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<title >Your Parenting Mojo</title>
<itunes:type >episodic</itunes:type>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Hi, I\'m Jen Lumanlan, host and founder of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast and author of Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family and the World.

The Your Parenting Mojo channel shares evidence-based parenting strategies that help you navigate the challenges of raising children. Through interviews with child development experts, psychologists, and fellow parents, we explore topics like emotion regulation, understanding child behavior, and building practical parenting skills.

My goal is to help you make informed decisions that work for your unique family--without relying on quick fixes or one-size-fits-all solutions--so you can focus on truly meeting your child\'s needs - and YOUR needs as well.

Subscribe to learn how to parent with confidence, connection, and collaboration.

Learn More About My Book:
https://yourparentingmojo.com/book]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Hi, I\'m Jen Lumanlan, host and founder of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast and author of Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family and the World.

The Your Parenting Mojo channel shares evidence-based parenting strategies that help you navigate the challenges of raising children. Through interviews with child development experts, psychologists, and fellow parents, we explore topics like emotion regulation, understanding child behavior, and building practical parenting skills.

My goal is to help you make informed decisions that work for your unique family--without relying on quick fixes or one-size-fits-all solutions--so you can focus on truly meeting your child\'s needs - and YOUR needs as well.

Subscribe to learn how to parent with confidence, connection, and collaboration.

Learn More About My Book:
https://yourparentingmojo.com/book]]></description>
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<copyright >Copyright 2026 Your Parenting Mojo</copyright>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<googleplay:author >Your Parenting Mojo</googleplay:author>
<itunes:owner ><itunes:name >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:name>
<itunes:email >noquezarry@gmail.com</itunes:email>
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<link >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</link>
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<podcast:episode >166</podcast:episode>
<podcast:locked >no</podcast:locked>
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<title >Re-release: Creative Problem-Solving (Without Giving the Answer)</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/re-release-creative-problem-solving-without-giving-the-answer-1788573897/33030289</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583489</guid>
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<pubDate >Mon, 17 Aug 2026 11:00:05 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[If you want your kid to solve problems creatively instead of waiting to be told the answer, this episode is for you.

I\'m talking with Sara, whose four-year-old started asking permission for things he used to just do on his own, like grabbing the markers off his own shelf.

In this episode, Sara talks about the drone that showed up out of nowhere and the fifteen minutes her son spent working out how it worked, using nothing but a toy helicopter he already understood. She also talks about the perfectionism she didn\'t realize she was carrying into their explorations, until a coaching call helped her name it.


https://yourparentingmojo.com//creative-problem-solving 

Key chapters: 
00:00 — Can Your Child Be Your Teacher?
03:09 — The Pressure of Growing Up With “Be the Best”
10:14 — “Who Is the Child in Front of You?”
12:27 — How Perfectionism Affects Parenting
20:59 — The Simple Rule: Don’t Give Your Child the Answer
25:45 — How to Know If You’re Actually Teaching Your Child
27:11 — Is It OK If Your Child Gets the Wrong Answer?
33:39 — Turning Everyday Problems Into Learning Opportunities
41:13 — The Power of Saying “I Wonder”
50:20 — Can Working Parents Actually Do This?
51:36 — The Most Important Skills Kids Need to Learn


 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#ChildLedLearning #InterestLedLearning #Parenting #ChildDevelopment #PositiveParenting]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[If you want your kid to solve problems creatively instead of waiting to be told the answer, this episode is for you.

I\'m talking with Sara, whose four-year-old started asking permission for things he used to just do on his own, like grabbing the markers off his own shelf.

In this episode, Sara talks about the drone that showed up out of nowhere and the fifteen minutes her son spent working out how it worked, using nothing but a toy helicopter he already understood. She also talks about the perfectionism she didn\'t realize she was carrying into their explorations, until a coaching call helped her name it.


https://yourparentingmojo.com//creative-problem-solving 

Key chapters: 
00:00 — Can Your Child Be Your Teacher?
03:09 — The Pressure of Growing Up With “Be the Best”
10:14 — “Who Is the Child in Front of You?”
12:27 — How Perfectionism Affects Parenting
20:59 — The Simple Rule: Don’t Give Your Child the Answer
25:45 — How to Know If You’re Actually Teaching Your Child
27:11 — Is It OK If Your Child Gets the Wrong Answer?
33:39 — Turning Everyday Problems Into Learning Opportunities
41:13 — The Power of Saying “I Wonder”
50:20 — Can Working Parents Actually Do This?
51:36 — The Most Important Skills Kids Need to Learn


 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#ChildLedLearning #InterestLedLearning #Parenting #ChildDevelopment #PositiveParenting]]></description>
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<itunes:duration >3182</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
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<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
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<item>
<title >Re-release: Raising an Entrepreneur (Without Taking Over Their Business)</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/re-release-raising-an-entrepreneur-without-taking-over-their-business-1788573897/33030290</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583521</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 03 Aug 2026 11:00:08 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Re-release: Raising an Entrepreneur (Without Taking Over Their Business) 

If you want your kid to build real skills like reliability and clear communication, and you\'re wondering whether starting a business could be the way to do it, this episode is for you.

My daughter Carys started a pet sitting business at 10 years old, and I didn\'t expect how much she\'d learn from it.

In this episode, I talk about the alarm that went off twice before Carys figured out how to remember the client\'s security code. I also talk about the client who wanted a regular early morning walk. Carys told him no, and a well-paying job sat right there while part of me wanted her to take it anyway.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/raising-an-entrepreneur

Key chapters: 
00:00 A shocking financial gift for kids (it\'s NOT a college fund)
01:26 Why kids should earn real income before middle school
03:08 The life skills every child learns from running a business
05:31 How entrepreneurship teaches organization naturally
07:13 Teaching healthy boundaries through business
08:07 Raising kind kids—not profit-obsessed entrepreneurs
09:35 Why difficult clients build resilience
11:11 How responsibility becomes self-motivation
12:50 Why entrepreneurship can be especially powerful for neurodivergent kids
13:59 Why ages 8–12 are the perfect time to start
17:50 Best businesses kids can actually start
20:24 The surprising power of starting young
22:05 Financial freedom vs. chasing money
25:02 How to support your child without taking over
31:54 Biggest concerns parents have (and the truth)
39:29 What running a kid\'s business actually looks like
47:31 A healthier alternative to screen time
48:38 How to help your child discover a business idea
52:05 Introducing Mind Your Own Business for Kids
53:13 The real goal isn\'t raising entrepreneurs


 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#Parenting
#ParentingTips
#Entrepreneurship
#KidsBusiness
#FinancialLiteracy
#RaiseIndependentKids
#PositiveParenting
#MoneyMindset
#LifeSkills
#YourParentingMojo
#ChildDevelopment
#Homeschool
#Unschooling
#EntrepreneurKids
#ParentEducation]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Re-release: Raising an Entrepreneur (Without Taking Over Their Business) 

If you want your kid to build real skills like reliability and clear communication, and you\'re wondering whether starting a business could be the way to do it, this episode is for you.

My daughter Carys started a pet sitting business at 10 years old, and I didn\'t expect how much she\'d learn from it.

In this episode, I talk about the alarm that went off twice before Carys figured out how to remember the client\'s security code. I also talk about the client who wanted a regular early morning walk. Carys told him no, and a well-paying job sat right there while part of me wanted her to take it anyway.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/raising-an-entrepreneur

Key chapters: 
00:00 A shocking financial gift for kids (it\'s NOT a college fund)
01:26 Why kids should earn real income before middle school
03:08 The life skills every child learns from running a business
05:31 How entrepreneurship teaches organization naturally
07:13 Teaching healthy boundaries through business
08:07 Raising kind kids—not profit-obsessed entrepreneurs
09:35 Why difficult clients build resilience
11:11 How responsibility becomes self-motivation
12:50 Why entrepreneurship can be especially powerful for neurodivergent kids
13:59 Why ages 8–12 are the perfect time to start
17:50 Best businesses kids can actually start
20:24 The surprising power of starting young
22:05 Financial freedom vs. chasing money
25:02 How to support your child without taking over
31:54 Biggest concerns parents have (and the truth)
39:29 What running a kid\'s business actually looks like
47:31 A healthier alternative to screen time
48:38 How to help your child discover a business idea
52:05 Introducing Mind Your Own Business for Kids
53:13 The real goal isn\'t raising entrepreneurs


 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#Parenting
#ParentingTips
#Entrepreneurship
#KidsBusiness
#FinancialLiteracy
#RaiseIndependentKids
#PositiveParenting
#MoneyMindset
#LifeSkills
#YourParentingMojo
#ChildDevelopment
#Homeschool
#Unschooling
#EntrepreneurKids
#ParentEducation]]></description>
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<itunes:duration >3322</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030290/re-release-raising-an-entrepreneur-without-taking-over-their-business.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030290/re-release-raising-an-entrepreneur-without-taking-over-their-business.jpg' ></itunes:image>
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<item>
<title >Burnout vs Depression: The Mental Load of Mothers</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/burnout-vs-depression-the-mental-load-of-mothers-1788573897/33030291</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583530</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 15 Jun 2026 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[If you’re feeling exhausted, and overwhelmed and you aren’t sleeping - and you wonder if you might be depressed, this episode is for you.

Bob Whitaker is a journalist who has spent decades investigating psychiatric treatment in the U.S. He won a George Polk Award and was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize. His book Anatomy of an Epidemic is a New York Times bestseller. And he has a lot to say about why so many mothers are being handed a diagnosis when what they actually need is support.

In this episode, Bob traces how women\'s distress has been medicalized instead of treated as a reasonable response to impossible circumstances. He describes psychiatry as a form of social control - because the entire system directs attention toward individual brains and away from the situations we’re living in. And he shares the results of a New Zealand study on postpartum depression that should have changed how we support new mothers - but it didn’t.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/adhd-without-medication 

Key chapters: 
00:00 Why Depression Diagnoses Are Rising in Mothers
01:25 Is Burnout Being Misdiagnosed as Depression?
03:29 Psychiatry as a Form of Social Control
04:26 Why Women\'s Distress Gets Medicalized
06:47 From Valium to Antidepressants
07:34 Are We Treating the Wrong Problem?
10:49 Depression or a Response to Your Environment?
12:05 The Postpartum Depression Study That Changed Everything
13:33 What Actually Prevented Postpartum Depression
14:33 Is the Problem Your Brain—or Your Situation?
15:00 What Every Burned-Out Mother Needs to Hear

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes


#MomBurnout
#MentalLoad
#Motherhood
#BurnoutVsDepression
#MaternalMentalHealth
#ParentingPodcast
#YourParentingMojo
#WorkingMoms
#PostpartumDepression
#MentalHealth
#ParentingSupport
#MomLife]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[If you’re feeling exhausted, and overwhelmed and you aren’t sleeping - and you wonder if you might be depressed, this episode is for you.

Bob Whitaker is a journalist who has spent decades investigating psychiatric treatment in the U.S. He won a George Polk Award and was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize. His book Anatomy of an Epidemic is a New York Times bestseller. And he has a lot to say about why so many mothers are being handed a diagnosis when what they actually need is support.

In this episode, Bob traces how women\'s distress has been medicalized instead of treated as a reasonable response to impossible circumstances. He describes psychiatry as a form of social control - because the entire system directs attention toward individual brains and away from the situations we’re living in. And he shares the results of a New Zealand study on postpartum depression that should have changed how we support new mothers - but it didn’t.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/adhd-without-medication 

Key chapters: 
00:00 Why Depression Diagnoses Are Rising in Mothers
01:25 Is Burnout Being Misdiagnosed as Depression?
03:29 Psychiatry as a Form of Social Control
04:26 Why Women\'s Distress Gets Medicalized
06:47 From Valium to Antidepressants
07:34 Are We Treating the Wrong Problem?
10:49 Depression or a Response to Your Environment?
12:05 The Postpartum Depression Study That Changed Everything
13:33 What Actually Prevented Postpartum Depression
14:33 Is the Problem Your Brain—or Your Situation?
15:00 What Every Burned-Out Mother Needs to Hear

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes


#MomBurnout
#MentalLoad
#Motherhood
#BurnoutVsDepression
#MaternalMentalHealth
#ParentingPodcast
#YourParentingMojo
#WorkingMoms
#PostpartumDepression
#MentalHealth
#ParentingSupport
#MomLife]]></description>
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<itunes:duration >899</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030291/burnout-vs-depression-the-mental-load-of-mothers.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030291/burnout-vs-depression-the-mental-load-of-mothers.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >If ADHD Medication Doesn\&apos;t Help Kids Learn, What Does?</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/if-adhd-medication-doesnt-help-kids-learn-what-does-1788573897/33030292</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583535</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 01 Jun 2026 11:00:16 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[If ADHD Medication Doesn\'t Help Kids Learn, What Does?

Most parents medicating their child with ADHD in the U.S. are doing it because they want their child to learn and succeed in school (social concerns are seen as more important to parents in the U.K.). But the largest ADHD treatment study ever conducted followed 538 children for six to eight years - and found no difference in academic achievement, grades, or test scores between kids on medication and kids who weren\'t. There were no significant differences even after the medicated group increased their average daily dose by 41%.

Medication changes kids’ behavior. It doesn\'t improve learning. And once you understand what the research shows really helps kids with ADHD in the classroom - and why most kids stop taking medication within a few years - the conversation about treatment may look very different.
You\'ll hear what kids say about being on stimulant medication in their own words, why the majority stop taking it within a few years, and what evidence-based classroom approaches actually produced real learning gains in a controlled study.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/adhd-without-medication 

Key chapters: 
00:00 Where We Left Off: ADHD Medication as the Answer
01:21 Does the Medical Model Hold Up?
02:57 Dr. Barkley’s ADHD Contradiction
05:45 Who Gets to Define ADHD Symptoms?
07:21 Parents vs. Children: Whose Voice Counts?
10:17 When ADHD Disappears in the Right Environment
12:24 If Medication Works, Why Do So Many Kids Stop Taking It?
13:00 Does ADHD Medication Improve Learning?
16:02 Good Teaching vs. Medication
18:02 What Actually Helps Kids Learn
20:00 What Kids Say Medication Feels Like
20:32 Should Children Have a Voice in Treatment Decisions?
22:02 Why Most People Quit ADHD Medication
23:23 What Kids Really Need to Thrive
24:16 Coming Next: Is ADHD the Problem—or the Environment?

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#ADHD #ADHDMedication #ADHDParenting #ParentingPodcast #YourParentingMojo #ChildDevelopment #Neurodiversity #Education #ParentingTips #ADHDResearch
#ChildBehavior #EvidenceBasedParenting]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[If ADHD Medication Doesn\'t Help Kids Learn, What Does?

Most parents medicating their child with ADHD in the U.S. are doing it because they want their child to learn and succeed in school (social concerns are seen as more important to parents in the U.K.). But the largest ADHD treatment study ever conducted followed 538 children for six to eight years - and found no difference in academic achievement, grades, or test scores between kids on medication and kids who weren\'t. There were no significant differences even after the medicated group increased their average daily dose by 41%.

Medication changes kids’ behavior. It doesn\'t improve learning. And once you understand what the research shows really helps kids with ADHD in the classroom - and why most kids stop taking medication within a few years - the conversation about treatment may look very different.
You\'ll hear what kids say about being on stimulant medication in their own words, why the majority stop taking it within a few years, and what evidence-based classroom approaches actually produced real learning gains in a controlled study.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/adhd-without-medication 

Key chapters: 
00:00 Where We Left Off: ADHD Medication as the Answer
01:21 Does the Medical Model Hold Up?
02:57 Dr. Barkley’s ADHD Contradiction
05:45 Who Gets to Define ADHD Symptoms?
07:21 Parents vs. Children: Whose Voice Counts?
10:17 When ADHD Disappears in the Right Environment
12:24 If Medication Works, Why Do So Many Kids Stop Taking It?
13:00 Does ADHD Medication Improve Learning?
16:02 Good Teaching vs. Medication
18:02 What Actually Helps Kids Learn
20:00 What Kids Say Medication Feels Like
20:32 Should Children Have a Voice in Treatment Decisions?
22:02 Why Most People Quit ADHD Medication
23:23 What Kids Really Need to Thrive
24:16 Coming Next: Is ADHD the Problem—or the Environment?

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#ADHD #ADHDMedication #ADHDParenting #ParentingPodcast #YourParentingMojo #ChildDevelopment #Neurodiversity #Education #ParentingTips #ADHDResearch
#ChildBehavior #EvidenceBasedParenting]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/04c867b2da9cf7f05d727691850ecf6f.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='22940000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >1503</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030292/if-adhd-medication-doesnt-help-kids-learn-what-does.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030292/if-adhd-medication-doesnt-help-kids-learn-what-does.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Einstein Never Used Flash Cards: How Kids Learn Best</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/einstein-never-used-flash-cards-how-kids-learn-best-1788573897/33030293</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583496</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Tue, 12 May 2026 02:18:35 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Einstein Never Used Flash Cards: How Kids Learn Best

If you\'ve ever stood in the toy aisle wondering which educational toy will actually help your kid learn - or signed them up for another enrichment class just to make sure you\'re not missing something - this episode is for you.

Dr. Kathy Hirsh-Pasek has spent more than 20 years studying how children learn. She\'s a psychology professor at Temple University, a Senior Fellow at the Brookings Institution, and co-author of Einstein Never Used Flash Cards - just updated for the age of AI. And her answer to the question of what actually helps kids learn best is probably not what the toy aisle is selling.

In this episode, she breaks down what playful learning actually looks like - with real examples from real classrooms and from the everyday things you\'re already doing at home. She explains the difference between free play, guided play, and direct instruction, and when each one actually serves kids. And she makes a case that the push to start earlier and do more may be working against what parents say they want for their kids.

There\'s also a moment at the end of the conversation where Jen asks Dr. Hirsh-Pasek two questions about research and culture that don\'t usually get asked in interviews like this one - and her answers are worth hearing.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/einstein-never-used-flash-cards 

Key chapters: 
00:00 Why Play Matters More Than Ever
01:05 The Pressure Parents Feel Today
03:34 “Stop Micromanaging Childhood”
05:24 The Science Behind Playful Learning
06:24 Why Modern Schooling Isn’t Working
07:40 What Playful Learning Actually Looks Like
11:53 Skip the Flashcards?
12:21 Real Learning Happens at Home
15:30 Are We Pushing Kids Too Hard?
16:55 Why Kids Need More Downtime
17:55 The Problem With Early Achievement Pressure
19:23 Why Researchers Avoided Studying Play
22:22 What Schools Should Really Teach
25:03 The Questions Parents Still Need to Ask


 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes


#PlayBasedLearning #LearningThroughPlay #ChildDevelopment #ParentingPodcast #ParentingPodcast #PlayBasedLearning #ChildDevelopment #GentleParenting
#PositiveParenting #LearningThroughPlay #EarlyChildhoodEducation #YourParentingMojo
#RespectfulParenting #ParentingTips #KidsLearning #PlayIsLearning]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Einstein Never Used Flash Cards: How Kids Learn Best

If you\'ve ever stood in the toy aisle wondering which educational toy will actually help your kid learn - or signed them up for another enrichment class just to make sure you\'re not missing something - this episode is for you.

Dr. Kathy Hirsh-Pasek has spent more than 20 years studying how children learn. She\'s a psychology professor at Temple University, a Senior Fellow at the Brookings Institution, and co-author of Einstein Never Used Flash Cards - just updated for the age of AI. And her answer to the question of what actually helps kids learn best is probably not what the toy aisle is selling.

In this episode, she breaks down what playful learning actually looks like - with real examples from real classrooms and from the everyday things you\'re already doing at home. She explains the difference between free play, guided play, and direct instruction, and when each one actually serves kids. And she makes a case that the push to start earlier and do more may be working against what parents say they want for their kids.

There\'s also a moment at the end of the conversation where Jen asks Dr. Hirsh-Pasek two questions about research and culture that don\'t usually get asked in interviews like this one - and her answers are worth hearing.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/einstein-never-used-flash-cards 

Key chapters: 
00:00 Why Play Matters More Than Ever
01:05 The Pressure Parents Feel Today
03:34 “Stop Micromanaging Childhood”
05:24 The Science Behind Playful Learning
06:24 Why Modern Schooling Isn’t Working
07:40 What Playful Learning Actually Looks Like
11:53 Skip the Flashcards?
12:21 Real Learning Happens at Home
15:30 Are We Pushing Kids Too Hard?
16:55 Why Kids Need More Downtime
17:55 The Problem With Early Achievement Pressure
19:23 Why Researchers Avoided Studying Play
22:22 What Schools Should Really Teach
25:03 The Questions Parents Still Need to Ask


 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes


#PlayBasedLearning #LearningThroughPlay #ChildDevelopment #ParentingPodcast #ParentingPodcast #PlayBasedLearning #ChildDevelopment #GentleParenting
#PositiveParenting #LearningThroughPlay #EarlyChildhoodEducation #YourParentingMojo
#RespectfulParenting #ParentingTips #KidsLearning #PlayIsLearning]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/1702cabdbf39584ab227b086f5bbcc42.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='23830000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >1621</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030293/einstein-never-used-flash-cards-how-kids-learn-best.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030293/einstein-never-used-flash-cards-how-kids-learn-best.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Who Really Decided Your Child Needs ADHD Medication?</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/who-really-decided-your-child-needs-adhd-medication-1788573897/33030294</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583523</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 27 Apr 2026 12:00:09 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Who Really Decided Your Child Needs ADHD Medication?

If your child\'s doctor has suggested stimulant medication for ADHD - or your child just got diagnosed and you\'re trying to figure out what to do next - you’re probably trying to figure out what to do next.
In this episode, I dig into the medical model of ADHD that most parents encounter when their child gets diagnosed. It comes largely from one very influential researcher, Dr. Russell Barkley, and it shapes what doctors say, what drug company ads claim, and what most parents believe about ADHD and medication. 

But when you look closely at the research, cracks start to appear - in the diagnostic criteria, in the science, and in the financial ties between the researchers who built this model and the pharmaceutical companies that profit from it.

You\'ll hear why the DSM-5 diagnostic criteria rely on a word - \"often\" - that has no objective measure, why there are large differences in diagnosis rates across states (and why it happens), and what the drug company ads used Barkley\'s research to tell parents - and the FDA’s ineffective response.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/stimulant-medication-adhd

Key chapters: 
00:00 Why This ADHD Mini-Series Matters
01:18 Meet Dr. Russell Barkley
03:05 What Dr. Barkley Says ADHD Is
06:42 How ADHD Is Diagnosed
10:08 The Problem With “Often”
13:02 Cultural Values Inside the Criteria
16:20 ADHD Compared to Diabetes
20:10 Brain Growth vs Lifelong Medication
24:18 Who Changed the Diagnosis Rules?
33:12 Following Pharma Money
39:22 Why Some States Diagnose More Kids
43:05 How Easy Is It to Get Diagnosed?
47:30 Scary ADHD Outcome Claims
53:18 Fear-Based Drug Ads to Parents
57:10 What Comes Next in Part 2**


 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes


#ADHD
#ADHDParenting
#ParentingPodcast
#YourParentingMojo
#ADHDMedication
#ChildBehavior
#ParentingTips
#MentalHealth
#Neurodivergent
#ADHDSupport]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Who Really Decided Your Child Needs ADHD Medication?

If your child\'s doctor has suggested stimulant medication for ADHD - or your child just got diagnosed and you\'re trying to figure out what to do next - you’re probably trying to figure out what to do next.
In this episode, I dig into the medical model of ADHD that most parents encounter when their child gets diagnosed. It comes largely from one very influential researcher, Dr. Russell Barkley, and it shapes what doctors say, what drug company ads claim, and what most parents believe about ADHD and medication. 

But when you look closely at the research, cracks start to appear - in the diagnostic criteria, in the science, and in the financial ties between the researchers who built this model and the pharmaceutical companies that profit from it.

You\'ll hear why the DSM-5 diagnostic criteria rely on a word - \"often\" - that has no objective measure, why there are large differences in diagnosis rates across states (and why it happens), and what the drug company ads used Barkley\'s research to tell parents - and the FDA’s ineffective response.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/stimulant-medication-adhd

Key chapters: 
00:00 Why This ADHD Mini-Series Matters
01:18 Meet Dr. Russell Barkley
03:05 What Dr. Barkley Says ADHD Is
06:42 How ADHD Is Diagnosed
10:08 The Problem With “Often”
13:02 Cultural Values Inside the Criteria
16:20 ADHD Compared to Diabetes
20:10 Brain Growth vs Lifelong Medication
24:18 Who Changed the Diagnosis Rules?
33:12 Following Pharma Money
39:22 Why Some States Diagnose More Kids
43:05 How Easy Is It to Get Diagnosed?
47:30 Scary ADHD Outcome Claims
53:18 Fear-Based Drug Ads to Parents
57:10 What Comes Next in Part 2**


 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes


#ADHD
#ADHDParenting
#ParentingPodcast
#YourParentingMojo
#ADHDMedication
#ChildBehavior
#ParentingTips
#MentalHealth
#Neurodivergent
#ADHDSupport]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/30c427028e08d470b021eb44b3095fea.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='40380000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2646</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030294/who-really-decided-your-child-needs-adhd-medication.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030294/who-really-decided-your-child-needs-adhd-medication.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >What\&apos;s Really Behind Your Child\&apos;s End of Day Meltdowns</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/whats-really-behind-your-childs-end-of-day-meltdowns-1788573897/33030295</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583491</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 20 Apr 2026 11:00:33 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[What\'s Really Behind Your Child\'s End of Day Meltdowns

If your child holds it together all day at preschool or daycare and then completely falls apart the moment they get home - melting down over dinner, refusing to go potty, battling every transition - you\'re not imagining it. There\'s a name for it: afterschool restraint collapse. And once you understand what\'s driving it, you can actually do something about it.

In this episode, I coach parent Kathleen through the end-of-day struggles with her three-year-old, who just started full-time preschool. Dinner is a battle. Potty time is a battle. Bedtime is a battle. And Kathleen has started to wonder if things would go more smoothly if she just... wasn\'t there. If that thought has ever crossed your mind, this one\'s for you.

You\'ll hear why low capacity at the end of the day shows up as meltdowns and transition resistance, what your child\'s need for connection has to do with mealtime battles and bedtime resistance, and one concrete practice that addresses the root cause instead of just managing the behavior.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/afterschool-restraint-collapse

Key chapters: 
00:00 Why Kids Melt Down After School
02:11 Parent Shares Evening Chaos
05:20 “It’s Absolutely Relentless”
07:08 The Real Cause of Meltdowns
08:15 Why Connection Comes First
10:48 Best Time for Special Time
12:00 School Changes Drain Capacity
13:00 Why Choices Sometimes Backfire
14:02 The “I Know You Can Do It” Trap
17:02 Why Family Dinner May Not Work
17:50 How to End Power Struggles
18:02 Meet Your Needs Too

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes


#ParentingPodcast #ToddlerMeltdown #GentleParenting #YourParentingMojo
#ChildBehavior #PositiveParenting #Tantrums #ParentingTips #PreschoolParenting
#MomLife #EmotionalRegulation #AfterSchoolMeltdown]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[What\'s Really Behind Your Child\'s End of Day Meltdowns

If your child holds it together all day at preschool or daycare and then completely falls apart the moment they get home - melting down over dinner, refusing to go potty, battling every transition - you\'re not imagining it. There\'s a name for it: afterschool restraint collapse. And once you understand what\'s driving it, you can actually do something about it.

In this episode, I coach parent Kathleen through the end-of-day struggles with her three-year-old, who just started full-time preschool. Dinner is a battle. Potty time is a battle. Bedtime is a battle. And Kathleen has started to wonder if things would go more smoothly if she just... wasn\'t there. If that thought has ever crossed your mind, this one\'s for you.

You\'ll hear why low capacity at the end of the day shows up as meltdowns and transition resistance, what your child\'s need for connection has to do with mealtime battles and bedtime resistance, and one concrete practice that addresses the root cause instead of just managing the behavior.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/afterschool-restraint-collapse

Key chapters: 
00:00 Why Kids Melt Down After School
02:11 Parent Shares Evening Chaos
05:20 “It’s Absolutely Relentless”
07:08 The Real Cause of Meltdowns
08:15 Why Connection Comes First
10:48 Best Time for Special Time
12:00 School Changes Drain Capacity
13:00 Why Choices Sometimes Backfire
14:02 The “I Know You Can Do It” Trap
17:02 Why Family Dinner May Not Work
17:50 How to End Power Struggles
18:02 Meet Your Needs Too

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes


#ParentingPodcast #ToddlerMeltdown #GentleParenting #YourParentingMojo
#ChildBehavior #PositiveParenting #Tantrums #ParentingTips #PreschoolParenting
#MomLife #EmotionalRegulation #AfterSchoolMeltdown]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/bac559d913b5bc51b26bdecb985c0d23.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='18140000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >1188</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030295/whats-really-behind-your-childs-end-of-day-meltdowns.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030295/whats-really-behind-your-childs-end-of-day-meltdowns.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How Limits Show Up in Your Child’s Body</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-limits-show-up-in-your-childs-body-1788573897/33030296</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583510</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 13 Apr 2026 11:00:52 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[How Limits Show Up in Your Child’s Body

If you have a preschooler, your morning may look something like this: cereal on the floor, shoes on the wrong feet, jumping on the bed when you needed to leave five minutes ago. And you\'ve said \"no\", \"stop\", and \"not like that\" so many times you\'ve lost count.

In this episode, I take one ordinary preschool morning - minute by minute, from wake-up to car seat - and look at it from a completely different angle. Not: \"how do I get my child to cooperate,\" but: \"what is my child actually trying to tell me right now?\" Because when you understand that, you can find strategies that meet both of your needs.

You\'ll hear why morning dawdling, defiance, and silliness before 8am is trying to communicate, what your child needs from you in those moments, and why the total pile-up of corrections across a morning matters just as much as any single limit you set. 

If your mornings feel like one long battle and you\'re not sure how to change that without throwing up your hands and giving in, this episode is for you.

Ready to move from correction-heavy mornings to fewer, truer limits?
If this episode resonated and you want real support putting the ideas in it into practice, the Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop is for you.

8 short, focused modules, and three live group coaching calls to get your questions answered.
The self-guided workshop is available year-round, but every April we run it live to give you even more support.

Enrollment is open until April 26. Until April 16 at midnight Pacific you can Pay What You Want: any amount (even $1) gets you full access. You choose what you pay. After that, the price moves up to a fixed rate.

Learn more about the Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits Live workshop & sign up at the Pay What You Want rate! Learn more here: https://yourparentingmojo.com/settinglimits/

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/preschool-morning-routine-behavior

Key Chapters:
00:00 – Why Mornings Feel Like a Battle
01:05 – A New Way to Look at Limits
02:18 – “I’m Fine.” (But They’re Not)
03:12 – Inside a Child’s Morning: A Play-by-Play
05:44 – The Pile-Up of Corrections
07:28 – What Your Child’s Behavior Is Really Saying
10:10 – Breakfast Drama: The Hidden Needs
12:25 – Getting Dressed: Play or Defiance?
14:40 – Toothbrushing Chaos Explained
17:00 – Shoes & Leaving the House
19:20 – Your Needs Matter Too
22:05 – Why Constant Correction Doesn’t Work
23:50 – Meeting Both Your Needs: A New Approach
25:30 – Practical Examples of Connection-Based Limits

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes


#ParentingPodcast
#YourParentingPodcast
#GentleParenting
#RespectfulParenting
#ConsciousParenting
#ChildBehavior
#ParentingTips
#ToddlerLife
#PreschoolParenting
#ParentingSupport
#PositiveParenting
#MorningRoutineWithKids]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[How Limits Show Up in Your Child’s Body

If you have a preschooler, your morning may look something like this: cereal on the floor, shoes on the wrong feet, jumping on the bed when you needed to leave five minutes ago. And you\'ve said \"no\", \"stop\", and \"not like that\" so many times you\'ve lost count.

In this episode, I take one ordinary preschool morning - minute by minute, from wake-up to car seat - and look at it from a completely different angle. Not: \"how do I get my child to cooperate,\" but: \"what is my child actually trying to tell me right now?\" Because when you understand that, you can find strategies that meet both of your needs.

You\'ll hear why morning dawdling, defiance, and silliness before 8am is trying to communicate, what your child needs from you in those moments, and why the total pile-up of corrections across a morning matters just as much as any single limit you set. 

If your mornings feel like one long battle and you\'re not sure how to change that without throwing up your hands and giving in, this episode is for you.

Ready to move from correction-heavy mornings to fewer, truer limits?
If this episode resonated and you want real support putting the ideas in it into practice, the Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop is for you.

8 short, focused modules, and three live group coaching calls to get your questions answered.
The self-guided workshop is available year-round, but every April we run it live to give you even more support.

Enrollment is open until April 26. Until April 16 at midnight Pacific you can Pay What You Want: any amount (even $1) gets you full access. You choose what you pay. After that, the price moves up to a fixed rate.

Learn more about the Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits Live workshop & sign up at the Pay What You Want rate! Learn more here: https://yourparentingmojo.com/settinglimits/

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/preschool-morning-routine-behavior

Key Chapters:
00:00 – Why Mornings Feel Like a Battle
01:05 – A New Way to Look at Limits
02:18 – “I’m Fine.” (But They’re Not)
03:12 – Inside a Child’s Morning: A Play-by-Play
05:44 – The Pile-Up of Corrections
07:28 – What Your Child’s Behavior Is Really Saying
10:10 – Breakfast Drama: The Hidden Needs
12:25 – Getting Dressed: Play or Defiance?
14:40 – Toothbrushing Chaos Explained
17:00 – Shoes & Leaving the House
19:20 – Your Needs Matter Too
22:05 – Why Constant Correction Doesn’t Work
23:50 – Meeting Both Your Needs: A New Approach
25:30 – Practical Examples of Connection-Based Limits

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes


#ParentingPodcast
#YourParentingPodcast
#GentleParenting
#RespectfulParenting
#ConsciousParenting
#ChildBehavior
#ParentingTips
#ToddlerLife
#PreschoolParenting
#ParentingSupport
#PositiveParenting
#MorningRoutineWithKids]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/f8fe63b4b2b3c3964e340c61215f2bd7.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='31180000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2043</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030296/how-limits-show-up-in-your-childs-body.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030296/how-limits-show-up-in-your-childs-body.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Why Your Kids Fight (It\&apos;s Not What You Think)</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/why-your-kids-fight-its-not-what-you-think-1788573897/33030297</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583501</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 29 Mar 2026 11:00:26 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Why Your Kids Fight (It\'s Not What You Think)

If your kids are fighting constantly - over toys, whose turn it is, who said what - and nothing you try seems to make a dent, this episode is for you.

In this Beyond the Behavior call, I work with parent Stacy, a mom of a 7-year-old and a 12-year-old who are stuck in a cycle of poking, teasing, and even lying to get each other in trouble. She\'s tried talking to them, stepping in, stepping back - and nothing works.

Most parents assume sibling fighting is about whatever they\'re fighting over. But sibling conflict is usually about something kids want from each other - or from you - that they don\'t yet know how to ask for directly. Once you can see what\'s actually causing the fighting, the path forward looks very different.

You\'ll hear why hitting between siblings is often a bid for connection rather than aggression, why stepping back and letting kids \"work it out\" can backfire when they don\'t yet have the tools to do that, and how to start building those tools in a way that actually sticks. 

You\'ll also learn why the most effective place to start isn\'t between the kids at all - and how quickly things can shift once you know what to focus on.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/sibling-conflict-resolution

Key chapters:
00:00 — Why Kids Really Fight (Sibling Rivalry Explained)
01:20 — Lying, Teasing & “Getting Each Other in Trouble”
02:45 — The True Cause Behind Sibling Fights: Connection Needs
04:00 — How Kids Use Hitting & Teasing to Ask for Connection
05:20 — Teaching Kids Better Ways to Seek Attention & Play
06:35 — Special Time: Why It Reduces Sibling Conflict
07:50 — When One Child Gets More of You: Balancing Attention
09:10 — Fixing Bedtime Battles & Overwhelm for Parents
10:30 — Should You Step In or Step Back in Sibling Fights?
11:40 — Teaching Kids to Name Feelings & Needs (Even Quiet Kids)
13:00 — Using the Needs Cupcake: Understanding Your Child\'s Core Needs
14:20 — How Kids Can Resolve Conflicts Without You
15:40 — A Simple First Step for Calming Conflict Fast
17:10 — Final Advice: Turning Sibling Fighting Into Connection

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#ParentingTips #GentleParenting #SiblingRivalry #ChildBehavior #YourParentingMojo]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Why Your Kids Fight (It\'s Not What You Think)

If your kids are fighting constantly - over toys, whose turn it is, who said what - and nothing you try seems to make a dent, this episode is for you.

In this Beyond the Behavior call, I work with parent Stacy, a mom of a 7-year-old and a 12-year-old who are stuck in a cycle of poking, teasing, and even lying to get each other in trouble. She\'s tried talking to them, stepping in, stepping back - and nothing works.

Most parents assume sibling fighting is about whatever they\'re fighting over. But sibling conflict is usually about something kids want from each other - or from you - that they don\'t yet know how to ask for directly. Once you can see what\'s actually causing the fighting, the path forward looks very different.

You\'ll hear why hitting between siblings is often a bid for connection rather than aggression, why stepping back and letting kids \"work it out\" can backfire when they don\'t yet have the tools to do that, and how to start building those tools in a way that actually sticks. 

You\'ll also learn why the most effective place to start isn\'t between the kids at all - and how quickly things can shift once you know what to focus on.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/sibling-conflict-resolution

Key chapters:
00:00 — Why Kids Really Fight (Sibling Rivalry Explained)
01:20 — Lying, Teasing & “Getting Each Other in Trouble”
02:45 — The True Cause Behind Sibling Fights: Connection Needs
04:00 — How Kids Use Hitting & Teasing to Ask for Connection
05:20 — Teaching Kids Better Ways to Seek Attention & Play
06:35 — Special Time: Why It Reduces Sibling Conflict
07:50 — When One Child Gets More of You: Balancing Attention
09:10 — Fixing Bedtime Battles & Overwhelm for Parents
10:30 — Should You Step In or Step Back in Sibling Fights?
11:40 — Teaching Kids to Name Feelings & Needs (Even Quiet Kids)
13:00 — Using the Needs Cupcake: Understanding Your Child\'s Core Needs
14:20 — How Kids Can Resolve Conflicts Without You
15:40 — A Simple First Step for Calming Conflict Fast
17:10 — Final Advice: Turning Sibling Fighting Into Connection

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#ParentingTips #GentleParenting #SiblingRivalry #ChildBehavior #YourParentingMojo]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/309e5a4a0bda6d30c2fa8bafbc57eb54.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='19090000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >1251</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030297/why-your-kids-fight-its-not-what-you-think.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030297/why-your-kids-fight-its-not-what-you-think.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How the Toxic Systems in the World Live Inside Our Parenting</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-the-toxic-systems-in-the-world-live-inside-our-parenting-1788573897/33030298</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583504</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 09 Mar 2026 11:01:37 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[How the Toxic Systems in the World Live Inside Our Parenting

You\'ve probably been watching the news and trying to figure out what to say to your kids - or whether to say anything at all. ICE raids. The Epstein files. Strikes on Iranian cities. It\'s a lot.

In this episode, I make a connection I\'ve been holding back from making publicly for a while now: what\'s happening out there in the world isn\'t separate from what happens inside our homes. The same pattern shows up everywhere - the person with more power decides whose feelings matter and whose don\'t. And our kids are watching all of it, at every scale.

You\'ll hear me talk through three of the biggest social issues in the news right now and trace them directly back to everyday parenting moments. You\'ll learn why the parents who explode when their kids say no were often kids who were never allowed to say no themselves, what research tells us about when girls start seeing their bodies as something to be judged rather than something that helps them do things, and why using power to manage your child\'s behavior in hard moments teaches a lesson you probably don\'t intend to pass on.

If you\'ve wondered how to talk to your kids about difficult news - or whether any of this even connects to parenting - this episode makes that case directly.

If you recognized yourself anywhere in this episode - if you know that when the poop hits the fan you fall back on power because you don\'t know what else to do - that\'s exactly what we work on in my Taming Your Triggers workshop. 

In the workshop, we go deep on why you get triggered, what you actually need in those moments, and how to build a different response from the inside out - so you\'re not just white-knuckling it through the hard moments anymore.

And we\'ve made it more accessible. You can now enroll in just the workshop without coaching calls for $300 less than the original price:

Spark: $97
Flame Keeper: $197
Hearth Builder: $297

Every tier includes the full 10-week workshop with weekly modules, all the tools and practices, lifetime access to materials, and the community. Coaching calls are available as a separate add-on if you want live support.

Click here to learn more - https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers/

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/ice-raids-epstein-power-parenting/

Key chapters:
00:00 – Why I Pulled Back From Talking About Social Systems
01:11 – Why Parenting Doesn’t Happen in a Bubble
02:27 – The Cost of Staying Silent
04:15 – The Systems That Shape Our Culture
07:58 – How Power Dynamics Show Up in Parenting
12:30 – The Privilege of Not Having to Think About These Systems
18:40 – The Cultural Narratives About “Good Parenting”
24:05 – Justifying Harm in the Name of Protection
30:10 – Patriarchy, Power, and Family Hierarchies
36:40 – Parenting More Consciously Inside These Systems


 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#ConsciousParenting
#ParentingPodcast
#GentleParenting
#ModernParenting
#ParentingStruggles]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[How the Toxic Systems in the World Live Inside Our Parenting

You\'ve probably been watching the news and trying to figure out what to say to your kids - or whether to say anything at all. ICE raids. The Epstein files. Strikes on Iranian cities. It\'s a lot.

In this episode, I make a connection I\'ve been holding back from making publicly for a while now: what\'s happening out there in the world isn\'t separate from what happens inside our homes. The same pattern shows up everywhere - the person with more power decides whose feelings matter and whose don\'t. And our kids are watching all of it, at every scale.

You\'ll hear me talk through three of the biggest social issues in the news right now and trace them directly back to everyday parenting moments. You\'ll learn why the parents who explode when their kids say no were often kids who were never allowed to say no themselves, what research tells us about when girls start seeing their bodies as something to be judged rather than something that helps them do things, and why using power to manage your child\'s behavior in hard moments teaches a lesson you probably don\'t intend to pass on.

If you\'ve wondered how to talk to your kids about difficult news - or whether any of this even connects to parenting - this episode makes that case directly.

If you recognized yourself anywhere in this episode - if you know that when the poop hits the fan you fall back on power because you don\'t know what else to do - that\'s exactly what we work on in my Taming Your Triggers workshop. 

In the workshop, we go deep on why you get triggered, what you actually need in those moments, and how to build a different response from the inside out - so you\'re not just white-knuckling it through the hard moments anymore.

And we\'ve made it more accessible. You can now enroll in just the workshop without coaching calls for $300 less than the original price:

Spark: $97
Flame Keeper: $197
Hearth Builder: $297

Every tier includes the full 10-week workshop with weekly modules, all the tools and practices, lifetime access to materials, and the community. Coaching calls are available as a separate add-on if you want live support.

Click here to learn more - https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers/

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/ice-raids-epstein-power-parenting/

Key chapters:
00:00 – Why I Pulled Back From Talking About Social Systems
01:11 – Why Parenting Doesn’t Happen in a Bubble
02:27 – The Cost of Staying Silent
04:15 – The Systems That Shape Our Culture
07:58 – How Power Dynamics Show Up in Parenting
12:30 – The Privilege of Not Having to Think About These Systems
18:40 – The Cultural Narratives About “Good Parenting”
24:05 – Justifying Harm in the Name of Protection
30:10 – Patriarchy, Power, and Family Hierarchies
36:40 – Parenting More Consciously Inside These Systems


 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#ConsciousParenting
#ParentingPodcast
#GentleParenting
#ModernParenting
#ParentingStruggles]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/994329c862069de233b7e98d7660b34c.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='39130000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2564</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030298/how-the-toxic-systems-in-the-world-live-inside-our-parenting.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030298/how-the-toxic-systems-in-the-world-live-inside-our-parenting.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Is Your Child\&apos;s Diagnosis Reliable? The DSM Explained</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/is-your-childs-diagnosis-reliable-the-dsm-explained-1788573897/33030299</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583517</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 02 Mar 2026 13:34:14 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Is Your Child\'s Diagnosis Reliable? The DSM Explained

When your child comes home with a psychiatric diagnosis, it can seem like a relief. Finally, an explanation for their behavior! But have you ever wondered how that diagnosis actually got made - and whether the system behind it was built to help your child, or to serve other purposes entirely?
In this episode, sociologist Dr. Allan Horwitz explains how the DSM - the manual that defines every mental health diagnosis your child could receive - was built less on science than on professional politics and institutional pressure. You\'ll hear how depression went from a diagnosis given to a small fraction of the population to one of the most common diagnoses in the world, and exactly why that shift happened in 1980.

Most parents assume psychiatric diagnosis works like other medical diagnosis - that researchers identified a condition, figured out how to recognize it, and wrote it down. Dr. Horwitz shows why that picture is much more complicated. The people who built the DSM weren\'t primarily thinking about the parent sitting across from a clinician hoping to understand their child. They were thinking about professional legitimacy, insurance reimbursement, and institutional survival.

You\'ll learn why two different clinicians can give the same child two different diagnoses, what the DSM-5 field trials actually showed about diagnosis reliability, and how a child\'s race, class, and cultural background shape which label they\'re likely to receive. You\'ll also hear why the youngest child in a classroom is significantly more likely to get a psychiatric diagnosis than their older classmates - and what that tells us about what\'s really being measured.

This episode won\'t tell you to reject a diagnosis outright. But it will give you the critical knowledge to ask better questions when a label is offered for your child.

Your Triggers Aren’t a Diagnosis. But They’re Worth Understanding.
This episode makes the case that the mental health system focuses on only what’s happening inside a person instead of looking at the broader circumstances around them – mostly to sell us more drugs. 

In reality, our struggles are a combination of the challenges we’ve experienced in the past (and how we’ve learned to handle them), and our situation today. We have to see both pieces to make sense of where we’ve been, and learn new tools for what’s happening now.

When your child’s behavior sends you into a reaction you regret later, a diagnosis or prescription may not help as much as understanding what’s underneath that reaction and where it came from. 

That’s exactly what the Taming Your Triggers workshop is built to help you do. In 10 weeks, you’ll learn why you react the way you do, how to meet your own needs so you have more capacity for your kids, and how to respond from your values instead of your history.

 Enrollment is only open for a couple more days, until midnight Pacific on Wednesday, March 4. Sign up here - https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers/

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/dsm-5-criticism-psychiatric-diagnosis-explained

Key chapters:
00:00 – Why Psychiatric Diagnoses Are “Essential” to Medicine
02:58 – Do Patients Need a Diagnosis to Get Treatment?
05:04 – What Changed in 1980? (The DSM-III Shift)
07:04 – How Depression Was Redefined
08:47 – Why Depression Rates Suddenly Soared
09:33 – The Bereavement Exception (And Why It Was Removed)
11:12 – Is Normal Sadness Now a Mental Disorder?
12:04 – Do Professions Expand Their Client Base?
12:49 – Can Medication Help Even If It’s “Normal” Grief?
14:02 – The Problem With Ignoring Social Context
16:38 – Why Therapy Can’t Fix Structural Problems

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes


#MentalHealth
#Depression
#Psychiatry
#DSM5
#Overdiagnosis
#PsychologyPodcast
#GriefAndLoss
#MentalHealthAwareness
#Medicalization
#Sociology]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Is Your Child\'s Diagnosis Reliable? The DSM Explained

When your child comes home with a psychiatric diagnosis, it can seem like a relief. Finally, an explanation for their behavior! But have you ever wondered how that diagnosis actually got made - and whether the system behind it was built to help your child, or to serve other purposes entirely?
In this episode, sociologist Dr. Allan Horwitz explains how the DSM - the manual that defines every mental health diagnosis your child could receive - was built less on science than on professional politics and institutional pressure. You\'ll hear how depression went from a diagnosis given to a small fraction of the population to one of the most common diagnoses in the world, and exactly why that shift happened in 1980.

Most parents assume psychiatric diagnosis works like other medical diagnosis - that researchers identified a condition, figured out how to recognize it, and wrote it down. Dr. Horwitz shows why that picture is much more complicated. The people who built the DSM weren\'t primarily thinking about the parent sitting across from a clinician hoping to understand their child. They were thinking about professional legitimacy, insurance reimbursement, and institutional survival.

You\'ll learn why two different clinicians can give the same child two different diagnoses, what the DSM-5 field trials actually showed about diagnosis reliability, and how a child\'s race, class, and cultural background shape which label they\'re likely to receive. You\'ll also hear why the youngest child in a classroom is significantly more likely to get a psychiatric diagnosis than their older classmates - and what that tells us about what\'s really being measured.

This episode won\'t tell you to reject a diagnosis outright. But it will give you the critical knowledge to ask better questions when a label is offered for your child.

Your Triggers Aren’t a Diagnosis. But They’re Worth Understanding.
This episode makes the case that the mental health system focuses on only what’s happening inside a person instead of looking at the broader circumstances around them – mostly to sell us more drugs. 

In reality, our struggles are a combination of the challenges we’ve experienced in the past (and how we’ve learned to handle them), and our situation today. We have to see both pieces to make sense of where we’ve been, and learn new tools for what’s happening now.

When your child’s behavior sends you into a reaction you regret later, a diagnosis or prescription may not help as much as understanding what’s underneath that reaction and where it came from. 

That’s exactly what the Taming Your Triggers workshop is built to help you do. In 10 weeks, you’ll learn why you react the way you do, how to meet your own needs so you have more capacity for your kids, and how to respond from your values instead of your history.

 Enrollment is only open for a couple more days, until midnight Pacific on Wednesday, March 4. Sign up here - https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers/

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/dsm-5-criticism-psychiatric-diagnosis-explained

Key chapters:
00:00 – Why Psychiatric Diagnoses Are “Essential” to Medicine
02:58 – Do Patients Need a Diagnosis to Get Treatment?
05:04 – What Changed in 1980? (The DSM-III Shift)
07:04 – How Depression Was Redefined
08:47 – Why Depression Rates Suddenly Soared
09:33 – The Bereavement Exception (And Why It Was Removed)
11:12 – Is Normal Sadness Now a Mental Disorder?
12:04 – Do Professions Expand Their Client Base?
12:49 – Can Medication Help Even If It’s “Normal” Grief?
14:02 – The Problem With Ignoring Social Context
16:38 – Why Therapy Can’t Fix Structural Problems

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes


#MentalHealth
#Depression
#Psychiatry
#DSM5
#Overdiagnosis
#PsychologyPodcast
#GriefAndLoss
#MentalHealthAwareness
#Medicalization
#Sociology]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/14ed79c72d3114b66ccfb66c755a9117.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='18970000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >1243</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030299/is-your-childs-diagnosis-reliable-the-dsm-explained.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030299/is-your-childs-diagnosis-reliable-the-dsm-explained.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Understanding Why Your Child Hits And What Actually Helps</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/understanding-why-your-child-hits-and-what-actually-helps-1788573897/33030300</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583500</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 16 Feb 2026 11:01:20 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Understanding Why Your Child Hits And What Actually Helps

When your child hits you, their sibling, or another child, you might wonder if this challenging behavior means something is wrong with your child or your parenting. But hitting is actually communication about unmet needs.

In this episode, I help you see hitting completely differently. Instead of focusing on consequences or punishment, you\'ll discover what your child is really trying to tell you through their actions. You\'ll learn how to identify the feelings and needs driving the hitting, and find replacement behaviors for hitting that actually work because they meet your child\'s needs.

Most advice about challenging behavior in early childhood misses what\'s really happening. When a 3-year-old hits, they\'re often trying to meet important needs like autonomy or connection, but they don\'t yet have the words or skills to do it differently.

You\'ll discover why \"is it normal for 3 year olds to hit?\" isn\'t the right question. The better question is: what is my child trying to communicate? You\'ll learn practical strategies for helping your child express their needs without hitting, including how to teach them to recognize their feelings and practice new ways to get their needs met.

Whether your child hits when they\'re frustrated, overwhelmed, or seeking connection, you\'ll leave with tools to support them while keeping everyone safe.

Struggling with your own triggered feelings?
If you’re struggling to navigate your own triggered feelings, I hope you’ll join me for the Why You’re So Angry with Your Child’s (Age 1- 10) Age-Appropriate ​​​​​​​Behavior – and what to do about it! masterclass.

Finally understand the causes of your triggered feelings and find out how to feel angry less often. Plus, you’ll be invited to a live coaching session on Feb 20 at 10 am Pacific where I will coach parents on their struggles. Sign up here: https://yourparentingmojo.com/triggersmasterclass

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/challenging-behavior-hitting

Key chapters:
00:00 – Why Is My Child Hitting “Out of Nowhere”?
01:16 – When Family Stress Shows Up as Behavior
03:18 – A Parent’s Real Story: High Energy, Hitting & Treat Battles
05:24 – The Question Most Parents Forget to Ask Themselves
09:13 – The Needs Behind Behavior (A Game-Changing Framework)
10:57 – Why Kids Demand Treats After School
13:53 – Can You Say Yes Without Creating Bad Habits?
17:12 – Teaching Kids to Name Their Needs (Even at 3!)
21:12 – When Hitting Is About Joy, Not Anger
24:39 – What NOT to Say (and Why Tickling Can Backfire)
27:07 – The Big Takeaway: Hitting Is Communication

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#ParentingPodcast
#ChildBehavior
#GentleParenting
#ToddlerBehavior
#HittingIsCommunication
#NeedsBasedParenting
#ConsciousParenting
#ParentingSupport]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Understanding Why Your Child Hits And What Actually Helps

When your child hits you, their sibling, or another child, you might wonder if this challenging behavior means something is wrong with your child or your parenting. But hitting is actually communication about unmet needs.

In this episode, I help you see hitting completely differently. Instead of focusing on consequences or punishment, you\'ll discover what your child is really trying to tell you through their actions. You\'ll learn how to identify the feelings and needs driving the hitting, and find replacement behaviors for hitting that actually work because they meet your child\'s needs.

Most advice about challenging behavior in early childhood misses what\'s really happening. When a 3-year-old hits, they\'re often trying to meet important needs like autonomy or connection, but they don\'t yet have the words or skills to do it differently.

You\'ll discover why \"is it normal for 3 year olds to hit?\" isn\'t the right question. The better question is: what is my child trying to communicate? You\'ll learn practical strategies for helping your child express their needs without hitting, including how to teach them to recognize their feelings and practice new ways to get their needs met.

Whether your child hits when they\'re frustrated, overwhelmed, or seeking connection, you\'ll leave with tools to support them while keeping everyone safe.

Struggling with your own triggered feelings?
If you’re struggling to navigate your own triggered feelings, I hope you’ll join me for the Why You’re So Angry with Your Child’s (Age 1- 10) Age-Appropriate ​​​​​​​Behavior – and what to do about it! masterclass.

Finally understand the causes of your triggered feelings and find out how to feel angry less often. Plus, you’ll be invited to a live coaching session on Feb 20 at 10 am Pacific where I will coach parents on their struggles. Sign up here: https://yourparentingmojo.com/triggersmasterclass

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/challenging-behavior-hitting

Key chapters:
00:00 – Why Is My Child Hitting “Out of Nowhere”?
01:16 – When Family Stress Shows Up as Behavior
03:18 – A Parent’s Real Story: High Energy, Hitting & Treat Battles
05:24 – The Question Most Parents Forget to Ask Themselves
09:13 – The Needs Behind Behavior (A Game-Changing Framework)
10:57 – Why Kids Demand Treats After School
13:53 – Can You Say Yes Without Creating Bad Habits?
17:12 – Teaching Kids to Name Their Needs (Even at 3!)
21:12 – When Hitting Is About Joy, Not Anger
24:39 – What NOT to Say (and Why Tickling Can Backfire)
27:07 – The Big Takeaway: Hitting Is Communication

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#ParentingPodcast
#ChildBehavior
#GentleParenting
#ToddlerBehavior
#HittingIsCommunication
#NeedsBasedParenting
#ConsciousParenting
#ParentingSupport]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/dd3ddf29a323ed7332d31ed206ca5f60.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='25670000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >1682</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030300/understanding-why-your-child-hits-and-what-actually-helps.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030300/understanding-why-your-child-hits-and-what-actually-helps.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Summary 08: What Is Collaborative Parenting? Real Parent Story</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/summary-08-what-is-collaborative-parenting-real-parent-story-1788573897/33030301</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583524</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 02 Feb 2026 11:00:20 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[What Is Collaborative Parenting? Real Parent Story

You probably started parenting with clear ideas about the kind of parent you wanted to be. Then reality hit, and you found yourself using timeouts or other strategies you swore you\'d never try.

Parent Maile Grace shares how her parenting values shifted since her daughter was born. She talks about moving away from punishments that seemed to work in the short term but didn\'t align with what she truly wanted for her relationship with her child. You\'ll hear a real example of how she supports her kids when they\'re fighting instead of jumping in to fix everything, and why building neighborhood connections matters more to her now than having a perfectly organized home.

This conversation shows what collaborative parenting and collaborative problem solving actually look like in daily life. You\'ll learn how children develop problem-solving skills when adults support them through sibling conflicts rather than immediately stepping in, why some common parenting strategies change behavior but damage relationships, and what it means to work with your child instead of trying to control them.

If you\'ve ever wondered whether values-based parenting works in real life with actual preschoolers and sibling fighting, this episode gives you an honest peek into one family\'s experience.

Struggling with your own triggered feelings?
If you’re struggling to navigate your own triggered feelings, I hope you’ll join me for the Why You’re So Angry with Your Child’s (Age 1- 10) Age-Appropriate ​​​​​​​Behavior – and what to do about it! masterclass.

Finally understand the causes of your triggered feelings and find out how to feel angry less often. Plus, you’ll be invited to a live coaching session on Feb 20 at 10 am Pacific where I will coach parents on their struggles. Sign up here: https://yourparentingmojo.com/triggersmasterclass

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/parenting-values-moving-beyond-punishments

Key chapters:
00:00 – When Parenting Doesn’t Match Your Values
02:05 – “I Swore I’d Never Parent Like This”
04:10 – Why Quick Fixes Like Timeouts Fall Apart
06:35 – What Collaborative Parenting Looks Like in Real Life
09:12 – Supporting Kids During Sibling Fights
12:08 – Letting Go of Control Without Letting Go of Leadership
15:40 – From Managing Behavior to Building Skills
18:55 – Choosing Connection Over Perfection

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#CollaborativeParenting
#ParentingPodcast
#GentleParenting
#RealParentStory
#ParentingValues
#PowerStruggles
#CoRegulation
#ConsciousParenting
#ParentingSupport
#BreakingCycles
#YourParentingMojo]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[What Is Collaborative Parenting? Real Parent Story

You probably started parenting with clear ideas about the kind of parent you wanted to be. Then reality hit, and you found yourself using timeouts or other strategies you swore you\'d never try.

Parent Maile Grace shares how her parenting values shifted since her daughter was born. She talks about moving away from punishments that seemed to work in the short term but didn\'t align with what she truly wanted for her relationship with her child. You\'ll hear a real example of how she supports her kids when they\'re fighting instead of jumping in to fix everything, and why building neighborhood connections matters more to her now than having a perfectly organized home.

This conversation shows what collaborative parenting and collaborative problem solving actually look like in daily life. You\'ll learn how children develop problem-solving skills when adults support them through sibling conflicts rather than immediately stepping in, why some common parenting strategies change behavior but damage relationships, and what it means to work with your child instead of trying to control them.

If you\'ve ever wondered whether values-based parenting works in real life with actual preschoolers and sibling fighting, this episode gives you an honest peek into one family\'s experience.

Struggling with your own triggered feelings?
If you’re struggling to navigate your own triggered feelings, I hope you’ll join me for the Why You’re So Angry with Your Child’s (Age 1- 10) Age-Appropriate ​​​​​​​Behavior – and what to do about it! masterclass.

Finally understand the causes of your triggered feelings and find out how to feel angry less often. Plus, you’ll be invited to a live coaching session on Feb 20 at 10 am Pacific where I will coach parents on their struggles. Sign up here: https://yourparentingmojo.com/triggersmasterclass

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/parenting-values-moving-beyond-punishments

Key chapters:
00:00 – When Parenting Doesn’t Match Your Values
02:05 – “I Swore I’d Never Parent Like This”
04:10 – Why Quick Fixes Like Timeouts Fall Apart
06:35 – What Collaborative Parenting Looks Like in Real Life
09:12 – Supporting Kids During Sibling Fights
12:08 – Letting Go of Control Without Letting Go of Leadership
15:40 – From Managing Behavior to Building Skills
18:55 – Choosing Connection Over Perfection

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#CollaborativeParenting
#ParentingPodcast
#GentleParenting
#RealParentStory
#ParentingValues
#PowerStruggles
#CoRegulation
#ConsciousParenting
#ParentingSupport
#BreakingCycles
#YourParentingMojo]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/0df9239ba1efd2cb23d3216e370b92bc.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='24190000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >1585</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030301/summary-08-what-is-collaborative-parenting-real-parent-story.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030301/summary-08-what-is-collaborative-parenting-real-parent-story.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Is Your Child\&apos;s Behavior Really a Disorder? A Psychiatrist Explains with Sami Timimi</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/is-your-childs-behavior-really-a-disorder-a-psychiatrist-explains-with-sami-timimi-1788573898/33030302</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583514</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 19 Jan 2026 11:00:07 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Is Your Child\'s Behavior Really a Disorder? A Psychiatrist Explains 

When your child gets diagnosed with ADHD, no doctor has actually found anything wrong with their brain. When you get screened for depression, the real problem might not be inside you at all.
Dr. Sami Timimi, a child and adolescent psychiatrist, explains how psychiatric diagnoses work - and what parents aren\'t being told. You\'ll discover why saying \"your child\'s hyperactivity is caused by a hyperactivity disorder\" is just circular reasoning, how the mental health industrial complex profits from turning distress into diagnoses, and why medications are prescribed based on short-term studies while long-term outcomes tell a very different story.

This episode reveals why focusing on \"fixing\" individuals misses the bigger picture: poverty, overwhelmed parents, school environments that don\'t work for many kids, and social isolation. 
When a struggling parent posts in a Facebook group asking for help, 15 people say \"get screened for depression.\" But what if the real solution isn\'t antidepressants - it\'s actual support for the challenges of parenting?

You\'ll learn what psychiatric diagnosis evaluations actually measure (hint: not your brain chemistry), why social and economic factors are the biggest determinants of mental health, and how the framework we use to understand distress shapes what solutions seem possible. Whether you\'re considering medication for yourself or your child, this conversation gives you the information you need to make truly informed decisions.

This is part 1 in an extended series of episodes on mental health.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/MHIC

Key Chapters:
00:00 – Is Your Child’s Behavior Really a Disorder?
01:12 – Why So Many Kids Are Being Labeled Today
03:18 – A Psychiatrist Explains: Behavior vs. Diagnosis
05:42 – What We Miss When We Focus Only on the Child
08:14 – How Environment Shapes Children’s Behavior
11:06 – Are We Over-Diagnosing Normal Childhood Struggles?
14:09 – When a Diagnosis Helps (and When It Hurts)
17:32 – Supporting Kids Without Pathologizing Them
20:48 – What Parents Can Do Instead of Jumping to Labels
24:10 – Rethinking Mental Health in Children


 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#ChildMentalHealth
#ParentingPodcast
#MentalHealth
#ChildBehavior
#Overdiagnosis
#PsychiatristExplains
#NeurodivergentKids
#ConsciousParenting
#GentleParenting
#YourParentingMojo
#ParentingSupport]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Is Your Child\'s Behavior Really a Disorder? A Psychiatrist Explains 

When your child gets diagnosed with ADHD, no doctor has actually found anything wrong with their brain. When you get screened for depression, the real problem might not be inside you at all.
Dr. Sami Timimi, a child and adolescent psychiatrist, explains how psychiatric diagnoses work - and what parents aren\'t being told. You\'ll discover why saying \"your child\'s hyperactivity is caused by a hyperactivity disorder\" is just circular reasoning, how the mental health industrial complex profits from turning distress into diagnoses, and why medications are prescribed based on short-term studies while long-term outcomes tell a very different story.

This episode reveals why focusing on \"fixing\" individuals misses the bigger picture: poverty, overwhelmed parents, school environments that don\'t work for many kids, and social isolation. 
When a struggling parent posts in a Facebook group asking for help, 15 people say \"get screened for depression.\" But what if the real solution isn\'t antidepressants - it\'s actual support for the challenges of parenting?

You\'ll learn what psychiatric diagnosis evaluations actually measure (hint: not your brain chemistry), why social and economic factors are the biggest determinants of mental health, and how the framework we use to understand distress shapes what solutions seem possible. Whether you\'re considering medication for yourself or your child, this conversation gives you the information you need to make truly informed decisions.

This is part 1 in an extended series of episodes on mental health.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/MHIC

Key Chapters:
00:00 – Is Your Child’s Behavior Really a Disorder?
01:12 – Why So Many Kids Are Being Labeled Today
03:18 – A Psychiatrist Explains: Behavior vs. Diagnosis
05:42 – What We Miss When We Focus Only on the Child
08:14 – How Environment Shapes Children’s Behavior
11:06 – Are We Over-Diagnosing Normal Childhood Struggles?
14:09 – When a Diagnosis Helps (and When It Hurts)
17:32 – Supporting Kids Without Pathologizing Them
20:48 – What Parents Can Do Instead of Jumping to Labels
24:10 – Rethinking Mental Health in Children


 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#ChildMentalHealth
#ParentingPodcast
#MentalHealth
#ChildBehavior
#Overdiagnosis
#PsychiatristExplains
#NeurodivergentKids
#ConsciousParenting
#GentleParenting
#YourParentingMojo
#ParentingSupport]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/0747feeb68f439085c8913d4c97303da.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='18020000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >1307</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030302/is-your-childs-behavior-really-a-disorder-a-psychiatrist-explains-with-sami-timimi.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030302/is-your-childs-behavior-really-a-disorder-a-psychiatrist-explains-with-sami-timimi.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >YPM 2025 Year in Review + What\&apos;s Coming in 2026</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/ypm-2025-year-in-review-whats-coming-in-2026-1788573898/33030303</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583502</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 12 Jan 2026 11:00:02 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[2025 was a year of evolution at Your Parenting Mojo. We explored parenting triggers (even when your childhood \"wasn\'t that bad\"), boundaries, and The Anxious Generation (which likely overstates the harms of social media on kids). Based on feedback from the Podcast Advisory Council, we shifted to shorter public episodes to get you to the insights that matter faster. This episode reviews some of my favorite episodes of 2025.

In 2026, we\'ll go deep on mental health. What is mental health? And how can we support it in ourselves and our children? I\'ve already recorded the first episodes and my mind has been blown by what I\'m learning.

Other changes already here: the Parenting Membership is now open year-round with a new onboarding process. The website is getting a redesign with filters so you can find episodes by your specific challenge and your child\'s age.

Sign up for the Parenting Membership: https://yourparentingmojo.com/par entingmembership

Key Chapters:
00:00 – Welcome to 2026: Why This Year Matters for Parents
01:35 – What We Learned About Parenting Triggers & Rage in 2025
03:44 – The Truth About Timeouts, Threats, and “Difficult” Behavior
04:30 – The Anxious Generation: What the Research Really Says
06:06 – Boundaries, Grief, and Letting Go of the Relationship You Wanted
07:43 – Why Podcast Episodes Are Shorter (And How This Helps You)
09:27 – Healing Yourself to Break Generational Cycles
10:31 – Big Changes: Filters, Website Redesign, and New Starter Videos
11:56 – Parenting Membership: Now Open Year-Round (What’s Inside)
12:58 – 2026 Theme: Mental Health, Neurodivergence & What’s Coming Next

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#YourParentingMojo
#ParentingPodcast
#MentalHealth
#ConsciousParenting:
#YourParentingMojo
#GentleParenting
#NeurodivergentKids
#ParentingSupport
#BreakingCycles
#MindfulParenting]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[2025 was a year of evolution at Your Parenting Mojo. We explored parenting triggers (even when your childhood \"wasn\'t that bad\"), boundaries, and The Anxious Generation (which likely overstates the harms of social media on kids). Based on feedback from the Podcast Advisory Council, we shifted to shorter public episodes to get you to the insights that matter faster. This episode reviews some of my favorite episodes of 2025.

In 2026, we\'ll go deep on mental health. What is mental health? And how can we support it in ourselves and our children? I\'ve already recorded the first episodes and my mind has been blown by what I\'m learning.

Other changes already here: the Parenting Membership is now open year-round with a new onboarding process. The website is getting a redesign with filters so you can find episodes by your specific challenge and your child\'s age.

Sign up for the Parenting Membership: https://yourparentingmojo.com/par entingmembership

Key Chapters:
00:00 – Welcome to 2026: Why This Year Matters for Parents
01:35 – What We Learned About Parenting Triggers & Rage in 2025
03:44 – The Truth About Timeouts, Threats, and “Difficult” Behavior
04:30 – The Anxious Generation: What the Research Really Says
06:06 – Boundaries, Grief, and Letting Go of the Relationship You Wanted
07:43 – Why Podcast Episodes Are Shorter (And How This Helps You)
09:27 – Healing Yourself to Break Generational Cycles
10:31 – Big Changes: Filters, Website Redesign, and New Starter Videos
11:56 – Parenting Membership: Now Open Year-Round (What’s Inside)
12:58 – 2026 Theme: Mental Health, Neurodivergence & What’s Coming Next

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#YourParentingMojo
#ParentingPodcast
#MentalHealth
#ConsciousParenting:
#YourParentingMojo
#GentleParenting
#NeurodivergentKids
#ParentingSupport
#BreakingCycles
#MindfulParenting]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/119dcda2eb5f8b166a230a54f0431638.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='19420000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >1272</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030303/ypm-2025-year-in-review-whats-coming-in-2026.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030303/ypm-2025-year-in-review-whats-coming-in-2026.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Summary 06: When Holiday Gift Boundaries Don\&apos;t Work (What Does?)</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/summary-06-when-holiday-gift-boundaries-dont-work-what-does-1788573898/33030304</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583533</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 24 Nov 2025 10:01:30 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[You\'ve created the wishlist. You\'ve had the conversation. You\'ve said: \"Please buy from this list, or we\'ll donate it.\"

Another Amazon package arrives. Dancing cactus. Plastic toys. Everything opposite to what you\'ve asked for.

You\'re stuck between two thoughts: \"Why can\'t she respect what I\'ve said?\" and \"What\'s wrong with me? Why can\'t I just be grateful?\"

When unwanted gifts from your parent keep triggering you this badly, they\'re touching something way deeper than clutter.

In this excerpt from a coaching conversation with Sam, we explore what\'s really happening when gift boundaries fail year after year. Through an embodiment exercise, Sam discovers what needs her mom is trying to meet - relevance, connection, mattering. She finds empathy while still honoring her own need to be truly seen.

But the breakthrough comes when we talk about what to do when your parent simply can\'t give you what you long for. Boundaries can help with that, but grief work is transformative. 

This episode reveals why letting go of resentment means stopping the exhausting work of holding the door to a deeper relationship open, waiting for your parent to walk through it - without cutting off contact entirely.

If you’re dealing with a parent who ignores your values, or you wonder why you’re having such big reactions to well-intended gifts, this conversation shows how you can find peace - even when your parent never changes.

Key Chapters:
00:00 – When Gifts Trigger Something Deeper
00:29 – “Why Can’t She Respect My Boundaries?”
00:56 – The Real Reason Unwanted Gifts Hurt
05:16 – What Sam Discovered by “Becoming” Her Mom
06:02 – The Deeper Needs Behind Excessive Gift Giving
14:37 – The Grief No One Talks About
15:00 – The Door Metaphor: Letting Go Without Cutting Off
15:44 – When a Gift Stops Meaning “She Doesn’t See Me”
16:06 – Finding Other Ways to Feel Seen
16:45 – Rituals for Releasing the Relationship You Wanted


 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#UnwantedGifts #ParentingBoundaries #FeelingUnseen #ParentWounds
#FamilyBoundaries #EmotionalTriggers #GiftGivingStress #ToxicGiftGiving #ParentingPodcast
#AdultChildHealing #InnerChildWork #ConsciousParenting #YourParentingMojo #BreakingTheCycle
#GriefAndHealing #EmotionalResilience]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[You\'ve created the wishlist. You\'ve had the conversation. You\'ve said: \"Please buy from this list, or we\'ll donate it.\"

Another Amazon package arrives. Dancing cactus. Plastic toys. Everything opposite to what you\'ve asked for.

You\'re stuck between two thoughts: \"Why can\'t she respect what I\'ve said?\" and \"What\'s wrong with me? Why can\'t I just be grateful?\"

When unwanted gifts from your parent keep triggering you this badly, they\'re touching something way deeper than clutter.

In this excerpt from a coaching conversation with Sam, we explore what\'s really happening when gift boundaries fail year after year. Through an embodiment exercise, Sam discovers what needs her mom is trying to meet - relevance, connection, mattering. She finds empathy while still honoring her own need to be truly seen.

But the breakthrough comes when we talk about what to do when your parent simply can\'t give you what you long for. Boundaries can help with that, but grief work is transformative. 

This episode reveals why letting go of resentment means stopping the exhausting work of holding the door to a deeper relationship open, waiting for your parent to walk through it - without cutting off contact entirely.

If you’re dealing with a parent who ignores your values, or you wonder why you’re having such big reactions to well-intended gifts, this conversation shows how you can find peace - even when your parent never changes.

Key Chapters:
00:00 – When Gifts Trigger Something Deeper
00:29 – “Why Can’t She Respect My Boundaries?”
00:56 – The Real Reason Unwanted Gifts Hurt
05:16 – What Sam Discovered by “Becoming” Her Mom
06:02 – The Deeper Needs Behind Excessive Gift Giving
14:37 – The Grief No One Talks About
15:00 – The Door Metaphor: Letting Go Without Cutting Off
15:44 – When a Gift Stops Meaning “She Doesn’t See Me”
16:06 – Finding Other Ways to Feel Seen
16:45 – Rituals for Releasing the Relationship You Wanted


 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#UnwantedGifts #ParentingBoundaries #FeelingUnseen #ParentWounds
#FamilyBoundaries #EmotionalTriggers #GiftGivingStress #ToxicGiftGiving #ParentingPodcast
#AdultChildHealing #InnerChildWork #ConsciousParenting #YourParentingMojo #BreakingTheCycle
#GriefAndHealing #EmotionalResilience]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/362ee20f2793fb81c25f80a90aa983ab.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='16480000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >1080</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030304/summary-06-when-holiday-gift-boundaries-dont-work-what-does.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030304/summary-06-when-holiday-gift-boundaries-dont-work-what-does.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Summary 05: How to Enforce Boundaries When Someone Doesn\&apos;t Respect Them</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/summary-05-how-to-enforce-boundaries-when-someone-doesnt-respect-them-1788573898/33030305</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583519</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Tue, 11 Nov 2025 01:32:28 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[You’ve told them not to call during work. They still do.
You’ve said no to unwanted gifts — another package arrives.
You’ve asked them to stop commenting on your body — they bring it up again.

What do you do when someone doesn’t respect your boundaries?

In this episode, therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab explains how to enforce boundaries through your behavior, not just your words. You’ll learn:

The “Fire Extinguisher Method” for stopping uncomfortable conversations fast

How to embody your boundaries through consistent action

What to do when family members or caregivers keep crossing the line

Why it’s okay for people to be upset when you set limits

This conversation gets honest about the tough reality of boundaries — especially when you depend on someone for help or childcare. Learn how to stay firm, protect your peace, and decide when words aren’t enough.

Key Chapters:
00:00 – Intro: Meet Nedra Glover Tawwab
01:10 – Why People Ignore Boundaries
02:00 – When Setting Boundaries Feels Selfish
03:30 – What a Boundary Really Is
05:00 – Enforcing Boundaries Through Action
07:00 – The Fire Extinguisher Method 
08:45 – Handling Unwanted Gifts & Body Comments
10:20 – How to Stop Conversations Early
13:15 – Boundaries with People You Depend On
15:00 – Choosing Between Support and Respect
17:00 – Responding Gracefully to Boundary Violations
18:30 – Teaching Kids About Boundaries
20:30 – Nedra’s New Children’s Book
23:00 – Final Takeaways

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#Boundaries #NedraTawwab #EmotionalHealth #SelfGrowth #TherapyPodcast #HealthyRelationships]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[You’ve told them not to call during work. They still do.
You’ve said no to unwanted gifts — another package arrives.
You’ve asked them to stop commenting on your body — they bring it up again.

What do you do when someone doesn’t respect your boundaries?

In this episode, therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab explains how to enforce boundaries through your behavior, not just your words. You’ll learn:

The “Fire Extinguisher Method” for stopping uncomfortable conversations fast

How to embody your boundaries through consistent action

What to do when family members or caregivers keep crossing the line

Why it’s okay for people to be upset when you set limits

This conversation gets honest about the tough reality of boundaries — especially when you depend on someone for help or childcare. Learn how to stay firm, protect your peace, and decide when words aren’t enough.

Key Chapters:
00:00 – Intro: Meet Nedra Glover Tawwab
01:10 – Why People Ignore Boundaries
02:00 – When Setting Boundaries Feels Selfish
03:30 – What a Boundary Really Is
05:00 – Enforcing Boundaries Through Action
07:00 – The Fire Extinguisher Method 
08:45 – Handling Unwanted Gifts & Body Comments
10:20 – How to Stop Conversations Early
13:15 – Boundaries with People You Depend On
15:00 – Choosing Between Support and Respect
17:00 – Responding Gracefully to Boundary Violations
18:30 – Teaching Kids About Boundaries
20:30 – Nedra’s New Children’s Book
23:00 – Final Takeaways

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#Boundaries #NedraTawwab #EmotionalHealth #SelfGrowth #TherapyPodcast #HealthyRelationships]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/498a2da4c778d5f7567944f6457d20fe.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='22750000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >1595</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030305/summary-05-how-to-enforce-boundaries-when-someone-doesnt-respect-them.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030305/summary-05-how-to-enforce-boundaries-when-someone-doesnt-respect-them.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >When You Don’t Enjoy Playing With Your Child: What It Really Means (and What To Do About It)</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/when-you-dont-enjoy-playing-with-your-child-what-it-really-means-and-what-to-do-about-it-1788573898/33030306</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583490</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 20 Oct 2025 11:00:04 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Do you wake up with tension knowing your child will want to play the moment you leave your bedroom? Most parents think the problem is that they don\'t enjoy play enough. But the real issue often runs much deeper: when you were taught that your worth comes from productivity, play can feel like a waste of time - even with your own child. Instead of forcing yourself through Special Time or setting endless boundaries, you can learn to meet both your needs and your child\'s needs at the same time.

This episode reveals why productivity guilt makes Special Time so hard and teaches you three strategies to make play easier. You\'ll discover why disliking play often comes from childhood messages about productivity, how to use Special Time as mindfulness practice, and why your child\'s challenging behaviors (stealing your bookmark, throwing blankets over your head, resisting bedtime) are actually bids for connection.

Whether you\'re struggling with parenting guilt about play or dealing with a child who won\'t leave you alone, this coaching conversation with parent Ajia shows you how to move from depletion to connection while honoring your need for rest.

Ready to work through your own parenting challenge?

Our FREE Beyond The Behavior coaching calls can help you find strategies that work for your family. Calls happen monthly on the second Wednesday from 9-10:30am Pacific. 
Sign up now: https://yourparentingmojo.com/beyondthebehavior/

Key Chapters:
00:00 – “I Don’t Enjoy Playing With My Child”
02:01 – Why Play Feels So Hard for Parents
06:45 – The Hidden Pressure to Be the “Perfect Parent”
11:30 – How Your Childhood Shapes Your Reactions
15:02 – What’s Really Behind the Guilt
20:15 – Simple Ways to Bring Back Joy in Play
25:11 – The Morning Blanket Struggle: A Real-Life Example
30:03 – Balancing Your Needs and Your Child’s Needs
36:40 – Healing Productivity Guilt and Finding Connection

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes


#ParentingPodcast
#GentleParenting
#MindfulParenting
#ParentingGuilt
#SpecialTime
#PlayWithKids
#ParentingBurnout
#YourParentingMojo]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Do you wake up with tension knowing your child will want to play the moment you leave your bedroom? Most parents think the problem is that they don\'t enjoy play enough. But the real issue often runs much deeper: when you were taught that your worth comes from productivity, play can feel like a waste of time - even with your own child. Instead of forcing yourself through Special Time or setting endless boundaries, you can learn to meet both your needs and your child\'s needs at the same time.

This episode reveals why productivity guilt makes Special Time so hard and teaches you three strategies to make play easier. You\'ll discover why disliking play often comes from childhood messages about productivity, how to use Special Time as mindfulness practice, and why your child\'s challenging behaviors (stealing your bookmark, throwing blankets over your head, resisting bedtime) are actually bids for connection.

Whether you\'re struggling with parenting guilt about play or dealing with a child who won\'t leave you alone, this coaching conversation with parent Ajia shows you how to move from depletion to connection while honoring your need for rest.

Ready to work through your own parenting challenge?

Our FREE Beyond The Behavior coaching calls can help you find strategies that work for your family. Calls happen monthly on the second Wednesday from 9-10:30am Pacific. 
Sign up now: https://yourparentingmojo.com/beyondthebehavior/

Key Chapters:
00:00 – “I Don’t Enjoy Playing With My Child”
02:01 – Why Play Feels So Hard for Parents
06:45 – The Hidden Pressure to Be the “Perfect Parent”
11:30 – How Your Childhood Shapes Your Reactions
15:02 – What’s Really Behind the Guilt
20:15 – Simple Ways to Bring Back Joy in Play
25:11 – The Morning Blanket Struggle: A Real-Life Example
30:03 – Balancing Your Needs and Your Child’s Needs
36:40 – Healing Productivity Guilt and Finding Connection

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes


#ParentingPodcast
#GentleParenting
#MindfulParenting
#ParentingGuilt
#SpecialTime
#PlayWithKids
#ParentingBurnout
#YourParentingMojo]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/ac724c860dd78da3270b0bf1eadc1c8f.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='37840000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2480</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030306/when-you-dont-enjoy-playing-with-your-child-what-it-really-means-and-what-to-do-about-it.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030306/when-you-dont-enjoy-playing-with-your-child-what-it-really-means-and-what-to-do-about-it.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Managing Anger as a Parent: The Two Types of Anger You Need to Know</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/managing-anger-as-a-parent-the-two-types-of-anger-you-need-to-know-1788573898/33030307</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583537</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 29 Sep 2025 11:00:09 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Managing Anger as a Parent: The Two Types of Anger You Need to Know

Are you tired of feeling guilty every time you get angry as a parent? Most parental anger management approaches treat all anger the same way - as a problem requiring control. But research shows there are actually two distinct types of parental anger, and understanding this difference changes everything about managing anger as a parent. Instead of suppressing your emotions or exploding at your kids, you can learn to use your anger constructively.

This episode reveals why traditional anger control methods often backfire and teaches you the HEAR method for responding to parental anger issues constructively. You\'ll discover the difference between Values-Aligned Anger (pointing to systemic problems) and Reactive Anger (emerging from overwhelm or triggers). 

Whether you\'re an overwhelmed parent dealing with parental rage symptoms or anger that signals real problems in your family systems, this framework helps you respond from connection instead of control while modeling healthy emotions for your children.

Ready to go deeper?

If you\'re experiencing a lot of Reactive Anger from past triggers, our Taming Your Triggers workshop can help you stay regulated and connected even in challenging moments. Enrollment closes October 1st.

Sign up now: https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers 

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/reparenting-yourself-inner-critic-trauma-cycle-magic-trick/

Key Chapters
00:00 – The Parenting Anger Myth
00:31 – Morning Chaos: Why We Snap at Kids
01:19 – Not All Anger Is the Same
04:38 – Two Types of Anger Every Parent Needs to Know
06:28 – Reactive Anger: Overwhelm & Triggers
09:25 – The Cultural Lie About “Fixing Yourself”
11:03 – The HEAR Method: A New Way to Handle Anger
15:14 – Practical Ways to Respond (Without Yelling)
19:18 – Anger, Mental Load, and Relationship Struggles
22:14 – How to Turn Anger Into Positive Change

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting #YourParentingMojo]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Managing Anger as a Parent: The Two Types of Anger You Need to Know

Are you tired of feeling guilty every time you get angry as a parent? Most parental anger management approaches treat all anger the same way - as a problem requiring control. But research shows there are actually two distinct types of parental anger, and understanding this difference changes everything about managing anger as a parent. Instead of suppressing your emotions or exploding at your kids, you can learn to use your anger constructively.

This episode reveals why traditional anger control methods often backfire and teaches you the HEAR method for responding to parental anger issues constructively. You\'ll discover the difference between Values-Aligned Anger (pointing to systemic problems) and Reactive Anger (emerging from overwhelm or triggers). 

Whether you\'re an overwhelmed parent dealing with parental rage symptoms or anger that signals real problems in your family systems, this framework helps you respond from connection instead of control while modeling healthy emotions for your children.

Ready to go deeper?

If you\'re experiencing a lot of Reactive Anger from past triggers, our Taming Your Triggers workshop can help you stay regulated and connected even in challenging moments. Enrollment closes October 1st.

Sign up now: https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers 

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/reparenting-yourself-inner-critic-trauma-cycle-magic-trick/

Key Chapters
00:00 – The Parenting Anger Myth
00:31 – Morning Chaos: Why We Snap at Kids
01:19 – Not All Anger Is the Same
04:38 – Two Types of Anger Every Parent Needs to Know
06:28 – Reactive Anger: Overwhelm & Triggers
09:25 – The Cultural Lie About “Fixing Yourself”
11:03 – The HEAR Method: A New Way to Handle Anger
15:14 – Practical Ways to Respond (Without Yelling)
19:18 – Anger, Mental Load, and Relationship Struggles
22:14 – How to Turn Anger Into Positive Change

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting #YourParentingMojo]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/74e6631de4b58eb1828e200fe84199df.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='22360000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >1465</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030307/managing-anger-as-a-parent-the-two-types-of-anger-you-need-to-know.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030307/managing-anger-as-a-parent-the-two-types-of-anger-you-need-to-know.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Why Do I Keep Snapping? Parenting Rage When Your Childhood Wasn\&apos;t That Bad</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/why-do-i-keep-snapping-parenting-rage-when-your-childhood-wasnt-that-bad-1788573898/33030308</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583513</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 22 Sep 2025 11:00:10 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Why Do I Keep Snapping? Parenting Rage When Your Childhood Wasn\'t That Bad

Do you find yourself going from zero to 100 when your child spills something or refuses to cooperate? If you\'re constantly asking \"why do I keep snapping at my child?\" - this episode reveals the hidden connection between childhood trauma and parenting triggers.

In this real coaching session with Terese, a teacher and mom of three, you\'ll discover how unresolved childhood trauma shows up in parenting - even when your childhood \"wasn\'t that bad.\" Learn practical strategies to break cycles of yelling and reactivity

Ready to stop snapping at your kids and start showing up as the parent you know you can be? Join the Taming Your Triggers workshop - enrollment is now open until Oct. 1! Sign up now: https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers/ 

Chapters:
00:00 – “I Go From 0 to 100”
02:10 – When Snapping Isn’t About Stress
06:08 – How Childhood Patterns Sneak Into Parenting
08:01 – Walking on Eggshells as a Kid
10:26 – The Shift: “It’s Not My Fault”
15:35 – Practical Tools to Stop Snapping
18:54 – Meeting Your Baseline Needs
20:19 – Parenting With Self-Compassion
23:53 – Silencing the Inner Critic’s Voice
26:09 – Thoughts Aren’t Facts

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/unknown-childhood-trauma-parenting-triggers/

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting #YourParentingMojo]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Why Do I Keep Snapping? Parenting Rage When Your Childhood Wasn\'t That Bad

Do you find yourself going from zero to 100 when your child spills something or refuses to cooperate? If you\'re constantly asking \"why do I keep snapping at my child?\" - this episode reveals the hidden connection between childhood trauma and parenting triggers.

In this real coaching session with Terese, a teacher and mom of three, you\'ll discover how unresolved childhood trauma shows up in parenting - even when your childhood \"wasn\'t that bad.\" Learn practical strategies to break cycles of yelling and reactivity

Ready to stop snapping at your kids and start showing up as the parent you know you can be? Join the Taming Your Triggers workshop - enrollment is now open until Oct. 1! Sign up now: https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers/ 

Chapters:
00:00 – “I Go From 0 to 100”
02:10 – When Snapping Isn’t About Stress
06:08 – How Childhood Patterns Sneak Into Parenting
08:01 – Walking on Eggshells as a Kid
10:26 – The Shift: “It’s Not My Fault”
15:35 – Practical Tools to Stop Snapping
18:54 – Meeting Your Baseline Needs
20:19 – Parenting With Self-Compassion
23:53 – Silencing the Inner Critic’s Voice
26:09 – Thoughts Aren’t Facts

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/unknown-childhood-trauma-parenting-triggers/

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting #YourParentingMojo]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/61962f3ef4498a388bf38a0899c66f3f.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='30560000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2002</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030308/why-do-i-keep-snapping-parenting-rage-when-your-childhood-wasnt-that-bad.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030308/why-do-i-keep-snapping-parenting-rage-when-your-childhood-wasnt-that-bad.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Episode Summary 04: Reparenting Yourself: Break Your Family\&apos;s Trauma Cycle</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/episode-summary-04-reparenting-yourself-break-your-familys-trauma-cycle-1788573898/33030309</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583508</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 15 Sep 2025 01:00:03 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Reparenting Yourself: Break Your Family\'s Trauma Cycle

Do you have an inner critic that makes parenting feel way harder than it needs to be? That voice that whispers \"You\'re a bad parent\" when your child has a meltdown or \"You\'ve damaged them forever\" when you lose your patience?

In this episode, I share a simple but powerful magic trick that can interrupt these patterns and help you break generational cycles. This is about learning to question the thoughts that keep you stuck in old trauma patterns.

Join us for a flipped classroom-style masterclass where you’ll uncover the reasons behind your triggers and learn tools to respond more calmly and intentionally to your child’s age-appropriate behavior. Sign up now: https://yourparentingmojo.com/triggersmasterclass/ 

Chapters:
00:00 – The Parenting \"Magic Trick\"
00:40 – Understanding the Inner Critic
02:11 – How Childhood Trauma Shapes Parenting
03:44 – 4 Signs Your Inner Critic is Talking
05:24 – The Magic Trick: “I’m Thinking That…”
08:14 – Real Parent Story: Breaking Old Patterns
13:29 – Escaping the Resentful Parent Role
14:29 – Shifting From Reacting to Responding
16:39 – Parenting Yourself with Self-Compassion
18:07 – 5-Step Process to Quiet the Inner Critic
21:31 – Thoughts Aren’t Facts: Finding Freedom

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/reparenting-yourself-inner-critic-trauma-cycle-magic-trick/

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting #YourParentingMojo]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Reparenting Yourself: Break Your Family\'s Trauma Cycle

Do you have an inner critic that makes parenting feel way harder than it needs to be? That voice that whispers \"You\'re a bad parent\" when your child has a meltdown or \"You\'ve damaged them forever\" when you lose your patience?

In this episode, I share a simple but powerful magic trick that can interrupt these patterns and help you break generational cycles. This is about learning to question the thoughts that keep you stuck in old trauma patterns.

Join us for a flipped classroom-style masterclass where you’ll uncover the reasons behind your triggers and learn tools to respond more calmly and intentionally to your child’s age-appropriate behavior. Sign up now: https://yourparentingmojo.com/triggersmasterclass/ 

Chapters:
00:00 – The Parenting \"Magic Trick\"
00:40 – Understanding the Inner Critic
02:11 – How Childhood Trauma Shapes Parenting
03:44 – 4 Signs Your Inner Critic is Talking
05:24 – The Magic Trick: “I’m Thinking That…”
08:14 – Real Parent Story: Breaking Old Patterns
13:29 – Escaping the Resentful Parent Role
14:29 – Shifting From Reacting to Responding
16:39 – Parenting Yourself with Self-Compassion
18:07 – 5-Step Process to Quiet the Inner Critic
21:31 – Thoughts Aren’t Facts: Finding Freedom

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/reparenting-yourself-inner-critic-trauma-cycle-magic-trick/

 Connect with us:
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589
Like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Read my blog: https://yourparentingmojo.com/blog/
Check out past audio episodes: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/episodes

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting #YourParentingMojo]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/17609fcc4f12fa0b5086865b629ac117.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='18640000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >1306</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030309/episode-summary-04-reparenting-yourself-break-your-familys-trauma-cycle.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030309/episode-summary-04-reparenting-yourself-break-your-familys-trauma-cycle.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Episode Summary 03 - How to Stop Yelling as a Parent: Emotional Regulation Techniques That Work</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/episode-summary-03-how-to-stop-yelling-as-a-parent-emotional-regulation-techniques-that-work-1788573898/33030310</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583506</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Tue, 09 Sep 2025 06:45:39 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Episode Summary 03 - How to Stop Yelling as a Parent: Emotional Regulation Techniques That Work

Do you ever find yourself yelling at your child before you even realize what’s happening?  That jaw-clenching, shoulder-tensing moment where words fly out that you wish you could take back—you\'re not alone. Millions of parents experience this automatic stress response every day.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
 The science behind why willpower alone can’t stop yelling
 What’s really happening in your body during triggered moments
 Why emotional suppression backfires—and what to do instead
 Quick grounding techniques (like one conscious breath) that actually work in real parenting situations
 How your emotional regulation shapes your child’s ability to handle life’s challenges

This is your shortcut to understanding emotional regulation, drawn from several in-depth episodes—perfect for busy parents who want answers now.

 If you’ve ever wondered:

Why do I yell at my child even when I don’t want to?

Does yelling affect my child long-term?

How can I stop yelling without stuffing down my feelings?

…this episode will give you clarity and practical tools you can start using today.

 Don’t miss the upcoming Masterclass:
Why You’re So Angry with Your Child’s Age-Appropriate Behavior (and What To Do About It)
 September 19 at 10am PT – flipped-classroom style with live Q&A!

 Click here to sign up: https://yourparentingmojo.com/triggersmasterclass/

 Ready to break the cycle of yelling and conflict? Join the Taming Your Triggers workshop and learn to respond with calm, compassion, and connection. https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers/

Chapters:
0:00 Introduction – Why parents yell before they realize it
2:30 What’s happening in your body during a trigger
6:00 Why “just stay calm” doesn’t work
9:15 Simple grounding techniques that actually help
13:00 How your child learns emotional regulation from


#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting #YourParentingMojo]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Episode Summary 03 - How to Stop Yelling as a Parent: Emotional Regulation Techniques That Work

Do you ever find yourself yelling at your child before you even realize what’s happening?  That jaw-clenching, shoulder-tensing moment where words fly out that you wish you could take back—you\'re not alone. Millions of parents experience this automatic stress response every day.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
 The science behind why willpower alone can’t stop yelling
 What’s really happening in your body during triggered moments
 Why emotional suppression backfires—and what to do instead
 Quick grounding techniques (like one conscious breath) that actually work in real parenting situations
 How your emotional regulation shapes your child’s ability to handle life’s challenges

This is your shortcut to understanding emotional regulation, drawn from several in-depth episodes—perfect for busy parents who want answers now.

 If you’ve ever wondered:

Why do I yell at my child even when I don’t want to?

Does yelling affect my child long-term?

How can I stop yelling without stuffing down my feelings?

…this episode will give you clarity and practical tools you can start using today.

 Don’t miss the upcoming Masterclass:
Why You’re So Angry with Your Child’s Age-Appropriate Behavior (and What To Do About It)
 September 19 at 10am PT – flipped-classroom style with live Q&A!

 Click here to sign up: https://yourparentingmojo.com/triggersmasterclass/

 Ready to break the cycle of yelling and conflict? Join the Taming Your Triggers workshop and learn to respond with calm, compassion, and connection. https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers/

Chapters:
0:00 Introduction – Why parents yell before they realize it
2:30 What’s happening in your body during a trigger
6:00 Why “just stay calm” doesn’t work
9:15 Simple grounding techniques that actually help
13:00 How your child learns emotional regulation from


#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting #YourParentingMojo]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/7381eb1f19d281162c49ee8ca1bb5a10.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='16400000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >1074</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030310/episode-summary-03-how-to-stop-yelling-as-a-parent-emotional-regulation-techniques-that-work.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030310/episode-summary-03-how-to-stop-yelling-as-a-parent-emotional-regulation-techniques-that-work.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >What is FAFO Parenting? The 9 Most Important Things Parents Should Know</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/what-is-fafo-parenting-the-9-most-important-things-parents-should-know-1788573898/33030311</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583527</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Tue, 02 Sep 2025 17:01:24 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[What is FAFO Parenting? The 9 Most Important Things Parents Should Know

If you\'ve been scrolling TikTok or parenting forums lately, you\'ve probably encountered FAFO parenting - the trending approach that\'s being positioned as the antidote to ‘overly permissive’ gentle parenting. Standing for ‘F*** Around and Find Out,’ this parenting style centers on letting children experience harsh consequences without parental intervention, even when parents could easily prevent those consequences.

But is FAFO parenting actually effective, or does it create more problems than it solves? In this comprehensive episode, we explore what FAFO parenting really looks like in practice, examine the research behind popular parenting approaches, and uncover why both FAFO and traditional gentle parenting often miss the mark. 

Most importantly, we\'ll discover collaborative alternatives that meet both children\'s developmental needs and parents\' legitimate needs - without the exhaustion of scripted responses or the relationship damage of harsh consequences.

What you\'ll learn in this episode
 The hidden problems with FAFO parenting that can damage parent-child relationships: Discover how this approach can increase lying, reduce trust, and position parents as adversaries rather than allies in their children\'s development.
 Why most \"gentle parenting\" isn\'t actually gentle: Learn how scripted validation and sweetener offers are really just \"control with lipstick,\" and why this approach exhausts parents without meeting children\'s real needs.
 The real reasons behind children\'s challenging behaviors: Understand the complex factors affecting today\'s kids, from school pressure to reduced community support, and why behavior is often communication about unmet needs.
 How to move beyond the false choice between \"tough\" and \"soft\" parenting: Explore collaborative approaches that set effective boundaries while maintaining connection, using curiosity about underlying needs rather than reactive consequences.
 Alternatives that work better than both FAFO and scripted gentle parenting: Discover practical tools for meeting both parents\' and children\'s psychological needs through creative problem-solving.
 How your parenting approach shapes the culture your family creates: Learn why the methods you choose today influence not just compliance, but the kind of adults your children become and the world they\'ll help create.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/what-is-fafo-parenting 

Jump to highlights
1:23 Introduction of today’s podcast
2:33 What FAFO parenting looks like
6:07 FAFO parenting confuses punishment with consequences
10:33 FAFO parenting may damage the parent-child relationship
11:53 Research shows us that children thrive when they have a secure relationship with their caregivers
15:55 What people actually mean when they say ‘gentle parenting’?
22:39 The real reasons behind kids’ behavior challenges that FAFO parenting misses
27:52 FAFO parenting often encourages children to lie and hide mistakes rather than being honest, since telling the truth leads to unpleasant consequences
32:33 FAFO parenting sees stopping undesirable behavior as more important than understanding it
47:39 FAFO parenting skips over the possibility of meeting both people’s needs. It assumes that when there’s a conflict, someone has to lose and usually that someone is the child
51:27 An open invitation for Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parentingpodcast #Parenting #GentleParenting #StopYelling #EmotionalRegulation #ParentingTips]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[What is FAFO Parenting? The 9 Most Important Things Parents Should Know

If you\'ve been scrolling TikTok or parenting forums lately, you\'ve probably encountered FAFO parenting - the trending approach that\'s being positioned as the antidote to ‘overly permissive’ gentle parenting. Standing for ‘F*** Around and Find Out,’ this parenting style centers on letting children experience harsh consequences without parental intervention, even when parents could easily prevent those consequences.

But is FAFO parenting actually effective, or does it create more problems than it solves? In this comprehensive episode, we explore what FAFO parenting really looks like in practice, examine the research behind popular parenting approaches, and uncover why both FAFO and traditional gentle parenting often miss the mark. 

Most importantly, we\'ll discover collaborative alternatives that meet both children\'s developmental needs and parents\' legitimate needs - without the exhaustion of scripted responses or the relationship damage of harsh consequences.

What you\'ll learn in this episode
 The hidden problems with FAFO parenting that can damage parent-child relationships: Discover how this approach can increase lying, reduce trust, and position parents as adversaries rather than allies in their children\'s development.
 Why most \"gentle parenting\" isn\'t actually gentle: Learn how scripted validation and sweetener offers are really just \"control with lipstick,\" and why this approach exhausts parents without meeting children\'s real needs.
 The real reasons behind children\'s challenging behaviors: Understand the complex factors affecting today\'s kids, from school pressure to reduced community support, and why behavior is often communication about unmet needs.
 How to move beyond the false choice between \"tough\" and \"soft\" parenting: Explore collaborative approaches that set effective boundaries while maintaining connection, using curiosity about underlying needs rather than reactive consequences.
 Alternatives that work better than both FAFO and scripted gentle parenting: Discover practical tools for meeting both parents\' and children\'s psychological needs through creative problem-solving.
 How your parenting approach shapes the culture your family creates: Learn why the methods you choose today influence not just compliance, but the kind of adults your children become and the world they\'ll help create.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/what-is-fafo-parenting 

Jump to highlights
1:23 Introduction of today’s podcast
2:33 What FAFO parenting looks like
6:07 FAFO parenting confuses punishment with consequences
10:33 FAFO parenting may damage the parent-child relationship
11:53 Research shows us that children thrive when they have a secure relationship with their caregivers
15:55 What people actually mean when they say ‘gentle parenting’?
22:39 The real reasons behind kids’ behavior challenges that FAFO parenting misses
27:52 FAFO parenting often encourages children to lie and hide mistakes rather than being honest, since telling the truth leads to unpleasant consequences
32:33 FAFO parenting sees stopping undesirable behavior as more important than understanding it
47:39 FAFO parenting skips over the possibility of meeting both people’s needs. It assumes that when there’s a conflict, someone has to lose and usually that someone is the child
51:27 An open invitation for Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parentingpodcast #Parenting #GentleParenting #StopYelling #EmotionalRegulation #ParentingTips]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/8787027f777ab5046c0b9433c21f36e7.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='54800000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3842</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030311/what-is-fafo-parenting-the-9-most-important-things-parents-should-know.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030311/what-is-fafo-parenting-the-9-most-important-things-parents-should-know.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to Do Homeschooling: A Former Teacher Explores Unschooling</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-do-homeschooling-a-former-teacher-explores-unschooling-1788573898/33030312</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583505</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 17 Aug 2025 17:00:30 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[How to Do Homeschooling A Former Teacher Explores Unschooling

Ever wondered about alternative paths to educate your child outside the traditional school system? My guest today is Laura Moore, who spent 15 years in early childhood education - and who is now exploring homeschooling alternatives, including unschooling, for her own child.

As a teacher and mother of a 3.5-year-old, Laura brings a unique insider perspective to the education debate. She opens up about witnessing the limitations of the current school system, the pressure children face to conform to rigid schedules, and why she\'s questioning whether traditional schooling truly serves our children\'s best interests.

You\'ll hear a raw, honest conversation between two parents grappling with real concerns about education choices. Laura shares her genuine questions about balancing work with alternative education, handling judgment from others, and whether children can truly thrive outside the conventional system. Her curiosity about unschooling leads to fascinating insights about child-led learning, maintaining boundaries while honoring children\'s natural rhythms, and creating educational experiences that preserve rather than diminish curiosity.

Questions this episode will answer
 What is unschooling and how does it work?
 How is unschooling different from homeschooling?
 Can you homeschool while working full time?
 What are the pros and cons of homeschooling?
 How to get started with homeschooling?
 Is homeschooling better than traditional education?
 What are the advantages of homeschooling?
 What\'s wrong with the traditional education system?
 How do you handle judgment about homeschooling decisions?
 Do homeschooled children get into college?
 How do homeschooled children get socialization?
 What\'s the role of parents in unschooling?
 How do you balance work and alternative education as a family?
 What happens to children\'s natural curiosity in traditional school?

Ready to help your child develop skills they’ll need in the future?

The Learning Membership helps you become the \"guide on the side\" who follows your child\'s true interests and supports them in developing the crucial capabilities they will need. 
You\'ll learn to identify the theories your child is building about the world, connect them with resources to answer their own questions, and help them solve problems that have real meaning to real people—not just assignments designed to grade performance. 

Sign up here for the Learning Membership: https://yourparentingmojo.com/learningmembership/

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/what-is-unschooling-guide-homeschooling-vs-traditional-education/

Jump to highlights:
2:09 Introduction of today’s episode and guest
8:53 Laura feels a little bit uncertain about where the education system is going in the UK.
18:54 We can step out of curriculum pressure by remembering that learning happens everywhere. Kids will be ahead in some areas, behind in others, and that’s okay
29:43 When we model honoring our boundaries and needs, we teach our children that they can do the same. This creates powerful learning about mutual respect. Moving away from rigid school schedules allows both parent and child to follow their body’s rhythms
41:59 While childcare coverage matters more when children are younger, older kids become more self-sufficient. Older age kids can direct their own time, but in the younger age range, having regular places to go can be helpful for families
55:25 Laura believes in learning through play and child-led learning. Children lose their joy when forced to learn things they don’t care about. She’d follow her child’s curiosities and interests while gently introducing essentials the child might need, honoring her child’s way of exploring the world
1:01:01 You don’t have to justify when someone asks why your child isn’t at school at 10 o’clock on a Wednesday morning when you’re doing homeschooling
1:09:58 Wrapping up the discussion

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting #homschooling #YourParentingMojo]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[How to Do Homeschooling A Former Teacher Explores Unschooling

Ever wondered about alternative paths to educate your child outside the traditional school system? My guest today is Laura Moore, who spent 15 years in early childhood education - and who is now exploring homeschooling alternatives, including unschooling, for her own child.

As a teacher and mother of a 3.5-year-old, Laura brings a unique insider perspective to the education debate. She opens up about witnessing the limitations of the current school system, the pressure children face to conform to rigid schedules, and why she\'s questioning whether traditional schooling truly serves our children\'s best interests.

You\'ll hear a raw, honest conversation between two parents grappling with real concerns about education choices. Laura shares her genuine questions about balancing work with alternative education, handling judgment from others, and whether children can truly thrive outside the conventional system. Her curiosity about unschooling leads to fascinating insights about child-led learning, maintaining boundaries while honoring children\'s natural rhythms, and creating educational experiences that preserve rather than diminish curiosity.

Questions this episode will answer
 What is unschooling and how does it work?
 How is unschooling different from homeschooling?
 Can you homeschool while working full time?
 What are the pros and cons of homeschooling?
 How to get started with homeschooling?
 Is homeschooling better than traditional education?
 What are the advantages of homeschooling?
 What\'s wrong with the traditional education system?
 How do you handle judgment about homeschooling decisions?
 Do homeschooled children get into college?
 How do homeschooled children get socialization?
 What\'s the role of parents in unschooling?
 How do you balance work and alternative education as a family?
 What happens to children\'s natural curiosity in traditional school?

Ready to help your child develop skills they’ll need in the future?

The Learning Membership helps you become the \"guide on the side\" who follows your child\'s true interests and supports them in developing the crucial capabilities they will need. 
You\'ll learn to identify the theories your child is building about the world, connect them with resources to answer their own questions, and help them solve problems that have real meaning to real people—not just assignments designed to grade performance. 

Sign up here for the Learning Membership: https://yourparentingmojo.com/learningmembership/

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/what-is-unschooling-guide-homeschooling-vs-traditional-education/

Jump to highlights:
2:09 Introduction of today’s episode and guest
8:53 Laura feels a little bit uncertain about where the education system is going in the UK.
18:54 We can step out of curriculum pressure by remembering that learning happens everywhere. Kids will be ahead in some areas, behind in others, and that’s okay
29:43 When we model honoring our boundaries and needs, we teach our children that they can do the same. This creates powerful learning about mutual respect. Moving away from rigid school schedules allows both parent and child to follow their body’s rhythms
41:59 While childcare coverage matters more when children are younger, older kids become more self-sufficient. Older age kids can direct their own time, but in the younger age range, having regular places to go can be helpful for families
55:25 Laura believes in learning through play and child-led learning. Children lose their joy when forced to learn things they don’t care about. She’d follow her child’s curiosities and interests while gently introducing essentials the child might need, honoring her child’s way of exploring the world
1:01:01 You don’t have to justify when someone asks why your child isn’t at school at 10 o’clock on a Wednesday morning when you’re doing homeschooling
1:09:58 Wrapping up the discussion

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting #homschooling #YourParentingMojo]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/727156f81402a8235f57bbdb5cf18e91.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='64430000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >4222</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030312/how-to-do-homeschooling-a-former-teacher-explores-unschooling.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030312/how-to-do-homeschooling-a-former-teacher-explores-unschooling.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >From \&apos;Be the Best\&apos; Anxiety to Trusting Your Child\&apos;s Natural Learning</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/from-be-the-best-anxiety-to-trusting-your-childs-natural-learning-1788573898/33030313</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583495</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 11 Aug 2025 08:20:52 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[From “Be the Best” Anxiety to Trusting Your Child’s Natural Learning | Parenting Podcast

When Sara’s 4-year-old suddenly started asking permission to use art supplies he’d always had free access to, she knew something had changed. A year in a (wonderful!) preschool had shifted her confident, independent child into someone seeking approval — and it didn’t align with her values.

If this was happening at home, what changes might she not be seeing?

Sara wanted to homeschool but couldn’t. Instead, she made a commitment: she would help her son stay connected to joyful, curiosity-driven learning — even in a system focused on rote memorization.

In this inspiring episode, Sara shares how she went from perfectionist “Be the Best!” parenting to trusting her child’s natural learning process. You’ll hear:

Real-life examples of turning everyday moments into powerful learning opportunities

How to scaffold without taking over

Why asking “I wonder…” beats giving answers every time

How to protect curiosity in the age of instant AI answers

Strategies working parents can use to support interest-led learning — without adding more to their plates

Whether you homeschool, work full-time, or just want to nurture your child’s creativity and confidence, this episode will show you how to step back, trust the process, and watch your child thrive.

 Topics Covered:
 Interest-based learning in everyday family life
 Scaffolding your child’s curiosity
 Spotting genuine engagement vs. parent-led learning
 Following your child’s interests
 Creative problem-solving skills for the future

 Join the Learning Membership Waitlist
The Learning Membership is reopening soon! Learn how to nurture your child’s curiosity while building their confidence as a learner.
 https://yourparentingmojo.com/learningmembership/

 Episode References & Resources:
https://yourparentingmojo.com/interest-led-learning-journey

#Parenting #InterestLedLearning #Homeschool #ParentingPodcast #ChildDevelopment #CuriosityDrivenLearning #MontessoriAtHome #GentleParenting]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[From “Be the Best” Anxiety to Trusting Your Child’s Natural Learning | Parenting Podcast

When Sara’s 4-year-old suddenly started asking permission to use art supplies he’d always had free access to, she knew something had changed. A year in a (wonderful!) preschool had shifted her confident, independent child into someone seeking approval — and it didn’t align with her values.

If this was happening at home, what changes might she not be seeing?

Sara wanted to homeschool but couldn’t. Instead, she made a commitment: she would help her son stay connected to joyful, curiosity-driven learning — even in a system focused on rote memorization.

In this inspiring episode, Sara shares how she went from perfectionist “Be the Best!” parenting to trusting her child’s natural learning process. You’ll hear:

Real-life examples of turning everyday moments into powerful learning opportunities

How to scaffold without taking over

Why asking “I wonder…” beats giving answers every time

How to protect curiosity in the age of instant AI answers

Strategies working parents can use to support interest-led learning — without adding more to their plates

Whether you homeschool, work full-time, or just want to nurture your child’s creativity and confidence, this episode will show you how to step back, trust the process, and watch your child thrive.

 Topics Covered:
 Interest-based learning in everyday family life
 Scaffolding your child’s curiosity
 Spotting genuine engagement vs. parent-led learning
 Following your child’s interests
 Creative problem-solving skills for the future

 Join the Learning Membership Waitlist
The Learning Membership is reopening soon! Learn how to nurture your child’s curiosity while building their confidence as a learner.
 https://yourparentingmojo.com/learningmembership/

 Episode References & Resources:
https://yourparentingmojo.com/interest-led-learning-journey

#Parenting #InterestLedLearning #Homeschool #ParentingPodcast #ChildDevelopment #CuriosityDrivenLearning #MontessoriAtHome #GentleParenting]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/fab554903b42cff81f8e3e0ab5f9a241.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='48620000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3186</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030313/from-be-the-best-anxiety-to-trusting-your-childs-natural-learning.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030313/from-be-the-best-anxiety-to-trusting-your-childs-natural-learning.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Why Your 8-12 Year Old Should Start a Business And How to Support Them Without Taking Over!</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/why-your-8-12-year-old-should-start-a-business-and-how-to-support-them-without-taking-over-1788573898/33030314</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583531</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 03 Aug 2025 17:00:54 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Why Your 8-12 Year Old Should Start a Business And How to Support Them Without Taking Over!

What if the most powerful gift you could give your child isn\'t a college fund, but the skills to create their own income at age 10? When my daughter Carys started pet sitting, she didn\'t just earn money (although she does now have $759 in a retirement savings account that could become over $100,000 by the time she needs it).

She’s also developing initiative, follow-through, boundary setting, and client communication skills that many adults find difficult.

This episode reveals why ages 8-12 represent a unique window for developing real-world capabilities through meaningful work. You\'ll discover how kid businesses naturally teach the life skills parents spend years trying to instill through chores and consequences, from morning routines and organization to persistence with difficult tasks and clear communication about capacity and needs. 
You’ll learn the practical details of supporting a young entrepreneur without taking over, addressing common concerns about safety, childhood, and academic pressure while showing how business skills actually enhance learning and development.

Questions this episode will answer:
 What age should kids start a business and why? Ages 8-12 are ideal because kids can handle real responsibility but aren\'t overwhelmed by teenage social pressures, plus adults are more patient and supportive with young entrepreneurs.
 What business skills can young kids actually develop? Taking initiative, following through on commitments, organization, client communication, boundary setting, persistence through challenges, financial planning, and so much more: all skills that develop through real work.
 How do you support a kid\'s business without taking over? Be a \"guide on the side\" by asking questions instead of giving answers, stepping in only when they hit capacity limits, and letting them learn from manageable failures.
 What types of businesses work best for kids this age? Service-based businesses with low startup costs that match kid strengths: think pet care, yard work, parent\'s helper babysitting, simple crafts, tech support for seniors, and tutoring younger kids.
Is starting a business safe for young children? Yes, with proper systems: initial parent involvement, communication protocols, schedule awareness, and safety equipment like walkie-talkies for new situations.
 How is this different from traditional chores and allowance? Kid businesses create direct feedback loops between work quality and real consequences, plus children choose their involvement level rather than having tasks imposed on them.
 What about their education and childhood play time? Business work typically takes less time than kids spend on screens, enhances academic learning through real-world application, and provides meaningful alternatives to entertainment that doesn’t require much thinking.
 How do you handle the money management aspect? Open age-appropriate bank accounts, teach about how money can grow over the long term in retirement savings accounts. Discuss values-based spending, including charitable giving and long-term goals.

Ready to help your child develop skills they’ll need in the future?

The Learning Membership helps you become the \"guide on the side\" who follows your child\'s true interests and supports them in developing the crucial capabilities they will need. 
You\'ll learn to identify the theories your child is building about the world, connect them with resources to answer their own questions, and help them solve problems that have real meaning to real people—not just assignments designed to grade performance. 

Plus, when you join the Learning Membership this year, you\'ll receive the complete Mind Your Own Business: For Kids course as a free bonus, giving you the step-by-step tools to support your child\'s entrepreneurial journey while building the future-ready skills they\'ll need regardless of the path they choose. The Learning Membership community is the only place you and your child can get support as you work through the self-paced Mind Your Own Business: For Kids course.

Sign up for the waitlist and we’ll send you an email when enrollment re-opens in a few days! 

links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/kids-starting-business

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting #KidEntrepreneur #YourParentingMojo]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Why Your 8-12 Year Old Should Start a Business And How to Support Them Without Taking Over!

What if the most powerful gift you could give your child isn\'t a college fund, but the skills to create their own income at age 10? When my daughter Carys started pet sitting, she didn\'t just earn money (although she does now have $759 in a retirement savings account that could become over $100,000 by the time she needs it).

She’s also developing initiative, follow-through, boundary setting, and client communication skills that many adults find difficult.

This episode reveals why ages 8-12 represent a unique window for developing real-world capabilities through meaningful work. You\'ll discover how kid businesses naturally teach the life skills parents spend years trying to instill through chores and consequences, from morning routines and organization to persistence with difficult tasks and clear communication about capacity and needs. 
You’ll learn the practical details of supporting a young entrepreneur without taking over, addressing common concerns about safety, childhood, and academic pressure while showing how business skills actually enhance learning and development.

Questions this episode will answer:
 What age should kids start a business and why? Ages 8-12 are ideal because kids can handle real responsibility but aren\'t overwhelmed by teenage social pressures, plus adults are more patient and supportive with young entrepreneurs.
 What business skills can young kids actually develop? Taking initiative, following through on commitments, organization, client communication, boundary setting, persistence through challenges, financial planning, and so much more: all skills that develop through real work.
 How do you support a kid\'s business without taking over? Be a \"guide on the side\" by asking questions instead of giving answers, stepping in only when they hit capacity limits, and letting them learn from manageable failures.
 What types of businesses work best for kids this age? Service-based businesses with low startup costs that match kid strengths: think pet care, yard work, parent\'s helper babysitting, simple crafts, tech support for seniors, and tutoring younger kids.
Is starting a business safe for young children? Yes, with proper systems: initial parent involvement, communication protocols, schedule awareness, and safety equipment like walkie-talkies for new situations.
 How is this different from traditional chores and allowance? Kid businesses create direct feedback loops between work quality and real consequences, plus children choose their involvement level rather than having tasks imposed on them.
 What about their education and childhood play time? Business work typically takes less time than kids spend on screens, enhances academic learning through real-world application, and provides meaningful alternatives to entertainment that doesn’t require much thinking.
 How do you handle the money management aspect? Open age-appropriate bank accounts, teach about how money can grow over the long term in retirement savings accounts. Discuss values-based spending, including charitable giving and long-term goals.

Ready to help your child develop skills they’ll need in the future?

The Learning Membership helps you become the \"guide on the side\" who follows your child\'s true interests and supports them in developing the crucial capabilities they will need. 
You\'ll learn to identify the theories your child is building about the world, connect them with resources to answer their own questions, and help them solve problems that have real meaning to real people—not just assignments designed to grade performance. 

Plus, when you join the Learning Membership this year, you\'ll receive the complete Mind Your Own Business: For Kids course as a free bonus, giving you the step-by-step tools to support your child\'s entrepreneurial journey while building the future-ready skills they\'ll need regardless of the path they choose. The Learning Membership community is the only place you and your child can get support as you work through the self-paced Mind Your Own Business: For Kids course.

Sign up for the waitlist and we’ll send you an email when enrollment re-opens in a few days! 

links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/kids-starting-business

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting #KidEntrepreneur #YourParentingMojo]]></description>
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<title >Episode Summary 02: The Anxious Generation: What Parents Need to Know</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/episode-summary-02-the-anxious-generation-what-parents-need-to-know-1788573898/33030315</link>
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<pubDate >Sun, 27 Jul 2025 18:00:03 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Episode Summary 02: The Anxious Generation: What Parents Need to Know

Are you worried that social media is destroying your teen\'s mental health? You\'re not alone. Jonathan Haidt\'s bestselling book The Anxious Generation has parents everywhere wondering if smartphones are rewiring their kids\' brains and creating a mental health crisis. But before you rush to ban your teen\'s phone, you need to hear what the research actually shows.

This summary episode brings together all the key insights from our 4-part series examining The Anxious Generation. We take a deep dive into the data behind the teen mental health crisis claims, giving you the essential findings in one convenient episode. You\'ll discover why those alarming statistics might not mean what you think they do, and why the correlation between social media use and teen depression is actually smaller than the correlation between eating potatoes and teen wellbeing.

We\'ll explore what really drives teen mental health struggles, from family relationships to academic pressure, and why control-based approaches like phone bans often backfire, pushing our kids further away when they need us most.

Questions This Episode Will Answer
️ Is there really a teen mental health crisis caused by social media? The dramatic statistics may reflect better screening and diagnosis rather than new cases caused by technology.
️ Does social media actually cause teen depression and anxiety? Research shows the correlation is smaller than that between eating potatoes and teen wellbeing, explaining less than 1% of variance.
️ Should parents ban phones at school to help kids focus? Academic declines are tiny and international data doesn\'t support the phone-blame theory.
️ Will banning my teen\'s phone at home solve their mental health problems? Control-based approaches often backfire and damage the parent-child relationship.
️ What affects teen mental health more than social media? Family relationships, academic pressure, sleep, economic stress, and school environment have much bigger impacts.
️ How can I help my teen with technology without taking it away? Focus on connection, listen more, work together on limits, and address bigger stressors.
️ Why do teens turn to their phones so much? Phones provide autonomy, connection, and relevance that teens often don\'t find elsewhere.
️ What do teens who self-harm actually say about social media? Many feel frustrated by attempts to blame social media and see the narrative as wrong and unhelpful.
️ How can I create healthy technology habits without damaging trust? Include your teen in creating rules, focus on relationship building, and address underlying needs.
️ What should I do if I\'m worried about my teen\'s phone use? Look at the whole picture, build connections through listening, and work together on solutions.

What You\'ll Learn in This Episode
 Why the \"hockey stick\" graphs showing teen mental health decline might be misleading, and what factors like better screening and diagnostic changes actually explain
 The surprising truth about social media research - including why studies showing harm have major flaws and why effect sizes are incredibly small
 What the international data really shows about teen mental health across countries with similar smartphone adoption rates
 Why family relationships, not screen time, are the strongest predictor of teen wellbeing according to emergency room data
 How control-based approaches like phone bans create sneaking, secrecy, and damaged trust instead of healthier habits
 The real reasons teens turn to phones - and how to address underlying needs for autonomy, connection, and relevance
 Evidence-based strategies for supporting teen mental health that focus on connection over control
 Why different communities experience teen distress differently, and how this affects our understanding of social media\'s impact
 How to have technology conversations with your teen that build trust rather than create power struggles
 Practical approaches for creating compelling offline experiences and supporting your teen\'s individual needs

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/anxious-generation-summary

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting #AnxiousGeneration #teenmentalhealth]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Episode Summary 02: The Anxious Generation: What Parents Need to Know

Are you worried that social media is destroying your teen\'s mental health? You\'re not alone. Jonathan Haidt\'s bestselling book The Anxious Generation has parents everywhere wondering if smartphones are rewiring their kids\' brains and creating a mental health crisis. But before you rush to ban your teen\'s phone, you need to hear what the research actually shows.

This summary episode brings together all the key insights from our 4-part series examining The Anxious Generation. We take a deep dive into the data behind the teen mental health crisis claims, giving you the essential findings in one convenient episode. You\'ll discover why those alarming statistics might not mean what you think they do, and why the correlation between social media use and teen depression is actually smaller than the correlation between eating potatoes and teen wellbeing.

We\'ll explore what really drives teen mental health struggles, from family relationships to academic pressure, and why control-based approaches like phone bans often backfire, pushing our kids further away when they need us most.

Questions This Episode Will Answer
️ Is there really a teen mental health crisis caused by social media? The dramatic statistics may reflect better screening and diagnosis rather than new cases caused by technology.
️ Does social media actually cause teen depression and anxiety? Research shows the correlation is smaller than that between eating potatoes and teen wellbeing, explaining less than 1% of variance.
️ Should parents ban phones at school to help kids focus? Academic declines are tiny and international data doesn\'t support the phone-blame theory.
️ Will banning my teen\'s phone at home solve their mental health problems? Control-based approaches often backfire and damage the parent-child relationship.
️ What affects teen mental health more than social media? Family relationships, academic pressure, sleep, economic stress, and school environment have much bigger impacts.
️ How can I help my teen with technology without taking it away? Focus on connection, listen more, work together on limits, and address bigger stressors.
️ Why do teens turn to their phones so much? Phones provide autonomy, connection, and relevance that teens often don\'t find elsewhere.
️ What do teens who self-harm actually say about social media? Many feel frustrated by attempts to blame social media and see the narrative as wrong and unhelpful.
️ How can I create healthy technology habits without damaging trust? Include your teen in creating rules, focus on relationship building, and address underlying needs.
️ What should I do if I\'m worried about my teen\'s phone use? Look at the whole picture, build connections through listening, and work together on solutions.

What You\'ll Learn in This Episode
 Why the \"hockey stick\" graphs showing teen mental health decline might be misleading, and what factors like better screening and diagnostic changes actually explain
 The surprising truth about social media research - including why studies showing harm have major flaws and why effect sizes are incredibly small
 What the international data really shows about teen mental health across countries with similar smartphone adoption rates
 Why family relationships, not screen time, are the strongest predictor of teen wellbeing according to emergency room data
 How control-based approaches like phone bans create sneaking, secrecy, and damaged trust instead of healthier habits
 The real reasons teens turn to phones - and how to address underlying needs for autonomy, connection, and relevance
 Evidence-based strategies for supporting teen mental health that focus on connection over control
 Why different communities experience teen distress differently, and how this affects our understanding of social media\'s impact
 How to have technology conversations with your teen that build trust rather than create power struggles
 Practical approaches for creating compelling offline experiences and supporting your teen\'s individual needs

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/anxious-generation-summary

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting #AnxiousGeneration #teenmentalhealth]]></description>
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<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
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<title >The Anxious Generation Review Part 4 Should we ban cell phones at home?</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/the-anxious-generation-review-part-4-should-we-ban-cell-phones-at-home-1788573898/33030316</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583520</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 20 Jul 2025 18:01:01 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[The Anxious Generation Review Part 4 Should we ban cell phones at home?

In Part 1, we looked at the evidence for the teen \'mental health crisis.\'
In Part 2, we reviewed the evidence for whether social media is causing the so-called \'teen mental health crisis.
In Part 3, we began looking at what to do about the effects of phones on kids - starting with school cell phone bans.

If you\'ve read The Anxious Generation or heard about Dr. Jean Twenge\'s forthcoming book 10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World, you might be wondering whether it\'s time to implement strict family phone rules and teenage social media limits in your home. These digital parenting experts promise clear solutions: you\'re in charge, no phones in bedrooms, no social media until 16. But what happens when these teenage phone rules meet the reality of family life?

In this final episode of our Anxious Generation series, we explore why traditional approaches to limit social media time often backfire spectacularly - and what effective digital parenting looks like instead. You\'ll discover why rigid teenage mobile phone rules can actually push kids further away from you, how punishment-based approaches to social media teens mirror the failed DARE program, and why the child who follows rules perfectly at home might be the one taking bigger risks when they\'re finally on their own. We\'ll also share practical, relationship-based alternatives that help you address real concerns about teenage social media use while building trust and connection with your child.

Questions this episode will answer
 How do you set social media limits with your teen? Focus on collaborative conversations about how technology affects them, rather than imposing rigid teenage social media limits without their input.

 Should social media be limited for teens? Blanket restrictions often backfire; effective digital parenting involves understanding individual needs and working together on healthy boundaries.

 How to limit cellphone use for teenager without damaging trust? Use connection-first approaches that explore their experiences rather than immediately jumping to restrictive family phone rules.

 How much time should a teenager spend on their phone? The answer varies by individual; focus on how social media affects your teen rather than arbitrary time limits.

 How to stop teenage phone addiction using collaborative methods? Address underlying needs that drive excessive use while maintaining open dialogue about concerning content and working together on solutions.

 Why is it important for parents to guide children on the internet? Teens internet safety requires ongoing conversation and support, not just restrictions, to help them navigate digital challenges independently.

 Should parents have control over their child\'s social media? Effective parenting social media approaches balance safety concerns with respecting teens\' growing autonomy and need for peer connection.

What you\'ll learn in this episode
 Why traditional family phone rules and \"you\'re in charge\" digital parenting approaches often strengthen the very behaviors you\'re trying to eliminate

 The hidden parallels between attempts to limit social media usage and failed drug prevention programs like DARE - and what this means for your family

 How to recognize when your teen\'s social media use is a coping mechanism for other struggles, and what to address instead of just restricting time

 Practical strategies for creating meaningful offline experiences that genuinely compete with digital entertainment, addressing core questions about how much time should a teenager spend on their phone
Real conversation scripts for discussing teenage social media use with tweens, teens, neurodivergent children, and kids who may be experiencing social media-related harm

 Why some children need social media access for mental health support, and how to balance teens internet safety with connection to vital communities

 Evidence-based approaches to parenting social media that build trust while addressing legitimate safety concerns about teenage social media use

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/should-parents-ban-smartphones-at-home

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting #AnxiousGeneration #teenmentalhealth]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[The Anxious Generation Review Part 4 Should we ban cell phones at home?

In Part 1, we looked at the evidence for the teen \'mental health crisis.\'
In Part 2, we reviewed the evidence for whether social media is causing the so-called \'teen mental health crisis.
In Part 3, we began looking at what to do about the effects of phones on kids - starting with school cell phone bans.

If you\'ve read The Anxious Generation or heard about Dr. Jean Twenge\'s forthcoming book 10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World, you might be wondering whether it\'s time to implement strict family phone rules and teenage social media limits in your home. These digital parenting experts promise clear solutions: you\'re in charge, no phones in bedrooms, no social media until 16. But what happens when these teenage phone rules meet the reality of family life?

In this final episode of our Anxious Generation series, we explore why traditional approaches to limit social media time often backfire spectacularly - and what effective digital parenting looks like instead. You\'ll discover why rigid teenage mobile phone rules can actually push kids further away from you, how punishment-based approaches to social media teens mirror the failed DARE program, and why the child who follows rules perfectly at home might be the one taking bigger risks when they\'re finally on their own. We\'ll also share practical, relationship-based alternatives that help you address real concerns about teenage social media use while building trust and connection with your child.

Questions this episode will answer
 How do you set social media limits with your teen? Focus on collaborative conversations about how technology affects them, rather than imposing rigid teenage social media limits without their input.

 Should social media be limited for teens? Blanket restrictions often backfire; effective digital parenting involves understanding individual needs and working together on healthy boundaries.

 How to limit cellphone use for teenager without damaging trust? Use connection-first approaches that explore their experiences rather than immediately jumping to restrictive family phone rules.

 How much time should a teenager spend on their phone? The answer varies by individual; focus on how social media affects your teen rather than arbitrary time limits.

 How to stop teenage phone addiction using collaborative methods? Address underlying needs that drive excessive use while maintaining open dialogue about concerning content and working together on solutions.

 Why is it important for parents to guide children on the internet? Teens internet safety requires ongoing conversation and support, not just restrictions, to help them navigate digital challenges independently.

 Should parents have control over their child\'s social media? Effective parenting social media approaches balance safety concerns with respecting teens\' growing autonomy and need for peer connection.

What you\'ll learn in this episode
 Why traditional family phone rules and \"you\'re in charge\" digital parenting approaches often strengthen the very behaviors you\'re trying to eliminate

 The hidden parallels between attempts to limit social media usage and failed drug prevention programs like DARE - and what this means for your family

 How to recognize when your teen\'s social media use is a coping mechanism for other struggles, and what to address instead of just restricting time

 Practical strategies for creating meaningful offline experiences that genuinely compete with digital entertainment, addressing core questions about how much time should a teenager spend on their phone
Real conversation scripts for discussing teenage social media use with tweens, teens, neurodivergent children, and kids who may be experiencing social media-related harm

 Why some children need social media access for mental health support, and how to balance teens internet safety with connection to vital communities

 Evidence-based approaches to parenting social media that build trust while addressing legitimate safety concerns about teenage social media use

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/should-parents-ban-smartphones-at-home

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting #AnxiousGeneration #teenmentalhealth]]></description>
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<itunes:duration >2061</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
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<title >The Anxious Generation Review Part 3 Should we ban cell phones in school?</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/the-anxious-generation-review-part-3-should-we-ban-cell-phones-in-school-1788573898/33030317</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583528</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 13 Jul 2025 18:00:42 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[The Anxious Generation Review Part 3 Should we ban cell phones in school?

This is the third in our series of episodes on Jonathan Haidt\'s book The Anxious Generation.
In Part 1, we looked at the evidence for the teen \'mental health crisis.\'
In Part 2, we reviewed the evidence for whether social media is causing the so-called \'teen mental health crisis.

In this episode, we begin looking at what to do about the effects of phones on kids - starting with school cell phone bans.

Phone bans are spreading like wildfire across America, with 21 states either studying or already enforcing restrictions, up from none just a few years ago. But before you advocate for - or against - a ban at your child\'s school, you need to hear what the research actually reveals. This episode examines real studies from Denmark, England, and Hungary, plus the eye-opening results from schools using those tamper-proof Yondr pouches that promise to solve everything.

You\'ll discover why the \"golden age\" of unsupervised childhood play that experts want us to return to wasn\'t actually golden for most kids. More importantly, you\'ll learn what\'s really driving students to their phones: unmet needs for choice, agency, and genuine connection. Through a fascinating deep-dive into one teacher\'s blog post about his school\'s phone ban, you\'ll see how current approaches may be missing the point entirely, and what students themselves say would actually help them engage more in school.

Which states are banning cell phones in schools? 21 states are currently studying or have already enforced cell phone bans, including Florida, Louisiana, Virginia, Indiana, Oklahoma, North Dakota, and New York.

Are cell phone bans in schools effective for improving academic performance? Research shows mixed results with only tiny improvements on test scores, and most studies don\'t control for other factors that could explain the changes.

Does banning phones in school improve students\' mental health? Studies from multiple countries found no significant improvements in student anxiety, depression, or overall wellbeing from cell phone restrictions.

Are cell phone bans in schools a good idea? The evidence suggests that school cell phone bans address symptoms rather than root causes - students turn to phones because their needs for autonomy and connection aren\'t being met.

What happens when schools try to enforce cell phones being banned in schools? Students find creative workarounds: stabbing through security pouches, buying unlock magnets, bringing decoy phones, and creating underground phone-sharing economies.

Why do students want their phones during school hours? Research shows students use phones to meet basic psychological needs for choice, agency, and genuine connection that traditional classrooms often fail to provide.

What you\'ll learn in this episode:
 The real data on school cell phone ban effectiveness - examining studies from Denmark, England, Hungary, and the U.S. that reveal surprising results about academic and mental health outcomes
Which states are leading the cell phone ban movement - a breakdown of the 21 states implementing or studying restrictions, from Florida\'s pioneering ban to New York\'s upcoming policies
 Why current approaches to cell phones being banned in schools may backfire - discover how students circumvent Yondr pouches and other enforcement methods, and what this reveals about their underlying needs
 The hidden problems with returning to \"phone-free\" childhood - learn why the idealized past of unsupervised play wasn\'t accessible to all children, especially girls and marginalized communities
 What students actually need to engage in school - research-backed insights into the real factors that improve student wellbeing and academic performance beyond device restrictions
A better approach than outright bans - explore how involving students in creating technology agreements can build trust and address root causes rather than just symptoms

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/anxious-generation-part-3-should-we-ban-phones-in-school

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting #AnxiousGeneration #teenmentalhealth]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[The Anxious Generation Review Part 3 Should we ban cell phones in school?

This is the third in our series of episodes on Jonathan Haidt\'s book The Anxious Generation.
In Part 1, we looked at the evidence for the teen \'mental health crisis.\'
In Part 2, we reviewed the evidence for whether social media is causing the so-called \'teen mental health crisis.

In this episode, we begin looking at what to do about the effects of phones on kids - starting with school cell phone bans.

Phone bans are spreading like wildfire across America, with 21 states either studying or already enforcing restrictions, up from none just a few years ago. But before you advocate for - or against - a ban at your child\'s school, you need to hear what the research actually reveals. This episode examines real studies from Denmark, England, and Hungary, plus the eye-opening results from schools using those tamper-proof Yondr pouches that promise to solve everything.

You\'ll discover why the \"golden age\" of unsupervised childhood play that experts want us to return to wasn\'t actually golden for most kids. More importantly, you\'ll learn what\'s really driving students to their phones: unmet needs for choice, agency, and genuine connection. Through a fascinating deep-dive into one teacher\'s blog post about his school\'s phone ban, you\'ll see how current approaches may be missing the point entirely, and what students themselves say would actually help them engage more in school.

Which states are banning cell phones in schools? 21 states are currently studying or have already enforced cell phone bans, including Florida, Louisiana, Virginia, Indiana, Oklahoma, North Dakota, and New York.

Are cell phone bans in schools effective for improving academic performance? Research shows mixed results with only tiny improvements on test scores, and most studies don\'t control for other factors that could explain the changes.

Does banning phones in school improve students\' mental health? Studies from multiple countries found no significant improvements in student anxiety, depression, or overall wellbeing from cell phone restrictions.

Are cell phone bans in schools a good idea? The evidence suggests that school cell phone bans address symptoms rather than root causes - students turn to phones because their needs for autonomy and connection aren\'t being met.

What happens when schools try to enforce cell phones being banned in schools? Students find creative workarounds: stabbing through security pouches, buying unlock magnets, bringing decoy phones, and creating underground phone-sharing economies.

Why do students want their phones during school hours? Research shows students use phones to meet basic psychological needs for choice, agency, and genuine connection that traditional classrooms often fail to provide.

What you\'ll learn in this episode:
 The real data on school cell phone ban effectiveness - examining studies from Denmark, England, Hungary, and the U.S. that reveal surprising results about academic and mental health outcomes
Which states are leading the cell phone ban movement - a breakdown of the 21 states implementing or studying restrictions, from Florida\'s pioneering ban to New York\'s upcoming policies
 Why current approaches to cell phones being banned in schools may backfire - discover how students circumvent Yondr pouches and other enforcement methods, and what this reveals about their underlying needs
 The hidden problems with returning to \"phone-free\" childhood - learn why the idealized past of unsupervised play wasn\'t accessible to all children, especially girls and marginalized communities
 What students actually need to engage in school - research-backed insights into the real factors that improve student wellbeing and academic performance beyond device restrictions
A better approach than outright bans - explore how involving students in creating technology agreements can build trust and address root causes rather than just symptoms

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/anxious-generation-part-3-should-we-ban-phones-in-school

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting #AnxiousGeneration #teenmentalhealth]]></description>
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<itunes:duration >2776</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030317/the-anxious-generation-review-part-3-should-we-ban-cell-phones-in-school.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030317/the-anxious-generation-review-part-3-should-we-ban-cell-phones-in-school.jpg' ></itunes:image>
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<item>
<title >The Anxious Generation Review Part 2 Does Social Media Actually Cause Kids\&apos; Depression and Anxiety</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/the-anxious-generation-review-part-2-does-social-media-actually-cause-kids-depression-and-anxiety-1788573898/33030318</link>
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<pubDate >Mon, 07 Jul 2025 01:25:05 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[In Part 1 of this mini-series looking at Jonathan Haidt\'s book The Anxious Generation [insert link to part 1], we discovered that the teen mental health crisis might not be as dramatic as The Anxious Generation claims - and that changes in diagnosis and coding could be inflating the numbers. But even if we accept that teens\' struggles have increased somewhat, the next crucial question is: what\'s actually causing the change?

Jonathan Haidt is adamant that social media causes depression and anxiety in teenagers. He claims that \"dozens of experiments\" prove social media use is a CAUSE, not just a correlate, of mental health problems. But when you dig into the studies, as we do in this episode, we\'ll see that the \'causal\' data is nowhere near as strong as Haidt claims.

We\'ll examine the experimental evidence behind social media and teen mental health claims, reveal why leading researchers compare social media effects on teens to eating potatoes, and uncover what factors actually explain 99% of youth mental health outcomes. Because if we\'re going to spend time and energy helping our kids, we want to make sure we\'re spending it doing things that will actually help.

Questions This Episode Will Answer
 Does social media really cause teen depression and anxiety? Research shows correlation, not proven causation, with social media effects on teens explaining less than 1% of wellbeing - similar to the effect of eating potatoes. (Some researchers argue that this is still important enough to pay attention to - the episode explores why.)
 Why do I keep hearing that social media is harmful if the research is weak? Many (but not all) social media studies find some evidence of harm, but when you look at the methodology this isn\'t surprising - researchers do things like sending participants daily reminders that \"limiting social media is good for you,\" and then asking them how much social media they\'ve consumed and how they feel. It\'s hard to draw strong conclusions from this data!
 How can different studies on social media show opposite results? Researchers studying teen social media use can get completely different results from the same data depending on how they choose to analyze it. The episode looks at those choices - and what they mean for understanding whether social media causes kids\' depression and anxiety.
 Is limiting my teen\'s social media use actually going to help them? Current evidence suggests that some kids who use social media a lot are vulnerable to experiencing depression and anxiety, and limiting their use specifically may be protective. There is little evidence to support the idea that blanket bans on kids\' social media/smart phone usage will result in dramatic improvements in youth mental health, and focusing on issues that are more clearly connected to mental health would likely have a greater positive impact.

What You\'ll Learn in This Episode
️ How most social media research creates results that don\'t tell us what we want to know (but then reports the results as if they do)
️ How the same teen mental health data can be analyzed to support opposite conclusions about social media effects on teens
️ What family relationships, academic pressure, and economic stress reveal about the real drivers of youth mental health issues
️ How social media and teen mental health correlations explain the same amount of variance as seemingly irrelevant factors like potato consumption
️ How researcher bias and study design flaws make social media studies less reliable than parents think
️ What happens when kids who benefit from social media lose access to it
️ Why the focus on teen social media use might distract from addressing bigger factors affecting your child\'s wellbeing
️ How to evaluate social media research claims critically when making decisions about your family\'s technology use
️ What the ongoing debate between leading researchers reveals about the uncertainty in digital wellness science
️ Why blanket solutions like social media bans might miss the complex realities of teen mental health challenges

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/anxious-generation-part-2-social-media-research

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[In Part 1 of this mini-series looking at Jonathan Haidt\'s book The Anxious Generation [insert link to part 1], we discovered that the teen mental health crisis might not be as dramatic as The Anxious Generation claims - and that changes in diagnosis and coding could be inflating the numbers. But even if we accept that teens\' struggles have increased somewhat, the next crucial question is: what\'s actually causing the change?

Jonathan Haidt is adamant that social media causes depression and anxiety in teenagers. He claims that \"dozens of experiments\" prove social media use is a CAUSE, not just a correlate, of mental health problems. But when you dig into the studies, as we do in this episode, we\'ll see that the \'causal\' data is nowhere near as strong as Haidt claims.

We\'ll examine the experimental evidence behind social media and teen mental health claims, reveal why leading researchers compare social media effects on teens to eating potatoes, and uncover what factors actually explain 99% of youth mental health outcomes. Because if we\'re going to spend time and energy helping our kids, we want to make sure we\'re spending it doing things that will actually help.

Questions This Episode Will Answer
 Does social media really cause teen depression and anxiety? Research shows correlation, not proven causation, with social media effects on teens explaining less than 1% of wellbeing - similar to the effect of eating potatoes. (Some researchers argue that this is still important enough to pay attention to - the episode explores why.)
 Why do I keep hearing that social media is harmful if the research is weak? Many (but not all) social media studies find some evidence of harm, but when you look at the methodology this isn\'t surprising - researchers do things like sending participants daily reminders that \"limiting social media is good for you,\" and then asking them how much social media they\'ve consumed and how they feel. It\'s hard to draw strong conclusions from this data!
 How can different studies on social media show opposite results? Researchers studying teen social media use can get completely different results from the same data depending on how they choose to analyze it. The episode looks at those choices - and what they mean for understanding whether social media causes kids\' depression and anxiety.
 Is limiting my teen\'s social media use actually going to help them? Current evidence suggests that some kids who use social media a lot are vulnerable to experiencing depression and anxiety, and limiting their use specifically may be protective. There is little evidence to support the idea that blanket bans on kids\' social media/smart phone usage will result in dramatic improvements in youth mental health, and focusing on issues that are more clearly connected to mental health would likely have a greater positive impact.

What You\'ll Learn in This Episode
️ How most social media research creates results that don\'t tell us what we want to know (but then reports the results as if they do)
️ How the same teen mental health data can be analyzed to support opposite conclusions about social media effects on teens
️ What family relationships, academic pressure, and economic stress reveal about the real drivers of youth mental health issues
️ How social media and teen mental health correlations explain the same amount of variance as seemingly irrelevant factors like potato consumption
️ How researcher bias and study design flaws make social media studies less reliable than parents think
️ What happens when kids who benefit from social media lose access to it
️ Why the focus on teen social media use might distract from addressing bigger factors affecting your child\'s wellbeing
️ How to evaluate social media research claims critically when making decisions about your family\'s technology use
️ What the ongoing debate between leading researchers reveals about the uncertainty in digital wellness science
️ Why blanket solutions like social media bans might miss the complex realities of teen mental health challenges

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/anxious-generation-part-2-social-media-research

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/86ff7c48b341379e6729189a37b39b73.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='52150000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3468</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030318/the-anxious-generation-review-part-2-does-social-media-actually-cause-kids-depression-and-anxiety.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030318/the-anxious-generation-review-part-2-does-social-media-actually-cause-kids-depression-and-anxiety.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >The Anxious Generation Review Part 1 Is There Really a Mental Health Crisis in the U S ?</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/the-anxious-generation-review-part-1-is-there-really-a-mental-health-crisis-in-the-u-s-1788573898/33030319</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583509</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 29 Jun 2025 18:00:53 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[The Anxious Generation Review Part 1 Is There Really a Mental Health Crisis in the U S ?

Are we really facing an unprecedented mental health crisis in America, or have we been misreading the data? As parents everywhere grapple with The Anxious Generation\'s claims that smartphones are rewiring our children\'s brains, this episode takes a closer look at what the research actually shows about youth mental health trends.

If you\'ve read the book, you\'ve seen those alarming hockey-stick graphs showing dramatic increases in teen depression and anxiety in teenagers. But what if those \"surges\" aren\'t quite what they seem? What if changes in how we diagnose and track mental health conditions are inflating the crisis? And what happens when a community with everything that should protect kids - tight social bonds, involved parents, shared values - still experiences devastating teen suicide rates?

This deep-dive analysis examines the evidence behind Gen Z mental health claims, investigates whether youth depression statistics show the dramatic surge described in The Anxious Generation, and asks the crucial question: are we fighting the right battle when it comes to protecting our children\'s wellbeing?

Questions This Episode Will Answer
️ Is there really a mental health crisis in America? While youth mental health challenges are real, the \"crisis\" narrative may be overblown due to changes in diagnostic practices and data collection methods since 2010.
️When did the mental health crisis start according to The Anxious Generation? Haidt claims the crisis began between 2010-2015 with smartphone adoption, but the data shows more complex patterns that predate this timeline.
️What are the signs of youth depression and anxiety that parents should watch for? The episode explores how reported signs of youth depression and anxiety have increased, but examines whether this reflects actual increases or better identification and reporting. We look at the classic signs of depression and anxiety in teens, as well as what to look for in teens who might \'seem fine.\'
️How many teens have mental health issues compared to previous generations? Teen mental health statistics show increases, but when examined closely, many changes are smaller than dramatic graphs suggest.
️What causes anxiety in teenagers beyond social media? Research shows that other factors may explain larger portions of youth mental health struggles than screen time.

What You\'ll Learn in This Episode
How changes in diagnostic criteria and healthcare access may have inflated mental health crisis statistics since 2015
Why teen suicide rates show different patterns than depression rates, and what this means for understanding youth struggles
The real story behind those alarming youth depression statistics and why context matters when interpreting data
How academic pressure in high-achieving communities can drive teen mental health problems even without social media
Why focusing solely on anxiety in teenagers related to screens might miss bigger factors affecting Gen Z mental health
What signs of youth depression actually tell us about the scope and causes of teen mental health challenges
How different communities experience and conceptualize mental health struggles in ways that challenge universal assumptions
Why the timeline of the supposed mental health crisis in the U.S. and elsewhere doesn\'t align with smartphone adoption as clearly as The Anxious Generation claims

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com//anxious-generation-review-mental-health-crisis-america

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting #anxiety #healthcrisis #teensdespression #socailmedia]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[The Anxious Generation Review Part 1 Is There Really a Mental Health Crisis in the U S ?

Are we really facing an unprecedented mental health crisis in America, or have we been misreading the data? As parents everywhere grapple with The Anxious Generation\'s claims that smartphones are rewiring our children\'s brains, this episode takes a closer look at what the research actually shows about youth mental health trends.

If you\'ve read the book, you\'ve seen those alarming hockey-stick graphs showing dramatic increases in teen depression and anxiety in teenagers. But what if those \"surges\" aren\'t quite what they seem? What if changes in how we diagnose and track mental health conditions are inflating the crisis? And what happens when a community with everything that should protect kids - tight social bonds, involved parents, shared values - still experiences devastating teen suicide rates?

This deep-dive analysis examines the evidence behind Gen Z mental health claims, investigates whether youth depression statistics show the dramatic surge described in The Anxious Generation, and asks the crucial question: are we fighting the right battle when it comes to protecting our children\'s wellbeing?

Questions This Episode Will Answer
️ Is there really a mental health crisis in America? While youth mental health challenges are real, the \"crisis\" narrative may be overblown due to changes in diagnostic practices and data collection methods since 2010.
️When did the mental health crisis start according to The Anxious Generation? Haidt claims the crisis began between 2010-2015 with smartphone adoption, but the data shows more complex patterns that predate this timeline.
️What are the signs of youth depression and anxiety that parents should watch for? The episode explores how reported signs of youth depression and anxiety have increased, but examines whether this reflects actual increases or better identification and reporting. We look at the classic signs of depression and anxiety in teens, as well as what to look for in teens who might \'seem fine.\'
️How many teens have mental health issues compared to previous generations? Teen mental health statistics show increases, but when examined closely, many changes are smaller than dramatic graphs suggest.
️What causes anxiety in teenagers beyond social media? Research shows that other factors may explain larger portions of youth mental health struggles than screen time.

What You\'ll Learn in This Episode
How changes in diagnostic criteria and healthcare access may have inflated mental health crisis statistics since 2015
Why teen suicide rates show different patterns than depression rates, and what this means for understanding youth struggles
The real story behind those alarming youth depression statistics and why context matters when interpreting data
How academic pressure in high-achieving communities can drive teen mental health problems even without social media
Why focusing solely on anxiety in teenagers related to screens might miss bigger factors affecting Gen Z mental health
What signs of youth depression actually tell us about the scope and causes of teen mental health challenges
How different communities experience and conceptualize mental health struggles in ways that challenge universal assumptions
Why the timeline of the supposed mental health crisis in the U.S. and elsewhere doesn\'t align with smartphone adoption as clearly as The Anxious Generation claims

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com//anxious-generation-review-mental-health-crisis-america

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting #anxiety #healthcrisis #teensdespression #socailmedia]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/c11a04dfcb6503b195e10a8cfb5921e2.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='52430000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3435</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030319/the-anxious-generation-review-part-1-is-there-really-a-mental-health-crisis-in-the-u-s.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030319/the-anxious-generation-review-part-1-is-there-really-a-mental-health-crisis-in-the-u-s.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >My Parenting Feels Off Track Reparenting Helps You Find Your Way Back</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/my-parenting-feels-off-track-reparenting-helps-you-find-your-way-back-1788573898/33030320</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583494</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 25 May 2025 18:00:49 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[My Parenting Feels Off Track Reparenting Helps You Find Your Way Back

Do you ever feel like your parenting is completely off track from where you want it to be? You promise yourself you won\'t yell, then find yourself yelling at your kids before breakfast.

You intend to be patient and present, but end up getting distracted by your phone, or snapping at your child. This disconnect between your parenting intentions and reality can leave you feeling guilty, ashamed, and afraid that you\'re passing on intergenerational trauma despite your best efforts.

In this episode, we reveal the origins of our harsh inner critic and how cultural expectations set parents up for struggle. You\'ll discover practical reparenting techniques, step-by-step self-compassion exercises, and how recognizing your emotional triggers can transform your parenting journey. 

This isn\'t about perfect parenting - it\'s about healing your own childhood wounds through a process called reparenting, so you can break intergenerational patterns and build the connection with your child you\'ve always wanted.

Questions This Episode Will Answer
 How can I identify and manage my emotional triggers in parenting?
 How does my inner critic affect my ability to parent effectively?
 What is reparenting and how can it help my relationship with my child?
 How do I break intergenerational trauma patterns in my parenting?
 Can self-compassion exercises really help when I\'m triggered with my kids?

What You\'ll Learn in This Episode
️ How to identify your emotional triggers in parenting and their connection to intergenerational trauma
️ A practical three-step self-compassion exercise for managing triggered moments with your children
️ The complete five-step reparenting process to heal your own childhood wounds
️ How schema therapy concepts explain the origins of your parenting triggers
️ Why intergenerational trauma persists and specific practices to break the cycle
️ Step-by-step self-compassion exercises you can practice daily to build emotional resilience
️ How traditional parenting tools can unintentionally continue the cycle of intergenerational trauma
️ Practical reparenting techniques to meet both your needs and your child\'s needs simultaneously

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/parenting-off-track-reparenting-self-compassion

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[My Parenting Feels Off Track Reparenting Helps You Find Your Way Back

Do you ever feel like your parenting is completely off track from where you want it to be? You promise yourself you won\'t yell, then find yourself yelling at your kids before breakfast.

You intend to be patient and present, but end up getting distracted by your phone, or snapping at your child. This disconnect between your parenting intentions and reality can leave you feeling guilty, ashamed, and afraid that you\'re passing on intergenerational trauma despite your best efforts.

In this episode, we reveal the origins of our harsh inner critic and how cultural expectations set parents up for struggle. You\'ll discover practical reparenting techniques, step-by-step self-compassion exercises, and how recognizing your emotional triggers can transform your parenting journey. 

This isn\'t about perfect parenting - it\'s about healing your own childhood wounds through a process called reparenting, so you can break intergenerational patterns and build the connection with your child you\'ve always wanted.

Questions This Episode Will Answer
 How can I identify and manage my emotional triggers in parenting?
 How does my inner critic affect my ability to parent effectively?
 What is reparenting and how can it help my relationship with my child?
 How do I break intergenerational trauma patterns in my parenting?
 Can self-compassion exercises really help when I\'m triggered with my kids?

What You\'ll Learn in This Episode
️ How to identify your emotional triggers in parenting and their connection to intergenerational trauma
️ A practical three-step self-compassion exercise for managing triggered moments with your children
️ The complete five-step reparenting process to heal your own childhood wounds
️ How schema therapy concepts explain the origins of your parenting triggers
️ Why intergenerational trauma persists and specific practices to break the cycle
️ Step-by-step self-compassion exercises you can practice daily to build emotional resilience
️ How traditional parenting tools can unintentionally continue the cycle of intergenerational trauma
️ Practical reparenting techniques to meet both your needs and your child\'s needs simultaneously

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/parenting-off-track-reparenting-self-compassion

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/0bcf7af45462c00f7505a453d1897951.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='40740000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2669</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030320/my-parenting-feels-off-track-reparenting-helps-you-find-your-way-back.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030320/my-parenting-feels-off-track-reparenting-helps-you-find-your-way-back.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Finding Your Parenting Village How Community Support Changes Everything at Home</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/finding-your-parenting-village-how-community-support-changes-everything-at-home-1788573898/33030321</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583516</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 18 May 2025 18:00:43 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Finding Your Parenting Village How Community Support Changes Everything at Home

Are you tired of facing family challenges alone? In this powerful episode, we witness the transformative journey of two parents who discovered that joining a parenting support group can change everything at home.
Parenting wasn\'t meant to be a solo journey. When sleep deprivation, communication struggles with partners, and children\'s big emotions become overwhelming family challenges, the right parenting support group makes all the difference. This episode shows how connecting with a supportive parenting community helped transform 45-minute tantrums into 10-minute conversations, restore sleep after years of exhaustion, and address family communication challenges in ways that parenting books alone never could.
Now, more than ever, we need each other. In this re-released episode from two years ago, you\'ll hear authentic stories that will inspire you to find your own parenting support group and experience the profound changes that happen when parents help each other overcome family challenges.

Questions This Episode Will Answer
- How can I find a parenting support group when I don\'t have family nearby?
Distance from extended family doesn\'t mean you must face family challenges alone. This episode demonstrates how intentional parenting support groups can provide even more targeted help than your actual family. You\'ll learn how to connect with parents who share your values and family challenges, not just parents who happen to live close to you. These parenting support groups create meaningful connections that provide practical help, emotional support, and accountability.
- How do I find a parenting support group with members who won\'t judge me?
Finding non-judgmental parenting support begins with seeking communities built on mutual understanding rather than competition. This episode shows how specialized parenting support groups create safe spaces where you can share family challenges honestly - even showing up in tears or looking completely exhausted - without fear of judgment.
- Can a parenting support group really help with my child\'s emotional outbursts?
Yes! When parents learn tools like radical listening through supportive parenting groups, children\'s emotional regulation challenges improve dramatically. This episode demonstrates how one parent reduced tantrum duration from 45 minutes to just 10 minutes by applying techniques learned in her parenting support group.
- How do I balance everyone\'s needs when family challenges leave me exhausted?
Meeting everyone\'s needs begins with recognizing your own. This episode reveals how a parenting support group provides permission to prioritize self-care (especially sleep) as the foundation for better addressing your family challenges, including your children\'s and partner\'s needs.
- Can a parenting support group help with partner communication challenges?
Absolutely. You\'ll hear how a parenting support group helped identify and address difficult family communication patterns where one partner was agreeing to things they didn\'t want just to end discussions. Now the partners have an effective framework for honestly communicating about family challenges and needs.
- What\'s more valuable for addressing family challenges - parenting courses or a parenting support group?
While quality parenting information matters, this episode reveals how the combination of both creates the most powerful approach to family challenges. You\'ll hear how structured parenting support groups help you actually implement tools you learn, rather than just collecting more information about family challenges.

What You\'ll Learn in This Episode
- Practical ways to find and build your own parenting support group
- How parenting support groups transform sleep challenges through accountability and permission for self-care
- The power of techniques learned in parenting support groups to dramatically reduce children\'s emotional outbursts
- Methods for improving partner communication about parenting decisions and family challenges
- Why vulnerability in parenting support groups creates stronger families
- How to move beyond parenting advice to create lasting transformation of family challenges
- What happens when parenting support group members invest in each other\'s success rather than competing
- The surprising ways parenting support groups free up energy for better addressing family challenges
- Why small, intentional parenting support groups create deeper change than large forums
- How to recognize when you need support for family challenges and actually receive it effectively

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/parenting-community-support-family-transformation

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Finding Your Parenting Village How Community Support Changes Everything at Home

Are you tired of facing family challenges alone? In this powerful episode, we witness the transformative journey of two parents who discovered that joining a parenting support group can change everything at home.
Parenting wasn\'t meant to be a solo journey. When sleep deprivation, communication struggles with partners, and children\'s big emotions become overwhelming family challenges, the right parenting support group makes all the difference. This episode shows how connecting with a supportive parenting community helped transform 45-minute tantrums into 10-minute conversations, restore sleep after years of exhaustion, and address family communication challenges in ways that parenting books alone never could.
Now, more than ever, we need each other. In this re-released episode from two years ago, you\'ll hear authentic stories that will inspire you to find your own parenting support group and experience the profound changes that happen when parents help each other overcome family challenges.

Questions This Episode Will Answer
- How can I find a parenting support group when I don\'t have family nearby?
Distance from extended family doesn\'t mean you must face family challenges alone. This episode demonstrates how intentional parenting support groups can provide even more targeted help than your actual family. You\'ll learn how to connect with parents who share your values and family challenges, not just parents who happen to live close to you. These parenting support groups create meaningful connections that provide practical help, emotional support, and accountability.
- How do I find a parenting support group with members who won\'t judge me?
Finding non-judgmental parenting support begins with seeking communities built on mutual understanding rather than competition. This episode shows how specialized parenting support groups create safe spaces where you can share family challenges honestly - even showing up in tears or looking completely exhausted - without fear of judgment.
- Can a parenting support group really help with my child\'s emotional outbursts?
Yes! When parents learn tools like radical listening through supportive parenting groups, children\'s emotional regulation challenges improve dramatically. This episode demonstrates how one parent reduced tantrum duration from 45 minutes to just 10 minutes by applying techniques learned in her parenting support group.
- How do I balance everyone\'s needs when family challenges leave me exhausted?
Meeting everyone\'s needs begins with recognizing your own. This episode reveals how a parenting support group provides permission to prioritize self-care (especially sleep) as the foundation for better addressing your family challenges, including your children\'s and partner\'s needs.
- Can a parenting support group help with partner communication challenges?
Absolutely. You\'ll hear how a parenting support group helped identify and address difficult family communication patterns where one partner was agreeing to things they didn\'t want just to end discussions. Now the partners have an effective framework for honestly communicating about family challenges and needs.
- What\'s more valuable for addressing family challenges - parenting courses or a parenting support group?
While quality parenting information matters, this episode reveals how the combination of both creates the most powerful approach to family challenges. You\'ll hear how structured parenting support groups help you actually implement tools you learn, rather than just collecting more information about family challenges.

What You\'ll Learn in This Episode
- Practical ways to find and build your own parenting support group
- How parenting support groups transform sleep challenges through accountability and permission for self-care
- The power of techniques learned in parenting support groups to dramatically reduce children\'s emotional outbursts
- Methods for improving partner communication about parenting decisions and family challenges
- Why vulnerability in parenting support groups creates stronger families
- How to move beyond parenting advice to create lasting transformation of family challenges
- What happens when parenting support group members invest in each other\'s success rather than competing
- The surprising ways parenting support groups free up energy for better addressing family challenges
- Why small, intentional parenting support groups create deeper change than large forums
- How to recognize when you need support for family challenges and actually receive it effectively

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/parenting-community-support-family-transformation

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/ab338d6268572cf2da32c1f1913adaf9.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='48930000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3206</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030321/finding-your-parenting-village-how-community-support-changes-everything-at-home.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030321/finding-your-parenting-village-how-community-support-changes-everything-at-home.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Does praise help or hurt your child? What research actually shows</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/does-praise-help-or-hurt-your-child-what-research-actually-shows-1788573898/33030322</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583522</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 11 May 2025 18:00:38 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Does praise help or hurt your child? What research actually shows

Most parents believe praise is an essential tool for raising confident, well-behaved children. We\'ve been told to \"catch them being good\" and \"focus on the positive.\" But what if our well-intentioned praise is actually functioning as a subtle form of control? What if praise isn\'t just celebrating who our children are, but secretly shaping them into who we—or society—want them to become?
In this episode, we\'ll examine how praise affects children\'s self-concept, motivation, and behavior. We\'ll explore research on praise\'s effects, reflect on our own experiences with praise growing up, and draw on philosophical ideas to understand praise as a tool of power that teaches children to internalize social norms and regulate their own behavior. We\'ll also learn new tools to create more authentic relationships with our children and helping them develop true autonomy.

Download the list of 55 Ways to Support, Encourage, and Celebrate Your Child Without Praise 

Questions This Episode Will Answer
-Is praise harmful to children?
Praise can function as a form of control, establishing a conditional relationship where your approval depends on your child\'s actions. The underlying message becomes: \"I\'m excited about you when you do what I want.\" This contradicts what children need to flourish: unconditional love and acceptance for who they are, not what they do.

-What\'s the difference between praise and appreciation?
Praise is evaluative language that judges a person\'s actions or character as \"good\" or \"bad.\" Appreciation focuses on the impact someone\'s actions had on you personally. For example, instead of \"good job setting the table,\" try \"Thank you for setting the table—I really appreciate not having to do it myself.\"

-Does praise help motivate children?
Research on praise\'s effects is mixed. Some studies suggest rewards undermine intrinsic motivation, while others indicate they can help establish habits. The more important question isn\'t whether praise works to change behavior in the short term, but what it teaches children about themselves and their worth in the long term.

-How does praise affect a child\'s development?
Praise can create dependency on external validation. Many adults who received substantial praise as children become reluctant to attempt things they aren\'t already good at for fear of not receiving praise or worse, receiving criticism. This is often where perfectionism emerges—not from high standards but from fear that without perfection, they won\'t be valued or loved.

What You\'ll Learn in This Episode
-You\'ll discover what praise actually is and recognize when you might be praising your child without realizing it. Praise includes evaluative language like \"good job,\" \"you\'re so smart,\" or \"I\'m proud of you,\" and is typically given with the intention of encouraging children to repeat behaviors.
-You\'ll explore how praise functions as more than just emotional encouragement—it operates as a form of social control. When we praise children for certain behaviors, we\'re teaching them what society values and expects, defining what\'s \"normal\" and desirable.
-You\'ll understand how children internalize our surveillance through praise. They begin monitoring themselves according to external standards rather than developing their own internal value system.
-You\'ll learn practical alternatives to praise, including genuine appreciation that acknowledges specific actions and their impact, curiosity about your child\'s experiences and perspectives, and connection based on truly seeing your child rather than evaluating their behavior or person.

Sign up for the FREE Setting (&Loving) Effective Limits workshop - https://yourparentingmojo.com/settinglimits/

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/praise-impact-child-development-research

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Does praise help or hurt your child? What research actually shows

Most parents believe praise is an essential tool for raising confident, well-behaved children. We\'ve been told to \"catch them being good\" and \"focus on the positive.\" But what if our well-intentioned praise is actually functioning as a subtle form of control? What if praise isn\'t just celebrating who our children are, but secretly shaping them into who we—or society—want them to become?
In this episode, we\'ll examine how praise affects children\'s self-concept, motivation, and behavior. We\'ll explore research on praise\'s effects, reflect on our own experiences with praise growing up, and draw on philosophical ideas to understand praise as a tool of power that teaches children to internalize social norms and regulate their own behavior. We\'ll also learn new tools to create more authentic relationships with our children and helping them develop true autonomy.

Download the list of 55 Ways to Support, Encourage, and Celebrate Your Child Without Praise 

Questions This Episode Will Answer
-Is praise harmful to children?
Praise can function as a form of control, establishing a conditional relationship where your approval depends on your child\'s actions. The underlying message becomes: \"I\'m excited about you when you do what I want.\" This contradicts what children need to flourish: unconditional love and acceptance for who they are, not what they do.

-What\'s the difference between praise and appreciation?
Praise is evaluative language that judges a person\'s actions or character as \"good\" or \"bad.\" Appreciation focuses on the impact someone\'s actions had on you personally. For example, instead of \"good job setting the table,\" try \"Thank you for setting the table—I really appreciate not having to do it myself.\"

-Does praise help motivate children?
Research on praise\'s effects is mixed. Some studies suggest rewards undermine intrinsic motivation, while others indicate they can help establish habits. The more important question isn\'t whether praise works to change behavior in the short term, but what it teaches children about themselves and their worth in the long term.

-How does praise affect a child\'s development?
Praise can create dependency on external validation. Many adults who received substantial praise as children become reluctant to attempt things they aren\'t already good at for fear of not receiving praise or worse, receiving criticism. This is often where perfectionism emerges—not from high standards but from fear that without perfection, they won\'t be valued or loved.

What You\'ll Learn in This Episode
-You\'ll discover what praise actually is and recognize when you might be praising your child without realizing it. Praise includes evaluative language like \"good job,\" \"you\'re so smart,\" or \"I\'m proud of you,\" and is typically given with the intention of encouraging children to repeat behaviors.
-You\'ll explore how praise functions as more than just emotional encouragement—it operates as a form of social control. When we praise children for certain behaviors, we\'re teaching them what society values and expects, defining what\'s \"normal\" and desirable.
-You\'ll understand how children internalize our surveillance through praise. They begin monitoring themselves according to external standards rather than developing their own internal value system.
-You\'ll learn practical alternatives to praise, including genuine appreciation that acknowledges specific actions and their impact, curiosity about your child\'s experiences and perspectives, and connection based on truly seeing your child rather than evaluating their behavior or person.

Sign up for the FREE Setting (&Loving) Effective Limits workshop - https://yourparentingmojo.com/settinglimits/

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/praise-impact-child-development-research

#fypシ゚viral #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/c91bcd8ef6700b23227d1f2145dce1f4.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='56830000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3724</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030322/does-praise-help-or-hurt-your-child-what-research-actually-shows.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030322/does-praise-help-or-hurt-your-child-what-research-actually-shows.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Gentle parenting doesn\&apos;t have to mean permissive parenting</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/gentle-parenting-doesnt-have-to-mean-permissive-parenting-1788573898/33030323</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583536</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 27 Apr 2025 17:00:55 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Gentle parenting doesn\'t have to mean permissive parenting

Is gentle parenting just permissive parenting in disguise? This episode reveals a powerful framework for meeting both your needs and your child\'s, creating cooperation without sacrificing connection.

Is gentle parenting the same as permissive parenting?
No, gentle parenting is not the same as permissive parenting. Gentle parenting focuses on meeting both the child\'s and the parent\'s needs with respect and empathy. Permissive parenting prioritizes the child\'s desires without setting appropriate boundaries or considering the parent\'s needs. Parents can be gentle without being permissive by understanding and meeting their own needs, as well as their child\'s needs. 

Why don\'t logical consequences and offering limited choices always work?
Logical consequences and offering limited choices don\'t always work because they are often strategies to control a child\'s behavior rather than addressing the underlying needs driving that behavior. When a child is acting out, they may be seeking connection, autonomy, or have other unmet needs. Logical consequences and choices don\'t meet these needs, so the behavior continues.

How can I set effective limits without sliding into permissiveness?
To set effective limits without becoming permissive, understand that your needs matter just as much as your child\'s. Identify the underlying need you\'re currently trying to meet with a limit, and identify strategies that honor both your needs and your child\'s. This prevents you from prioritizing the child\'s desires while neglecting your own needs, which is characteristic of permissive parenting.

What\'s the difference between a natural consequence and a logical consequence?
A natural consequence is what naturally occurs as a result of an action such as touching a hot stove and getting burned. A logical consequence is an action that a parent takes as a result of an action, such as taking away screen time because a child didn\'t do what they were told.

How can I meet both my needs and my child\'s needs in challenging situations?
Meeting both your needs and your child\'s needs starts with identifying the underlying needs driving the behavior in challenging situations. If a child is stalling at bedtime, they may need connection. A parent can meet this need by spending time with the child before bed, reading an extra book, or engaging in a quiet activity together. This could the child\'s need for connection, while also meeting the parent\'s need for the child to go to bed at a reasonable time.

What\'s the underlying cause of my child\'s resistance to everyday routines?
The underlying cause of a child\'s resistance to everyday routines is often an unmet need. For example, resistance to putting on shoes may stem from a need for autonomy (if the child wants to do it themselves), or connection (if they want you to do it for them). By recognizing the need, you can find ways to involve the child in the process, such as letting them choose which shoes to wear, giving them a sense of control and making the routine more cooperative.

Is there an alternative to the four traditional parenting styles?
Yes, there are alternatives to the four traditional parenting styles (neglectful, authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative). Dr. Diana Baumrind, who created the styles, also found a \'harmonious\' method where parents consider the child\'s ideas as just as important as their own, which sounds a lot like Gentle Parenting - but she decided not to research it further!

Sign up for the FREE Setting (&Loving) Effective Limits workshop - https://yourparentingmojo.com/settinglimits/

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/gentle-parenting-vs-permissive-parenting

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting #permissiveparenting]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Gentle parenting doesn\'t have to mean permissive parenting

Is gentle parenting just permissive parenting in disguise? This episode reveals a powerful framework for meeting both your needs and your child\'s, creating cooperation without sacrificing connection.

Is gentle parenting the same as permissive parenting?
No, gentle parenting is not the same as permissive parenting. Gentle parenting focuses on meeting both the child\'s and the parent\'s needs with respect and empathy. Permissive parenting prioritizes the child\'s desires without setting appropriate boundaries or considering the parent\'s needs. Parents can be gentle without being permissive by understanding and meeting their own needs, as well as their child\'s needs. 

Why don\'t logical consequences and offering limited choices always work?
Logical consequences and offering limited choices don\'t always work because they are often strategies to control a child\'s behavior rather than addressing the underlying needs driving that behavior. When a child is acting out, they may be seeking connection, autonomy, or have other unmet needs. Logical consequences and choices don\'t meet these needs, so the behavior continues.

How can I set effective limits without sliding into permissiveness?
To set effective limits without becoming permissive, understand that your needs matter just as much as your child\'s. Identify the underlying need you\'re currently trying to meet with a limit, and identify strategies that honor both your needs and your child\'s. This prevents you from prioritizing the child\'s desires while neglecting your own needs, which is characteristic of permissive parenting.

What\'s the difference between a natural consequence and a logical consequence?
A natural consequence is what naturally occurs as a result of an action such as touching a hot stove and getting burned. A logical consequence is an action that a parent takes as a result of an action, such as taking away screen time because a child didn\'t do what they were told.

How can I meet both my needs and my child\'s needs in challenging situations?
Meeting both your needs and your child\'s needs starts with identifying the underlying needs driving the behavior in challenging situations. If a child is stalling at bedtime, they may need connection. A parent can meet this need by spending time with the child before bed, reading an extra book, or engaging in a quiet activity together. This could the child\'s need for connection, while also meeting the parent\'s need for the child to go to bed at a reasonable time.

What\'s the underlying cause of my child\'s resistance to everyday routines?
The underlying cause of a child\'s resistance to everyday routines is often an unmet need. For example, resistance to putting on shoes may stem from a need for autonomy (if the child wants to do it themselves), or connection (if they want you to do it for them). By recognizing the need, you can find ways to involve the child in the process, such as letting them choose which shoes to wear, giving them a sense of control and making the routine more cooperative.

Is there an alternative to the four traditional parenting styles?
Yes, there are alternatives to the four traditional parenting styles (neglectful, authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative). Dr. Diana Baumrind, who created the styles, also found a \'harmonious\' method where parents consider the child\'s ideas as just as important as their own, which sounds a lot like Gentle Parenting - but she decided not to research it further!

Sign up for the FREE Setting (&Loving) Effective Limits workshop - https://yourparentingmojo.com/settinglimits/

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/gentle-parenting-vs-permissive-parenting

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #gentleparenting #permissiveparenting]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/6cd9568df47b637a2cb60dd7079101ca.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='44470000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2914</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030323/gentle-parenting-doesnt-have-to-mean-permissive-parenting.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030323/gentle-parenting-doesnt-have-to-mean-permissive-parenting.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Parent Conflict Over Discipline How to Get on the Same Page</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/parent-conflict-over-discipline-how-to-get-on-the-same-page-1788573898/33030324</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583538</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 20 Apr 2025 18:00:45 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Parent Conflict Over Discipline How to Get on the Same Page

\"How can we get on the same page about discipline?\" is one of the most common questions parents face. Before having kids, most couples never realize how different family backgrounds, experiences, and parenting beliefs will collide into seemingly unbridgeable differences. This episode explores practical tools to navigate these differences, from de-escalating tense moments to having productive conversations that honor both parents\' needs while creating consistency for your children.

Questions This Episode Will Answer
-Why do my partner and I have such different approaches to discipline?
Your differing approaches likely stem from your own childhood experiences, family values, and what you\'re trying to \"fix\" from your upbringing. You might also have different core needs you\'re trying to meet — one parent might prioritize structure and predictability while another focuses on emotional connection. Understanding these differences is key to finding common ground rather than seeing your partner as \"wrong.\"

-How do I handle it when my partner disciplines our child in a way I don\'t agree with?
-When your partner uses a disciplinary approach you disagree with, jumping in to defend the kids often escalates the situation. Instead, try a de-escalation approach: help everyone regulate with your calm presence, validate each person\'s feelings, and offer a simple solution that gives everyone an out while preserving dignity. Save deeper discussions for later when kids aren\'t present.

-How can I talk to my partner about discipline without starting a fight?
Approach conversations without judgment by framing the discussion around shared goals (\"Can we talk about what we want to do when the kids don\'t listen?\") rather than criticizing their approach (\"You\'re too harsh with the kids\"). The episode offers 10 indirect questions to help you understand the origins of your partner\'s beliefs about discipline.

-What if my partner thinks gentle parenting \"doesn\'t work\"?
If your partner is using your imperfect moments as \"evidence\" that your approach doesn\'t work, start with self-compassion. We look at how to use tools like The Feedback Process to explore your different ideas and find ways to move forward together.

-How can we create a consistent approach that respects both our parenting styles?
Start by understanding what\'s driving each of your approaches rather than just focusing on behaviors. When you identify the underlying needs you\'re both trying to meet—whether it\'s creating structure, ensuring emotional connection, or teaching responsibility—you\'ll often find common ground. The episode provides indirect questions you can use to understand how your childhood experiences have shaped your parenting values. Then you can work together to determine what success looks like for both of you, examine what actually happens with different approaches, and create hybrid solutions that honor each person\'s core values while giving your children the consistency they need.

In the Parenting Membership, we learn communication strategies based in the Gottman Method to address challenges with our partners. When we understand the deep needs behind our partner\'s approach to discipline (and they understand ours too), we can usually find a path forward that comes much closer to meeting both of our needs. You\'ll see couples arguing much like you and your partner argue now, and then quickly learning new tools that help you to talk about issues you disagree on without either of you getting triggered. And we\'ll give you a preview of those tools in the Full Experience of the Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop!

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/parents-disagr-on-discipline

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Parent Conflict Over Discipline How to Get on the Same Page

\"How can we get on the same page about discipline?\" is one of the most common questions parents face. Before having kids, most couples never realize how different family backgrounds, experiences, and parenting beliefs will collide into seemingly unbridgeable differences. This episode explores practical tools to navigate these differences, from de-escalating tense moments to having productive conversations that honor both parents\' needs while creating consistency for your children.

Questions This Episode Will Answer
-Why do my partner and I have such different approaches to discipline?
Your differing approaches likely stem from your own childhood experiences, family values, and what you\'re trying to \"fix\" from your upbringing. You might also have different core needs you\'re trying to meet — one parent might prioritize structure and predictability while another focuses on emotional connection. Understanding these differences is key to finding common ground rather than seeing your partner as \"wrong.\"

-How do I handle it when my partner disciplines our child in a way I don\'t agree with?
-When your partner uses a disciplinary approach you disagree with, jumping in to defend the kids often escalates the situation. Instead, try a de-escalation approach: help everyone regulate with your calm presence, validate each person\'s feelings, and offer a simple solution that gives everyone an out while preserving dignity. Save deeper discussions for later when kids aren\'t present.

-How can I talk to my partner about discipline without starting a fight?
Approach conversations without judgment by framing the discussion around shared goals (\"Can we talk about what we want to do when the kids don\'t listen?\") rather than criticizing their approach (\"You\'re too harsh with the kids\"). The episode offers 10 indirect questions to help you understand the origins of your partner\'s beliefs about discipline.

-What if my partner thinks gentle parenting \"doesn\'t work\"?
If your partner is using your imperfect moments as \"evidence\" that your approach doesn\'t work, start with self-compassion. We look at how to use tools like The Feedback Process to explore your different ideas and find ways to move forward together.

-How can we create a consistent approach that respects both our parenting styles?
Start by understanding what\'s driving each of your approaches rather than just focusing on behaviors. When you identify the underlying needs you\'re both trying to meet—whether it\'s creating structure, ensuring emotional connection, or teaching responsibility—you\'ll often find common ground. The episode provides indirect questions you can use to understand how your childhood experiences have shaped your parenting values. Then you can work together to determine what success looks like for both of you, examine what actually happens with different approaches, and create hybrid solutions that honor each person\'s core values while giving your children the consistency they need.

In the Parenting Membership, we learn communication strategies based in the Gottman Method to address challenges with our partners. When we understand the deep needs behind our partner\'s approach to discipline (and they understand ours too), we can usually find a path forward that comes much closer to meeting both of our needs. You\'ll see couples arguing much like you and your partner argue now, and then quickly learning new tools that help you to talk about issues you disagree on without either of you getting triggered. And we\'ll give you a preview of those tools in the Full Experience of the Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop!

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/parents-disagr-on-discipline

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/ee562967945c10100f6a4d8d2daf3ed6.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='45830000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3003</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030324/parent-conflict-over-discipline-how-to-get-on-the-same-page.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030324/parent-conflict-over-discipline-how-to-get-on-the-same-page.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >The secret to having feedback conversations your family will actually hear</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/the-secret-to-having-feedback-conversations-your-family-will-actually-hear-1788573898/33030325</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583512</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 13 Apr 2025 17:00:23 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[--The secret to having feedback conversations your family will actually hear

Have you ever shared an observation with your partner or child, only to watch them immediately become defensive or shut down? You meant well, but somehow your words landed as criticism instead of the helpful insight you intended.

In this episode, we explore The Feedback Process framework with Joellen Killion, examining how we can transform our family communications. When we participate in the feedback process effectively, we create conversations that family members can actually hear—conversations that lead to lasting positive change rather than defensiveness and resistance.

Questions this episode will answer
-Why do our attempts to share observations with family members often lead to defensiveness?
-What\'s the difference between criticism and participating in the feedback process?
-How can we frame our observations so they\'re received as helpful rather than hurtful?
-What specific language patterns help family members stay open to what we\'re sharing?
-How can we create feedback conversations that strengthen relationships instead of damaging them?
-How does shifting from \"waiting to respond\" to \"truly listening\" transform the entire feedback dynamic?
-How can we teach children to participate in the feedback process constructively?

What you\'ll learn in this episode
-The key components of The Feedback Process framework and how they transform family communications
-Practical techniques to share observations without triggering defensiveness in your partner or children
-Specific language patterns that help feedback recipients stay open to what you\'re sharing
-How to recognize when feedback isn\'t being received and what to do about it
-The crucial difference between criticism and constructive feedback
-Ways to create a family culture where feedback strengthens relationships rather than damaging them
-How participating in the feedback process builds emotional intelligence in children
-Practical examples of transforming common family conflicts through effective feedback conversations

This episode provides practical tools to break cycles of criticism and defensiveness, creating space for authentic communication that leads to positive change in your family relationships.]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[--The secret to having feedback conversations your family will actually hear

Have you ever shared an observation with your partner or child, only to watch them immediately become defensive or shut down? You meant well, but somehow your words landed as criticism instead of the helpful insight you intended.

In this episode, we explore The Feedback Process framework with Joellen Killion, examining how we can transform our family communications. When we participate in the feedback process effectively, we create conversations that family members can actually hear—conversations that lead to lasting positive change rather than defensiveness and resistance.

Questions this episode will answer
-Why do our attempts to share observations with family members often lead to defensiveness?
-What\'s the difference between criticism and participating in the feedback process?
-How can we frame our observations so they\'re received as helpful rather than hurtful?
-What specific language patterns help family members stay open to what we\'re sharing?
-How can we create feedback conversations that strengthen relationships instead of damaging them?
-How does shifting from \"waiting to respond\" to \"truly listening\" transform the entire feedback dynamic?
-How can we teach children to participate in the feedback process constructively?

What you\'ll learn in this episode
-The key components of The Feedback Process framework and how they transform family communications
-Practical techniques to share observations without triggering defensiveness in your partner or children
-Specific language patterns that help feedback recipients stay open to what you\'re sharing
-How to recognize when feedback isn\'t being received and what to do about it
-The crucial difference between criticism and constructive feedback
-Ways to create a family culture where feedback strengthens relationships rather than damaging them
-How participating in the feedback process builds emotional intelligence in children
-Practical examples of transforming common family conflicts through effective feedback conversations

This episode provides practical tools to break cycles of criticism and defensiveness, creating space for authentic communication that leads to positive change in your family relationships.]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/48ef0491fd59132d05b09c4d26ec8aaa.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='58110000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3808</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030325/the-secret-to-having-feedback-conversations-your-family-will-actually-hear.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030325/the-secret-to-having-feedback-conversations-your-family-will-actually-hear.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Validating children\&apos;s feelings: Why it\&apos;s important, and how to do it with Dr. Caroline Fleck</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/validating-childrens-feelings-why-its-important-and-how-to-do-it-with-dr-caroline-fleck-1788573898/33030326</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583498</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 23 Mar 2025 22:00:24 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Don\'t forget to like, subscribe, and click the bell button so you never miss a new video! 

Validating children\'s feelings: Why it\'s important, and how to do it with

What exactly is validation? Dr. Fleck defines it as communication that demonstrates you are mindful, understand, and empathize with another person\'s experience, thereby accepting it as valid.
In this illuminating conversation with Dr. Caroline Fleck, author the book Validation, we explore the powerful concept of validation and how it can transform your relationship with your child. Dr. Fleck is a licensed psychologist, corporate consultant, and Adjunct Clinical Instructor at Stanford University.

After the conversation with Dr. Fleck, I provide my own perspective on the third part of her book. While I found the first two parts on validation techniques extremely valuable and immediately applicable, I share some concerns about using validation as a tool for changing children\'s behavior. I explore the ethical considerations of consent-based relationships with children and offer an alternative approach focused on understanding needs rather than modifying behavior. The conversation gives you an overview of the very useful validation framework, while the conclusion honors my commitment to respectful, needs-based parenting approaches that maintain children\'s autonomy and inner experience.

Questions this episode will answer
-How do I validate my child\'s feelings when they\'re having a meltdown?
-Does validating my child\'s emotions make tantrums worse or last longer?
-What should I say when my child is upset about something that seems trivial?
-How can I tell the difference between validating feelings versus validating bad behavior?
-What are the most effective words to use when validating my child\'s emotions?
-How does validation help my child develop emotional regulation skills?
-What happens if I\'ve been unintentionally invalidating my child\'s feelings?
-Is it possible to validate feelings while still setting necessary boundaries?
-What simple validation techniques can I start using today with my child?

What you\'ll learn in this episode
-Simple, practical phrases to validate your child\'s feelings during difficult moments
-How to respond when your child is upset about something that seems small (like a broken cracker)
-The step-by-step validation ladder you can use with children of all ages
-Why saying \"You\'re OK!\" actually makes tantrums worse and what to say instead
-How validation helps your child develop emotional regulation skills faster
-Easy mindfulness techniques to stay calm when your child is emotional
-Specific examples of validation for common parenting challenges
-How to validate feelings while still maintaining important boundaries
-Ways to repair your relationship if you\'ve been unintentionally invalidating
The connection between childhood validation and long-term mental health

Whether you\'re dealing with tantrums, big emotions, difficult conversations, or just want to build a stronger connection with your child, the validation techniques shared in this episode provide a foundation for healthier relationships and emotional well-being.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/validation-dr-caroline-fleck

Key moments:
4:06 Definition of validation by Dr. Caroline Fleck
4:38 Importance of validation in our relationships
8:27 The idea that facts are debatable, you have fundamentally uprooted the basis for determining validity
14:44 How does validating other people helps us?
16:48 The role of validating our kid’s feelings in some kinds of situations
20:07 Gender differences in terms of ability to validate and willingness to learn about validating
23:48 Invalidation is one of the single greatest contributors to mental health problems that we often know
27:02 It is possible to develop a self-validation wherein you progress the skills to validate yourself
28:38 The validation ladder has eight skills that map to one or more of those qualities
31:57 How does Dr. Fleck relate “attending” into one of the mindfulness skills
36:02 Copying is also one of the two important skills that are located at the bottom of the validation ladder
47:48 Proposing is sharing an idea about what you think the other person is thinking or feeling based I what they’ve said in the conversation
54:34 Validating the other person’s worth by demonstrating that you put their experience by sharing
58:44 Jen’s thought about the third part that focuses on behavioral change and why she took a different approach
01:02:09 DBT is a behaviorist-based approach which serves an important purpose in clinical settings where adults have specifically sought help for behaviors that are causing them distress.

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #validation #conceptofvalidation #validatingfeelings #validatingbadbehavior #validatemychildsfeelings]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Don\'t forget to like, subscribe, and click the bell button so you never miss a new video! 

Validating children\'s feelings: Why it\'s important, and how to do it with

What exactly is validation? Dr. Fleck defines it as communication that demonstrates you are mindful, understand, and empathize with another person\'s experience, thereby accepting it as valid.
In this illuminating conversation with Dr. Caroline Fleck, author the book Validation, we explore the powerful concept of validation and how it can transform your relationship with your child. Dr. Fleck is a licensed psychologist, corporate consultant, and Adjunct Clinical Instructor at Stanford University.

After the conversation with Dr. Fleck, I provide my own perspective on the third part of her book. While I found the first two parts on validation techniques extremely valuable and immediately applicable, I share some concerns about using validation as a tool for changing children\'s behavior. I explore the ethical considerations of consent-based relationships with children and offer an alternative approach focused on understanding needs rather than modifying behavior. The conversation gives you an overview of the very useful validation framework, while the conclusion honors my commitment to respectful, needs-based parenting approaches that maintain children\'s autonomy and inner experience.

Questions this episode will answer
-How do I validate my child\'s feelings when they\'re having a meltdown?
-Does validating my child\'s emotions make tantrums worse or last longer?
-What should I say when my child is upset about something that seems trivial?
-How can I tell the difference between validating feelings versus validating bad behavior?
-What are the most effective words to use when validating my child\'s emotions?
-How does validation help my child develop emotional regulation skills?
-What happens if I\'ve been unintentionally invalidating my child\'s feelings?
-Is it possible to validate feelings while still setting necessary boundaries?
-What simple validation techniques can I start using today with my child?

What you\'ll learn in this episode
-Simple, practical phrases to validate your child\'s feelings during difficult moments
-How to respond when your child is upset about something that seems small (like a broken cracker)
-The step-by-step validation ladder you can use with children of all ages
-Why saying \"You\'re OK!\" actually makes tantrums worse and what to say instead
-How validation helps your child develop emotional regulation skills faster
-Easy mindfulness techniques to stay calm when your child is emotional
-Specific examples of validation for common parenting challenges
-How to validate feelings while still maintaining important boundaries
-Ways to repair your relationship if you\'ve been unintentionally invalidating
The connection between childhood validation and long-term mental health

Whether you\'re dealing with tantrums, big emotions, difficult conversations, or just want to build a stronger connection with your child, the validation techniques shared in this episode provide a foundation for healthier relationships and emotional well-being.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/validation-dr-caroline-fleck

Key moments:
4:06 Definition of validation by Dr. Caroline Fleck
4:38 Importance of validation in our relationships
8:27 The idea that facts are debatable, you have fundamentally uprooted the basis for determining validity
14:44 How does validating other people helps us?
16:48 The role of validating our kid’s feelings in some kinds of situations
20:07 Gender differences in terms of ability to validate and willingness to learn about validating
23:48 Invalidation is one of the single greatest contributors to mental health problems that we often know
27:02 It is possible to develop a self-validation wherein you progress the skills to validate yourself
28:38 The validation ladder has eight skills that map to one or more of those qualities
31:57 How does Dr. Fleck relate “attending” into one of the mindfulness skills
36:02 Copying is also one of the two important skills that are located at the bottom of the validation ladder
47:48 Proposing is sharing an idea about what you think the other person is thinking or feeling based I what they’ve said in the conversation
54:34 Validating the other person’s worth by demonstrating that you put their experience by sharing
58:44 Jen’s thought about the third part that focuses on behavioral change and why she took a different approach
01:02:09 DBT is a behaviorist-based approach which serves an important purpose in clinical settings where adults have specifically sought help for behaviors that are causing them distress.

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parenting #parentingpodcast #validation #conceptofvalidation #validatingfeelings #validatingbadbehavior #validatemychildsfeelings]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/f5aeaf3c47843159c5104dac6600ce58.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='66470000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >4355</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030326/validating-childrens-feelings-why-its-important-and-how-to-do-it-with-dr-caroline-fleck.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030326/validating-childrens-feelings-why-its-important-and-how-to-do-it-with-dr-caroline-fleck.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
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<item>
<title >How to prepare your kids for the real world</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-prepare-your-kids-for-the-real-world-1788573898/33030327</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583525</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 16 Mar 2025 22:00:31 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Don\'t forget to like, subscribe, and click the bell button so you never miss a new video! 

How to Prepare Children for the Real World

Challenge conventional wisdom about \"tough love\" with evidence-based approaches that prioritize connection over compliance and control.

In this episode, we explore how to prepare children for the real world without sacrificing their authentic selves. Drawing on research about food habits, screen time, social expectations, and discipline approaches, this discussion offers balanced strategies that prioritize connection over control. You\'ll learn how to guide children through external pressures while helping them develop critical thinking skills and maintaining their inherent wisdom.

Questions this episode will answer
- How can I help my child navigate a world of hyper-palatable foods without creating unhealthy food relationships?
- What\'s the evidence about screen time and video games, and how can I approach them constructively?
- How do social systems pressure children to conform to limiting gender roles and expectations?
- Is traditional discipline truly preparing children for the \"real world,\" or is there a better approach?
- How can I honor my child\'s authentic self while still giving them tools to succeed?

What you\'ll learn in this episode
- The truth about BMI measurements and research on body size that contradicts common assumptions
- How the Division of Responsibility model can transform mealtime struggles
- Why video games don\'t increase violence and may offer surprising benefits
- Practical ways to help children develop critical thinking about media messages
- How to identify the unmet needs behind challenging behavior
- The concept of \"traumatic invalidation\" and its impact on children\'s development
- Step-by-step approaches to build children\'s self-regulation around screen time
- How to create meaningful conversations about problematic messages in children\'s books
- Ways to validate children while preparing them for life\'s challenges

This episode offers a thoughtful examination of the tensions between societal pressures and children\'s innate wisdom, providing practical guidance for parents navigating these complex territories. Rather than offering quick fixes, we focus on building connection as the foundation for helping children develop resilience and discernment.


For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/how-to-prepare-your-kids-for-the-real-world

Jump to highlights:
0:00 Introducing today’s episode
2:29 All kinds of cultural implications may be involved in what our children consume
4:35 Mealtimes can be stressful for children who likes to consume bread rather than to eat healthy foods like vegetables
7:12 Explaining what is a bliss point of a product
10:41 Things that help parents to navigate a world of hyper-palatable foods without creating unhealthy food relationship
15:07 Video games often reflect our broader societal values
16:35 Ways on how to help your child develop a healthy relationship with screens while preparing them for the digital world that they will inhabit
22:57 When a video game portrays a male character as warrior and a female character as healer, it often gives the same division of human qualities that pressure boys and girls
24:10 Choosing where the families live will significantly shape what children learn about social structures
26:19 Steps on how parents prepare our children for the reality while helping them develop into individuals
33:09 What is time-out teaching our children about relationship and their place in the world
42:12 How parent’s experiences shape our children to fit in the society
51:05 Acceptance of our own circumstances in dealing with our own child can be helpful at times

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parentinghacks #gentleparenting parenting #parenting #yourparentingmojo #parentingpodcast]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Don\'t forget to like, subscribe, and click the bell button so you never miss a new video! 

How to Prepare Children for the Real World

Challenge conventional wisdom about \"tough love\" with evidence-based approaches that prioritize connection over compliance and control.

In this episode, we explore how to prepare children for the real world without sacrificing their authentic selves. Drawing on research about food habits, screen time, social expectations, and discipline approaches, this discussion offers balanced strategies that prioritize connection over control. You\'ll learn how to guide children through external pressures while helping them develop critical thinking skills and maintaining their inherent wisdom.

Questions this episode will answer
- How can I help my child navigate a world of hyper-palatable foods without creating unhealthy food relationships?
- What\'s the evidence about screen time and video games, and how can I approach them constructively?
- How do social systems pressure children to conform to limiting gender roles and expectations?
- Is traditional discipline truly preparing children for the \"real world,\" or is there a better approach?
- How can I honor my child\'s authentic self while still giving them tools to succeed?

What you\'ll learn in this episode
- The truth about BMI measurements and research on body size that contradicts common assumptions
- How the Division of Responsibility model can transform mealtime struggles
- Why video games don\'t increase violence and may offer surprising benefits
- Practical ways to help children develop critical thinking about media messages
- How to identify the unmet needs behind challenging behavior
- The concept of \"traumatic invalidation\" and its impact on children\'s development
- Step-by-step approaches to build children\'s self-regulation around screen time
- How to create meaningful conversations about problematic messages in children\'s books
- Ways to validate children while preparing them for life\'s challenges

This episode offers a thoughtful examination of the tensions between societal pressures and children\'s innate wisdom, providing practical guidance for parents navigating these complex territories. Rather than offering quick fixes, we focus on building connection as the foundation for helping children develop resilience and discernment.


For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/how-to-prepare-your-kids-for-the-real-world

Jump to highlights:
0:00 Introducing today’s episode
2:29 All kinds of cultural implications may be involved in what our children consume
4:35 Mealtimes can be stressful for children who likes to consume bread rather than to eat healthy foods like vegetables
7:12 Explaining what is a bliss point of a product
10:41 Things that help parents to navigate a world of hyper-palatable foods without creating unhealthy food relationship
15:07 Video games often reflect our broader societal values
16:35 Ways on how to help your child develop a healthy relationship with screens while preparing them for the digital world that they will inhabit
22:57 When a video game portrays a male character as warrior and a female character as healer, it often gives the same division of human qualities that pressure boys and girls
24:10 Choosing where the families live will significantly shape what children learn about social structures
26:19 Steps on how parents prepare our children for the reality while helping them develop into individuals
33:09 What is time-out teaching our children about relationship and their place in the world
42:12 How parent’s experiences shape our children to fit in the society
51:05 Acceptance of our own circumstances in dealing with our own child can be helpful at times

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parentinghacks #gentleparenting parenting #parenting #yourparentingmojo #parentingpodcast]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/8b58d7ad99d62fd0c8193bfa9afafd48.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='54620000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3632</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030327/how-to-prepare-your-kids-for-the-real-world.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030327/how-to-prepare-your-kids-for-the-real-world.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >First year for your newborn baby: The 7 ideas that really matter</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/first-year-for-your-newborn-baby-the-7-ideas-that-really-matter-1788573898/33030328</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583518</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 09 Mar 2025 22:00:17 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[What truly matters in a baby’s first year? This episode explores the top five things parents should focus on, helping you set priorities with confidence.

Questions this episode will answer:
-How much influence do parents really have on their child’s development?
-What parenting practices actually make a long-term difference?
-Should you be worried about hitting developmental milestones on time?
-How can you support your baby’s emotional well-being from day one?
-What are the best ways to foster a strong parent-child bond?

What you’ll learn in this episode: 
-Parenting advice changes constantly, often reflecting shifts in culture and scientific understanding. In this episode, we take a research-backed approach to uncover what truly matters in your baby’s first year—and what doesn’t.
-The Myth of the Perfect Parent: Learn why the definition of “good parenting” has evolved and how cultural expectations influence parenting choices.
-Nature vs. Nurture: Discover the surprising role genetics and socioeconomic factors play in shaping a child’s future.
-The Truth About Developmental Milestones: Understand why comparing your child to others can be misleading—and what really matters for long-term success.
-Helping Your Baby Feel Secure: Explore the key elements of emotional safety and how they support healthy development.
-Building a Strong Parent-Child Connection: Learn practical strategies to foster trust, communication, and bonding with your baby.
-Making Parenting Easier: Get clarity on what’s actually worth stressing about—spoiler: fancy baby gear isn’t on the list.

Join us as we use our values to understand how to get parenting right from the start for your baby and family.

If you’re ready to dive even deeper into these ideas and get hands-on guidance in your parenting journey, our Right From The Start course that I run with Hannah & Kelty of Upbringing is here to help. 
It’s designed to give you the confidence and tools to support your baby’s emotional well-being, strengthen your bond, and parent with intention—right from the start.

You\'ll get access to nine modules of content on topics like supporting baby\'s sleep, feeding with confidence, and supporting a strong sibling relationship. You\'ll also learn how to meet your own needs - because you\'re a whole person with needs, not just your baby\'s parent.

Right From The Start is available anytime, and you get access to a group coaching call once a month for a year after you join. You can give the course as a gift - it might be the most useful baby shower gift anyone can receive (besides the industrial strength laxatives and nipple shields!)

Learn more about the Right From The Start - https://yourparentingmojo.com/rightfromthestart/

Jump to highlights:
00:00 Introducing today’s episode
03:35 Socioeconomic status can make a large contribution to children’s outcome
04:57 Traumatic experiences mostly happen among poor families
09:27 Non-exhaustive list of things that don’t matter enough to be worth worrying about for parents who are expecting a baby or have one under the age of one
16:05 Verbalization of comparing each baby’s milestone can create the conditions that we know can arouse shame in a lot of people surrounding the baby
21:23 Childcare is the sixth most important thing that can make an impact on a baby’s life in their first year of existence
26:42 Dividing the workload as a parent is one of the essential things that is crucial for the babies
33:39 How do our childhood experiences affect how we discipline our children?
39:53 Approaches in planning the baby’s first year of existence is the third most important idea that matters
43:31 Learning how to interpret someone’s behavior as an expression of their need can be crucial for babies
46:42 Identifying parent needs is the most important factor that matters for the baby’s development

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/what-really-matters-babys-first-year

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parentinghacks #babies #parenting #whatreallymattersinbabies #yourparentingmojo #parentingpodcast]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[What truly matters in a baby’s first year? This episode explores the top five things parents should focus on, helping you set priorities with confidence.

Questions this episode will answer:
-How much influence do parents really have on their child’s development?
-What parenting practices actually make a long-term difference?
-Should you be worried about hitting developmental milestones on time?
-How can you support your baby’s emotional well-being from day one?
-What are the best ways to foster a strong parent-child bond?

What you’ll learn in this episode: 
-Parenting advice changes constantly, often reflecting shifts in culture and scientific understanding. In this episode, we take a research-backed approach to uncover what truly matters in your baby’s first year—and what doesn’t.
-The Myth of the Perfect Parent: Learn why the definition of “good parenting” has evolved and how cultural expectations influence parenting choices.
-Nature vs. Nurture: Discover the surprising role genetics and socioeconomic factors play in shaping a child’s future.
-The Truth About Developmental Milestones: Understand why comparing your child to others can be misleading—and what really matters for long-term success.
-Helping Your Baby Feel Secure: Explore the key elements of emotional safety and how they support healthy development.
-Building a Strong Parent-Child Connection: Learn practical strategies to foster trust, communication, and bonding with your baby.
-Making Parenting Easier: Get clarity on what’s actually worth stressing about—spoiler: fancy baby gear isn’t on the list.

Join us as we use our values to understand how to get parenting right from the start for your baby and family.

If you’re ready to dive even deeper into these ideas and get hands-on guidance in your parenting journey, our Right From The Start course that I run with Hannah & Kelty of Upbringing is here to help. 
It’s designed to give you the confidence and tools to support your baby’s emotional well-being, strengthen your bond, and parent with intention—right from the start.

You\'ll get access to nine modules of content on topics like supporting baby\'s sleep, feeding with confidence, and supporting a strong sibling relationship. You\'ll also learn how to meet your own needs - because you\'re a whole person with needs, not just your baby\'s parent.

Right From The Start is available anytime, and you get access to a group coaching call once a month for a year after you join. You can give the course as a gift - it might be the most useful baby shower gift anyone can receive (besides the industrial strength laxatives and nipple shields!)

Learn more about the Right From The Start - https://yourparentingmojo.com/rightfromthestart/

Jump to highlights:
00:00 Introducing today’s episode
03:35 Socioeconomic status can make a large contribution to children’s outcome
04:57 Traumatic experiences mostly happen among poor families
09:27 Non-exhaustive list of things that don’t matter enough to be worth worrying about for parents who are expecting a baby or have one under the age of one
16:05 Verbalization of comparing each baby’s milestone can create the conditions that we know can arouse shame in a lot of people surrounding the baby
21:23 Childcare is the sixth most important thing that can make an impact on a baby’s life in their first year of existence
26:42 Dividing the workload as a parent is one of the essential things that is crucial for the babies
33:39 How do our childhood experiences affect how we discipline our children?
39:53 Approaches in planning the baby’s first year of existence is the third most important idea that matters
43:31 Learning how to interpret someone’s behavior as an expression of their need can be crucial for babies
46:42 Identifying parent needs is the most important factor that matters for the baby’s development

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/what-really-matters-babys-first-year

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parentinghacks #babies #parenting #whatreallymattersinbabies #yourparentingmojo #parentingpodcast]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/62f7d0ebe7bd835105fe5d159a3b2b5b.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='48970000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3209</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030328/first-year-for-your-newborn-baby-the-7-ideas-that-really-matter.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030328/first-year-for-your-newborn-baby-the-7-ideas-that-really-matter.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
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<item>
<title >Feeling exhausted and overwhelmed? Tools to help you cope</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/feeling-exhausted-and-overwhelmed-tools-to-help-you-cope-1788573898/33030329</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293764171583529</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 16 Feb 2025 22:00:14 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Feeling Overwhelmed by Parenting Stress? You’re Not Alone.
If you’re exhausted, stretched too thin, and struggling with the stress of parenting, you’re not the only one. Many parents—especially mothers—find themselves running on empty, constantly trying to meet everyone’s needs while their own go unnoticed. Parenting stress can leave you feeling frustrated, drained, and even angry at your kids, whom you love so much.
In this episode, we’re unpacking why parenting can feel like too much and what we can do about it. We’ll explore the hidden pressures that push parents toward burnout, the unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves, and small shifts that can help you feel more supported, more present, and less overwhelmed by the daily stress of parenting.

Questions This Episode Will Answer:
Why does parenting feel so much harder than I expected?
Is it normal to feel resentful or emotionally drained from the stress of parenting?
Am I an angry parent? Is this just who I am?
How can I take care of myself when my kids need me all the time?
Why do I feel guilty when I set boundaries or ask for help?
What small, doable changes can I make to feel more balanced and present?

You’ll Learn:
Why so many parents feel like they’re drowning—and why it’s not your fault
What’s really behind that constant exhaustion and frustration
Practical ways to lighten the load without adding more to your to-do list
How small mindset shifts can make parenting feel less overwhelming
How to recognize when parenting stress is turning you into an angry parent—and what to do about it

This isn’t about striving for perfection or forcing yourself to do more. It’s about finding simple, meaningful ways to care for yourself while still showing up for your family.

Parental Burnout Quiz
Here\'s the quiz mentioned in the episode: https://en.burnoutparental.com/suis-je-en-burnout

If you snap at your kids more often than you\'d like...
If your anger seems to come out of nowhere, and you can\'t stop it...
If you\'ve promised your kids you won\'t yell at them as much, but keep on doing it...

...the Taming Your Triggers workshop will help. 
We have special rolled-back pricing for our Spring 2025 opening, and the same 100% money back guarantee we\'ve always had. There are so many parents already enrolled who are just waiting to be in healing, nurturing, joyful community with you!

Sign up here - https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers/

Jump to highlights:
00:00 Introduction of episode
04:05 Four key symptoms of parental burnout
05:00 Factors why the parents in some countries burnout more than others.
06:02 Kelly’s burnout experience
08:55 Cortisol level on burnout parent
09:28 Important risk factors for burnout
11:30 The roles of societal expectations on parents
12:58 Personal strategies to address burnout
13:37 Mindfulness awareness
20:25 Self-compassion for parents
21:43 Parents debilitating perfectionism
24:20 Strategy for achieving self-compassion
25:54 Introduction on parental neediness
29:33 The common barrier to prioritize needs
31:31 Need that often get neglected
34:50 Difference between boundaries and limits
38:36 Why we default to limit so much
39:59 What happens when parents don’t set boundaries
43:13 Reasons why parents feel overwhelmed
49:00 Ideas to bring out to life


For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/key-skills-overcome-parental-burnout

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parentinghacks #parenting #parentalburnout #tamingyourtriggers]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Feeling Overwhelmed by Parenting Stress? You’re Not Alone.
If you’re exhausted, stretched too thin, and struggling with the stress of parenting, you’re not the only one. Many parents—especially mothers—find themselves running on empty, constantly trying to meet everyone’s needs while their own go unnoticed. Parenting stress can leave you feeling frustrated, drained, and even angry at your kids, whom you love so much.
In this episode, we’re unpacking why parenting can feel like too much and what we can do about it. We’ll explore the hidden pressures that push parents toward burnout, the unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves, and small shifts that can help you feel more supported, more present, and less overwhelmed by the daily stress of parenting.

Questions This Episode Will Answer:
Why does parenting feel so much harder than I expected?
Is it normal to feel resentful or emotionally drained from the stress of parenting?
Am I an angry parent? Is this just who I am?
How can I take care of myself when my kids need me all the time?
Why do I feel guilty when I set boundaries or ask for help?
What small, doable changes can I make to feel more balanced and present?

You’ll Learn:
Why so many parents feel like they’re drowning—and why it’s not your fault
What’s really behind that constant exhaustion and frustration
Practical ways to lighten the load without adding more to your to-do list
How small mindset shifts can make parenting feel less overwhelming
How to recognize when parenting stress is turning you into an angry parent—and what to do about it

This isn’t about striving for perfection or forcing yourself to do more. It’s about finding simple, meaningful ways to care for yourself while still showing up for your family.

Parental Burnout Quiz
Here\'s the quiz mentioned in the episode: https://en.burnoutparental.com/suis-je-en-burnout

If you snap at your kids more often than you\'d like...
If your anger seems to come out of nowhere, and you can\'t stop it...
If you\'ve promised your kids you won\'t yell at them as much, but keep on doing it...

...the Taming Your Triggers workshop will help. 
We have special rolled-back pricing for our Spring 2025 opening, and the same 100% money back guarantee we\'ve always had. There are so many parents already enrolled who are just waiting to be in healing, nurturing, joyful community with you!

Sign up here - https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers/

Jump to highlights:
00:00 Introduction of episode
04:05 Four key symptoms of parental burnout
05:00 Factors why the parents in some countries burnout more than others.
06:02 Kelly’s burnout experience
08:55 Cortisol level on burnout parent
09:28 Important risk factors for burnout
11:30 The roles of societal expectations on parents
12:58 Personal strategies to address burnout
13:37 Mindfulness awareness
20:25 Self-compassion for parents
21:43 Parents debilitating perfectionism
24:20 Strategy for achieving self-compassion
25:54 Introduction on parental neediness
29:33 The common barrier to prioritize needs
31:31 Need that often get neglected
34:50 Difference between boundaries and limits
38:36 Why we default to limit so much
39:59 What happens when parents don’t set boundaries
43:13 Reasons why parents feel overwhelmed
49:00 Ideas to bring out to life


For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/key-skills-overcome-parental-burnout

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parentinghacks #parenting #parentalburnout #tamingyourtriggers]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/19b31075bf702a86a7b1ead9855f4893.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='46450000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3089</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030329/feeling-exhausted-and-overwhelmed-tools-to-help-you-cope.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030329/feeling-exhausted-and-overwhelmed-tools-to-help-you-cope.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >8 reasons your child won\&apos;t tell you what\&apos;s wrong - and how to help</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/8-reasons-your-child-wont-tell-you-whats-wrong-and-how-to-help-1788573898/33030330</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280529</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 09 Feb 2025 22:00:05 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Struggling to get your child to open up? Discover 8 key reasons kids resist sharing their feelings—and actionable strategies to create real connection.

Why Your Child Won’t Open Up—and What You Can Do
As parents, we deeply want to support our children, but when we ask, “What’s wrong?” and get silence or resistance in return, it can feel frustrating and confusing. Why won’t they just tell us what’s going on? Whether your child is too young to articulate their emotions, brushes off your questions, or reacts with defiance, you’re not alone.

In this episode of Your Parenting Mojo, we explore the real reasons children struggle to express their feelings and how we, as parents, might unintentionally make it harder for them to share. You’ll learn practical, connection-based strategies to shift these dynamics, helping your child feel safe enough to open up—without forcing the conversation.
The episode builds on the ideas in my book Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World. 

Questions This Episode Will Answer:
- Why does my child shut down when I ask about their feelings?
- How can I encourage my child to express emotions—even if they can\'t or don\'t speak?
- Could how I talk to them make them less likely to share?
- How should I respond when they say, “I don’t care” or “Stop talking like that”?
- How can I build long-term trust so they confide in me more?
- What common parenting habits discourage open communication without us realizing it?
- What strategies can I use to make problem-solving conversations feel safe and collaborative?

What You’ll Learn in This Episode
- 8 key reasons why kids resist sharing their emotions.
- How to recognize when your child wants to open up but doesn’t know how.
- The hidden impact of parenting focused on getting the child to behave correctly—and how to shift toward emotional connection.
- How to reframe conversations so your child knows you see, know, and love them for who they really are.
- Actionable tools to help your child feel safe expressing their emotions.


00:00 Introduction of episode
02:17 How to problem solve with children who cannot verbally share their feelings
04:34 Children might resist sharing their feelings because we’re focused on changing their behavior
07:53 Children might not participate in the conversation because we judge them
11:51 Children might resist participating in conversation because we have already decided what the “correct” solution is in advance
13:30 We haven’t taken time to understand the child’s needs
16:43 The child might not tell how they feel because they don’t know how they feel
19:56 The child might not tell you what’s wrong because you’re asking them in the heat of the moment

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/child-wont-tell-you-whats-wrong

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parentinghacks #parenting #tamingyourtriggers]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Struggling to get your child to open up? Discover 8 key reasons kids resist sharing their feelings—and actionable strategies to create real connection.

Why Your Child Won’t Open Up—and What You Can Do
As parents, we deeply want to support our children, but when we ask, “What’s wrong?” and get silence or resistance in return, it can feel frustrating and confusing. Why won’t they just tell us what’s going on? Whether your child is too young to articulate their emotions, brushes off your questions, or reacts with defiance, you’re not alone.

In this episode of Your Parenting Mojo, we explore the real reasons children struggle to express their feelings and how we, as parents, might unintentionally make it harder for them to share. You’ll learn practical, connection-based strategies to shift these dynamics, helping your child feel safe enough to open up—without forcing the conversation.
The episode builds on the ideas in my book Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World. 

Questions This Episode Will Answer:
- Why does my child shut down when I ask about their feelings?
- How can I encourage my child to express emotions—even if they can\'t or don\'t speak?
- Could how I talk to them make them less likely to share?
- How should I respond when they say, “I don’t care” or “Stop talking like that”?
- How can I build long-term trust so they confide in me more?
- What common parenting habits discourage open communication without us realizing it?
- What strategies can I use to make problem-solving conversations feel safe and collaborative?

What You’ll Learn in This Episode
- 8 key reasons why kids resist sharing their emotions.
- How to recognize when your child wants to open up but doesn’t know how.
- The hidden impact of parenting focused on getting the child to behave correctly—and how to shift toward emotional connection.
- How to reframe conversations so your child knows you see, know, and love them for who they really are.
- Actionable tools to help your child feel safe expressing their emotions.


00:00 Introduction of episode
02:17 How to problem solve with children who cannot verbally share their feelings
04:34 Children might resist sharing their feelings because we’re focused on changing their behavior
07:53 Children might not participate in the conversation because we judge them
11:51 Children might resist participating in conversation because we have already decided what the “correct” solution is in advance
13:30 We haven’t taken time to understand the child’s needs
16:43 The child might not tell how they feel because they don’t know how they feel
19:56 The child might not tell you what’s wrong because you’re asking them in the heat of the moment

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/child-wont-tell-you-whats-wrong

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parentinghacks #parenting #tamingyourtriggers]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/a2cf74977ccc20428681b131817c0a14.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='22820000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >1517</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030330/8-reasons-your-child-wont-tell-you-whats-wrong-and-how-to-help.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030330/8-reasons-your-child-wont-tell-you-whats-wrong-and-how-to-help.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to heal the anger in your relationship with your spouse</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-heal-the-anger-in-your-relationship-with-your-spouse-1788573898/33030331</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280484</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 02 Feb 2025 22:00:11 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Parent Laurie was doing really well when she had two kids. She had been with her partner for a long time, she had just achieved her first managerial role at work, and things were going great - so they thought it would be a good time to add a third child.

Then: Pandemic. Two kids under three. Oldest child started school and had problems that were diagnosed as ADHD and Autism. Navigating all the appointments and calls from school took so much time that Laurie dropped down to part-time work, so her salary would no longer cover the cost of childcare. She quit her job and became a stay-at-home parent.

The Anger Begins
Then the anger and rage began. Laurie had always had anger throughout her whole life, and thought she knew how to handle it - but this rage was a different story. It felt like she wasn\'t in control, which is the complete opposite of how she wanted to show up as a parent and as a partner - so she felt deeply ashamed of it.

Her husband Jordan bore the brunt of it - for big issues and small. They had a mouse problem...and one day he left Goldfish crackers out. Laurie was like the villainous octopus witch Ursula from The Little Mermaid who wanted to tear everything down - to tear HIM down. 

The Impact of Anger on Laurie\'s Kids
Of course her kids heard all of this. Not long after his diagnosis, her oldest son had given a presentation to his class about his family, and he introduced Laurie by saying: \"No matter what happens, my Mom is calm and unflappable and she can handle it.\" It was Laurie\'s parenting dream come true, since she didn\'t grow up in a calm house.

Laurie felt so ashamed that she wasn\'t the calm center of the family anymore, and that her kids were afraid of her. 

Where the Anger Comes From
Then she started to learn the sources of her triggered feelings from waaay back in that not-so-calm household. She also learned that getting her husband to change his behavior was not the answer - even though she very much wanted it to be the answer!

She started to heal from the hurts she\'s experienced, and has learned how to sit with her rage without making it her husband\'s fault. And from there, she\'s begun to feel the rage less often.

Now there are more \'magical\' moments in their relationship, as they share silly texts like they used to before they had kids.

How to Repair After Anger
Laurie shares her story in this extraordinarily revealing interview. And at the end I coach her on a challenge she faced that very morning: she\'s now aware of the difference between feelings and fake feelings (that are really judgments in disguise). But even though she knows the difference she can\'t always stop herself from directing the fake feelings judgments at her husband - which had started a fight that day. 

We talked through how to avoid the judgments next time - and how to repair effectively with her husband later that night. I also share a message Laurie sent me about how the repair went!

I hope you enjoy this inspiring conversation!

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/why-am-i-so-angry-with-my-husband/

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parentinghacks #parenting #tamingyourtriggers #spouse]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Parent Laurie was doing really well when she had two kids. She had been with her partner for a long time, she had just achieved her first managerial role at work, and things were going great - so they thought it would be a good time to add a third child.

Then: Pandemic. Two kids under three. Oldest child started school and had problems that were diagnosed as ADHD and Autism. Navigating all the appointments and calls from school took so much time that Laurie dropped down to part-time work, so her salary would no longer cover the cost of childcare. She quit her job and became a stay-at-home parent.

The Anger Begins
Then the anger and rage began. Laurie had always had anger throughout her whole life, and thought she knew how to handle it - but this rage was a different story. It felt like she wasn\'t in control, which is the complete opposite of how she wanted to show up as a parent and as a partner - so she felt deeply ashamed of it.

Her husband Jordan bore the brunt of it - for big issues and small. They had a mouse problem...and one day he left Goldfish crackers out. Laurie was like the villainous octopus witch Ursula from The Little Mermaid who wanted to tear everything down - to tear HIM down. 

The Impact of Anger on Laurie\'s Kids
Of course her kids heard all of this. Not long after his diagnosis, her oldest son had given a presentation to his class about his family, and he introduced Laurie by saying: \"No matter what happens, my Mom is calm and unflappable and she can handle it.\" It was Laurie\'s parenting dream come true, since she didn\'t grow up in a calm house.

Laurie felt so ashamed that she wasn\'t the calm center of the family anymore, and that her kids were afraid of her. 

Where the Anger Comes From
Then she started to learn the sources of her triggered feelings from waaay back in that not-so-calm household. She also learned that getting her husband to change his behavior was not the answer - even though she very much wanted it to be the answer!

She started to heal from the hurts she\'s experienced, and has learned how to sit with her rage without making it her husband\'s fault. And from there, she\'s begun to feel the rage less often.

Now there are more \'magical\' moments in their relationship, as they share silly texts like they used to before they had kids.

How to Repair After Anger
Laurie shares her story in this extraordinarily revealing interview. And at the end I coach her on a challenge she faced that very morning: she\'s now aware of the difference between feelings and fake feelings (that are really judgments in disguise). But even though she knows the difference she can\'t always stop herself from directing the fake feelings judgments at her husband - which had started a fight that day. 

We talked through how to avoid the judgments next time - and how to repair effectively with her husband later that night. I also share a message Laurie sent me about how the repair went!

I hope you enjoy this inspiring conversation!

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/why-am-i-so-angry-with-my-husband/

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parentinghacks #parenting #tamingyourtriggers #spouse]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/2afe7718f4f8495ccbb47c1ef094946d.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='62990000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >4200</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030331/how-to-heal-the-anger-in-your-relationship-with-your-spouse.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030331/how-to-heal-the-anger-in-your-relationship-with-your-spouse.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Children\&apos;s threats: What they mean and how to respond</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/childrens-threats-what-they-mean-and-how-to-respond-1788573898/33030332</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280466</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 26 Jan 2025 22:00:28 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[If you don\'t give me a lollipop, I won\'t be your friend anymore.” 
Said to a sibling: “If you don’t come and sit down, I\'ll take your toy.” 
“If you don\'t give me candy before dinner, I\'ll hit you.”

Has your child made threats like this (or worse ones) when things don\'t go their way? 

Whether it’s yelling, “I’ll never be your friend again!” or threatening to hurt you, hearing these words can stop you in your tracks.

Why do our kids say things like this? Where do they even get the idea to use threats, when we\'ve never said anything like this to them and we don\'t think they\'ve heard it from screen time either?

In this week\'s episode we\'ll dig deeply into these questions, and learn how to respond both in the moment the threat has happened - as well as what to do to reduce future threats.

You’ll hear:
An step-by-step strategy to deal with a real-life example - from the parent whose child said \"If you don\'t lie down with me I will shatter your eyeballs!\"
The phrases we use with our kids that might unintentionally encourage this kind of behavior
Specific, practical tools to use in the moment - and long before tensions escalate

Are you ready to turn these tough moments into opportunities for deeper connection?

Tune in,to the episode today.

And what happens to you when your child threatens you?

Do you lose your mind?

Do you freak out that you might be raising a child who needs help to defuse violent tendencies, and then yell at them because their threats are SO INAPPROPRIATE?

Hopefully this episode reassures you that that isn\'t the case. But that may not eliminate your triggered feelings - because these don\'t always respond to logic.

If you know you need help with your triggers but don\'t know what to do, come to the FREE Why You\'re So Angry With Your Child\'s Age-Appropriate Behavior - and What To Do About It (without stuffing down your feelings and pretending that you aren\'t angry) masterclass.

Finally understand the causes of your triggered feelings and find out how to feel angry less often - in just 36 minutes. Watch the recording anytime it\'s convenient for you, then join me for a FREE LIVE Q&A session and coaching from 10-11:30am Pacific on Thursday February 6. (We\'ll send you a recording in case you can\'t attend - although you have to be there to get your questions answered and win great prizes!)]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[If you don\'t give me a lollipop, I won\'t be your friend anymore.” 
Said to a sibling: “If you don’t come and sit down, I\'ll take your toy.” 
“If you don\'t give me candy before dinner, I\'ll hit you.”

Has your child made threats like this (or worse ones) when things don\'t go their way? 

Whether it’s yelling, “I’ll never be your friend again!” or threatening to hurt you, hearing these words can stop you in your tracks.

Why do our kids say things like this? Where do they even get the idea to use threats, when we\'ve never said anything like this to them and we don\'t think they\'ve heard it from screen time either?

In this week\'s episode we\'ll dig deeply into these questions, and learn how to respond both in the moment the threat has happened - as well as what to do to reduce future threats.

You’ll hear:
An step-by-step strategy to deal with a real-life example - from the parent whose child said \"If you don\'t lie down with me I will shatter your eyeballs!\"
The phrases we use with our kids that might unintentionally encourage this kind of behavior
Specific, practical tools to use in the moment - and long before tensions escalate

Are you ready to turn these tough moments into opportunities for deeper connection?

Tune in,to the episode today.

And what happens to you when your child threatens you?

Do you lose your mind?

Do you freak out that you might be raising a child who needs help to defuse violent tendencies, and then yell at them because their threats are SO INAPPROPRIATE?

Hopefully this episode reassures you that that isn\'t the case. But that may not eliminate your triggered feelings - because these don\'t always respond to logic.

If you know you need help with your triggers but don\'t know what to do, come to the FREE Why You\'re So Angry With Your Child\'s Age-Appropriate Behavior - and What To Do About It (without stuffing down your feelings and pretending that you aren\'t angry) masterclass.

Finally understand the causes of your triggered feelings and find out how to feel angry less often - in just 36 minutes. Watch the recording anytime it\'s convenient for you, then join me for a FREE LIVE Q&A session and coaching from 10-11:30am Pacific on Thursday February 6. (We\'ll send you a recording in case you can\'t attend - although you have to be there to get your questions answered and win great prizes!)]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/e8147be002815658b6d92114ee3e46ee.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='48010000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3146</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030332/childrens-threats-what-they-mean-and-how-to-respond.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030332/childrens-threats-what-they-mean-and-how-to-respond.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >The problem with Time Outs: Why they fail, and what to do Instead</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/the-problem-with-time-outs-why-they-fail-and-what-to-do-instead-1788573898/33030333</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280473</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 19 Jan 2025 22:00:23 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[The Problem with Time Outs: Why They Fail, and What to Do Instead

Recently, in Part 1 - https://youtu.be/kGBxyf6PIXc of this two-part mini-series, we began looking at a question from listener Melissa: 

\"Can time-outs ever have a place in a respectful parenting approach? (And if not, what else am I supposed to do when my kid looks me in the eye and does something he knows he’s not supposed to do?)\" 

That episode looked at the academic research on the effectiveness of time-outs, what else might account for the research that finds them ‘effective,’ and whether time-outs might harm children even if the research says they don’t.

Today’s episode builds on Part 1 by exploring why time outs often fail to address misbehavior effectively - and may harm parent-child relationships.

Key points include:

 We often don’t understand the distinction between misbehavior and emotional distress: Researchers agree that we should use time-outs when children misbehave, but not when they’re emotionally distressed. But what if we aren’t as good at telling the difference between those two states as we think we are?
 Understanding why children do things we tell them not to do: We look specifically at what Melissa’s 3 ½-year-old son is doing - things like poking her face, throwing a toy when she’s told him not to, and dropping food on the floor during dinner, as well as pulling his sister’s hair, and hitting/kicking her.
 How alternatives to time out are even more effective: Even in controlled lab settings, compliance after time-outs often doesn’t exceed 60%. We’ll meet parent Kendra, whose child had an Oppositional Defiant Disorder diagnosis that she no longer believes is true now she’s using the tools we discuss in this episode.

Drawing on research and these real-life stories, this episode offers actionable insights for parents who want effective alternatives to time-outs.

Whether you’re dealing with boundary-testing toddlers or older children’s challenging behaviors, this episode provides tools to help you deal with your child’s misbehavior by creating empathy and trust, rather than disconnection and resentment.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/the-problem-with-time-outs

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parentinghacks #parenting #timeoutsforkids #gentleparenting #parentingtips]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[The Problem with Time Outs: Why They Fail, and What to Do Instead

Recently, in Part 1 - https://youtu.be/kGBxyf6PIXc of this two-part mini-series, we began looking at a question from listener Melissa: 

\"Can time-outs ever have a place in a respectful parenting approach? (And if not, what else am I supposed to do when my kid looks me in the eye and does something he knows he’s not supposed to do?)\" 

That episode looked at the academic research on the effectiveness of time-outs, what else might account for the research that finds them ‘effective,’ and whether time-outs might harm children even if the research says they don’t.

Today’s episode builds on Part 1 by exploring why time outs often fail to address misbehavior effectively - and may harm parent-child relationships.

Key points include:

 We often don’t understand the distinction between misbehavior and emotional distress: Researchers agree that we should use time-outs when children misbehave, but not when they’re emotionally distressed. But what if we aren’t as good at telling the difference between those two states as we think we are?
 Understanding why children do things we tell them not to do: We look specifically at what Melissa’s 3 ½-year-old son is doing - things like poking her face, throwing a toy when she’s told him not to, and dropping food on the floor during dinner, as well as pulling his sister’s hair, and hitting/kicking her.
 How alternatives to time out are even more effective: Even in controlled lab settings, compliance after time-outs often doesn’t exceed 60%. We’ll meet parent Kendra, whose child had an Oppositional Defiant Disorder diagnosis that she no longer believes is true now she’s using the tools we discuss in this episode.

Drawing on research and these real-life stories, this episode offers actionable insights for parents who want effective alternatives to time-outs.

Whether you’re dealing with boundary-testing toddlers or older children’s challenging behaviors, this episode provides tools to help you deal with your child’s misbehavior by creating empathy and trust, rather than disconnection and resentment.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/the-problem-with-time-outs

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parentinghacks #parenting #timeoutsforkids #gentleparenting #parentingtips]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/d30b8d90f261254c7e704d156a92026f.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='32060000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2101</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030333/the-problem-with-time-outs-why-they-fail-and-what-to-do-instead.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030333/the-problem-with-time-outs-why-they-fail-and-what-to-do-instead.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Time Outs: Helpful or harmful? Here’s what the research says</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/time-outs-helpful-or-harmful-heres-what-the-research-says-1788573898/33030334</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280517</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 12 Jan 2025 22:00:25 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Time Outs: Helpful or harmful? Here’s what the research says

Pediatricians and researchers commonly recommend that parents use time outs when kids misbehave. Time outs are promoted as an effective, evidence-based parenting strategy - although the real reason they’re so highly recommended is that they cause less damage to children than hitting.

But if we’re already using respectful/gentle parenting strategies most of the time, could there be any benefit to adding time outs when our children don’t comply with more gentle methods?

This episode delves into the research on:
 Which children and families researchers think time outs are effective for (it’s not the same group of children who are usually study participants!);
 The precise time out script that has been shown to be effective (and why it works);
 Whether time outs harm children or not (this is one of the biggest controversies in the Gentle Parenting world)

If you’ve heard that time out is an effective strategy to gain children’s cooperation but weren’t sure whether it fits with your Gentle Parenting approach, this episode will help you to decide for yourself whether it’s a good fit for you and your family.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/timeoutsforkids

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parentinghacks #parenting #timeoutsforkids #gentleparenting #parentingtips]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Time Outs: Helpful or harmful? Here’s what the research says

Pediatricians and researchers commonly recommend that parents use time outs when kids misbehave. Time outs are promoted as an effective, evidence-based parenting strategy - although the real reason they’re so highly recommended is that they cause less damage to children than hitting.

But if we’re already using respectful/gentle parenting strategies most of the time, could there be any benefit to adding time outs when our children don’t comply with more gentle methods?

This episode delves into the research on:
 Which children and families researchers think time outs are effective for (it’s not the same group of children who are usually study participants!);
 The precise time out script that has been shown to be effective (and why it works);
 Whether time outs harm children or not (this is one of the biggest controversies in the Gentle Parenting world)

If you’ve heard that time out is an effective strategy to gain children’s cooperation but weren’t sure whether it fits with your Gentle Parenting approach, this episode will help you to decide for yourself whether it’s a good fit for you and your family.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/timeoutsforkids

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parentinghacks #parenting #timeoutsforkids #gentleparenting #parentingtips]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/13b8e16bb641c2432ea19d769c476b28.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='52220000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3422</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030334/time-outs-helpful-or-harmful-heres-what-the-research-says.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030334/time-outs-helpful-or-harmful-heres-what-the-research-says.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >10 game-changing parenting hacks - straight from master dog trainers</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/10-game-changing-parenting-hacks-straight-from-master-dog-trainers-1788573898/33030335</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280454</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sat, 04 Jan 2025 21:00:32 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[What Dog Trainers Know That You Don’t!
Ever felt stuck figuring out how to respond to your child’s challenging behavior? What if the key lies in techniques used by master dog trainers?

In this episode, we explore how strategies designed to nurture trust and communication with dogs can help us to see parenting differently.

What you’ll learn:
- How to read your child’s non-verbal cues—just like a dog trainer—and prevent meltdowns.
- Why do dog trainers never rely on yelling—and what they do instead.
- The power of co-regulation to manage big emotions and reduce tantrums.
- Why building trust and consent works wonders for relationships—whether with kids or pups.
- Secrets to staying calm in stressful moments (without shouting or repeating yourself).

This episode ties together the science of behavior with empathy to show that parenting doesn’t have to mean power struggles. By understanding your child’s needs (just like dog trainers learn to understand their dogs), you’ll build a connection that lasts a lifetime.
Don’t miss out on this unique perspective on parenting!

 Love what you’re learning? Support the show and help us keep delivering insightful episodes like this one! https://learn.yourparentingmojo.com/donate

 Ready to test your parenting instincts? Take our free quiz to see how these strategies could work for you! https://yourparentingmojo.com/quiz/

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/dogtraining

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parentinghacks #parenting #gentleparenting #dogtraining]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[What Dog Trainers Know That You Don’t!
Ever felt stuck figuring out how to respond to your child’s challenging behavior? What if the key lies in techniques used by master dog trainers?

In this episode, we explore how strategies designed to nurture trust and communication with dogs can help us to see parenting differently.

What you’ll learn:
- How to read your child’s non-verbal cues—just like a dog trainer—and prevent meltdowns.
- Why do dog trainers never rely on yelling—and what they do instead.
- The power of co-regulation to manage big emotions and reduce tantrums.
- Why building trust and consent works wonders for relationships—whether with kids or pups.
- Secrets to staying calm in stressful moments (without shouting or repeating yourself).

This episode ties together the science of behavior with empathy to show that parenting doesn’t have to mean power struggles. By understanding your child’s needs (just like dog trainers learn to understand their dogs), you’ll build a connection that lasts a lifetime.
Don’t miss out on this unique perspective on parenting!

 Love what you’re learning? Support the show and help us keep delivering insightful episodes like this one! https://learn.yourparentingmojo.com/donate

 Ready to test your parenting instincts? Take our free quiz to see how these strategies could work for you! https://yourparentingmojo.com/quiz/

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/dogtraining

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parentinghacks #parenting #gentleparenting #dogtraining]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/d9832030dbdad3337de7aed7fa039e3c.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='45270000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2966</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030335/10-game-changing-parenting-hacks-straight-from-master-dog-trainers.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030335/10-game-changing-parenting-hacks-straight-from-master-dog-trainers.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to support baby’s development after a Wonder Week</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-support-babys-development-after-a-wonder-week-1788573898/33030336</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280481</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 15 Dec 2024 22:00:27 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[In Part 2 of our Wonder Weeks series, we’re exploring how to support your baby’s development once a Wonder Week has passed. Is there a predictable schedule to follow, or is your baby’s crying tied to something unique?

In this episode, we’ll dive into:
 What research says about crying and developmental stages.
 The cultural influences behind parenting decisions and baby care.
 Strategies to support your baby through challenging times, Wonder Week or not.
 Ways to handle stress and ensure both you and your baby thrive.

Whether your baby follows the Wonder Weeks timeline or forges their own path, this episode equips you with the insights and tools you need to nurture their growth.

Ready to start your parenting journey with confidence?

Explore Right From The Start and prepare for a smoother, more empowered first year with your baby!
Learn more here - https://yourparentingmojo.com/rightfromthestart/

#podcast #parentingpodcast #yourchildren #fypシ゚viral #parentaleducation #yourfamily #gentleparenting #parentingtips #wonderweeks #baby #babieswonderful #babies]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[In Part 2 of our Wonder Weeks series, we’re exploring how to support your baby’s development once a Wonder Week has passed. Is there a predictable schedule to follow, or is your baby’s crying tied to something unique?

In this episode, we’ll dive into:
 What research says about crying and developmental stages.
 The cultural influences behind parenting decisions and baby care.
 Strategies to support your baby through challenging times, Wonder Week or not.
 Ways to handle stress and ensure both you and your baby thrive.

Whether your baby follows the Wonder Weeks timeline or forges their own path, this episode equips you with the insights and tools you need to nurture their growth.

Ready to start your parenting journey with confidence?

Explore Right From The Start and prepare for a smoother, more empowered first year with your baby!
Learn more here - https://yourparentingmojo.com/rightfromthestart/

#podcast #parentingpodcast #yourchildren #fypシ゚viral #parentaleducation #yourfamily #gentleparenting #parentingtips #wonderweeks #baby #babieswonderful #babies]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/046a5ca47edd31527e4f8db100618c3c.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='55620000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3644</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030336/how-to-support-babys-development-after-a-wonder-week.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030336/how-to-support-babys-development-after-a-wonder-week.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Do all babies have Wonder Weeks? Here\&apos;s what the research says</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/do-all-babies-have-wonder-weeks-heres-what-the-research-says-1788573898/33030337</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280474</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sat, 30 Nov 2024 22:00:01 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[The Science of Why Babies Cry More and What Parents Need to Know

You may have noticed that your baby sometimes seems calm and relaxed…and then goes through a ‘fussy’ phase, where they seem to cry no matter what you do. Do these fussy phases happen on a predictable schedule? Is it predictable for all babies…and for all parents?

In this episode, we dive into the research behind the theory of the Wonder Weeks, as described in the books and app. This popular concept suggests that all babies experience predictable periods of fussiness in preparation for going through developmental ‘leaps,’ but the science behind it may be much more limited than you expect. We break down the available research, explain why babies might cry more at certain stages, and help parents understand the truth about these so-called Wonder Weeks.

What topics do we cover?
 How Wonder Weeks became a popular theory
 What actual research says about baby crying phases
 Ways to support your baby during fussy times, whether or not Wonder Weeks apply

By the end, you’ll feel more informed about why babies cry and have a clearer idea of whether Wonder Weeks is a useful tool for understanding your baby’s needs.

If you’re expecting a baby or have a child under the age of one, you’re likely feeling a mix of excitement and overwhelm. The Right From The Start course is designed to give you the tools and confidence you need to navigate those early months with ease. Whether it’s sleep, feeding, play, or your baby’s development, this course offers evidence-based guidance that helps you understand your baby’s needs during key stages, including those fussy \"Wonder Weeks\" moments.

In the Right From The Start course, you’ll learn exactly how to support your baby during these challenging times, and how to create a secure, loving environment that nurtures their growth at every stage.

What you’ll get from Right From The Start:
 Practical advice for sleep, feeding, and developmental milestones—especially during those Wonder Weeks!
 Insights into how your baby’s brain develops, and what’s really going on during those early (and sometimes challenging) months.
 Tools for managing routine activities like diapering, dressing, and communication, with strategies that align with your baby’s natural development.Beyond the knowledge, you’ll also gain access to a supportive community of parents who are navigating the same challenges, so you never have to feel alone.

Lear more about Right From The Start here - https://yourparentingmojo.com/rightfromthestart/

#podcast #parentingpodcast #yourchildren #fypシ゚viral #parentaleducation #yourfamily #gentleparenting #parentingtips #wonderweeks #baby #babies]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[The Science of Why Babies Cry More and What Parents Need to Know

You may have noticed that your baby sometimes seems calm and relaxed…and then goes through a ‘fussy’ phase, where they seem to cry no matter what you do. Do these fussy phases happen on a predictable schedule? Is it predictable for all babies…and for all parents?

In this episode, we dive into the research behind the theory of the Wonder Weeks, as described in the books and app. This popular concept suggests that all babies experience predictable periods of fussiness in preparation for going through developmental ‘leaps,’ but the science behind it may be much more limited than you expect. We break down the available research, explain why babies might cry more at certain stages, and help parents understand the truth about these so-called Wonder Weeks.

What topics do we cover?
 How Wonder Weeks became a popular theory
 What actual research says about baby crying phases
 Ways to support your baby during fussy times, whether or not Wonder Weeks apply

By the end, you’ll feel more informed about why babies cry and have a clearer idea of whether Wonder Weeks is a useful tool for understanding your baby’s needs.

If you’re expecting a baby or have a child under the age of one, you’re likely feeling a mix of excitement and overwhelm. The Right From The Start course is designed to give you the tools and confidence you need to navigate those early months with ease. Whether it’s sleep, feeding, play, or your baby’s development, this course offers evidence-based guidance that helps you understand your baby’s needs during key stages, including those fussy \"Wonder Weeks\" moments.

In the Right From The Start course, you’ll learn exactly how to support your baby during these challenging times, and how to create a secure, loving environment that nurtures their growth at every stage.

What you’ll get from Right From The Start:
 Practical advice for sleep, feeding, and developmental milestones—especially during those Wonder Weeks!
 Insights into how your baby’s brain develops, and what’s really going on during those early (and sometimes challenging) months.
 Tools for managing routine activities like diapering, dressing, and communication, with strategies that align with your baby’s natural development.Beyond the knowledge, you’ll also gain access to a supportive community of parents who are navigating the same challenges, so you never have to feel alone.

Lear more about Right From The Start here - https://yourparentingmojo.com/rightfromthestart/

#podcast #parentingpodcast #yourchildren #fypシ゚viral #parentaleducation #yourfamily #gentleparenting #parentingtips #wonderweeks #baby #babies]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/f97492103af5934b1110891324e63590.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='55510000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3637</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030337/do-all-babies-have-wonder-weeks-heres-what-the-research-says.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030337/do-all-babies-have-wonder-weeks-heres-what-the-research-says.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Parenting Through Menopause - Discover Your Wise Power!</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/parenting-through-menopause-discover-your-wise-power-1788573898/33030338</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280398</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Thu, 07 Nov 2024 01:11:10 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Today, we’re diving into a topic that many parents may face but rarely talk about openly: navigating menopause while raising young kids. If you’ve been wondering how to balance parenting with the changes menopause brings, this episode is for you.

In our first interview on Menstrual Cycle Awareness, we explored how menstruation impacts our lives. Today, we’re thrilled to welcome back our wonderful guests, Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer, for a second interview focusing on menopause. Alexandra Pope, Co-Founder of Red School and Co-Author of Wild Power and Wise Power, is a pioneer in menstruality education and awareness. With over 30 years of experience, Alexandra believes that each stage of the menstrual journey—from the first period to menopause and beyond—holds a unique power. Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer, also Co-Founder of Red School and Co-Author of Wild Power and Wise Power, is a psychotherapist and menstrual cycle educator. She is passionate about helping people understand and honor their natural rhythms, using menstrual cycle awareness as a tool for self-care and empowerment.

In this conversation, they’ll share their insights on embracing menopause as a time of empowerment rather than something to simply endure. They introduce us to their concept of “Wild Power,” a strength that arises from understanding and honoring your body’s natural rhythms through every stage of life.

Why Menopause Matters in Parenting

When we have kids a bit on the \'later\' side, we may find ourselves dealing with perimenopause - when our body prepares for menopause - as we\'re raising young children. This experience can bring challenges, like feeling more tired or dealing with mood changes, but it also offers us new ways to grow and find our inner strength. Alexandra and Sjanie show us how we can be more understanding and open with ourselves and others as we go through this time of change.

What You\'ll Learn in This Episode:

What is Menopause? Alexandra and Sjanie explain what menopause and perimenopause are and how these natural changes affect us physically and emotionally;
The Wild Power Within: Discover how your unique energy can be a guiding force in both your personal life and in parenting;
Tools to Support Yourself: Simple ways to be kinder to yourself, balance rest with activity, and embrace each phase with a sense of discovery;
Reconnecting with Yourself: Learn how you can stay grounded and connected to your inner self as you navigate the ups and downs of menopause.

Listen in to this powerful conversation that might just change the way you think about parenting—and about yourself.

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #menopause #menstruation #parenting]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Today, we’re diving into a topic that many parents may face but rarely talk about openly: navigating menopause while raising young kids. If you’ve been wondering how to balance parenting with the changes menopause brings, this episode is for you.

In our first interview on Menstrual Cycle Awareness, we explored how menstruation impacts our lives. Today, we’re thrilled to welcome back our wonderful guests, Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer, for a second interview focusing on menopause. Alexandra Pope, Co-Founder of Red School and Co-Author of Wild Power and Wise Power, is a pioneer in menstruality education and awareness. With over 30 years of experience, Alexandra believes that each stage of the menstrual journey—from the first period to menopause and beyond—holds a unique power. Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer, also Co-Founder of Red School and Co-Author of Wild Power and Wise Power, is a psychotherapist and menstrual cycle educator. She is passionate about helping people understand and honor their natural rhythms, using menstrual cycle awareness as a tool for self-care and empowerment.

In this conversation, they’ll share their insights on embracing menopause as a time of empowerment rather than something to simply endure. They introduce us to their concept of “Wild Power,” a strength that arises from understanding and honoring your body’s natural rhythms through every stage of life.

Why Menopause Matters in Parenting

When we have kids a bit on the \'later\' side, we may find ourselves dealing with perimenopause - when our body prepares for menopause - as we\'re raising young children. This experience can bring challenges, like feeling more tired or dealing with mood changes, but it also offers us new ways to grow and find our inner strength. Alexandra and Sjanie show us how we can be more understanding and open with ourselves and others as we go through this time of change.

What You\'ll Learn in This Episode:

What is Menopause? Alexandra and Sjanie explain what menopause and perimenopause are and how these natural changes affect us physically and emotionally;
The Wild Power Within: Discover how your unique energy can be a guiding force in both your personal life and in parenting;
Tools to Support Yourself: Simple ways to be kinder to yourself, balance rest with activity, and embrace each phase with a sense of discovery;
Reconnecting with Yourself: Learn how you can stay grounded and connected to your inner self as you navigate the ups and downs of menopause.

Listen in to this powerful conversation that might just change the way you think about parenting—and about yourself.

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #menopause #menstruation #parenting]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/dd280544f78978ebaf25319328a0a2cf.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='54600000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3577</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030338/parenting-through-menopause-discover-your-wise-power.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030338/parenting-through-menopause-discover-your-wise-power.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Where emotions come from (and why it matters) Part 2 with Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett and Akiko</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/where-emotions-come-from-and-why-it-matters-part-2-with-dr-lisa-feldman-barrett-and-akiko-1788573898/33030339</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280391</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 20 Oct 2024 22:00:10 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[In our last conversation with Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett https://youtu.be/JPR3puMZ2xI a couple of weeks ago we looked at her theory of where emotions originate. This has important implications for things like:
- How our \'body budgets\' affect our feelings
- How we make meaning from our feelings so our internal experience makes sense
- That we don\'t always understand other people\'s feelings very well!

The introduction to the theory plus the conversation plus the take-home messages would have made for an unwieldy episode, so I split it in half. 

Today we conclude the conversation with Dr. Barrett and I also offer some thoughts about things I think are really important from across the two episodes, including:
- What we can do with the information our feelings give us
- How long we should support children in feeling their feelings (given that they don\'t always mean what we think they mean!) and when we should help them move on
- Some tools we can use to re-regulate in difficult moments with our kids]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[In our last conversation with Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett https://youtu.be/JPR3puMZ2xI a couple of weeks ago we looked at her theory of where emotions originate. This has important implications for things like:
- How our \'body budgets\' affect our feelings
- How we make meaning from our feelings so our internal experience makes sense
- That we don\'t always understand other people\'s feelings very well!

The introduction to the theory plus the conversation plus the take-home messages would have made for an unwieldy episode, so I split it in half. 

Today we conclude the conversation with Dr. Barrett and I also offer some thoughts about things I think are really important from across the two episodes, including:
- What we can do with the information our feelings give us
- How long we should support children in feeling their feelings (given that they don\'t always mean what we think they mean!) and when we should help them move on
- Some tools we can use to re-regulate in difficult moments with our kids]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/3179cac8fb9d0beb13ad7b67f1bc8510.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='45780000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3028</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030339/where-emotions-come-from-and-why-it-matters-part-2-with-dr-lisa-feldman-barrett-and-akiko.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030339/where-emotions-come-from-and-why-it-matters-part-2-with-dr-lisa-feldman-barrett-and-akiko.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Where emotions come from (and why it matters) Part 1 with Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett and Akiko</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/where-emotions-come-from-and-why-it-matters-part-1-with-dr-lisa-feldman-barrett-and-akiko-1788573898/33030340</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280514</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 06 Oct 2024 22:00:21 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Have you ever wondered where our emotions come from? 
Do you think that if you look at a person’s face, you can have a pretty good idea of how they’re feeling? 

But at the same time, do your child’s feelings seem mysterious to you, like you can’t figure them out?

Listener Akiko introduced me to Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett\'s theory of where our emotions come from, and I found it fascinating. It presents compelling evidence that the ways we\'ve thought about emotions up to now may be entirely wrong.

We might think we can match a specific arrangement of facial features (like a scowl) with a particular emotion (like anger), but not everyone scowls when they\'re angry and people also scowl when they aren\'t angry. 
We tend to infer characteristics about our child from things like their tone, so we might hear a \'snarky\' tone and think: \"My child doesn\'t respect me,\" when actually they\'re feeling hurt because their need for consideration hasn\'t been met. 

And sometimes there isn\'t a deep psychological reason why they\'re having big emotions...sometimes it\'s a challenge in balancing what Dr. Barrett calls their \'body budget\' (and some of our big emotions come from challenges in balancing our body budgets as well).

Dr. Barrett is the author of over 275 peer-reviewed articles on the topic of emotions and is among the top 0.1% of cited scientists in the world, so it was a real honor to speak with her about how our emotions are made...and what this means for:
-How we make meaning out of our emotions (which is critical to understanding the trauma we\'ve experienced)
-How we talk with kids about emotions (\"You hit Johnny and now he\'s feeling sad\" might not be the best way to do this);
-What to do with big emotional expressions that seem to \'come out of nowhere\' - which actually happens fairly rarely.

This episode opens with me defining Dr. Barrett\'s theory of emotions so we didn\'t have to waste 20 minutes of our precious hour together to do that. I also wanted to share my thoughts on the implications of these ideas for our families and the episode would have been too long so I split it in half.

 In this episode you\'ll hear the introduction to the theory, half of the conversation with Dr. Barrett, and my thoughts on what we\'ve heard so far.
In an upcoming episode we\'ll hear the second half of the interview as well as my overarching take-aways from across the two episodes. 

And just a reminder that if you\'re having your own big emotional reactions in response to your child\'s difficult (but age-appropriate) behavior, there are real reasons for that. 

We discuss meaning-making in the conversation with Dr. Barrett: in the Taming Your Triggers workshop we focus heavily on making meaning out of your experience. Whether you\'ve experienced trauma and need help seeing the connections between your experiences and your triggered feelings towards your children, or if you need help with your body budgeting today, in Taming Your Triggers we\'ll help you to:
-Feel triggered less often;
-Find ways to meet your needs - and your child\'s needs - on a much more regular basis;
-Learn how to repair effectively with your child on the (far fewer!) occasions when things didn\'t go the way you would have hoped.

Sign up now, and we\'ll get started on Monday October 14 - so we can finish in time for you to actually enjoy the holidays this year. 

Enrollment closes very soon!]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Have you ever wondered where our emotions come from? 
Do you think that if you look at a person’s face, you can have a pretty good idea of how they’re feeling? 

But at the same time, do your child’s feelings seem mysterious to you, like you can’t figure them out?

Listener Akiko introduced me to Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett\'s theory of where our emotions come from, and I found it fascinating. It presents compelling evidence that the ways we\'ve thought about emotions up to now may be entirely wrong.

We might think we can match a specific arrangement of facial features (like a scowl) with a particular emotion (like anger), but not everyone scowls when they\'re angry and people also scowl when they aren\'t angry. 
We tend to infer characteristics about our child from things like their tone, so we might hear a \'snarky\' tone and think: \"My child doesn\'t respect me,\" when actually they\'re feeling hurt because their need for consideration hasn\'t been met. 

And sometimes there isn\'t a deep psychological reason why they\'re having big emotions...sometimes it\'s a challenge in balancing what Dr. Barrett calls their \'body budget\' (and some of our big emotions come from challenges in balancing our body budgets as well).

Dr. Barrett is the author of over 275 peer-reviewed articles on the topic of emotions and is among the top 0.1% of cited scientists in the world, so it was a real honor to speak with her about how our emotions are made...and what this means for:
-How we make meaning out of our emotions (which is critical to understanding the trauma we\'ve experienced)
-How we talk with kids about emotions (\"You hit Johnny and now he\'s feeling sad\" might not be the best way to do this);
-What to do with big emotional expressions that seem to \'come out of nowhere\' - which actually happens fairly rarely.

This episode opens with me defining Dr. Barrett\'s theory of emotions so we didn\'t have to waste 20 minutes of our precious hour together to do that. I also wanted to share my thoughts on the implications of these ideas for our families and the episode would have been too long so I split it in half.

 In this episode you\'ll hear the introduction to the theory, half of the conversation with Dr. Barrett, and my thoughts on what we\'ve heard so far.
In an upcoming episode we\'ll hear the second half of the interview as well as my overarching take-aways from across the two episodes. 

And just a reminder that if you\'re having your own big emotional reactions in response to your child\'s difficult (but age-appropriate) behavior, there are real reasons for that. 

We discuss meaning-making in the conversation with Dr. Barrett: in the Taming Your Triggers workshop we focus heavily on making meaning out of your experience. Whether you\'ve experienced trauma and need help seeing the connections between your experiences and your triggered feelings towards your children, or if you need help with your body budgeting today, in Taming Your Triggers we\'ll help you to:
-Feel triggered less often;
-Find ways to meet your needs - and your child\'s needs - on a much more regular basis;
-Learn how to repair effectively with your child on the (far fewer!) occasions when things didn\'t go the way you would have hoped.

Sign up now, and we\'ll get started on Monday October 14 - so we can finish in time for you to actually enjoy the holidays this year. 

Enrollment closes very soon!]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/b72755e56467a5d13b4b05dbb9743059.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='47440000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3108</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030340/where-emotions-come-from-and-why-it-matters-part-1-with-dr-lisa-feldman-barrett-and-akiko.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030340/where-emotions-come-from-and-why-it-matters-part-1-with-dr-lisa-feldman-barrett-and-akiko.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to stop shaming your child</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-stop-shaming-your-child-1788573898/33030341</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280410</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 30 Sep 2024 15:33:27 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[I know it can be really (really) difficult to bridge the gap between being the kind of parent we want to be, and the kind of parent we\'re able to be in the moments when our kids do things we find difficult.

We might know that we want our kids to receive a message of unconditional love and acceptance, but when they do something like hitting their sibling and we respond: \"Why would you DO that?!\", or handle them roughly, or even spank them, that the message they are receiving may not be one of unconditional love and acceptance.

Parent Jody joined the Parenting Membership and in the moments when he was able to stay regulated, the new tools helped him to navigate his kids\' behavior more effectively. But when he got triggered by something like sibling hitting (because seeing a child get hit is triggering when you were hit as a child), then he would default back to what he called \"autopilot parenting,\" and he would yell at his kids, shame them, and spank them - just like his parents had done to him.

So he signed up for the Taming Your Triggers workshop, and in just a few weeks, Jody started to share his \'wins.\'

There was the time he was able to create a pause when his kids started fighting in the back seat instead of exploding at them.

He was able to identify his needs, and his children\'s needs when they were throwing water out of the bath all over the floor, and find a strategy that met both of their needs.

And then there was the time when his son had smuggled four of his bedtime toys under his school uniform to the car, and Jody immediately saw that his wife was having a hard time because she didn\'t want the toys to be dirty, and she also didn\'t want the bedtime shit-show that was going to happen if the toys were still in the wash.

His initial attempt to help his wife fell flat, and she angrily said: \"Don\'t talk to me like a child!\". He regrouped, and the phrase he used to defuse the situation deeply touched many of us in the Taming Your Triggers community when he shared it with us. He found a way to meet THREE people\'s needs in that situation, and was justifiably proud of himself. 

If you want your kids to experience unconditional love and acceptance but you don\'t know how to make that happen in the difficult moments, I\'d so love to work with you in the Taming Your Triggers workshop. 

I know it\'s risky to put yourself out there and admit that you\'re having a hard time. 

There\'s always the concern that these tools might work for Jody, and still not work for you - you might have some failing that means you can\'t use the tools, even if they work for other parents.

You might also worry that the tools won\'t work for your neurodivergent/sensitive/etc. kid. 

I totally get those concerns. And...at the end of the day, we\'re all people - and all people have needs. I can help you heal from the hurts you\'ve experienced and get your needs met more of the time, and then you\'ll feel triggered less often. I\'m so confident about this that I guarantee it - if you aren\'t happy with your experience in the workshop for any reason, at any time, we\'ll give you 100% of your money back. (Plus we have multiple pricing options to make it affordable in the first place).

And as an extra bonus for you: Jody will be a peer coach in the Taming Your Triggers workshop this time around - because sometimes the person you learn from most effectively is the person who was standing where you are right now just a year ago.

Sign up here - https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers/

#podcast #parentingpodcast #yourchildren #fypシ゚viral #parentaleducation #yourfamily #gentleparenting #parentingtips #shame]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[I know it can be really (really) difficult to bridge the gap between being the kind of parent we want to be, and the kind of parent we\'re able to be in the moments when our kids do things we find difficult.

We might know that we want our kids to receive a message of unconditional love and acceptance, but when they do something like hitting their sibling and we respond: \"Why would you DO that?!\", or handle them roughly, or even spank them, that the message they are receiving may not be one of unconditional love and acceptance.

Parent Jody joined the Parenting Membership and in the moments when he was able to stay regulated, the new tools helped him to navigate his kids\' behavior more effectively. But when he got triggered by something like sibling hitting (because seeing a child get hit is triggering when you were hit as a child), then he would default back to what he called \"autopilot parenting,\" and he would yell at his kids, shame them, and spank them - just like his parents had done to him.

So he signed up for the Taming Your Triggers workshop, and in just a few weeks, Jody started to share his \'wins.\'

There was the time he was able to create a pause when his kids started fighting in the back seat instead of exploding at them.

He was able to identify his needs, and his children\'s needs when they were throwing water out of the bath all over the floor, and find a strategy that met both of their needs.

And then there was the time when his son had smuggled four of his bedtime toys under his school uniform to the car, and Jody immediately saw that his wife was having a hard time because she didn\'t want the toys to be dirty, and she also didn\'t want the bedtime shit-show that was going to happen if the toys were still in the wash.

His initial attempt to help his wife fell flat, and she angrily said: \"Don\'t talk to me like a child!\". He regrouped, and the phrase he used to defuse the situation deeply touched many of us in the Taming Your Triggers community when he shared it with us. He found a way to meet THREE people\'s needs in that situation, and was justifiably proud of himself. 

If you want your kids to experience unconditional love and acceptance but you don\'t know how to make that happen in the difficult moments, I\'d so love to work with you in the Taming Your Triggers workshop. 

I know it\'s risky to put yourself out there and admit that you\'re having a hard time. 

There\'s always the concern that these tools might work for Jody, and still not work for you - you might have some failing that means you can\'t use the tools, even if they work for other parents.

You might also worry that the tools won\'t work for your neurodivergent/sensitive/etc. kid. 

I totally get those concerns. And...at the end of the day, we\'re all people - and all people have needs. I can help you heal from the hurts you\'ve experienced and get your needs met more of the time, and then you\'ll feel triggered less often. I\'m so confident about this that I guarantee it - if you aren\'t happy with your experience in the workshop for any reason, at any time, we\'ll give you 100% of your money back. (Plus we have multiple pricing options to make it affordable in the first place).

And as an extra bonus for you: Jody will be a peer coach in the Taming Your Triggers workshop this time around - because sometimes the person you learn from most effectively is the person who was standing where you are right now just a year ago.

Sign up here - https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers/

#podcast #parentingpodcast #yourchildren #fypシ゚viral #parentaleducation #yourfamily #gentleparenting #parentingtips #shame]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/1cf3943adf0b3f7a9f0053c98f9510bb.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='50000000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3276</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030341/how-to-stop-shaming-your-child.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030341/how-to-stop-shaming-your-child.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to heal your Mom Rage with Minna Dubin and Katie</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-heal-your-mom-rage-with-minna-dubin-and-katie-1788573898/33030342</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280424</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 22 Sep 2024 22:00:01 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[There are several books available on mom rage by now. They tend to follow a predictable formula: a journalist interviews a bunch of parents and makes sweeping pronouncements about how anger-inducing it is to be a Mom, interspersed with anecdotes about terrible things they’ve said and done to their children.

They usually end with a call for free childcare, universal parental leave, and more support for Moms’ mental health. (Yes to all of those things, obviously.)

There are far fewer books that try to make connections between our experiences and why it’s happening, and that actually make practical suggestions for concrete practices we can try to cope with our rage more effectively right now - along with a sense of hope that we could actually make these policy changes happen in our lifetimes.

Minna Dubin’s book Mom Rage (which I found out about because our local Berkeley newspaper covered both of our books when they were published!) does all of those things.

I read it and liked it and started recommending it when relevant topics came up on coaching calls in the Parenting Membership, and parent Katie fell in love with it.

Katie didn’t even think the term ‘mom rage’ applied to her - but when she read the descriptions of raging moms, she found herself (mentally) shouting: “YES! That’s ME!”.

I’m so grateful that both Minna and Katie could join me for this deep conversation on where Mom Rage comes from, and what we can do about it.

We’ll do some shame-busting work together so you can know that you aren’t alone in experiencing rage, and that you don’t have to be alone in addressing it either.

If you experience Mom Rage and know you need help, I’d love to see you in a special FREE ‘flipped classroom’ masterclass this coming Friday September 27. 

When you sign up, you’ll receive a recording of a previous year’s presentation on Why You Feel So Angry with Your Child’s Behavior - and What to Do About It. Watch at your convenience before Friday and then join me for 90 minutes of live coaching, Q&A, and deep discussion. It’ll be fun, and enlightening, and healing! I can’t wait to see you there.

You’ll get:
A new understanding of why you feel triggered by your child’s age-appropriate behavior
Concrete strategies you can put into practice IMMEDIATELY to feel triggered less often
A sense of community with other parents, and a powerful feeling that you are not alone in this struggle
A coupon code for a discount off the 10-week Taming Your Triggers workshop (enrollment opens September 29 but there will be a special early enrollment available with that coupon for people on the live call)
Some really special never-done-this-before giveaways during the live masterclass

You’ll also get a coupon code for a discount off the 10-week Taming Your Triggers workshop which opens for enrollment on the 29th, and we’ll have some really special never-done-this-before kind of giveaways during the live masterclass. You have to be there to win!

Sign up here - https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers/

#podcast #parentingpodcast #yourchildren #fypシ゚viral #parentaleducation #yourfamily #gentleparenting #parentingtips #mom #rage #minnadubin]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[There are several books available on mom rage by now. They tend to follow a predictable formula: a journalist interviews a bunch of parents and makes sweeping pronouncements about how anger-inducing it is to be a Mom, interspersed with anecdotes about terrible things they’ve said and done to their children.

They usually end with a call for free childcare, universal parental leave, and more support for Moms’ mental health. (Yes to all of those things, obviously.)

There are far fewer books that try to make connections between our experiences and why it’s happening, and that actually make practical suggestions for concrete practices we can try to cope with our rage more effectively right now - along with a sense of hope that we could actually make these policy changes happen in our lifetimes.

Minna Dubin’s book Mom Rage (which I found out about because our local Berkeley newspaper covered both of our books when they were published!) does all of those things.

I read it and liked it and started recommending it when relevant topics came up on coaching calls in the Parenting Membership, and parent Katie fell in love with it.

Katie didn’t even think the term ‘mom rage’ applied to her - but when she read the descriptions of raging moms, she found herself (mentally) shouting: “YES! That’s ME!”.

I’m so grateful that both Minna and Katie could join me for this deep conversation on where Mom Rage comes from, and what we can do about it.

We’ll do some shame-busting work together so you can know that you aren’t alone in experiencing rage, and that you don’t have to be alone in addressing it either.

If you experience Mom Rage and know you need help, I’d love to see you in a special FREE ‘flipped classroom’ masterclass this coming Friday September 27. 

When you sign up, you’ll receive a recording of a previous year’s presentation on Why You Feel So Angry with Your Child’s Behavior - and What to Do About It. Watch at your convenience before Friday and then join me for 90 minutes of live coaching, Q&A, and deep discussion. It’ll be fun, and enlightening, and healing! I can’t wait to see you there.

You’ll get:
A new understanding of why you feel triggered by your child’s age-appropriate behavior
Concrete strategies you can put into practice IMMEDIATELY to feel triggered less often
A sense of community with other parents, and a powerful feeling that you are not alone in this struggle
A coupon code for a discount off the 10-week Taming Your Triggers workshop (enrollment opens September 29 but there will be a special early enrollment available with that coupon for people on the live call)
Some really special never-done-this-before giveaways during the live masterclass

You’ll also get a coupon code for a discount off the 10-week Taming Your Triggers workshop which opens for enrollment on the 29th, and we’ll have some really special never-done-this-before kind of giveaways during the live masterclass. You have to be there to win!

Sign up here - https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers/

#podcast #parentingpodcast #yourchildren #fypシ゚viral #parentaleducation #yourfamily #gentleparenting #parentingtips #mom #rage #minnadubin]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/8a10c8f2dcb3182de9e053c9f3d10101.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='60700000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3977</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030342/how-to-heal-your-mom-rage-with-minna-dubin-and-katie.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030342/how-to-heal-your-mom-rage-with-minna-dubin-and-katie.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Am I damaging my child?</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/am-i-damaging-my-child-1788573898/33030343</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280431</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sat, 14 Sep 2024 22:00:20 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Today\'s episode comes from listener who submitted an emotional voicemail on the Ask Jen a Question button on the Your Parenting Mojo homepage, which boils down to:

Am I damaging my child?

The messages you can leave are limited to two minutes in length, so we get just a taste of what the parent is struggling with: a difficult relationship with their neurodivergent son, because he triggers the parent and then the parent feels triggered again by the guilt and shame that some of the challenges the son is facing might be the parent\'s fault.

In this episode I walk though neuropsychologist R. Douglas Fields\' LIFEMORTS framework of rage triggers - because if we understand the kinds of things that trigger us, we can avoid some of those triggers entirely and then see the rest of them coming and resource ourselves before they arrive. 

I link these rage triggers with broader social issues that we may be carrying in the backs of our minds without even realizing it, and the energy it takes to constantly manage our thoughts about these issues is energy we don\'t have to spend meeting our children\'s needs - or our needs.

I also offer a set of three steps you can use to help you navigate triggering situations with your children more effectively.

If you see that your relationship with your child isn\'t where you want it to be because you:
Speak to them in a tone or using words that you would never let other people use with your child...
Are rougher with their bodies than you know you should be when you feel frustrated...
Feel guilt and/or shame about how they\'re experiencing your words and actions, even though your intentions are never to hurt them...
...the Taming Your Triggers workshop will help you.

Enrollment opens very soon, on Sunday September 29. 
Before that happens we also have a unique opportunity for you - a FREE \'flipped classroom\' masterclass, where we\'ll send you the recording of the masterclass: Why You\'re So Angry With Your Child\'s Behavior, which you can watch anytime before Friday September 27. 

Join us on the 27th and we\'ll have 90 minutes to do some really deep group coaching and Q&A on effective strategies to tame your triggers. I\'ll only remind you of the contents of the recording very briefly; I won\'t do a formal presentation and we\'ll be in a Zoom meeting where we can easily talk with each other, which will be much more interesting and fun than a webinar!

Sign up for the FREE masterclass, as well as a coupon code for the Taming Your Triggers workshop when enrollment opens, by joining the Taming Your Triggers workshop waitlist: https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers/

#podcast #parentingpodcast #yourchildren #fypシ゚viral #parentaleducation #yourfamily #gentleparenting #parentingtips]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Today\'s episode comes from listener who submitted an emotional voicemail on the Ask Jen a Question button on the Your Parenting Mojo homepage, which boils down to:

Am I damaging my child?

The messages you can leave are limited to two minutes in length, so we get just a taste of what the parent is struggling with: a difficult relationship with their neurodivergent son, because he triggers the parent and then the parent feels triggered again by the guilt and shame that some of the challenges the son is facing might be the parent\'s fault.

In this episode I walk though neuropsychologist R. Douglas Fields\' LIFEMORTS framework of rage triggers - because if we understand the kinds of things that trigger us, we can avoid some of those triggers entirely and then see the rest of them coming and resource ourselves before they arrive. 

I link these rage triggers with broader social issues that we may be carrying in the backs of our minds without even realizing it, and the energy it takes to constantly manage our thoughts about these issues is energy we don\'t have to spend meeting our children\'s needs - or our needs.

I also offer a set of three steps you can use to help you navigate triggering situations with your children more effectively.

If you see that your relationship with your child isn\'t where you want it to be because you:
Speak to them in a tone or using words that you would never let other people use with your child...
Are rougher with their bodies than you know you should be when you feel frustrated...
Feel guilt and/or shame about how they\'re experiencing your words and actions, even though your intentions are never to hurt them...
...the Taming Your Triggers workshop will help you.

Enrollment opens very soon, on Sunday September 29. 
Before that happens we also have a unique opportunity for you - a FREE \'flipped classroom\' masterclass, where we\'ll send you the recording of the masterclass: Why You\'re So Angry With Your Child\'s Behavior, which you can watch anytime before Friday September 27. 

Join us on the 27th and we\'ll have 90 minutes to do some really deep group coaching and Q&A on effective strategies to tame your triggers. I\'ll only remind you of the contents of the recording very briefly; I won\'t do a formal presentation and we\'ll be in a Zoom meeting where we can easily talk with each other, which will be much more interesting and fun than a webinar!

Sign up for the FREE masterclass, as well as a coupon code for the Taming Your Triggers workshop when enrollment opens, by joining the Taming Your Triggers workshop waitlist: https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers/

#podcast #parentingpodcast #yourchildren #fypシ゚viral #parentaleducation #yourfamily #gentleparenting #parentingtips]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/54c4e2d54b25f15808f7cc6c50ca0a63.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='54890000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3597</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030343/am-i-damaging-my-child.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030343/am-i-damaging-my-child.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >What, Why, and How to Parent Beyond Power</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/what-why-and-how-to-parent-beyond-power-1788573898/33030344</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280511</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Thu, 05 Sep 2024 18:00:33 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[I know that when you start using new parenting tools, things don\'t always go according to plan. Your kids don\'t say what you think they will, or maybe you perceive that their behavior is just kind of crappy, or maybe your partner isn\'t on board with your ideas.

In this episode I address what to do about all of these challenges, as well as how to use the tools I work with to address difficult topics like children wanting ever more snack foods, ever more screen time, and refusing to go to school.

We hear from parents who have managed to address tricky challenges - including a child with a skin condition who must take a bath daily and who was successfully extending the dinner/running around/reading books process until bedtime was delayed as well. Once the child\'s parents came to see what needs the child was trying to meet, bath time suddenly wasn\'t a problem anymore.

I share some realizations that parents have had about their place in the world as they\'ve engaged with my work and how I plan to shift the ways I talk about these issues moving forward. 

I also invite you to celebrate with my book Parenting Beyond Power\'s first birthday by baking (or buying) some cupcakes! One of many parents\' favorite ideas in the book was the feelings and needs cupcakes, which makes it easy to visualize your most common feelings and needs.

We\'ve made some flags you can print and use with your children to identify your (and their) feelings and needs. Share them on social media and be invited to a group coaching call with me later in September, and stick them to the fridge as a reminder of how to connect with your kids - and yourself!

Download the cupcake flags - https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1nTLKzk1pdy9cwJQd2iMJolZNsz0gJL25

Finally, a couple of invitations. The Right From The Start course, which I run with Hannah and Kelty of Upbringing, is now available whenever you need it (rather than waiting for the next cohort to begin. If you\'re expecting a baby or have a child under the age of one, Right From The Start will help you to get clear on your values and goals around raising your child so you can put the systems you need in place before you get to the really tough toddler years. 

Learn more and sign up - you can also gift the course to to a friend or relative who is expecting or has a baby under the age of one. We have sliding scale pricing and a 100% money back guarantee!

Learn more about Right From The Start - https://yourparentingmojo.com/rightfromthestart/

And if you\'re interested in doing explicitly anti-racist, patriarchy-healing, capitalism-busting work with me (which I know isn\'t for everyone!), I\'d love to invite you to join me for the Parenting Beyond Power book club hosted by Moms Against Racism Canada. 

It\'s a \'book club\' in that we\'ll be working with the ideas in Parenting Beyond Power (we couldn\'t think of what else to call it...which is also how I ended up with Your Parenting Mojo!), but it\'s really a set of six 90-minute group coaching calls on Friday evenings starting on September 24th where we\'ll explore how we\'ve been harmed by systems of power, and how we can be in relationship with our children in a way that\'s aligned with our values. 

If you (and maybe the folks in your community as well?) have been wanting to know more about how to take anti-racist action with your kids but weren\'t sure how to do it, the book club will help you to do it. If you\'d like to invite your crew, we can give you a special link and when five people use it to sign up, your own spot will be free.

Learn more about the Parenting Beyond Power book club - https://yourparentingmojo.com/MARBookclub/?oprid=3464&ref=21952

#podcast #parentingpodcast #yourchildren #fypシ゚viral #parentaleducation #yourfamily #gentleparenting #parentingtips]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[I know that when you start using new parenting tools, things don\'t always go according to plan. Your kids don\'t say what you think they will, or maybe you perceive that their behavior is just kind of crappy, or maybe your partner isn\'t on board with your ideas.

In this episode I address what to do about all of these challenges, as well as how to use the tools I work with to address difficult topics like children wanting ever more snack foods, ever more screen time, and refusing to go to school.

We hear from parents who have managed to address tricky challenges - including a child with a skin condition who must take a bath daily and who was successfully extending the dinner/running around/reading books process until bedtime was delayed as well. Once the child\'s parents came to see what needs the child was trying to meet, bath time suddenly wasn\'t a problem anymore.

I share some realizations that parents have had about their place in the world as they\'ve engaged with my work and how I plan to shift the ways I talk about these issues moving forward. 

I also invite you to celebrate with my book Parenting Beyond Power\'s first birthday by baking (or buying) some cupcakes! One of many parents\' favorite ideas in the book was the feelings and needs cupcakes, which makes it easy to visualize your most common feelings and needs.

We\'ve made some flags you can print and use with your children to identify your (and their) feelings and needs. Share them on social media and be invited to a group coaching call with me later in September, and stick them to the fridge as a reminder of how to connect with your kids - and yourself!

Download the cupcake flags - https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1nTLKzk1pdy9cwJQd2iMJolZNsz0gJL25

Finally, a couple of invitations. The Right From The Start course, which I run with Hannah and Kelty of Upbringing, is now available whenever you need it (rather than waiting for the next cohort to begin. If you\'re expecting a baby or have a child under the age of one, Right From The Start will help you to get clear on your values and goals around raising your child so you can put the systems you need in place before you get to the really tough toddler years. 

Learn more and sign up - you can also gift the course to to a friend or relative who is expecting or has a baby under the age of one. We have sliding scale pricing and a 100% money back guarantee!

Learn more about Right From The Start - https://yourparentingmojo.com/rightfromthestart/

And if you\'re interested in doing explicitly anti-racist, patriarchy-healing, capitalism-busting work with me (which I know isn\'t for everyone!), I\'d love to invite you to join me for the Parenting Beyond Power book club hosted by Moms Against Racism Canada. 

It\'s a \'book club\' in that we\'ll be working with the ideas in Parenting Beyond Power (we couldn\'t think of what else to call it...which is also how I ended up with Your Parenting Mojo!), but it\'s really a set of six 90-minute group coaching calls on Friday evenings starting on September 24th where we\'ll explore how we\'ve been harmed by systems of power, and how we can be in relationship with our children in a way that\'s aligned with our values. 

If you (and maybe the folks in your community as well?) have been wanting to know more about how to take anti-racist action with your kids but weren\'t sure how to do it, the book club will help you to do it. If you\'d like to invite your crew, we can give you a special link and when five people use it to sign up, your own spot will be free.

Learn more about the Parenting Beyond Power book club - https://yourparentingmojo.com/MARBookclub/?oprid=3464&ref=21952

#podcast #parentingpodcast #yourchildren #fypシ゚viral #parentaleducation #yourfamily #gentleparenting #parentingtips]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/ec6697a025dcf7e1373505f55d3bbdab.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='53930000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3567</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030344/what-why-and-how-to-parent-beyond-power.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030344/what-why-and-how-to-parent-beyond-power.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
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<item>
<title >How to cultivate Menstrual Cycle Awareness with The Red School</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-cultivate-menstrual-cycle-awareness-with-the-red-school-1788573898/33030345</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280442</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 25 Aug 2024 22:00:03 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[This episode was...unplanned:-) A couple of months ago I interviewed Dr. Louise Newson on the topic of menopause https://youtu.be/5NtvYtu6Xb4. Dr. Newson is a medical doctor and focused very heavily on Hormone Replacement Therapy as a treatment that everyone who menstruates should at least consider, and I knew I wanted to do an episode with someone who doesn\'t hold that belief as well.

I found Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer of The Red School, and really appreciated their book Wise Power. As I usually do before recording an interview I read their other co-authored book Wild Power, and I realized there was a \'missing\' episode on the topic of Menstrual Cycle Awareness. We can\'t really talk about being aware of the changes that are happening to our bodies during menopause if we don\'t know what has happened to our bodies throughout our menstruating years.

When I read Wild Power I felt a deep sense of sadness that I was just discovering this now, as my own years of menstruation wind down - but also a deep sense of hope that I can help Carys develop a much closer relationship with her own body than I had with mine.

We\'ll answer questions like:
What phases does my body go through each month?
How can I start becoming more aware of these phases through Menstrual Cycle Awareness?
How can I align my activities with my energy levels, creativity, and arousal - even in the real world, which wants me to go-go-go all the time?
How is my inner critic aligned with my cycle, and how can I use its knowledge to help me?
How can I navigate Menstrual Cycle Awareness if I\'ve had a difficult relationship with my periods and with fertility?

I\'d encourage you to listen to this episode if:
You menstruate and want to better understand how menstruation affects your life
You\'re raising a child who will menstruate and want to prepare them to feel \'at home\' in their bodies
You love someone who menstruates and want to be better attuned to them
You\'re raising a child who will never menstruate, but you want them to appreciate menstruation and know how to effectively support people who menstruate.

In other words, everyone will get something out of this episode!]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[This episode was...unplanned:-) A couple of months ago I interviewed Dr. Louise Newson on the topic of menopause https://youtu.be/5NtvYtu6Xb4. Dr. Newson is a medical doctor and focused very heavily on Hormone Replacement Therapy as a treatment that everyone who menstruates should at least consider, and I knew I wanted to do an episode with someone who doesn\'t hold that belief as well.

I found Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer of The Red School, and really appreciated their book Wise Power. As I usually do before recording an interview I read their other co-authored book Wild Power, and I realized there was a \'missing\' episode on the topic of Menstrual Cycle Awareness. We can\'t really talk about being aware of the changes that are happening to our bodies during menopause if we don\'t know what has happened to our bodies throughout our menstruating years.

When I read Wild Power I felt a deep sense of sadness that I was just discovering this now, as my own years of menstruation wind down - but also a deep sense of hope that I can help Carys develop a much closer relationship with her own body than I had with mine.

We\'ll answer questions like:
What phases does my body go through each month?
How can I start becoming more aware of these phases through Menstrual Cycle Awareness?
How can I align my activities with my energy levels, creativity, and arousal - even in the real world, which wants me to go-go-go all the time?
How is my inner critic aligned with my cycle, and how can I use its knowledge to help me?
How can I navigate Menstrual Cycle Awareness if I\'ve had a difficult relationship with my periods and with fertility?

I\'d encourage you to listen to this episode if:
You menstruate and want to better understand how menstruation affects your life
You\'re raising a child who will menstruate and want to prepare them to feel \'at home\' in their bodies
You love someone who menstruates and want to be better attuned to them
You\'re raising a child who will never menstruate, but you want them to appreciate menstruation and know how to effectively support people who menstruate.

In other words, everyone will get something out of this episode!]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/d9dbc03687e5efb6331fcdf91b8f49db.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='55960000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3667</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030345/how-to-cultivate-menstrual-cycle-awareness-with-the-red-school.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030345/how-to-cultivate-menstrual-cycle-awareness-with-the-red-school.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to advocate for the schools our children deserve</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-advocate-for-the-schools-our-children-deserve-1788573898/33030346</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280479</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 18 Aug 2024 22:00:11 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[How comfortable do you feel speaking up about something your child’s school needs?

Have you noticed that some parents seem to feel more comfortable speaking up than others?

Have you ever noticed that sometimes rules and policies in school don’t seem to be applied evenly to all students, while squeaky wheels who raise issues that concern them and their children tend to get addressed? 

If you have, and you’d like to understand more about what you’re seeing and know what to do about it, then this episode is for you.

My guest for this episode is Allyson Criner Brown, an award-winning equity practitioner, trainer, and scholar who has worked at the intersections of pre-K-12 education, family, and community engagement, environmental justice, and local government. 

I also have a co-interviewer joining me, parent Cassie Gardener Manjikian, who asked for this episode after she noticed that the everyday actions she was seeing in her school weren’t matching up with the school’s (and district’s) own goals and plans.

In the episode, we answer questions like:
- What are the valuable ways that parents contribute to their children’s learning, even if they never volunteer in the classroom?
- What kinds of social challenges happen in schools, and how do these affect our kids?
- How can I advocate for changes if the Principal doesn’t seem interested?
- What kinds of tools can we use with teachers and parents if people are on board with doing things differently but just don’t know what to do or how to do it?
- If I’m the kind of parent who is never going to join the PTA, what role can I play?

We all have an important role to play in creating the schools our children deserve - this episode will help you to find yours.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/EquitableOutcomes

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parenting #gentleparenting #podcast #homeschooling #school]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[How comfortable do you feel speaking up about something your child’s school needs?

Have you noticed that some parents seem to feel more comfortable speaking up than others?

Have you ever noticed that sometimes rules and policies in school don’t seem to be applied evenly to all students, while squeaky wheels who raise issues that concern them and their children tend to get addressed? 

If you have, and you’d like to understand more about what you’re seeing and know what to do about it, then this episode is for you.

My guest for this episode is Allyson Criner Brown, an award-winning equity practitioner, trainer, and scholar who has worked at the intersections of pre-K-12 education, family, and community engagement, environmental justice, and local government. 

I also have a co-interviewer joining me, parent Cassie Gardener Manjikian, who asked for this episode after she noticed that the everyday actions she was seeing in her school weren’t matching up with the school’s (and district’s) own goals and plans.

In the episode, we answer questions like:
- What are the valuable ways that parents contribute to their children’s learning, even if they never volunteer in the classroom?
- What kinds of social challenges happen in schools, and how do these affect our kids?
- How can I advocate for changes if the Principal doesn’t seem interested?
- What kinds of tools can we use with teachers and parents if people are on board with doing things differently but just don’t know what to do or how to do it?
- If I’m the kind of parent who is never going to join the PTA, what role can I play?

We all have an important role to play in creating the schools our children deserve - this episode will help you to find yours.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/EquitableOutcomes

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parenting #gentleparenting #podcast #homeschooling #school]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/bf69ba7a9749a6fef697c5f32086848a.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='64870000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >4251</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030346/how-to-advocate-for-the-schools-our-children-deserve.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030346/how-to-advocate-for-the-schools-our-children-deserve.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Nutritious movement for your child - and you! with Katy Bowman</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/nutritious-movement-for-your-child-and-you-with-katy-bowman-1788573898/33030347</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280453</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 11 Aug 2024 22:00:10 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[A few months ago my daughter had a routine checkup at the doctor, who asked how much screen time she gets in a day (which is more than typical recommendations but way less time than children spend sitting in school).

The doctor told her (but really she told me): “You should get more exercise.”

Carys isn’t a team sports kind of person. She doesn’t love hiking, and she only really likes biking when friends are with us.

Something about the ‘get more exercise’ advice didn’t sit quite right with me, but I couldn’t put my finger on why.

Then I found Katy Bowman’s work and suddenly it all made sense.

Katy points out that movement and exercise are not the same thing.

Even if we aren’t getting enough exercise, what we need far more than exercise is movement. 

In this episode, we discuss questions like:
- What, exactly, is movement?
- What does it mean for our children to move…and how about us?
- How do we get more of it when our days are already so full? (I know I thought that, but I’ve found ways to incorporate a daily stretching routine without taking any time away from anything else I do. We discuss how in the episode!)

What children learn through movement
Our children learn through movement. 

Yes, they learn how to move.

They also learn what our society thinks about movement, which is likely to set them up for a lifetime of not-moving, unless we support them in doing things differently.

Finally, they come to understand their bodies better when they move. They learn how their body signals ‘this feels great’ and ‘this doesn’t feel right.’ They learn to interact with physical things: Dr. Roger Kneebone (no joke!) at Imperial College London has observed that medical students have seemed less comfortable doing delicate tasks with their hands since smartphones became popular.

In other words, they learn to trust themselves.

We have a whole module on Full-Bodied Learning in the Learning Membership where we come to understand much more deeply what children learn with their bodies, and how to help them do it.

And that’s just one of the 12 topics you’ll cover in your first year, as you become an expert on topics like scaffolding your child’s learning, nurturing critical thinking, and supporting metacognitive learning.

We’re still in pre-sale mode for just a few more days: you can sign up now and we won’t bill you until August 25th. Plus you\'ll get access to an awesome bonus: 15 Strategies to Make Time for You (and the Membership!). If you’re thinking that you don’t have time to add one more thing to your plate, I can show you how to make it happen.

As usual, we have sliding scale pricing and a money back guarantee. It’s totally risk free to try it out.

Click here to learn more about the Learning Membership - https://yourparentingmojo.com/learningmembership/

If you’d like a bit more of a sense for what it’s like to be in the membership before you join, I hope to see you on our FREE You Are Your Child’s Best Teacher masterclass coming up this Thursday August 15 at 11am Pacific. You’ll get a good chunk of what we discussed in the recent five-day workshop - in just 90 minutes! Sign up here - https://yourparentingmojo.com/bestteachermasterclass/]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[A few months ago my daughter had a routine checkup at the doctor, who asked how much screen time she gets in a day (which is more than typical recommendations but way less time than children spend sitting in school).

The doctor told her (but really she told me): “You should get more exercise.”

Carys isn’t a team sports kind of person. She doesn’t love hiking, and she only really likes biking when friends are with us.

Something about the ‘get more exercise’ advice didn’t sit quite right with me, but I couldn’t put my finger on why.

Then I found Katy Bowman’s work and suddenly it all made sense.

Katy points out that movement and exercise are not the same thing.

Even if we aren’t getting enough exercise, what we need far more than exercise is movement. 

In this episode, we discuss questions like:
- What, exactly, is movement?
- What does it mean for our children to move…and how about us?
- How do we get more of it when our days are already so full? (I know I thought that, but I’ve found ways to incorporate a daily stretching routine without taking any time away from anything else I do. We discuss how in the episode!)

What children learn through movement
Our children learn through movement. 

Yes, they learn how to move.

They also learn what our society thinks about movement, which is likely to set them up for a lifetime of not-moving, unless we support them in doing things differently.

Finally, they come to understand their bodies better when they move. They learn how their body signals ‘this feels great’ and ‘this doesn’t feel right.’ They learn to interact with physical things: Dr. Roger Kneebone (no joke!) at Imperial College London has observed that medical students have seemed less comfortable doing delicate tasks with their hands since smartphones became popular.

In other words, they learn to trust themselves.

We have a whole module on Full-Bodied Learning in the Learning Membership where we come to understand much more deeply what children learn with their bodies, and how to help them do it.

And that’s just one of the 12 topics you’ll cover in your first year, as you become an expert on topics like scaffolding your child’s learning, nurturing critical thinking, and supporting metacognitive learning.

We’re still in pre-sale mode for just a few more days: you can sign up now and we won’t bill you until August 25th. Plus you\'ll get access to an awesome bonus: 15 Strategies to Make Time for You (and the Membership!). If you’re thinking that you don’t have time to add one more thing to your plate, I can show you how to make it happen.

As usual, we have sliding scale pricing and a money back guarantee. It’s totally risk free to try it out.

Click here to learn more about the Learning Membership - https://yourparentingmojo.com/learningmembership/

If you’d like a bit more of a sense for what it’s like to be in the membership before you join, I hope to see you on our FREE You Are Your Child’s Best Teacher masterclass coming up this Thursday August 15 at 11am Pacific. You’ll get a good chunk of what we discussed in the recent five-day workshop - in just 90 minutes! Sign up here - https://yourparentingmojo.com/bestteachermasterclass/]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/e3e0911bb0866c8681adcfb9c0e790b9.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='56750000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3763</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030347/nutritious-movement-for-your-child-and-you-with-katy-bowman.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030347/nutritious-movement-for-your-child-and-you-with-katy-bowman.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >The skills your child will need in the age of AI</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/the-skills-your-child-will-need-in-the-age-of-ai-1788573898/33030348</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280507</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 04 Aug 2024 22:00:23 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[What your child is learning in school isn’t enough

The things your child is learning in school are not the things that are most likely to lead to their success in the future.

Who could have predicted the shifts we’ve seen since Chat GPT-3 was released to the public in November 2022??

While AI still has its bugs, it won’t be long before these bugs are squashed.

We’re going to be using more and more technology in our lives - and our children are going to need different skills to navigate it than we’ve used in our careers.

The 56 foundational skills for future success
A report from consulting firm McKinsey’s research arm described 56 foundational skills that will help people thrive in the future of work.

Eleven of these skills are related to digital fluency and citizenship, software use and development, and understanding digital systems.

The other 44 skills have nothing to do with digital knowledge or capabilities.

These skills (and how to help your child learn them) are the topic of this episode.

There\'s a key topic that\'s missing from these skills: content knowledge.

The McKinsey researchers are assuming that we can quickly learn what we need to know - or that we actually don’t need to learn very much content, because our new AI tools will do that for us (as soon as they stop making up legal cases).

But children spend 90+% of their time in school…learning content. 

How are they going to get the rest of the skills they’ll need?

Well, they’re going to get them from you…or not at all.

Not sure how you’re going to make this happen?

Need help?

My FREE You Are Your Child’s Best Teacher workshop is coming up for the first time in two years in just three days, starting on Wednesday August 7!

You’ll learn how to use your child’s own interests as a jumping off point for deep, self-driven learning that will help them to develop all of the skills they’ll need for the future.

Sign up here - https://yourparentingmojo.com/bestteacher/

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/AI

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parenting #gentleparenting #podcast #artificialintelligence #ai]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[What your child is learning in school isn’t enough

The things your child is learning in school are not the things that are most likely to lead to their success in the future.

Who could have predicted the shifts we’ve seen since Chat GPT-3 was released to the public in November 2022??

While AI still has its bugs, it won’t be long before these bugs are squashed.

We’re going to be using more and more technology in our lives - and our children are going to need different skills to navigate it than we’ve used in our careers.

The 56 foundational skills for future success
A report from consulting firm McKinsey’s research arm described 56 foundational skills that will help people thrive in the future of work.

Eleven of these skills are related to digital fluency and citizenship, software use and development, and understanding digital systems.

The other 44 skills have nothing to do with digital knowledge or capabilities.

These skills (and how to help your child learn them) are the topic of this episode.

There\'s a key topic that\'s missing from these skills: content knowledge.

The McKinsey researchers are assuming that we can quickly learn what we need to know - or that we actually don’t need to learn very much content, because our new AI tools will do that for us (as soon as they stop making up legal cases).

But children spend 90+% of their time in school…learning content. 

How are they going to get the rest of the skills they’ll need?

Well, they’re going to get them from you…or not at all.

Not sure how you’re going to make this happen?

Need help?

My FREE You Are Your Child’s Best Teacher workshop is coming up for the first time in two years in just three days, starting on Wednesday August 7!

You’ll learn how to use your child’s own interests as a jumping off point for deep, self-driven learning that will help them to develop all of the skills they’ll need for the future.

Sign up here - https://yourparentingmojo.com/bestteacher/

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/AI

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parenting #gentleparenting #podcast #artificialintelligence #ai]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/7e0ab42c647ce802c2d8875a8de78c56.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='51870000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3399</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030348/the-skills-your-child-will-need-in-the-age-of-ai.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030348/the-skills-your-child-will-need-in-the-age-of-ai.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Episode Summary 01: Building a better relationship with screen time</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/episode-summary-01-building-a-better-relationship-with-screen-time-1788573898/33030349</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280533</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Wed, 31 Jul 2024 23:00:19 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[While most respondents said they loved the length of the episodes because they appreciate how much detail we can get into in that time, a number of people said they had trouble finding the time to listen to longer episodes, as well as share them with others.

Our long episodes aren’t going anywhere; I love being able to truly understand an issue and have deep conversations with experts.

But I hear you that it can be hard to find an hour to listen!

That’s why I’m going to start creating summary episodes. This first one summarizes the last two episodes on the topic of video games - both the conversation with @TheGamerEducator Ash Brandin, and my narrated episode on what children learn from video games.

You’ll get my take-home ideas from both episodes in only less then 10mins!

If you’re starting to see the deep learning that children are doing while they’re playing video games and want to support them in having more of these kinds of experiences…but without using screens all the time, the You Are Your Child’s Best Teacher workshop will help you.

We’ll help you learn how to use your child’s questions and your observations about their interests to support them in deep, intrinsically motivated learning.

You’ll learn:
- Learn how to use your child\'s interests as a jumping off point for deep, self-driven learning
- Show (to yourself and others!) that your child is engaged in complex, multi-faceted learning
- Reimagine what learning looks like (it can be exciting and fun, and not something you have to bribe your child to do!)
- Understand your values about learning so you can do activities that are aligned with those values
- Be and believe you can be your child\'s best teacher - whether or not your child is in school

We’ll get started next Wednesday, so sign up now! https://yourparentingmojo.com/bestteacher/

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parenting #gentleparenting #podcast #videogames #gaming #minecraft #roblox #onlinegaming]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[While most respondents said they loved the length of the episodes because they appreciate how much detail we can get into in that time, a number of people said they had trouble finding the time to listen to longer episodes, as well as share them with others.

Our long episodes aren’t going anywhere; I love being able to truly understand an issue and have deep conversations with experts.

But I hear you that it can be hard to find an hour to listen!

That’s why I’m going to start creating summary episodes. This first one summarizes the last two episodes on the topic of video games - both the conversation with @TheGamerEducator Ash Brandin, and my narrated episode on what children learn from video games.

You’ll get my take-home ideas from both episodes in only less then 10mins!

If you’re starting to see the deep learning that children are doing while they’re playing video games and want to support them in having more of these kinds of experiences…but without using screens all the time, the You Are Your Child’s Best Teacher workshop will help you.

We’ll help you learn how to use your child’s questions and your observations about their interests to support them in deep, intrinsically motivated learning.

You’ll learn:
- Learn how to use your child\'s interests as a jumping off point for deep, self-driven learning
- Show (to yourself and others!) that your child is engaged in complex, multi-faceted learning
- Reimagine what learning looks like (it can be exciting and fun, and not something you have to bribe your child to do!)
- Understand your values about learning so you can do activities that are aligned with those values
- Be and believe you can be your child\'s best teacher - whether or not your child is in school

We’ll get started next Wednesday, so sign up now! https://yourparentingmojo.com/bestteacher/

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parenting #gentleparenting #podcast #videogames #gaming #minecraft #roblox #onlinegaming]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/8804762e15cda4979f8180c2c589fabd.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='8820000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >577</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030349/episode-summary-01-building-a-better-relationship-with-screen-time.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030349/episode-summary-01-building-a-better-relationship-with-screen-time.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >What children learn from video games</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/what-children-learn-from-video-games-1788573898/33030350</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280521</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 28 Jul 2024 22:00:30 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Last week, parent Nicole and I talked with @TheGamerEducator Ash Brandin about the challenges we can have when our kids love video games. https://youtu.be/IaHpX6EdN2w

I had also hoped to ask Ash a lot of questions about what children learn from video games but we completely ran out of time, so I spent a fun day reading 10 books on the topic at the University of New Mexico library (non-students can’t check out books!).

I wanted to know a lot more about:

Why do children find video games so attractive? And can we use that information to make the transitions away from screen time easier - as well as support their off-screen learning?
Even if video games don’t lead children to violence, are they picking up ideas that aren’t aligned with our values?

What useful skills are our children learning from video games, and how is this different from school-based learning?

If you want to learn how to support your child’s learning even more effectively than video games do, come and join me for the FREE You Are Your Child’s Best Teacher workshop.

We’ll start together on Wednesday August 7 - you’ll get a short email on each of the five following weekdays with an idea to consider and a short homework to think about, write about, or do with your child. 

The weekend in the middle of the workshop offers an ideal opportunity for you to begin your child’s first Learning Exploration where they are leading the process rather than you!

Sign-up for the FREE workshop is available now: https://yourparentingmojo.com/bestteacher/


For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/VideoGames

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parenting #gentleparenting #podcast #videogames #gaming #minecraft #roblox #onlinegaming]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Last week, parent Nicole and I talked with @TheGamerEducator Ash Brandin about the challenges we can have when our kids love video games. https://youtu.be/IaHpX6EdN2w

I had also hoped to ask Ash a lot of questions about what children learn from video games but we completely ran out of time, so I spent a fun day reading 10 books on the topic at the University of New Mexico library (non-students can’t check out books!).

I wanted to know a lot more about:

Why do children find video games so attractive? And can we use that information to make the transitions away from screen time easier - as well as support their off-screen learning?
Even if video games don’t lead children to violence, are they picking up ideas that aren’t aligned with our values?

What useful skills are our children learning from video games, and how is this different from school-based learning?

If you want to learn how to support your child’s learning even more effectively than video games do, come and join me for the FREE You Are Your Child’s Best Teacher workshop.

We’ll start together on Wednesday August 7 - you’ll get a short email on each of the five following weekdays with an idea to consider and a short homework to think about, write about, or do with your child. 

The weekend in the middle of the workshop offers an ideal opportunity for you to begin your child’s first Learning Exploration where they are leading the process rather than you!

Sign-up for the FREE workshop is available now: https://yourparentingmojo.com/bestteacher/


For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/VideoGames

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parenting #gentleparenting #podcast #videogames #gaming #minecraft #roblox #onlinegaming]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/48d3b23becabe8b3279c0e5937a23980.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='50170000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3288</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030350/what-children-learn-from-video-games.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030350/what-children-learn-from-video-games.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to end the video game struggles with Ash Brandin</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-end-the-video-game-struggles-with-ash-brandin-1788573898/33030351</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280523</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 21 Jul 2024 17:00:11 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Video games can be tough. 

Our kids enjoy them so much…but can’t tear their eyes away from them when time’s up without a meltdown.

Some games, like Fortnite and Roblox, can be really violent, and aren’t our kids learning bad messages when they play?

Plus even if they aren’t playing something violent, they aren’t really learning anything beneficial, right?

In this episode with @TheGamerEducator Ash Brandin and co-interviewer parent Nicole, we talk about common struggles parents have with kids who are playing games, including:

How to address dysregulation at the end of screen time
How to ‘scaffold’ the child’s ability to manage their own screen time
The links between screen time and intrinsic motivation
Why we can feel OK using screen time to give ourselves a break
How to model appropriate screen time use in front of our children

If summer is rolling on by and you’ve seen your kids do a lot of playing (whether that’s video games or not) and not a lot of activities that look like learning, I’d love to see you in the FREE You Are Your Child’s Best Teacher workshop that’s coming up soon.

We’ll start together on Wednesday August 7 - you’ll get a short email on each of the five following weekdays with an idea to consider and a short homework to think about, write about, or do with your child. 

The weekend in the middle of the workshop offers an ideal opportunity for you to begin your child’s first Learning Exploration where they are leading the process rather than you!

Sign-up for the FREE workshop is available now: https://yourparentingmojo.com/bestteacher/]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Video games can be tough. 

Our kids enjoy them so much…but can’t tear their eyes away from them when time’s up without a meltdown.

Some games, like Fortnite and Roblox, can be really violent, and aren’t our kids learning bad messages when they play?

Plus even if they aren’t playing something violent, they aren’t really learning anything beneficial, right?

In this episode with @TheGamerEducator Ash Brandin and co-interviewer parent Nicole, we talk about common struggles parents have with kids who are playing games, including:

How to address dysregulation at the end of screen time
How to ‘scaffold’ the child’s ability to manage their own screen time
The links between screen time and intrinsic motivation
Why we can feel OK using screen time to give ourselves a break
How to model appropriate screen time use in front of our children

If summer is rolling on by and you’ve seen your kids do a lot of playing (whether that’s video games or not) and not a lot of activities that look like learning, I’d love to see you in the FREE You Are Your Child’s Best Teacher workshop that’s coming up soon.

We’ll start together on Wednesday August 7 - you’ll get a short email on each of the five following weekdays with an idea to consider and a short homework to think about, write about, or do with your child. 

The weekend in the middle of the workshop offers an ideal opportunity for you to begin your child’s first Learning Exploration where they are leading the process rather than you!

Sign-up for the FREE workshop is available now: https://yourparentingmojo.com/bestteacher/]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/d626c0506f8664658d5e88daeb12e96d.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='64450000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >4223</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030351/how-to-end-the-video-game-struggles-with-ash-brandin.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030351/how-to-end-the-video-game-struggles-with-ash-brandin.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Am I in perimenopause? with Dr. Louise Newson</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/am-i-in-perimenopause-with-dr-louise-newson-1788573898/33030352</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280525</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 14 Jul 2024 22:00:02 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[A few months ago a member in the Parenting Membership shared a whole bunch of symptoms she\'d had, from fatigue to rage to dry eyes. She\'d been on a four year journey to figure out what was going on before finding out that she was in perimenopause, and wanted to save other members from the same experience she\'d had.

That sparked a huge discussion in the community, with other members wondering whether the symptoms they were experiencing were also related to menopause - and whether this was going to be yet another thing they were going to have to educate their doctors about to get appropriate treatment.

In this episode we answer questions about:
What roles do hormones like estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone play in our bodies?
What is menopause, and what is perimenopause?
What are some of the most common symptoms of perimenopause? (Hint - it isn\'t hot flashes)
What are the benefits of Hormone Replacement Therapy, and who should consider it?
Is HRT dangerous?
What impacts does culture have on the experience of menopause?

In our next episode on this topic we\'ll look at a non-medical, holistic approach to menopause.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/Menopause

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parenting #gentleparenting #podcast #menopause #perimenopause #louisenewson]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[A few months ago a member in the Parenting Membership shared a whole bunch of symptoms she\'d had, from fatigue to rage to dry eyes. She\'d been on a four year journey to figure out what was going on before finding out that she was in perimenopause, and wanted to save other members from the same experience she\'d had.

That sparked a huge discussion in the community, with other members wondering whether the symptoms they were experiencing were also related to menopause - and whether this was going to be yet another thing they were going to have to educate their doctors about to get appropriate treatment.

In this episode we answer questions about:
What roles do hormones like estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone play in our bodies?
What is menopause, and what is perimenopause?
What are some of the most common symptoms of perimenopause? (Hint - it isn\'t hot flashes)
What are the benefits of Hormone Replacement Therapy, and who should consider it?
Is HRT dangerous?
What impacts does culture have on the experience of menopause?

In our next episode on this topic we\'ll look at a non-medical, holistic approach to menopause.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/Menopause

#fyp #fypシ゚viral #parenting #gentleparenting #podcast #menopause #perimenopause #louisenewson]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/09bfa1a1628d73fc6d5bb6ab72198074.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='51790000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3394</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030352/am-i-in-perimenopause-with-dr-louise-newson.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030352/am-i-in-perimenopause-with-dr-louise-newson.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Why will no-one play with me?</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/why-will-no-one-play-with-me-1788573898/33030353</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280506</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 30 Jun 2024 22:00:21 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Does your child have big emotional blow-ups in social situations?

Are they a wallflower who doesn\'t know how to make friends?

Do they struggle to understand when it\'s appropriate to interrupt, tell the truth, and follow the rules vs. let things go?

I\'ve been interested in neurodivergence for a while - I\'m hoping to do an episode soon on parenting with ADHD, and in the course of research for that a parent in the Parenting Membership recommended the book Why Will No-One Play With Me.

The book is designed to help parents teach their children social skills - and I do think it has some useful ideas in it, but there are some pretty big caveats.

This episode takes a look at the broader set of research on teaching children social skills to ask whether we CAN do it and if we can, whether we SHOULD do it and if we should, what kinds of tools should we use? The popular Social Stories method? Role plays? Peer coaching? 

This episode answers questions like:
- What types of teaching are likely to be beneficial?
- How can we teach social skills to Autistic children and children with ADHD, as well as neurotypical - children?
- What are the potential later-life impacts of lagging social skills (and do what we miss when we look at it from this perspective)?
- At what age range is teaching social skills is most likely to succeed?
- How can we know whether we should teach a child social skills?

#parentingmembership #fyp #fypシ #parenting101 #parentingjourney #parentingpodcast #parentingadvice #childpsychology #jenlumanlan #viral #socialskills #podcast 

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/WhyWillNoOnePlayWithMe]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Does your child have big emotional blow-ups in social situations?

Are they a wallflower who doesn\'t know how to make friends?

Do they struggle to understand when it\'s appropriate to interrupt, tell the truth, and follow the rules vs. let things go?

I\'ve been interested in neurodivergence for a while - I\'m hoping to do an episode soon on parenting with ADHD, and in the course of research for that a parent in the Parenting Membership recommended the book Why Will No-One Play With Me.

The book is designed to help parents teach their children social skills - and I do think it has some useful ideas in it, but there are some pretty big caveats.

This episode takes a look at the broader set of research on teaching children social skills to ask whether we CAN do it and if we can, whether we SHOULD do it and if we should, what kinds of tools should we use? The popular Social Stories method? Role plays? Peer coaching? 

This episode answers questions like:
- What types of teaching are likely to be beneficial?
- How can we teach social skills to Autistic children and children with ADHD, as well as neurotypical - children?
- What are the potential later-life impacts of lagging social skills (and do what we miss when we look at it from this perspective)?
- At what age range is teaching social skills is most likely to succeed?
- How can we know whether we should teach a child social skills?

#parentingmembership #fyp #fypシ #parenting101 #parentingjourney #parentingpodcast #parentingadvice #childpsychology #jenlumanlan #viral #socialskills #podcast 

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/WhyWillNoOnePlayWithMe]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/46728bf03103e2ab34b479a32f7af2f2.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='64560000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >4473</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030353/why-will-no-one-play-with-me.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030353/why-will-no-one-play-with-me.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Ask Alvin Anything: Part 2</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/ask-alvin-anything-part-2-1788573898/33030354</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280482</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 26 May 2024 22:00:04 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Want to know how my autism self-diagnosis has affected my relationship with my husband? (I will apologize to autistic listeners here as an ableist perspective is still something we\'re working on, and he also uses some outdated terminology probably from an old book he\'s started twice - but not yet finished - on supporting partners with Asperger\'s Syndrome.)

Curious about whether he identifies as Filipino-American...or not? And how his perspective on race differs from mine?

Want to hear how he sent a chicken up into space...and then found out what the two pink lines of a pregnancy test mean?

Last year, when we were coming up on our 200th podcast episode, I asked my husband Alvin if he would be willing to record a podcast episode. I had envisioned listeners asking the questions and him answering - but he wanted me to join as well!

One of the first things we learned was that Alvin cannot be succinct. (Well, technically speaking, this was not a new lesson for me - and interviewer iris had tried really hard to prepare him for succinctness by asking for his \'elevator pitch\' - but he just couldn\'t do it!)

So we ended up cutting the episode when it was already over an hour and we hadn\'t covered half of the questions listeners had submitted...and interviewers iris and Corrine graciously agreed to return for a Part 2. So here it is!]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Want to know how my autism self-diagnosis has affected my relationship with my husband? (I will apologize to autistic listeners here as an ableist perspective is still something we\'re working on, and he also uses some outdated terminology probably from an old book he\'s started twice - but not yet finished - on supporting partners with Asperger\'s Syndrome.)

Curious about whether he identifies as Filipino-American...or not? And how his perspective on race differs from mine?

Want to hear how he sent a chicken up into space...and then found out what the two pink lines of a pregnancy test mean?

Last year, when we were coming up on our 200th podcast episode, I asked my husband Alvin if he would be willing to record a podcast episode. I had envisioned listeners asking the questions and him answering - but he wanted me to join as well!

One of the first things we learned was that Alvin cannot be succinct. (Well, technically speaking, this was not a new lesson for me - and interviewer iris had tried really hard to prepare him for succinctness by asking for his \'elevator pitch\' - but he just couldn\'t do it!)

So we ended up cutting the episode when it was already over an hour and we hadn\'t covered half of the questions listeners had submitted...and interviewers iris and Corrine graciously agreed to return for a Part 2. So here it is!]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/452b6f7f1683863fce36d634c0bee661.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='62960000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >4221</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030354/ask-alvin-anything-part-2.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030354/ask-alvin-anything-part-2.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to stop using power over your child (and still get things done)</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-stop-using-power-over-your-child-and-still-get-things-done-1788573898/33030355</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280496</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 12 May 2024 22:00:22 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Do you hate punishing (with Time Outs, withdrawing privileges, or even yelling at) your child?

Do you feel guilty after you punish them, wishing there was a way to just get them to listen?

And do bribes (\"If you brush your teeth now, you can have 5 minutes of screen time...\") feel just as awful?

But what other choice do you have? Your kids don\'t listen now, so how could not rewarding and punishing them possibly help?

That\'s what parent Dr. Houri Parsi thought when I first met her. (Houri\'s doctorate is in clinical psychology, focused on behaviorist-based reward and punishment systems.) She wasn\'t ready to believe that abandoning the tools she\'d been trained in would create a better outcome, when she measured her success as a parent by whether she got immediate compliance from her children.

She ended up not completely abandoning these tools - because they still fit within her vision and values for her family (her vision is a bit different from mine, which is OK! The important thing is that she is living in alignment with her values!).

But Houri\'s relationship with her children is profoundly different today than it was a couple of years ago. Her children have deep insight into their feelings and needs, and most of the time they\'re able to find ways to meet all of their needs. She no longer uses her power over them to get their immediate compliance - and that doesn\'t mean she gets walked all over either.

Houri sees that this approach has built a deep reservoir of trust in their relationship - but occasionally a parent will slip, and will force the children to do something they aren\'t ready for. When you hear Houri describe how her daughter punished her husband for forcing an injection before she was ready, you might never look at your own child\'s misbehavior the same way again.

You\'ll even find a new way to approach the age-old struggle of tooth brushing in this conversation that gets Houri\'s childrens\' teeth brushed every morning without a fight!

If you\'d like to ditch the rewards and punishments (and also know that the teeth will still get brushed!) then I\'d love to help you make that happen.

You\'ll get:
A new module of content every month
Access to an amazing community of supportive parents, in what they\'ve described as \"the least judgmental corner of the internet\"
I\'ll answer your questions in the community, via a video, or a 1:1 consult for especially thorny issues (recorded to share with the community; there\'s a library of these available for you to watch as well)
Group coaching calls where I\'ll coach you live on your specific challenges (or you can lurk if you prefer...)
ACTion groups: Up to five parents and an experienced peer coach meet weekly to help you plan how you\'ll achieve your vision
A 20 minute 1:1 call with community manager Denise right after you sign up, so she can direct you to the resources that will help you most!

It\'s gentle parenting that\'s also gentle on you (and isn\'t permissive!). Enrollment is only open for a few more days, until midnight Pacific on Wednesday May 15. We have sliding scale pricing and a 100% money back guarantee. Learn more here - https://yourparentingmojo.com/parentingmembership/

#parentingmembership #fyp #fypシ #parenting101 #parentingjourney #parentingpodcast #parentingadvice #childpsychology #jenlumanlan #viral #howtostoppoweroveryourchild

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/StopUsingPower]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Do you hate punishing (with Time Outs, withdrawing privileges, or even yelling at) your child?

Do you feel guilty after you punish them, wishing there was a way to just get them to listen?

And do bribes (\"If you brush your teeth now, you can have 5 minutes of screen time...\") feel just as awful?

But what other choice do you have? Your kids don\'t listen now, so how could not rewarding and punishing them possibly help?

That\'s what parent Dr. Houri Parsi thought when I first met her. (Houri\'s doctorate is in clinical psychology, focused on behaviorist-based reward and punishment systems.) She wasn\'t ready to believe that abandoning the tools she\'d been trained in would create a better outcome, when she measured her success as a parent by whether she got immediate compliance from her children.

She ended up not completely abandoning these tools - because they still fit within her vision and values for her family (her vision is a bit different from mine, which is OK! The important thing is that she is living in alignment with her values!).

But Houri\'s relationship with her children is profoundly different today than it was a couple of years ago. Her children have deep insight into their feelings and needs, and most of the time they\'re able to find ways to meet all of their needs. She no longer uses her power over them to get their immediate compliance - and that doesn\'t mean she gets walked all over either.

Houri sees that this approach has built a deep reservoir of trust in their relationship - but occasionally a parent will slip, and will force the children to do something they aren\'t ready for. When you hear Houri describe how her daughter punished her husband for forcing an injection before she was ready, you might never look at your own child\'s misbehavior the same way again.

You\'ll even find a new way to approach the age-old struggle of tooth brushing in this conversation that gets Houri\'s childrens\' teeth brushed every morning without a fight!

If you\'d like to ditch the rewards and punishments (and also know that the teeth will still get brushed!) then I\'d love to help you make that happen.

You\'ll get:
A new module of content every month
Access to an amazing community of supportive parents, in what they\'ve described as \"the least judgmental corner of the internet\"
I\'ll answer your questions in the community, via a video, or a 1:1 consult for especially thorny issues (recorded to share with the community; there\'s a library of these available for you to watch as well)
Group coaching calls where I\'ll coach you live on your specific challenges (or you can lurk if you prefer...)
ACTion groups: Up to five parents and an experienced peer coach meet weekly to help you plan how you\'ll achieve your vision
A 20 minute 1:1 call with community manager Denise right after you sign up, so she can direct you to the resources that will help you most!

It\'s gentle parenting that\'s also gentle on you (and isn\'t permissive!). Enrollment is only open for a few more days, until midnight Pacific on Wednesday May 15. We have sliding scale pricing and a 100% money back guarantee. Learn more here - https://yourparentingmojo.com/parentingmembership/

#parentingmembership #fyp #fypシ #parenting101 #parentingjourney #parentingpodcast #parentingadvice #childpsychology #jenlumanlan #viral #howtostoppoweroveryourchild

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/StopUsingPower]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/b7e05f87656a8bf5429575ab559aec7b.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='56670000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3713</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030355/how-to-stop-using-power-over-your-child-and-still-get-things-done.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030355/how-to-stop-using-power-over-your-child-and-still-get-things-done.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to make the sustainable change you want to see in your family</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-make-the-sustainable-change-you-want-to-see-in-your-family-1788573898/33030356</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280411</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 05 May 2024 22:00:09 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Here\'s a little thought exercise: think back to what you were doing this time last year, right around Mother\'s Day (in the U.S...I know it has already passed in other places!).

What kinds of things were your children doing that were really endearing?

What kinds of things were they doing that drove you up the wall?

What kinds of fights (resistance, back-talk, stalling, tantrums, etc.) were you having with them a year ago?

Are you still having those same fights now (or variations on them)?

Do you wish you weren\'t still having those fights? That you could get out of the endless cycle of trying an idea you saw on Instagram, seeing a small change, and backsliding to where you were before?

Do you have all the tools you need so that a year from now you can look back and know, without any shadow of a doubt, that things are different now?

Today I\'m going to introduce you to several parents who have made exactly this shift, and a framework you can use to make it for yourself.

It\'s not complicated. There are only five elements to it, and when they\'re all in place you can make sustainable change in parenting, as well as your own personal issues, work, and anything else you like.

It really is very possible to make sustainable change in parenting happen by yourself. But all of the five elements have to be in place, and operating consistently, to make it work. 

Losing focus on each one of the elements creates a different outcome, none of which are good:
Confusion
Anxiety
Making slow progress
Frustration
Being on a treadmill
If you can see already that one or more of these things are happening for you, the Parenting Membership will help you make the kind of sustainable change you want to see in your family.

The first thing you\'ll do after you join is have a 20-minute private call with my community manager, Denise, who will see which element you\'re struggling with the most right now, and connect you to specific resources to help.

Many of the parents who signed up this time last year are now in an entirely different place. Things like this are happening:
Their preschoolers can use a picture-based list to accurately identify their own feelings and needs;
Parents are recognizing how their own actions are creating shame in their children, and are working to address this;
Parents see which parts of their co-parenting struggles are theirs to own, instead of blaming their difficulties on their co-parents;
They can also see which parts are not theirs to own, make requests to get their needs met, and practice accepting their co-parent for who they are;
Siblings are fighting less, because they understand each other\'s needs and can find strategies to meet both of their needs.

Of course these parents still have hard days...but none of them looks back on who they were a year ago and thinks: \"Aside from the fact that my kids are older, I don\'t really know what\'s different now from what it was a year ago.\"

I want this kind of sustainable change for you, too. It\'s so much more than taking a short course to learn a new skill. It\'s a fundamentally different way of being in the world.

Enrollment for the Parenting Membership is open right now, but only until midnight Pacific on Wednesday May 15th. Learn more here - https://yourparentingmojo.com/parentingmembership/

#parentingmembership #fyp #fypシ #parenting101 #parentingjourney #parentingpodcast #parentingadvice #childpsychology #jenlumanlan #viral 

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/SustainableChange]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Here\'s a little thought exercise: think back to what you were doing this time last year, right around Mother\'s Day (in the U.S...I know it has already passed in other places!).

What kinds of things were your children doing that were really endearing?

What kinds of things were they doing that drove you up the wall?

What kinds of fights (resistance, back-talk, stalling, tantrums, etc.) were you having with them a year ago?

Are you still having those same fights now (or variations on them)?

Do you wish you weren\'t still having those fights? That you could get out of the endless cycle of trying an idea you saw on Instagram, seeing a small change, and backsliding to where you were before?

Do you have all the tools you need so that a year from now you can look back and know, without any shadow of a doubt, that things are different now?

Today I\'m going to introduce you to several parents who have made exactly this shift, and a framework you can use to make it for yourself.

It\'s not complicated. There are only five elements to it, and when they\'re all in place you can make sustainable change in parenting, as well as your own personal issues, work, and anything else you like.

It really is very possible to make sustainable change in parenting happen by yourself. But all of the five elements have to be in place, and operating consistently, to make it work. 

Losing focus on each one of the elements creates a different outcome, none of which are good:
Confusion
Anxiety
Making slow progress
Frustration
Being on a treadmill
If you can see already that one or more of these things are happening for you, the Parenting Membership will help you make the kind of sustainable change you want to see in your family.

The first thing you\'ll do after you join is have a 20-minute private call with my community manager, Denise, who will see which element you\'re struggling with the most right now, and connect you to specific resources to help.

Many of the parents who signed up this time last year are now in an entirely different place. Things like this are happening:
Their preschoolers can use a picture-based list to accurately identify their own feelings and needs;
Parents are recognizing how their own actions are creating shame in their children, and are working to address this;
Parents see which parts of their co-parenting struggles are theirs to own, instead of blaming their difficulties on their co-parents;
They can also see which parts are not theirs to own, make requests to get their needs met, and practice accepting their co-parent for who they are;
Siblings are fighting less, because they understand each other\'s needs and can find strategies to meet both of their needs.

Of course these parents still have hard days...but none of them looks back on who they were a year ago and thinks: \"Aside from the fact that my kids are older, I don\'t really know what\'s different now from what it was a year ago.\"

I want this kind of sustainable change for you, too. It\'s so much more than taking a short course to learn a new skill. It\'s a fundamentally different way of being in the world.

Enrollment for the Parenting Membership is open right now, but only until midnight Pacific on Wednesday May 15th. Learn more here - https://yourparentingmojo.com/parentingmembership/

#parentingmembership #fyp #fypシ #parenting101 #parentingjourney #parentingpodcast #parentingadvice #childpsychology #jenlumanlan #viral 

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/SustainableChange]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/c2e59118d6eb65c7897334739498e4b2.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='54950000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3600</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030356/how-to-make-the-sustainable-change-you-want-to-see-in-your-family.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030356/how-to-make-the-sustainable-change-you-want-to-see-in-your-family.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to raise a child who doesn\&apos;t experience shame</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-raise-a-child-who-doesnt-experience-shame-1788573898/33030357</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280387</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 28 Apr 2024 22:00:12 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Are there parts of yourself that you don\'t share with other people?

Things that you think: \"If people knew that about me, they wouldn\'t love me / they\'d think I\'m a terrible person / they wouldn\'t even want to be around me\"?

When you mess up, does it seem like it\'s not that you did a silly/bad thing, but that you are a stupid/bad person?

If your answer to any of these questions is \"yes,\" then you\'re experiencing shame.

Almost all of the parents I work with are ashamed of some aspect of themselves...but not Dee.

That\'s not to say that Dee never struggles - far from it. But her struggles seem to feel more manageable to her, and she has a sense of \'right\'-ness about her. 

If Dee recognizes that she has a need, it never occurs to her to not ask for help from others in getting that need met.

How did this happen? What implications does it have for how we can raise our children so they don\'t experience shame?

In this episode, Dee shares her story and her top three ideas for raising children in a shame-free environment with us.

If you realize that shame has been a huge part of your childhood (and even adulthood) and you\'re ready for help healing that so you can be the kind of parent you want to be, I do hope you\'ll join me (and Dee!) in the Parenting Membership.

We don\'t just learn how to make parenting easier (although that is a big focus!). We also work to heal ourselves so we can show up as whole people in our own lives.

Enrollment opens in just a few days, on Wednesday May 5th - click here to learn more about the membership - https://yourparentingmojo.com/parentingmembership/

If you want to get a taste of how coaching in the membership works, I\'d love for you to join me in the FREE Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits masterclass from 10-11:30am Pacific on Thursday May 2nd. 

It\'s almost like getting the insight and tools from the 8-day Setting Limits workshop that wraps up this week in one 90 minute masterclass. 

I hope to see you there (we will have prizes...) - maybe I\'ll even get to coach you live! Learn more here - https://yourparentingmojo.com/settinglimitsmasterclass/


#parentingmembership #fyp #fypシ #parenting101 #parentingjourney #parentingpodcast #parentingadvice #childpsychology #jenlumanlan #viral 

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/NoShame]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Are there parts of yourself that you don\'t share with other people?

Things that you think: \"If people knew that about me, they wouldn\'t love me / they\'d think I\'m a terrible person / they wouldn\'t even want to be around me\"?

When you mess up, does it seem like it\'s not that you did a silly/bad thing, but that you are a stupid/bad person?

If your answer to any of these questions is \"yes,\" then you\'re experiencing shame.

Almost all of the parents I work with are ashamed of some aspect of themselves...but not Dee.

That\'s not to say that Dee never struggles - far from it. But her struggles seem to feel more manageable to her, and she has a sense of \'right\'-ness about her. 

If Dee recognizes that she has a need, it never occurs to her to not ask for help from others in getting that need met.

How did this happen? What implications does it have for how we can raise our children so they don\'t experience shame?

In this episode, Dee shares her story and her top three ideas for raising children in a shame-free environment with us.

If you realize that shame has been a huge part of your childhood (and even adulthood) and you\'re ready for help healing that so you can be the kind of parent you want to be, I do hope you\'ll join me (and Dee!) in the Parenting Membership.

We don\'t just learn how to make parenting easier (although that is a big focus!). We also work to heal ourselves so we can show up as whole people in our own lives.

Enrollment opens in just a few days, on Wednesday May 5th - click here to learn more about the membership - https://yourparentingmojo.com/parentingmembership/

If you want to get a taste of how coaching in the membership works, I\'d love for you to join me in the FREE Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits masterclass from 10-11:30am Pacific on Thursday May 2nd. 

It\'s almost like getting the insight and tools from the 8-day Setting Limits workshop that wraps up this week in one 90 minute masterclass. 

I hope to see you there (we will have prizes...) - maybe I\'ll even get to coach you live! Learn more here - https://yourparentingmojo.com/settinglimitsmasterclass/


#parentingmembership #fyp #fypシ #parenting101 #parentingjourney #parentingpodcast #parentingadvice #childpsychology #jenlumanlan #viral 

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/NoShame]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/2f001a0cd62595b5c01f13050e2a0e33.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='69480000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >4924</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030357/how-to-raise-a-child-who-doesnt-experience-shame.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030357/how-to-raise-a-child-who-doesnt-experience-shame.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >The power of learning in community</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/the-power-of-learning-in-community-1788573898/33030358</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280471</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 21 Apr 2024 22:00:21 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Do you have a core group of parent friends who are always there for you? Friends who might not be 100% aligned with your parenting philosophy, but they\'re close enough that you know that when they do offer suggestions you would at least consider doing them? 

And on the days when you just want to just vent and not hear any advice at all, you know that it\'ll be totally fine for you to vent. They won\'t take offense and they\'ll just empathize and reassure you that you aren\'t a terrible parent; you\'re a great parent having a difficult day - because they\'ve seen you on your good days as well.

In this episode I\'ll introduce you to SIX parents who have just this kind of relationship. Katherine, Rachel, Beth, Peju, and Kati live in the eastern United States and Jody is Australia, and they meet once a week on Zoom for 40 minutes, and each of them talks for just five minutes...and in that time, they\'ve become incredibly close friends. The relationships they have with each other are among the deepest and most profound ones in their lives.

If you need a supportive community like this in your life then I\'d love to see you in the Parenting Membership, which is where Katherine, Rachel, Beth, Peju, Kati, and Jody met. Enrollment opens very soon, between May 5-15. 

Click here https://yourparentingmojo.com/parentingmembership/ to join the Parenting Membership waitlist and get a coupon

And if you\'d like to get just a little taste for how the membership works then I\'d love to see you in the Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop. 

You can take the FlexPath option anytime for just $7, or join me for the FREE Guided Path option where you\'ll get one module of content every day for eight days starting this Wednesday April 24th. 

You\'ll meet an awesome community of parents whose approach to parenting is aligned with yours, and you can add five group coaching calls with me for just $37, which is the cheapest rate you\'ll find parenting coaching anywhere. We\'ll start to develop the same kind of community that you\'ll hear about in this episode. Learn more here - https://yourparentingmojo.com/settinglimits/

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/LearningInCommunity]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Do you have a core group of parent friends who are always there for you? Friends who might not be 100% aligned with your parenting philosophy, but they\'re close enough that you know that when they do offer suggestions you would at least consider doing them? 

And on the days when you just want to just vent and not hear any advice at all, you know that it\'ll be totally fine for you to vent. They won\'t take offense and they\'ll just empathize and reassure you that you aren\'t a terrible parent; you\'re a great parent having a difficult day - because they\'ve seen you on your good days as well.

In this episode I\'ll introduce you to SIX parents who have just this kind of relationship. Katherine, Rachel, Beth, Peju, and Kati live in the eastern United States and Jody is Australia, and they meet once a week on Zoom for 40 minutes, and each of them talks for just five minutes...and in that time, they\'ve become incredibly close friends. The relationships they have with each other are among the deepest and most profound ones in their lives.

If you need a supportive community like this in your life then I\'d love to see you in the Parenting Membership, which is where Katherine, Rachel, Beth, Peju, Kati, and Jody met. Enrollment opens very soon, between May 5-15. 

Click here https://yourparentingmojo.com/parentingmembership/ to join the Parenting Membership waitlist and get a coupon

And if you\'d like to get just a little taste for how the membership works then I\'d love to see you in the Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop. 

You can take the FlexPath option anytime for just $7, or join me for the FREE Guided Path option where you\'ll get one module of content every day for eight days starting this Wednesday April 24th. 

You\'ll meet an awesome community of parents whose approach to parenting is aligned with yours, and you can add five group coaching calls with me for just $37, which is the cheapest rate you\'ll find parenting coaching anywhere. We\'ll start to develop the same kind of community that you\'ll hear about in this episode. Learn more here - https://yourparentingmojo.com/settinglimits/

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/LearningInCommunity]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/fe9363e5b80c05ad2fb5bafba4328381.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='66660000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >4724</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030358/the-power-of-learning-in-community.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030358/the-power-of-learning-in-community.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to get on the same page as your parenting partner</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-get-on-the-same-page-as-your-parenting-partner-1788573898/33030359</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280534</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 14 Apr 2024 22:00:24 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Do you ever fight with your partner?

Do you ever fight with your partner about parenting?

(Pretty much all of the couples I work with do both of those things.)

And these arguments tend to follow a pretty well-defined formula:

Child misbehaves.
Parent A gets overwhelmed, criticizes the child and snaps at Partner B for not doing more to help.
Parent B and says that clearly Parent A\'s \'better parenting approach\' isn\'t working, since the kids are still misbehaving - this is contempt.
Parent A knows they don\'t want to parent the way they were raised, and also knows they aren\'t doing things totally in alignment with their values right now. Parent A has done a lot of work to try to heal themselves, but worries that it isn\'t happening fast enough to protect their children. And isn\'t it better than the bribing and punishing that Parent B is doing? They\'re being defensive.
Parent B stonewalls - they are overwhelmed and shuts down, refusing to talk about the issue.
Both partners walk away feeling frustrated, wonder how on earth it got to this point, and feel hopeless that it will ever improve.

If your fights look like this, I\'m here to let you know that there is hope! 

Last year I did Levels 1 and 2 (of 3 levels) of Gottman Method training. The Gottman Method is basically the only evidence-based framework for couple\'s therapy.

Drs. John & Julie Gottman describe the main ways they see couples struggle in their communication, and named them the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - you saw all of them in the example above. 

How many of the Horsemen show up in your fights?

(Criticism is almost always the first Horseman to arrive. Interrupt that, and you can communicate in entirely different ways.)

If you wish there was a better way to communicate about these challenging issues with your partner so you could actually get on the same page and parent as a team, today\'s episode will show you how to do that. 

You\'ll see a couple, Dee and Jono, who usually walk away from each other in frustration after they discuss their roles in the family. 

In this conversation they use very different tools. We didn\'t completely resolve the issue, but they kept going with the conversation by themselves and gave me permission to also share Dee\'s report of what happened after the call - which was really magical!

Learn more about how you can avoid using The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, and what tools to use instead so you can actually discuss these kinds of difficult topics with your partner.

It\'s really hard to learn these kinds of communication skills on your own. I\'d actually read one of the Gottmans\' books but didn\'t really see how to apply the ideas in my own relationship until I did their four-day training.

During the training I realized that they use basically the same set of tools I use to help parents with their children\'s behavior, but with a couple of key weaknesses. So I recruited couples from the Parenting Membership and created a series of demo videos so you can learn the skills and see couples practicing them.

There are cheat sheets, starter scripts, and quizzes to help you identify the Four Horsemen in real couples\' arguments.

Couples who have used these tools report not just that they\'re able to address their disagreements more easily, but they\'re having fewer squabbles in the first place because things just seem to \'flow\' in a way they hadn\'t before.

I\'ll coach you (live!) on how to use the tools with your own partner in the Parenting Membership. Enrollment is open between May 5th-15th. Click the link below to join the wait list, and we\'ll send you a coupon code as soon as enrollment opens! https://yourparentingmojo.com/parentingmembership/]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Do you ever fight with your partner?

Do you ever fight with your partner about parenting?

(Pretty much all of the couples I work with do both of those things.)

And these arguments tend to follow a pretty well-defined formula:

Child misbehaves.
Parent A gets overwhelmed, criticizes the child and snaps at Partner B for not doing more to help.
Parent B and says that clearly Parent A\'s \'better parenting approach\' isn\'t working, since the kids are still misbehaving - this is contempt.
Parent A knows they don\'t want to parent the way they were raised, and also knows they aren\'t doing things totally in alignment with their values right now. Parent A has done a lot of work to try to heal themselves, but worries that it isn\'t happening fast enough to protect their children. And isn\'t it better than the bribing and punishing that Parent B is doing? They\'re being defensive.
Parent B stonewalls - they are overwhelmed and shuts down, refusing to talk about the issue.
Both partners walk away feeling frustrated, wonder how on earth it got to this point, and feel hopeless that it will ever improve.

If your fights look like this, I\'m here to let you know that there is hope! 

Last year I did Levels 1 and 2 (of 3 levels) of Gottman Method training. The Gottman Method is basically the only evidence-based framework for couple\'s therapy.

Drs. John & Julie Gottman describe the main ways they see couples struggle in their communication, and named them the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - you saw all of them in the example above. 

How many of the Horsemen show up in your fights?

(Criticism is almost always the first Horseman to arrive. Interrupt that, and you can communicate in entirely different ways.)

If you wish there was a better way to communicate about these challenging issues with your partner so you could actually get on the same page and parent as a team, today\'s episode will show you how to do that. 

You\'ll see a couple, Dee and Jono, who usually walk away from each other in frustration after they discuss their roles in the family. 

In this conversation they use very different tools. We didn\'t completely resolve the issue, but they kept going with the conversation by themselves and gave me permission to also share Dee\'s report of what happened after the call - which was really magical!

Learn more about how you can avoid using The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, and what tools to use instead so you can actually discuss these kinds of difficult topics with your partner.

It\'s really hard to learn these kinds of communication skills on your own. I\'d actually read one of the Gottmans\' books but didn\'t really see how to apply the ideas in my own relationship until I did their four-day training.

During the training I realized that they use basically the same set of tools I use to help parents with their children\'s behavior, but with a couple of key weaknesses. So I recruited couples from the Parenting Membership and created a series of demo videos so you can learn the skills and see couples practicing them.

There are cheat sheets, starter scripts, and quizzes to help you identify the Four Horsemen in real couples\' arguments.

Couples who have used these tools report not just that they\'re able to address their disagreements more easily, but they\'re having fewer squabbles in the first place because things just seem to \'flow\' in a way they hadn\'t before.

I\'ll coach you (live!) on how to use the tools with your own partner in the Parenting Membership. Enrollment is open between May 5th-15th. Click the link below to join the wait list, and we\'ll send you a coupon code as soon as enrollment opens! https://yourparentingmojo.com/parentingmembership/]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/4960eeb03450aa566ef7cad3b8c46d83.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='45760000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2998</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030359/how-to-get-on-the-same-page-as-your-parenting-partner.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030359/how-to-get-on-the-same-page-as-your-parenting-partner.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Three reasons why setting limits is hard (and what to do about each of them)</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/three-reasons-why-setting-limits-is-hard-and-what-to-do-about-each-of-them-1788573898/33030360</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280467</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 07 Apr 2024 22:00:04 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Do you ever wish that you know the appropriate logical consequence to give your child (aged 1-10) for each different kind of misbehavior you see?

When your toddler empties the water out of the dog\'s bowl for the 10th time today...
When your preschooler climbs on the table three minutes after you told them to get off it...
When your kindergartener refuses to come to the table for dinner (and you know they\'re going to announce they\'re hungry in an hour)...
When your elementary schooler won\'t get dressed in the morning (even though you know they are FULLY CAPABLE of doing it themselves) without 300 increasingly nagging, pleading, and begging \'reminders\' from you...

Wouldn\'t it be amazing to have the PERFECT logical consequence ready that would be appropriately proportioned to the misbehavior, and also just get your child to do the thing you\'re asking without you having to ask again???

But here\'s the thing about logical consequences: they essentially say to our child: \"I don\'t care why you don\'t want to do this thing; I just want you to do it.\"

If we saw one adult saying that to another adult, we would call it \'emotional abuse.\'

So why do we do it to our children?

Because it seems like we don\'t have another option to get through the day.

We actually have many other options; it\'s just hard to remember them all and which one to use in which circumstance.

In today\'s episode, I\'ll tell you the three main reasons why setting limits is hard (and what to do about each of them).

And if you want my complete framework for how to navigate misbehavior, with ALL FIVE of the tools we can use and guidelines on exactly WHEN to use each of them, sign up for the FREE Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop. 

We get started on the content on Wednesday April 24 but when you join early you can come and ask me your questions in our private community, get extra Live sessions, and extra chances to win cool prizes. Learn more here: https://yourparentingmojo.com/settinglimits/


#parenting #parentingcommunity #childpsychology #parenting101 #parentingjourney #parentingpodcast #podcast #parentingmojo #settinglimits
#yourparentingmojo #bestpodcast #reseahbasedpodcast #familypodcast #jenlumanlan
#Threereasonswhysettinglimitsishard #parentingtips]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Do you ever wish that you know the appropriate logical consequence to give your child (aged 1-10) for each different kind of misbehavior you see?

When your toddler empties the water out of the dog\'s bowl for the 10th time today...
When your preschooler climbs on the table three minutes after you told them to get off it...
When your kindergartener refuses to come to the table for dinner (and you know they\'re going to announce they\'re hungry in an hour)...
When your elementary schooler won\'t get dressed in the morning (even though you know they are FULLY CAPABLE of doing it themselves) without 300 increasingly nagging, pleading, and begging \'reminders\' from you...

Wouldn\'t it be amazing to have the PERFECT logical consequence ready that would be appropriately proportioned to the misbehavior, and also just get your child to do the thing you\'re asking without you having to ask again???

But here\'s the thing about logical consequences: they essentially say to our child: \"I don\'t care why you don\'t want to do this thing; I just want you to do it.\"

If we saw one adult saying that to another adult, we would call it \'emotional abuse.\'

So why do we do it to our children?

Because it seems like we don\'t have another option to get through the day.

We actually have many other options; it\'s just hard to remember them all and which one to use in which circumstance.

In today\'s episode, I\'ll tell you the three main reasons why setting limits is hard (and what to do about each of them).

And if you want my complete framework for how to navigate misbehavior, with ALL FIVE of the tools we can use and guidelines on exactly WHEN to use each of them, sign up for the FREE Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop. 

We get started on the content on Wednesday April 24 but when you join early you can come and ask me your questions in our private community, get extra Live sessions, and extra chances to win cool prizes. Learn more here: https://yourparentingmojo.com/settinglimits/


#parenting #parentingcommunity #childpsychology #parenting101 #parentingjourney #parentingpodcast #podcast #parentingmojo #settinglimits
#yourparentingmojo #bestpodcast #reseahbasedpodcast #familypodcast #jenlumanlan
#Threereasonswhysettinglimitsishard #parentingtips]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/11b93c10cb4e3f3f5ca94c83eada50f3.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='47100000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3086</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030360/three-reasons-why-setting-limits-is-hard-and-what-to-do-about-each-of-them.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030360/three-reasons-why-setting-limits-is-hard-and-what-to-do-about-each-of-them.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to find yourself as a parent</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-find-yourself-as-a-parent-1788573898/33030361</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280488</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 24 Mar 2024 22:00:32 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[It can be really hard to see what\'s happening in our struggles with our children. They refuse to go to bed at bedtime; we\'re at home alone all day with a baby who doesn\'t like being put down, and our older child who is now being aggressive, and there\'s no time for us to even take a shower, and maybe it seems like everyone around us is judging our parenting choices.



In this very different episode you\'re going to hear from parents who are in exactly these kinds of situations, and who joined me for a group coaching call to talk through them. We worked through a role play with one parent, Meagan, and then we saw how the same process could apply to lots of other different kinds of situations. 


Several of the parents who joined the call were kind enough to record messages after the call letting me know how the experience was for them, and with their permission I\'ve included these recordings in the episode as well.


So if you\'re struggling to find your groove as a parent; if you\'re struggling to find yourself, this episode will help.
And if you\'d like to join coaching calls with me that are just like this one, I\'d invite you to join the Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop that\'s coming up very soon. I will teach you how to set limits, but we\'ll also go waaaay beyond that to learn how to set fewer limits than you ever thought possible. 


You can take the Setting Limits workshop on your own at anytime for just $7 on our FlexPath program. Or we have a Guided Path option where you get one email per day for 10 days starting Wednesday April 24th (with the weekend off in the middle). It\'s completely free to get the content and access to our private online community, although the content does expire at the end of the workshop for the free version. For just $37 you can upgrade to the Full Experience, where you can revisit the content whenever you like, and also get five group coaching calls with me over the 10 days, and those calls will look very much like the call you\'re about to listen to or watch in this episode.]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[It can be really hard to see what\'s happening in our struggles with our children. They refuse to go to bed at bedtime; we\'re at home alone all day with a baby who doesn\'t like being put down, and our older child who is now being aggressive, and there\'s no time for us to even take a shower, and maybe it seems like everyone around us is judging our parenting choices.



In this very different episode you\'re going to hear from parents who are in exactly these kinds of situations, and who joined me for a group coaching call to talk through them. We worked through a role play with one parent, Meagan, and then we saw how the same process could apply to lots of other different kinds of situations. 


Several of the parents who joined the call were kind enough to record messages after the call letting me know how the experience was for them, and with their permission I\'ve included these recordings in the episode as well.


So if you\'re struggling to find your groove as a parent; if you\'re struggling to find yourself, this episode will help.
And if you\'d like to join coaching calls with me that are just like this one, I\'d invite you to join the Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop that\'s coming up very soon. I will teach you how to set limits, but we\'ll also go waaaay beyond that to learn how to set fewer limits than you ever thought possible. 


You can take the Setting Limits workshop on your own at anytime for just $7 on our FlexPath program. Or we have a Guided Path option where you get one email per day for 10 days starting Wednesday April 24th (with the weekend off in the middle). It\'s completely free to get the content and access to our private online community, although the content does expire at the end of the workshop for the free version. For just $37 you can upgrade to the Full Experience, where you can revisit the content whenever you like, and also get five group coaching calls with me over the 10 days, and those calls will look very much like the call you\'re about to listen to or watch in this episode.]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/ac12503f56d782aadff21c4a363f96ab.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='71910000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >4712</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030361/how-to-find-yourself-as-a-parent.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030361/how-to-find-yourself-as-a-parent.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How patriarchy hurts us...all of us</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-patriarchy-hurts-usall-of-us-1788573898/33030362</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280475</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 10 Mar 2024 22:00:17 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[I have to admit, I’m a bit scared to say it…
The P-word…
“Patriarchy.”
(Phew! I did it!)
I know some listeners find it hard to hear. I’ve spoken with more than one woman who has told me: “I sent your podcast to my husband but then he heard the word “Patriarchy” and it was all over.
There’s some sadness there for me, for sure.
Every time I talk about patriarchy I talk about how much it hurts me and those of us who identify as women – but I also talk about how much it hurts men as well. And that’s not just lip service: I truly believe that patriarchy has robbed men of a full emotional life.

I was talking with a parent in the Parenting Membership recently who asked her husband if he ever felt truly seen and understood. He said ‘no,’ and ended the conversation. She cried as she told me: “I feel so sad for him that he doesn’t know that he could be seen and understood, so he doesn’t even realize he’s missing it.”

We can know these things conceptually, and we can think that patriarchy kind of sucks, but maybe we think there’s not a lot we can do about it. After all, isn’t the man the one who really needs to change?

Member iris and I had had a conversation in the membership a couple of months before I was in Vancouver for the Parenting Beyond Power book tour, where she mentioned that she’d been thinking a lot about how patriarchy shows up in her life. We made plans to get together to record an episode while I was in town – and here it is!

iris and I discuss:
The power and control that men held over women and girls as she grew up in the Philippines, including casting out female family members with out-of-wedlock pregnancies, while nothing happened to the men who got them pregnant (and lest we think this couldn\'t possibly happen where we live, men have very real power over women\'s pregnancies in the United States as well right now too...)

How she sees herself catering to her husband’s needs - adjusting her daily schedule to his; eating what he wanted for dinner even if she preferred something different; perceiving that he expects her to do more than half of the household, even though neither of them works for income;
Patriarchal messages that are being passed on to her daughter about the value of marriage, children, and meeting men’s needs.
Even though she’s no longer in the Philippines, iris still sees patriarchy in her relationship with her husband and daughter. She even sees how it hurts her husband, who is looked down upon in our culture because he doesn\'t present in a typically \'masculine\' way.

She shares the practices she’s using to pass on different messages to her daughter about a woman’s role in a family and in the world.

But I don’t think we should only have these kinds of conversations with our daughters. We should also talk with our boys about their feelings, and encourage them to fully experience their pain, hurt, and joy, and teach them that it’s OK to care about other people and not be an island that feels no pain and never cries.

Enjoy this beautiful conversation with iris.

00:00 Introducing today’s guest and topic
06:30 How gender roles and expectations affected her parents\' dynamics and sense of self-worth.
12:52 Iris discusses her family\'s emotional dynamics and the lasting impact of patriarchal double standards on her parenting approach.
 17:51 Iris reflects on her teenage years, grappling with societal norms and confronting patriarchal expectations in her relationships.
22:35 Iris cuts her hair short in defiance of patriarchal norms, challenging traditional notions of feminine beauty and reclaiming her autonomy.
24:21 Iris reflects on societal pressures and gender roles within her marriage, highlighting the challenges of conforming to traditional expectations.
33:31 Iris encourages daughter Malaya\'s autonomy, challenges traditional gender roles, and fosters open communication within the family.
41:07 Women play a part in perpetuating patriarchal norms in families and should strive to empower daughters through shared decision-making and open dialogue.
44:29 Iris stresses the value of rest for herself, challenging the idea that productivity determines worth, especially under capitalism. 
46:16 Iris reflects on the dynamics of waiting for male approval and envisions a future where her daughter confidently asserts herself. 
49:19 Jen introduces three actionable steps for listeners to implement the ideas discussed in the episode.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/HowPatriarchyHurtsUs


#yourparentingmojo #parentingmojo #researchbasedparenting #reaserchbasedpodcast #childpsychology #parentinglifehacks #parenting101 #parentingjourney #patriarchy #JenLumanlan #parentingmembership #parentingtips #parentingpodcast #podcast]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[I have to admit, I’m a bit scared to say it…
The P-word…
“Patriarchy.”
(Phew! I did it!)
I know some listeners find it hard to hear. I’ve spoken with more than one woman who has told me: “I sent your podcast to my husband but then he heard the word “Patriarchy” and it was all over.
There’s some sadness there for me, for sure.
Every time I talk about patriarchy I talk about how much it hurts me and those of us who identify as women – but I also talk about how much it hurts men as well. And that’s not just lip service: I truly believe that patriarchy has robbed men of a full emotional life.

I was talking with a parent in the Parenting Membership recently who asked her husband if he ever felt truly seen and understood. He said ‘no,’ and ended the conversation. She cried as she told me: “I feel so sad for him that he doesn’t know that he could be seen and understood, so he doesn’t even realize he’s missing it.”

We can know these things conceptually, and we can think that patriarchy kind of sucks, but maybe we think there’s not a lot we can do about it. After all, isn’t the man the one who really needs to change?

Member iris and I had had a conversation in the membership a couple of months before I was in Vancouver for the Parenting Beyond Power book tour, where she mentioned that she’d been thinking a lot about how patriarchy shows up in her life. We made plans to get together to record an episode while I was in town – and here it is!

iris and I discuss:
The power and control that men held over women and girls as she grew up in the Philippines, including casting out female family members with out-of-wedlock pregnancies, while nothing happened to the men who got them pregnant (and lest we think this couldn\'t possibly happen where we live, men have very real power over women\'s pregnancies in the United States as well right now too...)

How she sees herself catering to her husband’s needs - adjusting her daily schedule to his; eating what he wanted for dinner even if she preferred something different; perceiving that he expects her to do more than half of the household, even though neither of them works for income;
Patriarchal messages that are being passed on to her daughter about the value of marriage, children, and meeting men’s needs.
Even though she’s no longer in the Philippines, iris still sees patriarchy in her relationship with her husband and daughter. She even sees how it hurts her husband, who is looked down upon in our culture because he doesn\'t present in a typically \'masculine\' way.

She shares the practices she’s using to pass on different messages to her daughter about a woman’s role in a family and in the world.

But I don’t think we should only have these kinds of conversations with our daughters. We should also talk with our boys about their feelings, and encourage them to fully experience their pain, hurt, and joy, and teach them that it’s OK to care about other people and not be an island that feels no pain and never cries.

Enjoy this beautiful conversation with iris.

00:00 Introducing today’s guest and topic
06:30 How gender roles and expectations affected her parents\' dynamics and sense of self-worth.
12:52 Iris discusses her family\'s emotional dynamics and the lasting impact of patriarchal double standards on her parenting approach.
 17:51 Iris reflects on her teenage years, grappling with societal norms and confronting patriarchal expectations in her relationships.
22:35 Iris cuts her hair short in defiance of patriarchal norms, challenging traditional notions of feminine beauty and reclaiming her autonomy.
24:21 Iris reflects on societal pressures and gender roles within her marriage, highlighting the challenges of conforming to traditional expectations.
33:31 Iris encourages daughter Malaya\'s autonomy, challenges traditional gender roles, and fosters open communication within the family.
41:07 Women play a part in perpetuating patriarchal norms in families and should strive to empower daughters through shared decision-making and open dialogue.
44:29 Iris stresses the value of rest for herself, challenging the idea that productivity determines worth, especially under capitalism. 
46:16 Iris reflects on the dynamics of waiting for male approval and envisions a future where her daughter confidently asserts herself. 
49:19 Jen introduces three actionable steps for listeners to implement the ideas discussed in the episode.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/HowPatriarchyHurtsUs


#yourparentingmojo #parentingmojo #researchbasedparenting #reaserchbasedpodcast #childpsychology #parentinglifehacks #parenting101 #parentingjourney #patriarchy #JenLumanlan #parentingmembership #parentingtips #parentingpodcast #podcast]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/1ef9ceb64c64aeb5148db49efcb8542d.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='54120000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3546</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030362/how-patriarchy-hurts-usall-of-us.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030362/how-patriarchy-hurts-usall-of-us.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Why on earth would Iris take my Taming Your Triggers workshop multiple times?</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/why-on-earth-would-iris-take-my-taming-your-triggers-workshop-multiple-times-1788573898/33030363</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280505</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Tue, 20 Feb 2024 08:00:29 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[I\'m so grateful to finally meet parent Iris when my book tour made it to Vancouver last fall. Aside from having taken the workshop, Iris has been a long time listener of the podcast. If you have ever considered taking my Taming Your Triggers workshop, but something has held you back, this conversation is for you. My 10 week Taming Your Triggers Spring Workshop reopens each Spring & Fall.

To learn more and sign up, go to www.YourParentingMojo.com/TamingYourTriggers]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[I\'m so grateful to finally meet parent Iris when my book tour made it to Vancouver last fall. Aside from having taken the workshop, Iris has been a long time listener of the podcast. If you have ever considered taking my Taming Your Triggers workshop, but something has held you back, this conversation is for you. My 10 week Taming Your Triggers Spring Workshop reopens each Spring & Fall.

To learn more and sign up, go to www.YourParentingMojo.com/TamingYourTriggers]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/11747c5af72fadfe1a5055cce0621330.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='12920000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >846</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030363/why-on-earth-would-iris-take-my-taming-your-triggers-workshop-multiple-times.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030363/why-on-earth-would-iris-take-my-taming-your-triggers-workshop-multiple-times.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to create more time by taking care of yourself</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-create-more-time-by-taking-care-of-yourself-1788573898/33030364</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280512</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 18 Feb 2024 22:00:22 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Sara has always tried really hard to not just be a good parent, but a really good parent. The best parent. (When I coached her and her partner recently to create some content for the Parenting Membership that you\'ll hear more about in a few weeks, her partner said to her: You hold everyone else to a high standard. You hold yourself to a higher standard.)

Sara put a lot of pressure on herself, and this was even harder because she she didn\'t have the most amazing parental role models. They often fought in front of Sara and her sibling (with insults and name calling a regular part of the mix), and they didn\'t repair afterward.

The difficult communication between parents extended to the children as well - Sara started to fight back when she was spanked, which escalated to physical fights as she got older. If she tried to talk with her Mom about previous incidents then her Mom would make out that she was the victim, while her Dad would whiz her down to Baskin Robbins for ice cream to win back her love. Sara withdrew, stopped sharing anything with her parents and isolated herself in her room - devouring books and the all the things on the early days of the internet.

So when she became a parent, it\'s not surprising she felt triggered! Conflict abounded! Conflict with her partner, and with her children - she knew how she WANTED to navigate it (in a way that modeled healthy conflict for her children), but how could she do that when she had no idea how?

We talk about conflict in this episode, and we also talk about needs. It turns out that Sara had needs (who knew!) and when she started to identify and meet them, the magic happened.

Spending time doing things for herself, to meet her need for creativity, created time to spend with her husband and children.

She realized she had been trying to do a lot of multitasking to try to fit everything in, but never spent time doing things she truly loved. Once she did, the background noise of that unmet need went quiet in her mind, and then she could actually enjoy spending time with her family.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to
https://yourparentingmojo.com/CreateMoreTime]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Sara has always tried really hard to not just be a good parent, but a really good parent. The best parent. (When I coached her and her partner recently to create some content for the Parenting Membership that you\'ll hear more about in a few weeks, her partner said to her: You hold everyone else to a high standard. You hold yourself to a higher standard.)

Sara put a lot of pressure on herself, and this was even harder because she she didn\'t have the most amazing parental role models. They often fought in front of Sara and her sibling (with insults and name calling a regular part of the mix), and they didn\'t repair afterward.

The difficult communication between parents extended to the children as well - Sara started to fight back when she was spanked, which escalated to physical fights as she got older. If she tried to talk with her Mom about previous incidents then her Mom would make out that she was the victim, while her Dad would whiz her down to Baskin Robbins for ice cream to win back her love. Sara withdrew, stopped sharing anything with her parents and isolated herself in her room - devouring books and the all the things on the early days of the internet.

So when she became a parent, it\'s not surprising she felt triggered! Conflict abounded! Conflict with her partner, and with her children - she knew how she WANTED to navigate it (in a way that modeled healthy conflict for her children), but how could she do that when she had no idea how?

We talk about conflict in this episode, and we also talk about needs. It turns out that Sara had needs (who knew!) and when she started to identify and meet them, the magic happened.

Spending time doing things for herself, to meet her need for creativity, created time to spend with her husband and children.

She realized she had been trying to do a lot of multitasking to try to fit everything in, but never spent time doing things she truly loved. Once she did, the background noise of that unmet need went quiet in her mind, and then she could actually enjoy spending time with her family.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to
https://yourparentingmojo.com/CreateMoreTime]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/9e56b837b6b161f77b6fb4894818efbf.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='43790000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2869</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030364/how-to-create-more-time-by-taking-care-of-yourself.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030364/how-to-create-more-time-by-taking-care-of-yourself.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to move toward anti-racism with Kerry Cavers</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-move-toward-anti-racism-with-kerry-cavers-1788573898/33030365</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280394</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 11 Feb 2024 22:00:12 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Last year I hosted a panel event in Vancouver where four people who have been active in helping us to navigate toward an anti-racist, post-patriarchal, post-capitalist future came together to share their ideas in front of a live audience.

It was a beautiful event (eventually we\'ll process the video of it to share with you!), and I really hit it off with Moms Against Racism Candada (https://www.momsagainstracism.ca/) founder Kerry Cavers so we got together afterward to chat.

This is a much more personal episode than many. I actually didn\'t know it was going to be an episode beforehand - I thought we were going to record something that would be mostly for Kerry to use to explain her work to potential funders. But when I realized what gold we had, I decided to release the video as an episode.

I did realize that we were lacking in some specific take-home messages for listeners, so I asked whether Kerry would be willing to share some ideas for ways to take action on anti-racism with us. She has a lot going on at the moment so she wasn\'t able to record something for us, but she did put together a VERY comprehensive list of actions that I recorded at the end of the episode. 

I\'ve also created a PDF of her ideas that you can print and refer back to more easily - just go to www.yourparentingmojo.com/MAR to download the guide.

Enjoy the conversation!]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Last year I hosted a panel event in Vancouver where four people who have been active in helping us to navigate toward an anti-racist, post-patriarchal, post-capitalist future came together to share their ideas in front of a live audience.

It was a beautiful event (eventually we\'ll process the video of it to share with you!), and I really hit it off with Moms Against Racism Candada (https://www.momsagainstracism.ca/) founder Kerry Cavers so we got together afterward to chat.

This is a much more personal episode than many. I actually didn\'t know it was going to be an episode beforehand - I thought we were going to record something that would be mostly for Kerry to use to explain her work to potential funders. But when I realized what gold we had, I decided to release the video as an episode.

I did realize that we were lacking in some specific take-home messages for listeners, so I asked whether Kerry would be willing to share some ideas for ways to take action on anti-racism with us. She has a lot going on at the moment so she wasn\'t able to record something for us, but she did put together a VERY comprehensive list of actions that I recorded at the end of the episode. 

I\'ve also created a PDF of her ideas that you can print and refer back to more easily - just go to www.yourparentingmojo.com/MAR to download the guide.

Enjoy the conversation!]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/d15dae01e7c008f884a586fca0a4e8c5.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='51300000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3361</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030365/how-to-move-toward-anti-racism-with-kerry-cavers.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030365/how-to-move-toward-anti-racism-with-kerry-cavers.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >What really matters in parenting? Part 1</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/what-really-matters-in-parenting-part-1-1788573898/33030366</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280468</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 04 Feb 2024 22:00:16 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Listener Roberta submitted a question recently on www.YourParentingMojo.com/question: What does the research say are the decisions that really matter in parenting?

That question immediately got my brain churning about what could be included, and how we would decide what to include, and how much of what\'s included could actually be research-based. 

The episode begins with a look at some of the major categories of factors that impact our children\'s development that we may not have as much control over, because we have to acknowledge these before we can look at what we do impact. 

Then I look at some of the things we do control but I think we can pretty safely stop worrying about them. The impact that each of these things has is likely to be so tiny as to individually meaningless.

Finally, I count down my list of the top 5 things that I think impact children\'s development. 

This episode is for parents of children aged about 2 onwards. I think infants have some different needs, and I\'m planning a separate episode on those later in the year.]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Listener Roberta submitted a question recently on www.YourParentingMojo.com/question: What does the research say are the decisions that really matter in parenting?

That question immediately got my brain churning about what could be included, and how we would decide what to include, and how much of what\'s included could actually be research-based. 

The episode begins with a look at some of the major categories of factors that impact our children\'s development that we may not have as much control over, because we have to acknowledge these before we can look at what we do impact. 

Then I look at some of the things we do control but I think we can pretty safely stop worrying about them. The impact that each of these things has is likely to be so tiny as to individually meaningless.

Finally, I count down my list of the top 5 things that I think impact children\'s development. 

This episode is for parents of children aged about 2 onwards. I think infants have some different needs, and I\'m planning a separate episode on those later in the year.]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/1b14bd46edcc836c4523995892fa53c3.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='44850000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2939</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030366/what-really-matters-in-parenting-part-1.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030366/what-really-matters-in-parenting-part-1.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to Heal from Adverse Childhood Experiences with Dr. Nadine Burke Harris and Jackie Thu-Huong</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-heal-from-adverse-childhood-experiences-with-dr-nadine-burke-harris-and-jackie-thu-huong-1788573898/33030367</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280427</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 28 Jan 2024 22:00:11 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[My mom died when I was 10, and for a while people in our small village would look at my sister and me as if we were \'special\' in some weird way. By the time I was a young adult that was just one of a stew of difficult experiences I\'d had, and I also realized: my stuff is not special.

By that age, most people are carrying around some kind of trauma.

But so what? Does it matter? If our mental health is good enough, does it help to wallow around in all the stuff that\'s in the past?

In this episode we talk with Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, who has pioneered the connections between these kinds of Adverse Childhood Experiences and medical care for children, as well as Jackie Thu-Huong Wong, Executive Director of First 5 California. 

We\'ll learn:
What is an Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE);
How ACEs can influence not only our physical but our mental health as well;
What we know about the protective effects of relationships with caring adults
Dr. Burke Harris\' opinions of the \'best\' authoritative parenting style;
A new feature in our episodes: mild, medium, and spicy options for parents who want to dip their toe into the water on this topic, or dive more deeply.]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[My mom died when I was 10, and for a while people in our small village would look at my sister and me as if we were \'special\' in some weird way. By the time I was a young adult that was just one of a stew of difficult experiences I\'d had, and I also realized: my stuff is not special.

By that age, most people are carrying around some kind of trauma.

But so what? Does it matter? If our mental health is good enough, does it help to wallow around in all the stuff that\'s in the past?

In this episode we talk with Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, who has pioneered the connections between these kinds of Adverse Childhood Experiences and medical care for children, as well as Jackie Thu-Huong Wong, Executive Director of First 5 California. 

We\'ll learn:
What is an Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE);
How ACEs can influence not only our physical but our mental health as well;
What we know about the protective effects of relationships with caring adults
Dr. Burke Harris\' opinions of the \'best\' authoritative parenting style;
A new feature in our episodes: mild, medium, and spicy options for parents who want to dip their toe into the water on this topic, or dive more deeply.]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/ad2b830cedb0142db59a8337c69d8b0d.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='49290000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3230</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030367/how-to-heal-from-adverse-childhood-experiences-with-dr-nadine-burke-harris-and-jackie-thu-huong.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030367/how-to-heal-from-adverse-childhood-experiences-with-dr-nadine-burke-harris-and-jackie-thu-huong.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to create a culture of consent in our families</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-create-a-culture-of-consent-in-our-families-1788573898/33030368</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280522</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 14 Jan 2024 22:00:03 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[When Carys was about three, I forced a dropper of antibiotics into her mouth to just get her to take it, so she would start to feel better. We were both tired and hangry and I didn\'t see another path forward, when she was refusing something that I knew would help her. What other choice did I have?

My husband did see another path when he arrived home later that evening, and before she went to bed she willingly took a full dose of the medicine.

These kinds of situations come up often in parenting: where we\'re trying to get our child to do something, perhaps even for their own health and safety, and they refuse. It can seem like the only path forward is to force them against their will - after all, we are doing this for their own good, right? 

But what if there was another way to make these things happen that met your child\'s needs for autonomy over their own bodies, and also met your needs for peace and ease and harmony and protection of their health and safety?

That\'s what we\'ll work through in today\'s episode. We\'ll look closely at the way consent is perceived in our culture, and how these messages are transmitted - in school, in peer groups, in movies and songs, and in our families. 

I\'m also introducing a new element into podcast episodes to help you put the ideas in the episode into practice. At the end of the episode I offer three suggestions for things you could try in your relationship with your own child - organized into mild, medium, and spicy options so you can step in at the level that feels right to you. 

Trigger warning: I do discuss sexual assault in this episode. It might not be one you listen to with your children around, and if you have experienced sexual assault, please make sure you\'re well resourced if you do choose to listen.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/consent]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[When Carys was about three, I forced a dropper of antibiotics into her mouth to just get her to take it, so she would start to feel better. We were both tired and hangry and I didn\'t see another path forward, when she was refusing something that I knew would help her. What other choice did I have?

My husband did see another path when he arrived home later that evening, and before she went to bed she willingly took a full dose of the medicine.

These kinds of situations come up often in parenting: where we\'re trying to get our child to do something, perhaps even for their own health and safety, and they refuse. It can seem like the only path forward is to force them against their will - after all, we are doing this for their own good, right? 

But what if there was another way to make these things happen that met your child\'s needs for autonomy over their own bodies, and also met your needs for peace and ease and harmony and protection of their health and safety?

That\'s what we\'ll work through in today\'s episode. We\'ll look closely at the way consent is perceived in our culture, and how these messages are transmitted - in school, in peer groups, in movies and songs, and in our families. 

I\'m also introducing a new element into podcast episodes to help you put the ideas in the episode into practice. At the end of the episode I offer three suggestions for things you could try in your relationship with your own child - organized into mild, medium, and spicy options so you can step in at the level that feels right to you. 

Trigger warning: I do discuss sexual assault in this episode. It might not be one you listen to with your children around, and if you have experienced sexual assault, please make sure you\'re well resourced if you do choose to listen.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/consent]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/778baca49cc5a7d8a2b2014d063f31c7.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='56020000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3567</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030368/how-to-create-a-culture-of-consent-in-our-families.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030368/how-to-create-a-culture-of-consent-in-our-families.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Ask Alvin Anything (Part 1!)</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/ask-alvin-anything-part-1-1788573898/33030369</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280477</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 31 Dec 2023 22:00:24 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[When I saw that our 200th episode was coming up, I knew I wanted to do something special to celebrate. Listeners called in with questions for me for our 100th episode - https://yourparentingmojo.com/episode100, which was released in September 2019. The numbering is a bit fuzzy, I have to admit - we\'re actually well over 200 episodes because there have been an assortment of Sharing Your Parenting Mojo conversations with parents and other folks that use a different numbering system, but whatever. It\'s still a milestone

Back then, I was just getting into exploring big social justice issues on the podcast. Early in 2020 I did two episodes on how patriarchy - http://yourparentingmojo.com/patriarchy affects our parenting - https://yourparentingmojo.com/parentingpatriarchy, followed by an extended series on the intersection of race and parenting - http://yourparentingmojo.com/race, and several episodes on advertising and consumerism - https://yourparentingmojo.com/advertising.

We learned a lot about sex - http://yourparentingmojo.com/pleasuremechanics & http://yourparentingmojo.com/beyondsexed, and I started what has become a series of \'deconstructed\' episodes where I examine an idea that is usually assumed to be \'the way it is,\' and find out that perhaps that isn\'t the way it is after all. I looked at:
- How most of what we think we know about attachment theory is probably wrong https://yourparentingmojo.com/attachmentresearch
- Authoritative isn\'t the best parenting \'style\' http://yourparentingmojo.com/parentingstyles
- The current darling of anyone working on mental health, Polyvagal theory, is most likely a myth (although it may still be a somewhat useful myth) http://yourparentingmojo.com/polyvagaltheory

In June of 2022, in preparation for a pair of episodes on supporting neurodivergent parents - https://yourparentingmojo.com/parentsneurodivergence and children - https://yourparentingmojo.com/neurodivergentparents & http://yourparentingmojo.com/neurodivergent, I interviewed Dr. Hanna Bertilsdotter-Rosqvist, who is autistic, to test out the autism screener. I wasn\'t expecting it to return a positive result for me, ultimately resulting in a self-diagnosis that, of course, I shared in an episode - http://yourparentingmojo.com/me. Lots of listeners reached out after that one to offer gratitude, and one message I will carry for a long time said something like: \"I always conceptually knew that neurodivergent people have value but it wasn\'t until I heard how your autism helps you to process all of this information for us that I truly got it.\"

So given that you\'ve heard a lot from and about me over the last few years, I thought a natural next step would be to offer listeners the option of asking my husband Alvin anything they wanted!

We received quite a few questions, and two listeners - iris, who has been around for many years, and Corrine who joined us more recently - stepped up to co-interview him. I was quite willing to throw him to the wolves and let him do the interview himself but he wanted me to be there, so I joined as well. (I should note that the conversation was scheduled for a week when some really hard things were happening in a community that I\'m in, and my energy level was a bit low.)

Alvin has many amazing qualities but succinctness has never been among them, so unfortunately we only made it through about half of Iris and Corrine\'s questions, as well as those that listeners submitted. We did talk about:
- Alvin\'s relationship with his own parents (who think we\'re terrible parents to Carys);
- How we met (an inappropriate workplace relationship!);
- How Carys is similar to/different from us;
- What I was like before I started the podcast compared to now;
- How Alvin has changed over the last 10 years, as a person and as a parent - and how he\'s deepening his relationship with Carys using Your Parenting Mojo\'s tools

We plan to come back for round two in the future!

Here are a couple of things we talked about on the episode:
A somewhat difficult-to-see picture of Alvin with long bleached hair
My guides to hiking the Tour du Mont Blanc with a baby - https://www.cicerone.co.uk/authors/jen-lumanlan]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[When I saw that our 200th episode was coming up, I knew I wanted to do something special to celebrate. Listeners called in with questions for me for our 100th episode - https://yourparentingmojo.com/episode100, which was released in September 2019. The numbering is a bit fuzzy, I have to admit - we\'re actually well over 200 episodes because there have been an assortment of Sharing Your Parenting Mojo conversations with parents and other folks that use a different numbering system, but whatever. It\'s still a milestone

Back then, I was just getting into exploring big social justice issues on the podcast. Early in 2020 I did two episodes on how patriarchy - http://yourparentingmojo.com/patriarchy affects our parenting - https://yourparentingmojo.com/parentingpatriarchy, followed by an extended series on the intersection of race and parenting - http://yourparentingmojo.com/race, and several episodes on advertising and consumerism - https://yourparentingmojo.com/advertising.

We learned a lot about sex - http://yourparentingmojo.com/pleasuremechanics & http://yourparentingmojo.com/beyondsexed, and I started what has become a series of \'deconstructed\' episodes where I examine an idea that is usually assumed to be \'the way it is,\' and find out that perhaps that isn\'t the way it is after all. I looked at:
- How most of what we think we know about attachment theory is probably wrong https://yourparentingmojo.com/attachmentresearch
- Authoritative isn\'t the best parenting \'style\' http://yourparentingmojo.com/parentingstyles
- The current darling of anyone working on mental health, Polyvagal theory, is most likely a myth (although it may still be a somewhat useful myth) http://yourparentingmojo.com/polyvagaltheory

In June of 2022, in preparation for a pair of episodes on supporting neurodivergent parents - https://yourparentingmojo.com/parentsneurodivergence and children - https://yourparentingmojo.com/neurodivergentparents & http://yourparentingmojo.com/neurodivergent, I interviewed Dr. Hanna Bertilsdotter-Rosqvist, who is autistic, to test out the autism screener. I wasn\'t expecting it to return a positive result for me, ultimately resulting in a self-diagnosis that, of course, I shared in an episode - http://yourparentingmojo.com/me. Lots of listeners reached out after that one to offer gratitude, and one message I will carry for a long time said something like: \"I always conceptually knew that neurodivergent people have value but it wasn\'t until I heard how your autism helps you to process all of this information for us that I truly got it.\"

So given that you\'ve heard a lot from and about me over the last few years, I thought a natural next step would be to offer listeners the option of asking my husband Alvin anything they wanted!

We received quite a few questions, and two listeners - iris, who has been around for many years, and Corrine who joined us more recently - stepped up to co-interview him. I was quite willing to throw him to the wolves and let him do the interview himself but he wanted me to be there, so I joined as well. (I should note that the conversation was scheduled for a week when some really hard things were happening in a community that I\'m in, and my energy level was a bit low.)

Alvin has many amazing qualities but succinctness has never been among them, so unfortunately we only made it through about half of Iris and Corrine\'s questions, as well as those that listeners submitted. We did talk about:
- Alvin\'s relationship with his own parents (who think we\'re terrible parents to Carys);
- How we met (an inappropriate workplace relationship!);
- How Carys is similar to/different from us;
- What I was like before I started the podcast compared to now;
- How Alvin has changed over the last 10 years, as a person and as a parent - and how he\'s deepening his relationship with Carys using Your Parenting Mojo\'s tools

We plan to come back for round two in the future!

Here are a couple of things we talked about on the episode:
A somewhat difficult-to-see picture of Alvin with long bleached hair
My guides to hiking the Tour du Mont Blanc with a baby - https://www.cicerone.co.uk/authors/jen-lumanlan]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/62f27d247a6b2f706533341a3d2ee8a8.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='56510000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3703</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030369/ask-alvin-anything-part-1.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030369/ask-alvin-anything-part-1.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Digging Deeper into Parenting Beyond Power with Rachel Disney</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/digging-deeper-into-parenting-beyond-power-with-rachel-disney-1788573898/33030370</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280458</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 11 Dec 2023 04:15:01 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[On book release day in September, listener María José (MJ) Durán asked me some questions about the book https://yourparentingmojo.com/pbplaunchcelebration (and also shared the compassion she felt for her mother after reading the first half of the book, suddenly realizing why her mother made some decisions that created a lot of pain for MJ). 

Listener Rachel also reached out with some questions, and due to my book tour schedule https://yourparentingmojo.com/booktour it took us a little longer to get a call on the calendar, but eventually - on a day in Seattle when I also had a coaching call and two two-hour workshops based on the book - we made it happen.

Rachel\'s questions go deeeep. She wanted to know:
If there are ideas I logically know are the right ones to follow but I still have trouble doing it;
How my parenting is evolving as Carys gets older (her own daughter is a year older than Carys);
Whether I think my view of parenting is possible within the social and political systems in which we currently live.]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[On book release day in September, listener María José (MJ) Durán asked me some questions about the book https://yourparentingmojo.com/pbplaunchcelebration (and also shared the compassion she felt for her mother after reading the first half of the book, suddenly realizing why her mother made some decisions that created a lot of pain for MJ). 

Listener Rachel also reached out with some questions, and due to my book tour schedule https://yourparentingmojo.com/booktour it took us a little longer to get a call on the calendar, but eventually - on a day in Seattle when I also had a coaching call and two two-hour workshops based on the book - we made it happen.

Rachel\'s questions go deeeep. She wanted to know:
If there are ideas I logically know are the right ones to follow but I still have trouble doing it;
How my parenting is evolving as Carys gets older (her own daughter is a year older than Carys);
Whether I think my view of parenting is possible within the social and political systems in which we currently live.]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/05045d44bc0b1efb44e2d85f7ed89b93.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='38300000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2509</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030370/digging-deeper-into-parenting-beyond-power-with-rachel-disney.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030370/digging-deeper-into-parenting-beyond-power-with-rachel-disney.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >The connection between your ideas about childhood and politics with Dr. Toby Rollo</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/the-connection-between-your-ideas-about-childhood-and-politics-with-dr-toby-rollo-1788573898/33030371</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280465</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 26 Nov 2023 22:00:23 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[A couple of years ago I was watching a session of the Alliance for Self-Directed Education\'s online conference by unschooling advocate Idzie Desmerais. At some point she dropped a quote into her presentation that I jotted down but didn\'t think much of at the time:

What if your ideas about politics were just your ideas about childhood, extrapolated?

I returned to my notes some months later, having spent much of that time immersed in writing the first draft of the book, the quote almost took my breath away. There, right in front of me, was a single sentence that encapsulated so much of what I\'d been thinking and writing about.

On the surface, it may seem as though these topics are completely unrelated but they are actually intimately connected. 

We use politics set up systems that support the culture we want to live in. 

We create systems that make it harder to vote because we don\'t think everyone should be able to vote - especially if you aren\'t White, male, or at least middle class.

We abolish Affirmative Action in college admissions because we think everyone has the same basic chance to succeed, so there\'s no reason to support some more than others.

Government policies establish the conditions of capitalism - like manipulating interest rates, regulating companies\' ability to engage in certain business practices, and offering tax cuts for activities we collectively think are good, which ends up transferring wealth from people with less money who rent, to people with more money who buy homes.

And we shape them to try to ensure their success in these systems.

If we believe that people should basically take care of themselves rather than relying on support from others, since we all have equal skills and freedoms, then we\'re probably going to raise children who do things for themselves without relying on other people.

If we see that boys get punished for \'being soft\' and that girls get punished for expressing big ideas (Clementine Ford\'s Boys Will Be Boys, which discusses online take-downs of women who express ideas, is one of the most depressing books I\'ve ever read), then we\'re probably going to raise boys who don\'t express weakness, or girls who express big ideas. (Little ideas are OK...but nothing that could rock the boat too much.)

If we think that there are limited resources in the world and our child has to get their place in school, university, employment or someone else will, then we\'re going to work to get our child ahead in that system.

And because all of those systems out in the world rely on one person or group\'s power over another person or group, we practice that at home as well.

In this provocative episode, Dr. Toby Rollo explains in-depth how our ideas about politics are our ideas about childhood, extrapolated. Yes, it\'s theoretical...but we also discuss what this means for OUR real children in OUR real families.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/ChildhoodExtrapolated

Jump to Highlights
0:00 Introduction to today’s guest and topic
2:16 The definition of children and childhood
4:58 The historical shift from a protective view of childhood to a modern perspective emphasizing children\'s progression toward becoming adults and citizens
10:55 The developmental view of childhood is criticized for biases, as it deems non-Western governance as inferior.
16:23 Dr. Toby Rollo challenges the Western perspective on political agency, seeing children as political agents.
20:38 Dismantling racism and patriarchy requires challenging early patterns of oppression in adult-child relationships
30:50 Advocating for a change in society\'s focus to better empower children and families
37:12 Exploring the link between political ideologies and ideas about childhood
45:12 Dr. Rollo suggests conventional school success doesn\'t guarantee overall well-being and advocates for fostering children\'s internal motivation and self-awareness.
54:00 Wrapping up the discussion]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[A couple of years ago I was watching a session of the Alliance for Self-Directed Education\'s online conference by unschooling advocate Idzie Desmerais. At some point she dropped a quote into her presentation that I jotted down but didn\'t think much of at the time:

What if your ideas about politics were just your ideas about childhood, extrapolated?

I returned to my notes some months later, having spent much of that time immersed in writing the first draft of the book, the quote almost took my breath away. There, right in front of me, was a single sentence that encapsulated so much of what I\'d been thinking and writing about.

On the surface, it may seem as though these topics are completely unrelated but they are actually intimately connected. 

We use politics set up systems that support the culture we want to live in. 

We create systems that make it harder to vote because we don\'t think everyone should be able to vote - especially if you aren\'t White, male, or at least middle class.

We abolish Affirmative Action in college admissions because we think everyone has the same basic chance to succeed, so there\'s no reason to support some more than others.

Government policies establish the conditions of capitalism - like manipulating interest rates, regulating companies\' ability to engage in certain business practices, and offering tax cuts for activities we collectively think are good, which ends up transferring wealth from people with less money who rent, to people with more money who buy homes.

And we shape them to try to ensure their success in these systems.

If we believe that people should basically take care of themselves rather than relying on support from others, since we all have equal skills and freedoms, then we\'re probably going to raise children who do things for themselves without relying on other people.

If we see that boys get punished for \'being soft\' and that girls get punished for expressing big ideas (Clementine Ford\'s Boys Will Be Boys, which discusses online take-downs of women who express ideas, is one of the most depressing books I\'ve ever read), then we\'re probably going to raise boys who don\'t express weakness, or girls who express big ideas. (Little ideas are OK...but nothing that could rock the boat too much.)

If we think that there are limited resources in the world and our child has to get their place in school, university, employment or someone else will, then we\'re going to work to get our child ahead in that system.

And because all of those systems out in the world rely on one person or group\'s power over another person or group, we practice that at home as well.

In this provocative episode, Dr. Toby Rollo explains in-depth how our ideas about politics are our ideas about childhood, extrapolated. Yes, it\'s theoretical...but we also discuss what this means for OUR real children in OUR real families.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/ChildhoodExtrapolated

Jump to Highlights
0:00 Introduction to today’s guest and topic
2:16 The definition of children and childhood
4:58 The historical shift from a protective view of childhood to a modern perspective emphasizing children\'s progression toward becoming adults and citizens
10:55 The developmental view of childhood is criticized for biases, as it deems non-Western governance as inferior.
16:23 Dr. Toby Rollo challenges the Western perspective on political agency, seeing children as political agents.
20:38 Dismantling racism and patriarchy requires challenging early patterns of oppression in adult-child relationships
30:50 Advocating for a change in society\'s focus to better empower children and families
37:12 Exploring the link between political ideologies and ideas about childhood
45:12 Dr. Rollo suggests conventional school success doesn\'t guarantee overall well-being and advocates for fostering children\'s internal motivation and self-awareness.
54:00 Wrapping up the discussion]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/cb0baf59fe6fb6aa7e64e28d9ba71ac7.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='53550000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3509</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030371/the-connection-between-your-ideas-about-childhood-and-politics-with-dr-toby-rollo.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030371/the-connection-between-your-ideas-about-childhood-and-politics-with-dr-toby-rollo.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Jen Lumanlan, Parenting Beyond Power | A Better Way \&apos;Book Trailer\&apos; (Now Available!)</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/jen-lumanlan-parenting-beyond-power-a-better-way-book-trailer-now-available-1788573898/33030372</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280476</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Thu, 23 Nov 2023 08:00:18 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[We\'re finally home after the initial phase of the Parenting Beyond Power book tour and workshops. After the release in September 2023, we hit the road visiting places where parents & teachers of young children meet: preschools, libraries and workplaces. From Boulder County, Colorado to Vancouver BC, to Seattle and Portland - it was such an honor meeting with so many families and teachers. 

To celebrate our return home after the well-received time on the road, we wanted to re-release this short video - one that had such a powerful impact in helping to set the stage for each workshop.

If you haven\'t had a chance to view \"A Better Way\", we hope you will spend a few minutes with us this holiday season as you connect with your own values and what\'s most important in *your* life.]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[We\'re finally home after the initial phase of the Parenting Beyond Power book tour and workshops. After the release in September 2023, we hit the road visiting places where parents & teachers of young children meet: preschools, libraries and workplaces. From Boulder County, Colorado to Vancouver BC, to Seattle and Portland - it was such an honor meeting with so many families and teachers. 

To celebrate our return home after the well-received time on the road, we wanted to re-release this short video - one that had such a powerful impact in helping to set the stage for each workshop.

If you haven\'t had a chance to view \"A Better Way\", we hope you will spend a few minutes with us this holiday season as you connect with your own values and what\'s most important in *your* life.]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/ffabb56912a3ed7f9dec7cb68e5bbfa6.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='4100000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >268</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030372/jen-lumanlan-parenting-beyond-power-a-better-way-book-trailer-now-available.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030372/jen-lumanlan-parenting-beyond-power-a-better-way-book-trailer-now-available.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >What to do about reward and punishment systems at school with Denise Suarez</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/what-to-do-about-reward-and-punishment-systems-at-school-with-denise-suarez-1788573898/33030373</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280433</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 12 Nov 2023 22:00:20 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[This is the first in a series of \'back to basics\' episodes here on the show, where we\'ll look at the everyday challenges you\'re facing as a parent. (Have an idea for an episode? Share it on this thread in our free Facebook group, https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589/posts/3532684820304582, send us a max 2 minute video of you saying your question, or click here https://yourparentingmojo.com/question/ to record an audio message for me...)

I\'d wanted to do an episode on the use of reward & punishment systems in classrooms for a while, and when I mentioned this to my community manager Denise, she immediately started telling me all about the systems in her children\'s classrooms. So Denise sent me her questions, and we chatted through the research-based answers in this episode.

To make it easier for you to start a conversation at your school about rewards and punishment systems, I\'ve created a one-page \'cheat sheet\' for you to share with others. Reward and Punishment Cheat Sheet - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1oIwq3TstKru5QZcseSu8nh83KhfTIt5b/view?usp=sharing

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/RewardAndPunishment]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[This is the first in a series of \'back to basics\' episodes here on the show, where we\'ll look at the everyday challenges you\'re facing as a parent. (Have an idea for an episode? Share it on this thread in our free Facebook group, https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589/posts/3532684820304582, send us a max 2 minute video of you saying your question, or click here https://yourparentingmojo.com/question/ to record an audio message for me...)

I\'d wanted to do an episode on the use of reward & punishment systems in classrooms for a while, and when I mentioned this to my community manager Denise, she immediately started telling me all about the systems in her children\'s classrooms. So Denise sent me her questions, and we chatted through the research-based answers in this episode.

To make it easier for you to start a conversation at your school about rewards and punishment systems, I\'ve created a one-page \'cheat sheet\' for you to share with others. Reward and Punishment Cheat Sheet - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1oIwq3TstKru5QZcseSu8nh83KhfTIt5b/view?usp=sharing

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/RewardAndPunishment]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/639facbc1bce892103d20bffd41edc9d.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='69760000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >4571</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030373/what-to-do-about-reward-and-punishment-systems-at-school-with-denise-suarez.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030373/what-to-do-about-reward-and-punishment-systems-at-school-with-denise-suarez.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to do right by your child - and everyone else\&apos;s with Dr. Elizabeth Cripps</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-do-right-by-your-child-and-everyone-elses-with-dr-elizabeth-cripps-1788573898/33030374</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280508</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 29 Oct 2023 22:00:13 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Do you worry about the state of the Earth? Climate change perhaps above all else, but also resource extraction, air pollution, and the injustice that goes along with the ways the impacts of these things are distributed?

You\'re not the only one.

I know not everyone goes this far, but one of the reasons I waited so long to have a baby, almost didn\'t have a baby, and will only have one child is to reduce my impact on climate change.

We all know we\'re supposed to fly less, drive less, and eat less meat. But how can those actions ever be enough, when (I read somewhere a long time ago) that there aren\'t enough resources on the planet for everyone to consume the resources that an unhoused person in the United States uses?

In her new book Parenting on Earth: A Philosopher\'s Guide to Doing Right by Your Kids - and Everyone Else\'s https://a.co/d/5L7XmNk (affiliate link), Dr. Elizabeth Cripps walks us through the moral arguments involved in taking action on these issues - as well as the ones we use to justify not taking action.

I really enjoyed this book. There are so many ways it could have gone wrong. Dr. Cripps is a White European philosopher writing about ways we can reduce our environmental impact.

The book could have been dense (ever get lost trying to follow a philosophical argument? ‍️)

It could have been preachy.

It could have been completely tone-deaf, and say that we all bear the same responsibility to make changes.

It doesn\'t do any of those things.

It\'s easy to understand, practical, and acknowledges Dr. Cripps\' (and many of her readers,\' including my own) place in society. This is our responsibility - but also not just our responsibility. We need systemic change at the State, national, and international levels as well.

This book helps you see what you can do by yourself, and also when you combine your efforts with others, which is a lot bigger than the sum of its parts. And that makes it an interesting, hopeful read. (I worked in sustainability consulting for a decade and I learned some things!)

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/ParentingOnEarth

Jump to highlights:
0:.00 Introduction to today’s episode and featured guest
02:39 Dr. Elizabeth Cripps gives a brief overview of what climate change is and how it is already affecting and will continue to affect us in the future
04:40 The moral aspect of climate change 
06:39 The challenge of differentiating individual and governmental responsibilities regarding climate change
12:20 The connection between shame and topics like White supremacy, patriarchy, capitalism, and climate change
17:51 How broader societal concerns, like climate change, influence your everyday decision-making
26:10 Exploration on whether the Western-developed framework for climate change can be adapted to different cultures with varied moral perspectives
28:20 The choice of having children and how climate concerns influenced that decision
35:20 The concept of fairness and how children often have a strong sense of morality and fairness
37:18 A playful approach to life and problem-solving can inspire creativity for solving complex issues
38:54 How parents can engage in climate activism and justice alongside their everyday responsibilities
43:28 How parents might justify not taking action or not fully acknowledging climate change as a significant problem
45:20 Addressing climate change as a shared responsibility
48:12 Nurturing environmentally responsible children]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Do you worry about the state of the Earth? Climate change perhaps above all else, but also resource extraction, air pollution, and the injustice that goes along with the ways the impacts of these things are distributed?

You\'re not the only one.

I know not everyone goes this far, but one of the reasons I waited so long to have a baby, almost didn\'t have a baby, and will only have one child is to reduce my impact on climate change.

We all know we\'re supposed to fly less, drive less, and eat less meat. But how can those actions ever be enough, when (I read somewhere a long time ago) that there aren\'t enough resources on the planet for everyone to consume the resources that an unhoused person in the United States uses?

In her new book Parenting on Earth: A Philosopher\'s Guide to Doing Right by Your Kids - and Everyone Else\'s https://a.co/d/5L7XmNk (affiliate link), Dr. Elizabeth Cripps walks us through the moral arguments involved in taking action on these issues - as well as the ones we use to justify not taking action.

I really enjoyed this book. There are so many ways it could have gone wrong. Dr. Cripps is a White European philosopher writing about ways we can reduce our environmental impact.

The book could have been dense (ever get lost trying to follow a philosophical argument? ‍️)

It could have been preachy.

It could have been completely tone-deaf, and say that we all bear the same responsibility to make changes.

It doesn\'t do any of those things.

It\'s easy to understand, practical, and acknowledges Dr. Cripps\' (and many of her readers,\' including my own) place in society. This is our responsibility - but also not just our responsibility. We need systemic change at the State, national, and international levels as well.

This book helps you see what you can do by yourself, and also when you combine your efforts with others, which is a lot bigger than the sum of its parts. And that makes it an interesting, hopeful read. (I worked in sustainability consulting for a decade and I learned some things!)

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/ParentingOnEarth

Jump to highlights:
0:.00 Introduction to today’s episode and featured guest
02:39 Dr. Elizabeth Cripps gives a brief overview of what climate change is and how it is already affecting and will continue to affect us in the future
04:40 The moral aspect of climate change 
06:39 The challenge of differentiating individual and governmental responsibilities regarding climate change
12:20 The connection between shame and topics like White supremacy, patriarchy, capitalism, and climate change
17:51 How broader societal concerns, like climate change, influence your everyday decision-making
26:10 Exploration on whether the Western-developed framework for climate change can be adapted to different cultures with varied moral perspectives
28:20 The choice of having children and how climate concerns influenced that decision
35:20 The concept of fairness and how children often have a strong sense of morality and fairness
37:18 A playful approach to life and problem-solving can inspire creativity for solving complex issues
38:54 How parents can engage in climate activism and justice alongside their everyday responsibilities
43:28 How parents might justify not taking action or not fully acknowledging climate change as a significant problem
45:20 Addressing climate change as a shared responsibility
48:12 Nurturing environmentally responsible children]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/2326b06117c0f084770a4b74615ad448.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='51550000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3378</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030374/how-to-do-right-by-your-child-and-everyone-elses-with-dr-elizabeth-cripps.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030374/how-to-do-right-by-your-child-and-everyone-elses-with-dr-elizabeth-cripps.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Raising Good Humans Every Day with Hunter Clarke-Fields</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/raising-good-humans-every-day-with-hunter-clarke-fields-1788573898/33030375</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280417</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 15 Oct 2023 22:00:06 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Hunter Clarke-Fields is back with us again! She\'s the author of Raising Good Humans - https://a.co/d/03RXRcI, and now the new book Raising Good Humans Every Day - https://a.co/d/2x0GMvL (Affiliate links).

Why does the world need two books with such similar titles? Are they even different?!

Yes, they are! Raising Good Humans Every Day is small! And short! And the chapters are short! Each one contains just one practice, described in a few pages. 

If you\'ve got five minutes you can read a chapter and then put the idea into practice immediately. 

Use it, see some success, and get inspired for the next one.

Short, simple, and sweet. Can\'t beat that!

Jump to highlights:
00:00 Introducing Hunter Clarke-Fields
01:46 Hunter’s reasons for writing a second book with a title so much like their first one
03:29 Why controlling our children and having them control themselves doesn\'t work effectively
06:54 The need to shift from rewards and punishments to teaching and guiding children in understanding consequences and needs
09:18 The benefits of connection-based parenting
12:58 Reflecting on parenting experiences: gratitude and regrets
16:25 Exploring Hunter’s upbringing as a highly sensitive child 
21:47 Navigating parenting a highly sensitive child with insights coming from Hunter’s own experiences
24:39 The importance of being authentic with children and openly sharing challenges as a parent
26:29 Parenting with heartfelt intention and presence
31:01 Embracing the importance of being present with children and practicing mindfulness in a fast-paced society
38:14 Asking for community support to be a better parent
42:24 Embracing a beginner\'s mind to counter judgment and remain open to possibilities]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Hunter Clarke-Fields is back with us again! She\'s the author of Raising Good Humans - https://a.co/d/03RXRcI, and now the new book Raising Good Humans Every Day - https://a.co/d/2x0GMvL (Affiliate links).

Why does the world need two books with such similar titles? Are they even different?!

Yes, they are! Raising Good Humans Every Day is small! And short! And the chapters are short! Each one contains just one practice, described in a few pages. 

If you\'ve got five minutes you can read a chapter and then put the idea into practice immediately. 

Use it, see some success, and get inspired for the next one.

Short, simple, and sweet. Can\'t beat that!

Jump to highlights:
00:00 Introducing Hunter Clarke-Fields
01:46 Hunter’s reasons for writing a second book with a title so much like their first one
03:29 Why controlling our children and having them control themselves doesn\'t work effectively
06:54 The need to shift from rewards and punishments to teaching and guiding children in understanding consequences and needs
09:18 The benefits of connection-based parenting
12:58 Reflecting on parenting experiences: gratitude and regrets
16:25 Exploring Hunter’s upbringing as a highly sensitive child 
21:47 Navigating parenting a highly sensitive child with insights coming from Hunter’s own experiences
24:39 The importance of being authentic with children and openly sharing challenges as a parent
26:29 Parenting with heartfelt intention and presence
31:01 Embracing the importance of being present with children and practicing mindfulness in a fast-paced society
38:14 Asking for community support to be a better parent
42:24 Embracing a beginner\'s mind to counter judgment and remain open to possibilities]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/8beb8693678dc4c2a3627b01e0aa03bf.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='44030000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2885</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030375/raising-good-humans-every-day-with-hunter-clarke-fields.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030375/raising-good-humans-every-day-with-hunter-clarke-fields.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Regulating for the kids....and for your marriage</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/regulating-for-the-kidsand-for-your-marriage-1788573898/33030376</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280426</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 08 Oct 2023 22:00:04 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Do you ever feel triggered by your partner\'s behavior? 

(No? Just me? )

Many parents who join the Taming Your Triggers workshop sign up for help navigating their children\'s behavior...and then once they\'re inside they confess that their partner\'s behavior is even more triggering than their child\'s.

As you might imagine, many of the participants in the Taming Your Triggers workshop are women. (Classic patriarchy at work: caregiving is women\'s work, and so is managing the emotional climate of the family, so why does a male partner in a cisgender, heterosexual relationship need to bother?)

So I\'ve been especially glad to see that more and more men are taking the workshop - and last time around we also had several couples participating together.

Elizabeth and Marshall are physical therapists who travel and work to pay off their student loan debt. They had a three-year-old, and then became unexpectedly pregnant - with twins!

Both Elizabeth and Marshall had fairly typical middle class childhoods...they had enough with out being rich, but underneath the veneer that \'everything\'s fine\' lurked disconnection from parents, unexpressed anger, and mental illness - as well as the societal messages of getting out of debt and preparing for retirement. 

Elizabeth had no idea she had anger issues until she became a parent. Suddenly she felt both anger and shame about her anger, not understanding that the anger was wrapped up in her childhood.

Since Elizabeth and Marshall have organized their entire lives around paying off their student loan debt, it was hard to commit to spending money on not just one but two enrollments in Taming Your Triggers. Up to that point, Elizabeth often felt she was the one doing the work and dragging Marshall along...but he saw how important this was to her, and went all-in alongside her.

They\'ve noticed profound shifts in their capacity to be with their children - as well as with each other.

Elizabeth knows not just in her head but in her body that it\'s OK to be in uncomfortable situations and not fix everything immediately.

She talked with her mom about a shame-filled situation from her childhood that Elizabeth thought she would \"take to her grave\" - and now the issue doesn\'t impact her anymore.

Marshall is able to let go of problems that used to really bother him, and engages the children in using the concepts from the workshop.

They can work through the challenges they\'re facing, both as a couple and as parents. Their now have the space for conversations about their parenting values, instead of just reacting to the latest emergency.

Elizabeth wrote to me that it\'s taken a long time for her to realize that investing in parenting education is just as important as paying for good food. She\'s shifted her mindset by realizing that: 

\"in five years I’m going to be so proud of us for investing in our kids and parenting in a way that aligns with our values. 

As a female raising females I want to give them a voice I never had as a child. 
I want them to be raised with honesty from their parents, and empowerment. 
Marshall agreed that this is important, so he agreed to do the workshop with me.\"

If you\'re a man reading this, we\'d love to see you in the workshop. You won\'t be alone, and we may be able to create a men-only discussion space for you. (I know it can be hard to talk about things like anger issues with women around.) 

If you\'re a woman in a cis-het partnership, you can absolutely participate alone - and you\'ll learn a LOT. Most people do it this way. 

But you\'ll get even more out of it when you and your partner are on the same page. Marshall says:

Having your partner on the same page is important to get the full benefits of the workshop. Having your partner participate is something they can do for you that is incredibly meaningful and impactful to your relationship with them. It is important for a female to express that it would mean a lot if her husband or partner would take the course at least as a favor to her. Speaking as a male partner I have learned that it is important to recognize what is important to my spouse and to honor that with acknowledgment and participation. 

Hear Elizabeth and Marshall describe the work they\'ve been doing - and how it has helped - in this new episode.]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Do you ever feel triggered by your partner\'s behavior? 

(No? Just me? )

Many parents who join the Taming Your Triggers workshop sign up for help navigating their children\'s behavior...and then once they\'re inside they confess that their partner\'s behavior is even more triggering than their child\'s.

As you might imagine, many of the participants in the Taming Your Triggers workshop are women. (Classic patriarchy at work: caregiving is women\'s work, and so is managing the emotional climate of the family, so why does a male partner in a cisgender, heterosexual relationship need to bother?)

So I\'ve been especially glad to see that more and more men are taking the workshop - and last time around we also had several couples participating together.

Elizabeth and Marshall are physical therapists who travel and work to pay off their student loan debt. They had a three-year-old, and then became unexpectedly pregnant - with twins!

Both Elizabeth and Marshall had fairly typical middle class childhoods...they had enough with out being rich, but underneath the veneer that \'everything\'s fine\' lurked disconnection from parents, unexpressed anger, and mental illness - as well as the societal messages of getting out of debt and preparing for retirement. 

Elizabeth had no idea she had anger issues until she became a parent. Suddenly she felt both anger and shame about her anger, not understanding that the anger was wrapped up in her childhood.

Since Elizabeth and Marshall have organized their entire lives around paying off their student loan debt, it was hard to commit to spending money on not just one but two enrollments in Taming Your Triggers. Up to that point, Elizabeth often felt she was the one doing the work and dragging Marshall along...but he saw how important this was to her, and went all-in alongside her.

They\'ve noticed profound shifts in their capacity to be with their children - as well as with each other.

Elizabeth knows not just in her head but in her body that it\'s OK to be in uncomfortable situations and not fix everything immediately.

She talked with her mom about a shame-filled situation from her childhood that Elizabeth thought she would \"take to her grave\" - and now the issue doesn\'t impact her anymore.

Marshall is able to let go of problems that used to really bother him, and engages the children in using the concepts from the workshop.

They can work through the challenges they\'re facing, both as a couple and as parents. Their now have the space for conversations about their parenting values, instead of just reacting to the latest emergency.

Elizabeth wrote to me that it\'s taken a long time for her to realize that investing in parenting education is just as important as paying for good food. She\'s shifted her mindset by realizing that: 

\"in five years I’m going to be so proud of us for investing in our kids and parenting in a way that aligns with our values. 

As a female raising females I want to give them a voice I never had as a child. 
I want them to be raised with honesty from their parents, and empowerment. 
Marshall agreed that this is important, so he agreed to do the workshop with me.\"

If you\'re a man reading this, we\'d love to see you in the workshop. You won\'t be alone, and we may be able to create a men-only discussion space for you. (I know it can be hard to talk about things like anger issues with women around.) 

If you\'re a woman in a cis-het partnership, you can absolutely participate alone - and you\'ll learn a LOT. Most people do it this way. 

But you\'ll get even more out of it when you and your partner are on the same page. Marshall says:

Having your partner on the same page is important to get the full benefits of the workshop. Having your partner participate is something they can do for you that is incredibly meaningful and impactful to your relationship with them. It is important for a female to express that it would mean a lot if her husband or partner would take the course at least as a favor to her. Speaking as a male partner I have learned that it is important to recognize what is important to my spouse and to honor that with acknowledgment and participation. 

Hear Elizabeth and Marshall describe the work they\'ve been doing - and how it has helped - in this new episode.]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/926e04f7cf427bf17e14d37c5488e8cc.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='54190000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3551</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030376/regulating-for-the-kidsand-for-your-marriage.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030376/regulating-for-the-kidsand-for-your-marriage.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >You don\&apos;t have to believe everything you think</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/you-dont-have-to-believe-everything-you-think-1788573898/33030377</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280501</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 01 Oct 2023 22:00:33 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[n this short episode, I\'m going to teach you a real, legit, bona fide magic trick. 

And unlike most magic tricks which rely on sleight of hand to convince you of something that has happened when it really hasn\'t, this one actually works. It helps you to see that things are not as bad as they seem, and that you can cope, even when things feel incredibly difficult and that you\'re failing as a parent.

I asked four listeners to help me explain the concept to you, and how it has helped them, and one even went above and beyond and did a live demo for us!

Then I walk you through it step by step, so you can use it when you need it later.


Jump to highlights:
00:00 Introducing today’s topic
02:04 Words can influence our perceptions.
04:02 Anne shares three instances where questioning negative thoughts helped in avoiding unnecessary worry and misunderstandings.
09:46 Elizabeth, a Parenting Membership member for two years, highlights how Jen\'s advice, using the phrase \"I am having the thought that...,\" helped her cope with a challenging parenting situation.
11:54 Melissa used self-compassion and questioning negative thoughts to find self-compassion and regain confidence.
13:11 Melissa highlights the core aspect of the \"magic trick\" by framing these thoughts as \"I\'m thinking\" rather than absolute truths.
14:46 Jen calls listeners to try a mindful exercise where \"I\'m thinking that...\" is added before self-judgments or judgments about others.
20:20 Adding \"I\'m thinking that...\" before judgments can foster understanding, compassion, and better relationships, as demonstrated by Jen’s dishwasher experience.
25:07 Nicole shares how her meditation practice led her to explore the concept of not believing everything she thinks 
27:47 Recognizing our perspective isn\'t the only truth can help us shift from self-centered thinking when hurt by someone.
28:36 The concept of not believing everything we think promotes a balanced perspective on our life stories.]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[n this short episode, I\'m going to teach you a real, legit, bona fide magic trick. 

And unlike most magic tricks which rely on sleight of hand to convince you of something that has happened when it really hasn\'t, this one actually works. It helps you to see that things are not as bad as they seem, and that you can cope, even when things feel incredibly difficult and that you\'re failing as a parent.

I asked four listeners to help me explain the concept to you, and how it has helped them, and one even went above and beyond and did a live demo for us!

Then I walk you through it step by step, so you can use it when you need it later.


Jump to highlights:
00:00 Introducing today’s topic
02:04 Words can influence our perceptions.
04:02 Anne shares three instances where questioning negative thoughts helped in avoiding unnecessary worry and misunderstandings.
09:46 Elizabeth, a Parenting Membership member for two years, highlights how Jen\'s advice, using the phrase \"I am having the thought that...,\" helped her cope with a challenging parenting situation.
11:54 Melissa used self-compassion and questioning negative thoughts to find self-compassion and regain confidence.
13:11 Melissa highlights the core aspect of the \"magic trick\" by framing these thoughts as \"I\'m thinking\" rather than absolute truths.
14:46 Jen calls listeners to try a mindful exercise where \"I\'m thinking that...\" is added before self-judgments or judgments about others.
20:20 Adding \"I\'m thinking that...\" before judgments can foster understanding, compassion, and better relationships, as demonstrated by Jen’s dishwasher experience.
25:07 Nicole shares how her meditation practice led her to explore the concept of not believing everything she thinks 
27:47 Recognizing our perspective isn\'t the only truth can help us shift from self-centered thinking when hurt by someone.
28:36 The concept of not believing everything we think promotes a balanced perspective on our life stories.]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/b53b6cd7ea4adf3d68534794256c70ca.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='35760000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2343</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030377/you-dont-have-to-believe-everything-you-think.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030377/you-dont-have-to-believe-everything-you-think.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >What to do with the myth of Polyvagal Theory</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/what-to-do-with-the-myth-of-polyvagal-theory-1788573898/33030378</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280451</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 17 Sep 2023 22:00:33 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Polyvagal Theory is everywhere these days. 

Psychologists talk about it; parenting coaches talk about it; if you’re in the mental health field you’re probably referring to polyvagal theory in some way. So one would assume that there’s lots of evidence for it, right? Well, maybe. Maybe not. 

In this episode I dig into the foundational principles of Polyvagal Theory and find that there\'s a lot less evidence supporting it than you might think, given how many places it\'s used. 

So what\'s going on? Is it legit? Should we be using a different theory to understand our experience instead? 

But all may not be lost! Maybe there are aspects of the theory that we can still use...the episode suggests a path forward on this.

Jump to highlights:
00:00 Introduction to this episode
04:05 Three defining principles of the Polyvagal Theory
09:01 The challenges in reconciling PVT’s popularity with the lack of scientific evidence supporting its core premises
21:09 Dr. Stephen Porges\' 1995 paper on Polyvagal Theory (PVT) is examined, including references to Charles Darwin\'s support, removal of a premise, and disagreements with Dr. Paul Grossman
24:35 Dr. Stephen Porges\' 2007 paper on Polyvagal Theory introduces four principles about heart regulation and the vagus nerve\'s role in social engagement behaviors
32:12 Dr. Doody challenges the assumptions behind Polyvagal Theory
36:34 Experts challenge Polyvagal Theory (PVT) by refuting its foundational premises, raising the need for alternative models and further evidence examination
42:05 Bloggers and experts offer mixed views on Polyvagal Theory (PVT): some argue it can adapt without changing its core, while others label it a myth
45:31 Jen evaluates the usefulness of Polyvagal Theory (PVT) considering evidence both for and against it
48:01 The existence of alternative theories to Polyvagal Theory (PVT) is a key consideration in evaluating its validity
48:35 Polyvagal Theory (PVT) is still debated, with limited evidence both for and against it, and alternative theories lacking strong support.
55:24 The cultural context and alignment between a therapist\'s explanation and a client\'s understanding are essential for therapeutic success
01:06:23 Indigenous perspectives emphasize the importance of understanding dynamic systems in place and time, which aligns with Dr. Porges\' attempt to examine a broader system in polyvagal theory
01:11:55 The Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP), based on polyvagal theory (PVT), lacks substantial scientific evidence supporting its effectiveness]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Polyvagal Theory is everywhere these days. 

Psychologists talk about it; parenting coaches talk about it; if you’re in the mental health field you’re probably referring to polyvagal theory in some way. So one would assume that there’s lots of evidence for it, right? Well, maybe. Maybe not. 

In this episode I dig into the foundational principles of Polyvagal Theory and find that there\'s a lot less evidence supporting it than you might think, given how many places it\'s used. 

So what\'s going on? Is it legit? Should we be using a different theory to understand our experience instead? 

But all may not be lost! Maybe there are aspects of the theory that we can still use...the episode suggests a path forward on this.

Jump to highlights:
00:00 Introduction to this episode
04:05 Three defining principles of the Polyvagal Theory
09:01 The challenges in reconciling PVT’s popularity with the lack of scientific evidence supporting its core premises
21:09 Dr. Stephen Porges\' 1995 paper on Polyvagal Theory (PVT) is examined, including references to Charles Darwin\'s support, removal of a premise, and disagreements with Dr. Paul Grossman
24:35 Dr. Stephen Porges\' 2007 paper on Polyvagal Theory introduces four principles about heart regulation and the vagus nerve\'s role in social engagement behaviors
32:12 Dr. Doody challenges the assumptions behind Polyvagal Theory
36:34 Experts challenge Polyvagal Theory (PVT) by refuting its foundational premises, raising the need for alternative models and further evidence examination
42:05 Bloggers and experts offer mixed views on Polyvagal Theory (PVT): some argue it can adapt without changing its core, while others label it a myth
45:31 Jen evaluates the usefulness of Polyvagal Theory (PVT) considering evidence both for and against it
48:01 The existence of alternative theories to Polyvagal Theory (PVT) is a key consideration in evaluating its validity
48:35 Polyvagal Theory (PVT) is still debated, with limited evidence both for and against it, and alternative theories lacking strong support.
55:24 The cultural context and alignment between a therapist\'s explanation and a client\'s understanding are essential for therapeutic success
01:06:23 Indigenous perspectives emphasize the importance of understanding dynamic systems in place and time, which aligns with Dr. Porges\' attempt to examine a broader system in polyvagal theory
01:11:55 The Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP), based on polyvagal theory (PVT), lacks substantial scientific evidence supporting its effectiveness]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/1958d5fde75744679da2e5eb7e894185.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='69820000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >4575</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030378/what-to-do-with-the-myth-of-polyvagal-theory.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030378/what-to-do-with-the-myth-of-polyvagal-theory.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Parenting Beyond Power launch celebration</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/parenting-beyond-power-launch-celebration-1788573898/33030379</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280432</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Tue, 05 Sep 2023 07:00:24 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Parenting Beyond Power is officially available today! Come join a mini-celebration with me in this podcast episode, and TODAY on Zoom at 11am Pacific/2pm Eastern/8pm Central Europe, and in-person this weekend if you\'re in the Bay Area!

Do you celebrate your achievements? I don\'t know about you, but I find it pretty difficult.

I didn\'t celebrate getting into Berkeley or Yale, or graduating from either of those places either (in fact, I think I was in the car driving away from each of those places when the graduation ceremonies happened).

I didn\'t celebrate getting U.S. citizenship, or have a baby shower, and Alvin and Carys buy or make me a birthday cake every year because they want to, but I don\'t really celebrate that either.

I didn\'t celebrate signing a book deal two years ago, and when we rolled over 3 million downloads recently I asked someone on my team to make a quick social post...and that was it.

So celebrating the book\'s launch feels...weird to me. But apparently people who write books do it, so I\'m giving it a try - Jen style.

I invited a listener, MJ, to ask me whatever questions she had about the book and the writing process for a mini-celebration.

(I did slip in a couple of questions for her as well, and I have to say that her response to me asking what she got out of the book was really meaningful for me - she now understands her own Mom in a way she hadn\'t been able to until now, which has brought MJ some measure of relief.)

Come join one of our mini-celebrations! Listen to the podcast episode, or join me live today...or both!

Click here to register for the live Zoom event - TODAY!
https://learn.yourparentingmojo.com/PBPZoomLaunchEvent

Jump to highlights:
00:00 Introduction to today’s episode
04:13 What sets Parenting Beyond Power apart for long-time podcast listeners and Parenting Membership members
05:01 What Jen wants to accomplish in writing Parenting Beyond Power
08:56 How the needs cupcake came about
11:38 How Jen came up with the book’s title
14:26 MJ shares a positive change in setting boundaries with her daughter and questions why the same advice, given a year apart, yielded such different results
21:58 How the book addresses common parenting challenges
35:18 Jen’s perspective on neurodiversity in the context of the book\'s approach
41:01 The importance of addressing privilege and White supremacy in parenting
46:10 The feasibility of meeting everyone\'s needs in society
52:30 Wrapping up]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Parenting Beyond Power is officially available today! Come join a mini-celebration with me in this podcast episode, and TODAY on Zoom at 11am Pacific/2pm Eastern/8pm Central Europe, and in-person this weekend if you\'re in the Bay Area!

Do you celebrate your achievements? I don\'t know about you, but I find it pretty difficult.

I didn\'t celebrate getting into Berkeley or Yale, or graduating from either of those places either (in fact, I think I was in the car driving away from each of those places when the graduation ceremonies happened).

I didn\'t celebrate getting U.S. citizenship, or have a baby shower, and Alvin and Carys buy or make me a birthday cake every year because they want to, but I don\'t really celebrate that either.

I didn\'t celebrate signing a book deal two years ago, and when we rolled over 3 million downloads recently I asked someone on my team to make a quick social post...and that was it.

So celebrating the book\'s launch feels...weird to me. But apparently people who write books do it, so I\'m giving it a try - Jen style.

I invited a listener, MJ, to ask me whatever questions she had about the book and the writing process for a mini-celebration.

(I did slip in a couple of questions for her as well, and I have to say that her response to me asking what she got out of the book was really meaningful for me - she now understands her own Mom in a way she hadn\'t been able to until now, which has brought MJ some measure of relief.)

Come join one of our mini-celebrations! Listen to the podcast episode, or join me live today...or both!

Click here to register for the live Zoom event - TODAY!
https://learn.yourparentingmojo.com/PBPZoomLaunchEvent

Jump to highlights:
00:00 Introduction to today’s episode
04:13 What sets Parenting Beyond Power apart for long-time podcast listeners and Parenting Membership members
05:01 What Jen wants to accomplish in writing Parenting Beyond Power
08:56 How the needs cupcake came about
11:38 How Jen came up with the book’s title
14:26 MJ shares a positive change in setting boundaries with her daughter and questions why the same advice, given a year apart, yielded such different results
21:58 How the book addresses common parenting challenges
35:18 Jen’s perspective on neurodiversity in the context of the book\'s approach
41:01 The importance of addressing privilege and White supremacy in parenting
46:10 The feasibility of meeting everyone\'s needs in society
52:30 Wrapping up]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/8bd55d01ed27f7e37e846f21db763746.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='51830000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3396</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030379/parenting-beyond-power-launch-celebration.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030379/parenting-beyond-power-launch-celebration.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to use the tools in Parenting Beyond Power</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-use-the-tools-in-parenting-beyond-power-1788573898/33030380</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280486</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 27 Aug 2023 22:00:21 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[One of the questions I\'m asked most often about Parenting Beyond Power (preorder bonuses are available for just a few more days!) is:

How is reading the book different from listening to the podcast?

So when a group of listeners volunteered to get together to discuss what they got out of the book, that was the first thing I wanted to ask them. 

The core premise of the book is that the social forces of White supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism have really hurt us - they\'re the biggest reason why we feel so much pain and shame. And we will pass on those hurts to our own children unless we do something different - and most of the book is about what we actually do differently to make parenting easier today, and work toward creating a world where everyone belongs.

Eliza began: 
Each podcast episode is a deep dive into one topic, and what I loved about the book was that I\'ve spent time thinking about all of these topics separately, but now I see the threads between them so much more clearly so I can see which pieces I still want to think more about or work on.

Kat added: 
I do have some knowledge about how these cultural forces are affecting the population, and I\'m constantly working on addressing them in myself. And the book provides a central place where we can address these issues with ourselves, and our children, and that that branches out into the community and the world at large. I think it\'s very powerful to have that central hub to help me connect all the different pieces of knowledge I have...and then do something with them!

Elizabeth concluded:
The examples are really helpful and I found them easy to connect with. I can\'t wait until I have the physical book in my hand to be able to go through and scribble notes in the margins!

We talked about the needs cupcake, and how we can use that to understand the needs that both we and our children are trying to meet on a regular basis. Eliza found that she\'s able to be more regulated by managing the level of sound around her - which she hadn\'t realized was a \'cherry\' need for her until now!

Eliza coached Elizabeth through a struggle she\'s having with her daughter not wanting to go to bed, and Kat talked through a beautiful story of how she\'s supporting her children, who have been fighting with each other a LOT. Now they fight a lot less, because their needs are met more often. We\'re lucky that we heard Kat share that story before her phone battery died!

Parenting Beyond Power is still available for pre-order for just a few more days...which means the pre-order bonuses are available for just a few more days too! (We will still have some bonuses available after September 5, but some of the coolest ones are going away then.) https://yourparentingmojo.com/book/

And don\'t forget to mark your calendar for our launch events:

Tuesday September 5 from 11am-noon Pacific on Zoom
https://learn.yourparentingmojo.com/PBPZoomLaunchEvent

Sunday September 10 from 10am-noon LIVE in the Bay Area
https://learn.yourparentingmojo.com/BayAreaGrandLaunchEvent

0:00 Introduction to the podcast
5:00 Longtime participants discuss how the book differs from the podcast and other resources, emphasizing its unique value.
8:05 Participants share the tools they learned from the book and any resulting parenting changes.
8:48 Elizabeth applies book tools like problem-solving conversations and the needs cupcake. diagram but grapples with addressing her daughter\'s need for community during bedtime routines.
11:46 Elisa and Elizabeth discuss adapting bedtime routines to balance tasks and the daughter\'s need for connection.
16:13 Jen offers suggestions for Elizabeth on meeting her child’s needs while setting her boundaries.
19:26 Kat shares her struggle with boundary-setting due to being a people-pleaser
21:17 Elisa finds the \"needs cupcake\" concept valuable in recognizing and addressing recurring needs for herself and her children.
27:14 Kat applies the \"needs cupcake\" concept to understand her children\'s primary needs, enabling her to address conflicts more effectively, encourage problem-solving discussions.
38:58 They highlight the significance of acknowledging and addressing unique family needs, challenging gender norms in parenting, and prioritizing the fulfillment of needs for both children and parents to cultivate positive relationships.
43:08 Participants discuss their ongoing journey of personal growth and parenting transformation, highlighting the significance of self-compassion and aligning actions with values.
48:10 Elisa asks about potential content that wasn\'t included in the book, and Jen explains the challenge of balancing content while emphasizing the importance of practical tools. 
50:48 Jen underscores the significance of consistent efforts based on personal values rather than perfection, emphasizing the uniqueness of every parent-child interaction.
53:15 Jen wraps up as she reflects on the question of whether parenting is easy.]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[One of the questions I\'m asked most often about Parenting Beyond Power (preorder bonuses are available for just a few more days!) is:

How is reading the book different from listening to the podcast?

So when a group of listeners volunteered to get together to discuss what they got out of the book, that was the first thing I wanted to ask them. 

The core premise of the book is that the social forces of White supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism have really hurt us - they\'re the biggest reason why we feel so much pain and shame. And we will pass on those hurts to our own children unless we do something different - and most of the book is about what we actually do differently to make parenting easier today, and work toward creating a world where everyone belongs.

Eliza began: 
Each podcast episode is a deep dive into one topic, and what I loved about the book was that I\'ve spent time thinking about all of these topics separately, but now I see the threads between them so much more clearly so I can see which pieces I still want to think more about or work on.

Kat added: 
I do have some knowledge about how these cultural forces are affecting the population, and I\'m constantly working on addressing them in myself. And the book provides a central place where we can address these issues with ourselves, and our children, and that that branches out into the community and the world at large. I think it\'s very powerful to have that central hub to help me connect all the different pieces of knowledge I have...and then do something with them!

Elizabeth concluded:
The examples are really helpful and I found them easy to connect with. I can\'t wait until I have the physical book in my hand to be able to go through and scribble notes in the margins!

We talked about the needs cupcake, and how we can use that to understand the needs that both we and our children are trying to meet on a regular basis. Eliza found that she\'s able to be more regulated by managing the level of sound around her - which she hadn\'t realized was a \'cherry\' need for her until now!

Eliza coached Elizabeth through a struggle she\'s having with her daughter not wanting to go to bed, and Kat talked through a beautiful story of how she\'s supporting her children, who have been fighting with each other a LOT. Now they fight a lot less, because their needs are met more often. We\'re lucky that we heard Kat share that story before her phone battery died!

Parenting Beyond Power is still available for pre-order for just a few more days...which means the pre-order bonuses are available for just a few more days too! (We will still have some bonuses available after September 5, but some of the coolest ones are going away then.) https://yourparentingmojo.com/book/

And don\'t forget to mark your calendar for our launch events:

Tuesday September 5 from 11am-noon Pacific on Zoom
https://learn.yourparentingmojo.com/PBPZoomLaunchEvent

Sunday September 10 from 10am-noon LIVE in the Bay Area
https://learn.yourparentingmojo.com/BayAreaGrandLaunchEvent

0:00 Introduction to the podcast
5:00 Longtime participants discuss how the book differs from the podcast and other resources, emphasizing its unique value.
8:05 Participants share the tools they learned from the book and any resulting parenting changes.
8:48 Elizabeth applies book tools like problem-solving conversations and the needs cupcake. diagram but grapples with addressing her daughter\'s need for community during bedtime routines.
11:46 Elisa and Elizabeth discuss adapting bedtime routines to balance tasks and the daughter\'s need for connection.
16:13 Jen offers suggestions for Elizabeth on meeting her child’s needs while setting her boundaries.
19:26 Kat shares her struggle with boundary-setting due to being a people-pleaser
21:17 Elisa finds the \"needs cupcake\" concept valuable in recognizing and addressing recurring needs for herself and her children.
27:14 Kat applies the \"needs cupcake\" concept to understand her children\'s primary needs, enabling her to address conflicts more effectively, encourage problem-solving discussions.
38:58 They highlight the significance of acknowledging and addressing unique family needs, challenging gender norms in parenting, and prioritizing the fulfillment of needs for both children and parents to cultivate positive relationships.
43:08 Participants discuss their ongoing journey of personal growth and parenting transformation, highlighting the significance of self-compassion and aligning actions with values.
48:10 Elisa asks about potential content that wasn\'t included in the book, and Jen explains the challenge of balancing content while emphasizing the importance of practical tools. 
50:48 Jen underscores the significance of consistent efforts based on personal values rather than perfection, emphasizing the uniqueness of every parent-child interaction.
53:15 Jen wraps up as she reflects on the question of whether parenting is easy.]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/429484734b9bf306d7f5749ea7267da7.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='52200000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3421</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030380/how-to-use-the-tools-in-parenting-beyond-power.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030380/how-to-use-the-tools-in-parenting-beyond-power.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Jen Lumanlan, \&apos;Parenting Beyond Power\&apos; Book Trailer - A Better Way (Now Available!)</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/jen-lumanlan-parenting-beyond-power-book-trailer-a-better-way-now-available-1788573898/33030381</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280428</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Tue, 15 Aug 2023 06:00:16 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[From host & founder of the research-based Your Parenting Mojo podcast, Jen Lumanlan, comes a trailblazing book that will make parenting easier, transform your family - and change the world.

FAMILY LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.

Released on Sept. 5, 2023 - learn more and get a copy of the book at:

https://yourparentingmojo.com/book/]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[From host & founder of the research-based Your Parenting Mojo podcast, Jen Lumanlan, comes a trailblazing book that will make parenting easier, transform your family - and change the world.

FAMILY LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.

Released on Sept. 5, 2023 - learn more and get a copy of the book at:

https://yourparentingmojo.com/book/]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/538ea01f77f32162910268585cfd6c82.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='4100000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >268</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030381/jen-lumanlan-parenting-beyond-power-book-trailer-a-better-way-now-available.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030381/jen-lumanlan-parenting-beyond-power-book-trailer-a-better-way-now-available.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Childhood Unlimited with Virginia Mendez</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/childhood-unlimited-with-virginia-mendez-1788573898/33030382</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280409</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 13 Aug 2023 22:00:13 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Do you try to give your children messages about gender that are aligned with your values? Do you tell your daughter that she can do anything she wants to do, and look for shows that have equal representation of male- and female-presenting characters?

If so, you\'re off to a good start.

And...there\'s so much more to do.

One of the core ideas in my book, Parenting Beyond Power, is that we parents pass cultural messages on to our children. We do that through the books we read, the actions we praise, and the conversations we have (or don\'t have).

I don\'t censor the books I\'m reading to Carys - we just talk about them. Right now we\'re reading Wild Born, Book 1 of the Spirit Animals collection. (I did check to make sure that the concept of \'spirit animals\' isn\'t disrespectful to Indigenous people...it turns out it\'s a concept that White people made up, and it\'s only disrespectful if we try to link it to Indigenous practices.)

Here\'s an excerpt from the beginning of Chapter 3: 

\"Meilin sat on a cushion before her looking glass, meticulously applying facial paint. She didn\'t mind letting her handmaidens prepare her for festivals or banquets. But today was important. Today she wanted to look just right. And when you wanted something done right, you did it yourself.

After finishing the accents around her eyes, Meilin inspected her handiwork. It was a work of art atop a work of art. People always remarked that she was stunning. She had never needed paint on her face to earn compliments. But now she possessed an allure beyond her natural beauty.\"

It goes on to describe the strategic imperfection in her hair that made it \"more appealing,\" and then she practices the looks she will display during her ceremony.

There\'s a lot going on here... It starts with the White supremacy-based idea that if you want something done right you can never rely on others but only do it yourself. (This book seems to be primarily about relationships, so I assume it\'s marketed to girls. And we wonder where women and mothers get the idea that they have to do it all themselves if we want it done right?) The book opened with a male character who obviously cared a lot about his clothes who waited impatiently while a servant connected forty eight clasps.

No male character\'s face is described in this level of detail. No male character puts paint on their face. No male character is introduced to the reader as an object to be looked upon with desire.

This is how cultural ideas are passed on.

This is how girls learn that being pretty has currency.

That it\'s a girl\'s job to create and use their appearance to manipulate others.

And if any boys happen to be reading, they learn that their job is to judge the performance.

These messages are harmful for all children, because they say that certain behaviors aren\'t acceptable in certain children - for no other reason than it doesn\'t match their genitals (of all things!).

What messages are your children learning about gender from the books you\'re reading to them, or that they\'re reading by themselves?

In this episode Virginia Mendez, author of Childhood Unlimited: Parenting Beyond the Gender Bias https://www.amazon.com/Childhood-Unlimited-Parenting-Beyond-Gender/dp/1529395380 (affiliate link), helps us to see examples like this in books, films, toys, and even in the language we use around and toward our children.

Join me for this fun conversation with Virginia as we learn how to raise children who won\'t be constrained by their gender, and who can express their full selves.

Jump to highlights:
00:00 Introduction of this episode’s topic and guest
01:28 Sex involves biological traits while gender is a diverse social identity that defies binary categorization.
04:01 Children\'s gender differences are largely influenced by societal norms and upbringing.
09:11 Pink\'s gender association shifted historically due to color symbolism, marketing, and cultural influences.
10:42 Despite some progress, children\'s media retains subtle gender biases and stereotypes.
24:18 Embracing non-binary identities, using inclusive pronouns, and challenging traditional gender categories can promote a more respectful and inclusive society.
30:01 Virginia Mendez\'s book highlights the societal constraints on children\'s potential due to gender stereotypes.
43:15 Those new to the concept of non-binary identities should focus on cultivating awareness and curiosity about non-binary identities, while those already familiar can continue having open conversations with their children and encouraging exploration for an inclusive and understanding environment.
46:59 Embrace discomfort as a sign of personal growth and be open to adjusting to non-binary language and identities.]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Do you try to give your children messages about gender that are aligned with your values? Do you tell your daughter that she can do anything she wants to do, and look for shows that have equal representation of male- and female-presenting characters?

If so, you\'re off to a good start.

And...there\'s so much more to do.

One of the core ideas in my book, Parenting Beyond Power, is that we parents pass cultural messages on to our children. We do that through the books we read, the actions we praise, and the conversations we have (or don\'t have).

I don\'t censor the books I\'m reading to Carys - we just talk about them. Right now we\'re reading Wild Born, Book 1 of the Spirit Animals collection. (I did check to make sure that the concept of \'spirit animals\' isn\'t disrespectful to Indigenous people...it turns out it\'s a concept that White people made up, and it\'s only disrespectful if we try to link it to Indigenous practices.)

Here\'s an excerpt from the beginning of Chapter 3: 

\"Meilin sat on a cushion before her looking glass, meticulously applying facial paint. She didn\'t mind letting her handmaidens prepare her for festivals or banquets. But today was important. Today she wanted to look just right. And when you wanted something done right, you did it yourself.

After finishing the accents around her eyes, Meilin inspected her handiwork. It was a work of art atop a work of art. People always remarked that she was stunning. She had never needed paint on her face to earn compliments. But now she possessed an allure beyond her natural beauty.\"

It goes on to describe the strategic imperfection in her hair that made it \"more appealing,\" and then she practices the looks she will display during her ceremony.

There\'s a lot going on here... It starts with the White supremacy-based idea that if you want something done right you can never rely on others but only do it yourself. (This book seems to be primarily about relationships, so I assume it\'s marketed to girls. And we wonder where women and mothers get the idea that they have to do it all themselves if we want it done right?) The book opened with a male character who obviously cared a lot about his clothes who waited impatiently while a servant connected forty eight clasps.

No male character\'s face is described in this level of detail. No male character puts paint on their face. No male character is introduced to the reader as an object to be looked upon with desire.

This is how cultural ideas are passed on.

This is how girls learn that being pretty has currency.

That it\'s a girl\'s job to create and use their appearance to manipulate others.

And if any boys happen to be reading, they learn that their job is to judge the performance.

These messages are harmful for all children, because they say that certain behaviors aren\'t acceptable in certain children - for no other reason than it doesn\'t match their genitals (of all things!).

What messages are your children learning about gender from the books you\'re reading to them, or that they\'re reading by themselves?

In this episode Virginia Mendez, author of Childhood Unlimited: Parenting Beyond the Gender Bias https://www.amazon.com/Childhood-Unlimited-Parenting-Beyond-Gender/dp/1529395380 (affiliate link), helps us to see examples like this in books, films, toys, and even in the language we use around and toward our children.

Join me for this fun conversation with Virginia as we learn how to raise children who won\'t be constrained by their gender, and who can express their full selves.

Jump to highlights:
00:00 Introduction of this episode’s topic and guest
01:28 Sex involves biological traits while gender is a diverse social identity that defies binary categorization.
04:01 Children\'s gender differences are largely influenced by societal norms and upbringing.
09:11 Pink\'s gender association shifted historically due to color symbolism, marketing, and cultural influences.
10:42 Despite some progress, children\'s media retains subtle gender biases and stereotypes.
24:18 Embracing non-binary identities, using inclusive pronouns, and challenging traditional gender categories can promote a more respectful and inclusive society.
30:01 Virginia Mendez\'s book highlights the societal constraints on children\'s potential due to gender stereotypes.
43:15 Those new to the concept of non-binary identities should focus on cultivating awareness and curiosity about non-binary identities, while those already familiar can continue having open conversations with their children and encouraging exploration for an inclusive and understanding environment.
46:59 Embrace discomfort as a sign of personal growth and be open to adjusting to non-binary language and identities.]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/60c3fbd218c6fb1dcad0a5880dda3f87.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='47420000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3107</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030382/childhood-unlimited-with-virginia-mendez.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030382/childhood-unlimited-with-virginia-mendez.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Q&amp;A #4: Is it safe to delay math learning?</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/qa-4-is-it-safe-to-delay-math-learning-1788573898/33030383</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280491</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 30 Jul 2023 22:00:25 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[In this episode we hear from listener Lindsay who wonders whether it\'s safe to delay math learning, since (they\'ve heard) there\'s a \'critical window\' for learning language. 

Would delaying math learning mean that our child can\'t catch up later? Will they develop a negative view of their own learning? What if they can\'t get into college? We address all of these questions and more.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to
https://yourparentingmojo.com/delaymath

00:00 Listener Lindsay asks the question, “How safe is it to neglect math education 
until your child shows some kind of interest in wanting to do it?”
01:48 Jen gives her academic history in math and admits to applying problem-solving 
strategies without full comprehension.
07:44 The critical period for learning seen in animal research also applies to children 
with severe language deprivation during early months.
08:51 The critical period for language development and second language acquisition 
is questioned in relation to math learning.
12:58 Sudbury School\'s anecdotal evidence suggests children can learn math quickly 
when motivated, sparking questions about early teaching, fostering a love of learning, and the impact on future opportunities.
15:54 Emphasizing intrinsic motivation over forced comparisons in math fosters 
self-awareness, more vital for a fulfilling life than specific skills.
19:31 Cognitively Guided Instruction values children\'s math knowledge, encourages 
pattern exploration, and validates individual methods, fostering a deeper understanding of math concepts.
22:09 Fostering children\'s intuitive understanding of math through collaborative 
learning and self-developed algorithms is a powerful approach.
24:01 Don\'t worry about formal math instruction; children will naturally develop their 
own strategies and algorithms when provided with a supportive learning environment.]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[In this episode we hear from listener Lindsay who wonders whether it\'s safe to delay math learning, since (they\'ve heard) there\'s a \'critical window\' for learning language. 

Would delaying math learning mean that our child can\'t catch up later? Will they develop a negative view of their own learning? What if they can\'t get into college? We address all of these questions and more.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to
https://yourparentingmojo.com/delaymath

00:00 Listener Lindsay asks the question, “How safe is it to neglect math education 
until your child shows some kind of interest in wanting to do it?”
01:48 Jen gives her academic history in math and admits to applying problem-solving 
strategies without full comprehension.
07:44 The critical period for learning seen in animal research also applies to children 
with severe language deprivation during early months.
08:51 The critical period for language development and second language acquisition 
is questioned in relation to math learning.
12:58 Sudbury School\'s anecdotal evidence suggests children can learn math quickly 
when motivated, sparking questions about early teaching, fostering a love of learning, and the impact on future opportunities.
15:54 Emphasizing intrinsic motivation over forced comparisons in math fosters 
self-awareness, more vital for a fulfilling life than specific skills.
19:31 Cognitively Guided Instruction values children\'s math knowledge, encourages 
pattern exploration, and validates individual methods, fostering a deeper understanding of math concepts.
22:09 Fostering children\'s intuitive understanding of math through collaborative 
learning and self-developed algorithms is a powerful approach.
24:01 Don\'t worry about formal math instruction; children will naturally develop their 
own strategies and algorithms when provided with a supportive learning environment.]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/7543ee7bed9779f28c6ca5fa6c158316.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='24090000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >1687</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030383/qa-4-is-it-safe-to-delay-math-learning.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030383/qa-4-is-it-safe-to-delay-math-learning.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to learn way beyond \&apos;doing well in school\&apos;</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-learn-way-beyond-doing-well-in-school-1788573898/33030384</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280419</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 16 Jul 2023 22:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[When you listen to this episode you may get a bit of a sense of deja vu - way back in 2020, listener Kelly reached out to me and asked if I would be willing to do an episode on parental burnout, which she was struggling to navigate at the time. We ended up interviewing Dr. Moira Mikolajczak, one of the world\'s experts on parental burnout.

After the conversation Dr. Mikolajczak expressed to me how much her heart went out to Kelly, who was navigating what seemed like an individual-level problem when it was actually very much our society\'s failure to support her that created the problem. Having explored the connection between race and parenting in a series of episodes the previous year, ideas were definitely percolating for me about how societal issues show up in our families which is, of course, a massive theme in my book (which will be published on September 5!).

So it was so amazing to see Kelly recently in a much better place, reflecting on the connections between her school-based learning and her burnout, and how she\'s taking steps to help her child learn lessons she thinks are truly important, like how to:

Think critically about messages she receives from other people;

See multiple people\'s needs in an interaction, and find ways to meet both of their needs;

Learn about the world immediately around her (which often involves Kelly backing off and not doing anything, rather than stepping in to teach a lesson).

Kelly\'s children are certainly learning profound lessons in this process - but so is Kelly. I\'m not sure I\'ve ever seen anyone so delighted to say that she\'s thrown out a puzzle book that still had three un-done puzzles in that she didn\'t want to do, having (finally) learned that it\'s OK not to finish every single thing you start. Because not being able to do that can lead to burnout.

If you want to get a taste for what it\'s like to be in the Learning Membership, sign up for the FREE 90 minute You Are Your Child\'s Best Teacher masterclass. It\'s available to watch on demand during between July 24 - August 6. Sign up now and we\'ll send it over on July 24th! - https://yourparentingmojo.com/bestteacher/


00:00 Introduction to today’s topic
02:34 In the Netherlands, Kelly (who later discovered she had ADHD) attended a non-religious public school, enjoyed learning despite feeling out of place, and found ways to stay engaged.
06:32 Kelly’s burnout was influenced by her tendency to prioritize meeting teachers\' expectations rather than pursuing genuine interest, the impact of ADHD on her learning experience, and the mismatch between her learning style and the educational system.
12:12 Before working with Jen, Kelly focused on academic subjects for her child\'s learning, but found it challenging to be at home with the children all day due to energy limitations.
14:13 Kelly considered homeschooling but found that the strict regulations in the Netherlands, along with the lack of community support and limited options for activities during the day, made it extremely difficult. 
15:25 Kelly engages in discussions with her daughter about the school system, emphasizes meeting individual needs, and recognizes her advanced learning beyond the classroom.
23:33 Kelly engages in informal and organic learning explorations with her children, fostering deep learning and strengthening their relationship.
30:37 Kelly\'s perspective has shifted, realizing that she doesn\'t have to finish everything and can find alternative approaches that work for her and her family, leading to a more relaxed and fulfilling approach to learning and life.
35:19 Kelly feels more relaxed and confident in her role as a parent, allowing her child to learn from mistakes and pursue their own interests, while also engaging in important discussions about diversity and the environment to prepare her child for adulthood.
39:11 Kelly advises parents to have faith in their child\'s learning, embrace peace and calm, enjoy their child\'s curiosity, and play along with their exploration for their happiness and growth as individuals and good citizens.]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[When you listen to this episode you may get a bit of a sense of deja vu - way back in 2020, listener Kelly reached out to me and asked if I would be willing to do an episode on parental burnout, which she was struggling to navigate at the time. We ended up interviewing Dr. Moira Mikolajczak, one of the world\'s experts on parental burnout.

After the conversation Dr. Mikolajczak expressed to me how much her heart went out to Kelly, who was navigating what seemed like an individual-level problem when it was actually very much our society\'s failure to support her that created the problem. Having explored the connection between race and parenting in a series of episodes the previous year, ideas were definitely percolating for me about how societal issues show up in our families which is, of course, a massive theme in my book (which will be published on September 5!).

So it was so amazing to see Kelly recently in a much better place, reflecting on the connections between her school-based learning and her burnout, and how she\'s taking steps to help her child learn lessons she thinks are truly important, like how to:

Think critically about messages she receives from other people;

See multiple people\'s needs in an interaction, and find ways to meet both of their needs;

Learn about the world immediately around her (which often involves Kelly backing off and not doing anything, rather than stepping in to teach a lesson).

Kelly\'s children are certainly learning profound lessons in this process - but so is Kelly. I\'m not sure I\'ve ever seen anyone so delighted to say that she\'s thrown out a puzzle book that still had three un-done puzzles in that she didn\'t want to do, having (finally) learned that it\'s OK not to finish every single thing you start. Because not being able to do that can lead to burnout.

If you want to get a taste for what it\'s like to be in the Learning Membership, sign up for the FREE 90 minute You Are Your Child\'s Best Teacher masterclass. It\'s available to watch on demand during between July 24 - August 6. Sign up now and we\'ll send it over on July 24th! - https://yourparentingmojo.com/bestteacher/


00:00 Introduction to today’s topic
02:34 In the Netherlands, Kelly (who later discovered she had ADHD) attended a non-religious public school, enjoyed learning despite feeling out of place, and found ways to stay engaged.
06:32 Kelly’s burnout was influenced by her tendency to prioritize meeting teachers\' expectations rather than pursuing genuine interest, the impact of ADHD on her learning experience, and the mismatch between her learning style and the educational system.
12:12 Before working with Jen, Kelly focused on academic subjects for her child\'s learning, but found it challenging to be at home with the children all day due to energy limitations.
14:13 Kelly considered homeschooling but found that the strict regulations in the Netherlands, along with the lack of community support and limited options for activities during the day, made it extremely difficult. 
15:25 Kelly engages in discussions with her daughter about the school system, emphasizes meeting individual needs, and recognizes her advanced learning beyond the classroom.
23:33 Kelly engages in informal and organic learning explorations with her children, fostering deep learning and strengthening their relationship.
30:37 Kelly\'s perspective has shifted, realizing that she doesn\'t have to finish everything and can find alternative approaches that work for her and her family, leading to a more relaxed and fulfilling approach to learning and life.
35:19 Kelly feels more relaxed and confident in her role as a parent, allowing her child to learn from mistakes and pursue their own interests, while also engaging in important discussions about diversity and the environment to prepare her child for adulthood.
39:11 Kelly advises parents to have faith in their child\'s learning, embrace peace and calm, enjoy their child\'s curiosity, and play along with their exploration for their happiness and growth as individuals and good citizens.]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/8f3de743a327384de1d8fad272e77159.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='39900000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2614</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030384/how-to-learn-way-beyond-doing-well-in-school.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030384/how-to-learn-way-beyond-doing-well-in-school.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Jen Lumanlan, \&apos;Parenting Beyond Power\&apos; Book Trailer - It All Starts at Home (PRE-SALE NOW AVAILABLE)</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/jen-lumanlan-parenting-beyond-power-book-trailer-it-all-starts-at-home-pre-sale-now-available-1788573898/33030385</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280437</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Thu, 13 Jul 2023 07:00:08 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[For those of you who don\'t already know, for the past 2+ years I\'ve been busy writing, editing and producing my first book. With the support of Sasquatch Books | Penguin Random House, I am excited to share...

Parenting Beyond Power: How to use Connection & Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World is now available for pre-order! That means the book will ship out to you as soon as it’s available on September 5.

I\'m especially excited about the book because it describes how the same tools that make parenting easier today will also help us to create a world where all of us can feel a deep sense of belonging and \'right\'-ness.

Why buy the book?

If you’ve been around the podcast for a while (and I know there are some of you who have listened to every episode), you may be wondering: is there anything new in this book? Am I really going to learn anything?

And the answer to that question is: almost certainly yes.

The book has two main aims. It starts by connecting the parenting struggles from our daily lives with the big social challenges that impact all of us (although some of us much more than others).

It helps you to see how the social justice values you hold are not just important and relevant out in the wider world, but in your home and your relationship with your children too. I’ve never fully articulated that vision anywhere before, even on the podcast.

Once that premise is established, you’ll likely wonder: “Well, great - I’m on board with that idea - now what do I do about it?” The rest of the book addresses that issue, and provides a simple yet comprehensive set of tools that you can use to approach pretty much any challenge you’re having with your child and come out the other side with a plan that works for both of you.

For real. 

And all without:

 Trickery
 Bribery
 Giving ‘choices’
 Rewards/punishments
 Anything else you do to get your child to listen to you that feels kind of crummy but somehow necessary just to make it through the day.

Instead, you’ll learn how to identify and meet your child’s needs on a regular basis, using brand new tools like Feelings and Needs cupcakes, and flow charts, and starter scripts.

You’ll know which tool to apply in which type of situation, even in those rare ones when you can’t meet both people’s needs.

That means you’ll no longer be trying to figure out whether you’re too strict or too permissive - because you’ll know that the way you’re interacting with your child on everyday issues that seem to be about discipline is deeply aligned with your values as a human being.

Want to get those tools now?

Want to start reading today?

I’ve got some awesome pre-order bonuses available for you at yourparentingmojo.com/book.

(Pre-orders are also super helpful to authors because they communicate to booksellers that readers are interested in it, so the bookseller should order more copies. Thanks so much for your support!)

When you preorder today, you\'ll get:

 Printable worksheets from the book
 The first chapters so you can start reading right away
 A group coaching call with me (and maybe a 1:1 as well)
 How-to videos to bring the ideas from the book to life
 A free spot in October’s Taming Your Triggers workshop 
 The opportunity to have me hold a workshop based on the tools in the book for your (pre)school, mission-aligned church, employee resource group, community organization…

Can’t wait a moment longer? Get your pre-order in today at yourparentingmojo.com/book
More book news to come, thanks to all of my listeners for your support!

----

Video Music Credit:
Wonders by Alex-Productions | https://onsound.eu/
Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com
Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[For those of you who don\'t already know, for the past 2+ years I\'ve been busy writing, editing and producing my first book. With the support of Sasquatch Books | Penguin Random House, I am excited to share...

Parenting Beyond Power: How to use Connection & Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World is now available for pre-order! That means the book will ship out to you as soon as it’s available on September 5.

I\'m especially excited about the book because it describes how the same tools that make parenting easier today will also help us to create a world where all of us can feel a deep sense of belonging and \'right\'-ness.

Why buy the book?

If you’ve been around the podcast for a while (and I know there are some of you who have listened to every episode), you may be wondering: is there anything new in this book? Am I really going to learn anything?

And the answer to that question is: almost certainly yes.

The book has two main aims. It starts by connecting the parenting struggles from our daily lives with the big social challenges that impact all of us (although some of us much more than others).

It helps you to see how the social justice values you hold are not just important and relevant out in the wider world, but in your home and your relationship with your children too. I’ve never fully articulated that vision anywhere before, even on the podcast.

Once that premise is established, you’ll likely wonder: “Well, great - I’m on board with that idea - now what do I do about it?” The rest of the book addresses that issue, and provides a simple yet comprehensive set of tools that you can use to approach pretty much any challenge you’re having with your child and come out the other side with a plan that works for both of you.

For real. 

And all without:

 Trickery
 Bribery
 Giving ‘choices’
 Rewards/punishments
 Anything else you do to get your child to listen to you that feels kind of crummy but somehow necessary just to make it through the day.

Instead, you’ll learn how to identify and meet your child’s needs on a regular basis, using brand new tools like Feelings and Needs cupcakes, and flow charts, and starter scripts.

You’ll know which tool to apply in which type of situation, even in those rare ones when you can’t meet both people’s needs.

That means you’ll no longer be trying to figure out whether you’re too strict or too permissive - because you’ll know that the way you’re interacting with your child on everyday issues that seem to be about discipline is deeply aligned with your values as a human being.

Want to get those tools now?

Want to start reading today?

I’ve got some awesome pre-order bonuses available for you at yourparentingmojo.com/book.

(Pre-orders are also super helpful to authors because they communicate to booksellers that readers are interested in it, so the bookseller should order more copies. Thanks so much for your support!)

When you preorder today, you\'ll get:

 Printable worksheets from the book
 The first chapters so you can start reading right away
 A group coaching call with me (and maybe a 1:1 as well)
 How-to videos to bring the ideas from the book to life
 A free spot in October’s Taming Your Triggers workshop 
 The opportunity to have me hold a workshop based on the tools in the book for your (pre)school, mission-aligned church, employee resource group, community organization…

Can’t wait a moment longer? Get your pre-order in today at yourparentingmojo.com/book
More book news to come, thanks to all of my listeners for your support!

----

Video Music Credit:
Wonders by Alex-Productions | https://onsound.eu/
Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com
Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/f179b07862dde1dd3888f0676424aa89.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='2750000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >180</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030385/jen-lumanlan-parenting-beyond-power-book-trailer-it-all-starts-at-home-pre-sale-now-available.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030385/jen-lumanlan-parenting-beyond-power-book-trailer-it-all-starts-at-home-pre-sale-now-available.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >What to do when your child says: \&quot;I\&apos;m booored!\&quot;</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/what-to-do-when-your-child-says-im-booored-1788573898/33030386</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280413</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 09 Jul 2023 22:00:18 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Those of us in the Northern Hemisphere are in the middle of summer now, with the whirlwind of cobbled together childcare and kids at home saying: \"I\'m booored!\".

What\'s happening for them when they\'re saying this?

And, more importantly, what should we DO about it?

We don\'t want to have to entertain them, but what other option is there besides threatening chores?

This episode will help you to answer their question during the summer months in a way that supports their wellbeing, and also address boredom that crops up at other points in the school year. Like when they\'re in school.

Because while I approached this episode from the perspective of navigating summer holidays, it turns out that most researchers can\'t include the word \"child\" and \"bored\" in a study without also including the word \"school.\"


Jump to highlights: 
00:00 Introduction to today’s topic
02:32 Dr. Peter Toohey\'s book explores various definitions of boredom, including 
one tied to predictable circumstances and another linked to existential despair.
04:16 The concept of boredom has evolved over time.
07:57 Boredom can be linked to dopamine levels in the brain.
10:45 Boredom is connected to negative outcomes and low dopamine activity, 
leading to depression, anxiety, addiction, and poor performance
13:51 Boredom in children, particularly in school, has negative consequences on 
academic outcomes and well-being
23:32 Exercising autonomy and pursuing assignments aligned with personal 
interest and relevance can foster intrinsic motivation and enhance student performance and well-being
29:53 The traditional school system prioritizes conformity over individual 
interests, leading to disengagement and boredom
35:47 The Learning Membership offers support and resources for parents to 
cultivate their child\'s intrinsic love of learning, whether they are in school 
or not
38:18 Students can combat boredom in school by gamifying tasks, finding 
personal meaning in them, and recognizing the value of boredom as a guide to more engaging activities
42:54 Boredom serves a purpose in learning by promoting exploration, 
enhancing performance on creative tasks, and signaling the need for 
novelty and change
45:26 The Warlpiri people in Australia embody a cultural mindset of infinite 
patience and being fully present in the moment, where boredom seems non-existent as they engage with their surroundings and find meaning in the immediate place and time
48:17 As explored through the lens of Buddhism, embracing boredom allows us 
to gain insights into our minds and self-identity, fostering a sense of peace
52:40 To wrap up, the response to a child\'s boredom depends on their 
environment–whether they are in school or at home]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Those of us in the Northern Hemisphere are in the middle of summer now, with the whirlwind of cobbled together childcare and kids at home saying: \"I\'m booored!\".

What\'s happening for them when they\'re saying this?

And, more importantly, what should we DO about it?

We don\'t want to have to entertain them, but what other option is there besides threatening chores?

This episode will help you to answer their question during the summer months in a way that supports their wellbeing, and also address boredom that crops up at other points in the school year. Like when they\'re in school.

Because while I approached this episode from the perspective of navigating summer holidays, it turns out that most researchers can\'t include the word \"child\" and \"bored\" in a study without also including the word \"school.\"


Jump to highlights: 
00:00 Introduction to today’s topic
02:32 Dr. Peter Toohey\'s book explores various definitions of boredom, including 
one tied to predictable circumstances and another linked to existential despair.
04:16 The concept of boredom has evolved over time.
07:57 Boredom can be linked to dopamine levels in the brain.
10:45 Boredom is connected to negative outcomes and low dopamine activity, 
leading to depression, anxiety, addiction, and poor performance
13:51 Boredom in children, particularly in school, has negative consequences on 
academic outcomes and well-being
23:32 Exercising autonomy and pursuing assignments aligned with personal 
interest and relevance can foster intrinsic motivation and enhance student performance and well-being
29:53 The traditional school system prioritizes conformity over individual 
interests, leading to disengagement and boredom
35:47 The Learning Membership offers support and resources for parents to 
cultivate their child\'s intrinsic love of learning, whether they are in school 
or not
38:18 Students can combat boredom in school by gamifying tasks, finding 
personal meaning in them, and recognizing the value of boredom as a guide to more engaging activities
42:54 Boredom serves a purpose in learning by promoting exploration, 
enhancing performance on creative tasks, and signaling the need for 
novelty and change
45:26 The Warlpiri people in Australia embody a cultural mindset of infinite 
patience and being fully present in the moment, where boredom seems non-existent as they engage with their surroundings and find meaning in the immediate place and time
48:17 As explored through the lens of Buddhism, embracing boredom allows us 
to gain insights into our minds and self-identity, fostering a sense of peace
52:40 To wrap up, the response to a child\'s boredom depends on their 
environment–whether they are in school or at home]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/d9ba3835856613c7d6e829aa50319419.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='54920000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3599</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030386/what-to-do-when-your-child-says-im-booored.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030386/what-to-do-when-your-child-says-im-booored.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Why do you have to go to work?</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/why-do-you-have-to-go-to-work-1788573898/33030387</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280487</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 25 Jun 2023 22:00:26 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Listener Kelsey posted in the Your Parenting Mojo Facebook community a while ago asking how she should respond when her child asks: \"Why does Daddy have to go to work?\" She got some great answers from community members...and yet there was also a lot more to explore. I asked her to record her question so I could answer it in an episode, so here it is! 

Of course, the issue of Daddy going to work has intersections with patriarchy as well...and many Your Parenting Mojo listeners of both/all genders work and probably hear this question from their children, so I adjusted the title of the episode a little.

The episode looks at capitalism and how it impacts our families and other peoples\' families...and how we can start to have conversations about that with our children.

If you\'d like to ask a question for me to answer in a future Q&A episode, please email a link to a video of you asking the question to support@yourparentingmojo.com, or go to yourparentingmojo.com and look for the Record A Question button.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to
https://yourparentingmojo.com/Work

00:00 Listener Kelsey asks how to honestly but age-appropriately answer the question, \"Why does daddy have to go to work?\"
02:54 Carys shares her ideas on capitalism and work
14:10 Kelsey\'s child isn\'t necessarily questioning why Daddy has to work, but rather why Daddy 
isn\'t available to play
17:51 The cultural devaluation of certain types of work, the influence of capitalism, housing discrimination, and societal expectations contribute to financial burdens
23:32 Every time we\'re making a choice to buy something, that is a choice to spend more time working
24:00 The mindset plays a significant role in finding joy and value in any job
25:16 Job satisfaction, financial security, and the role of money in addressing challenges and enhancing safety are crucial in deciding on work
27:26 Money doesn’t guarantee safety
30:11 Undervalued care work, predominantly performed by women, is crucial for the capitalist system.
31:47 Building communities that meet each other\'s needs can provide more choices and reduce reliance on financial resources.
32:59 We can talk to our children about capitalism, explaining that work allows us to meet our needs and wants, while addressing the inequalities and challenges that some people face. 
35:14 Teaching children about capitalism and its objections fosters critical thinking about fairness, inequality, and alternative economic perspectives.
37:40 Teaching financial literacy to children should involve a critical examination of capitalist-focused programs
42:24 Wrapping up]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Listener Kelsey posted in the Your Parenting Mojo Facebook community a while ago asking how she should respond when her child asks: \"Why does Daddy have to go to work?\" She got some great answers from community members...and yet there was also a lot more to explore. I asked her to record her question so I could answer it in an episode, so here it is! 

Of course, the issue of Daddy going to work has intersections with patriarchy as well...and many Your Parenting Mojo listeners of both/all genders work and probably hear this question from their children, so I adjusted the title of the episode a little.

The episode looks at capitalism and how it impacts our families and other peoples\' families...and how we can start to have conversations about that with our children.

If you\'d like to ask a question for me to answer in a future Q&A episode, please email a link to a video of you asking the question to support@yourparentingmojo.com, or go to yourparentingmojo.com and look for the Record A Question button.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to
https://yourparentingmojo.com/Work

00:00 Listener Kelsey asks how to honestly but age-appropriately answer the question, \"Why does daddy have to go to work?\"
02:54 Carys shares her ideas on capitalism and work
14:10 Kelsey\'s child isn\'t necessarily questioning why Daddy has to work, but rather why Daddy 
isn\'t available to play
17:51 The cultural devaluation of certain types of work, the influence of capitalism, housing discrimination, and societal expectations contribute to financial burdens
23:32 Every time we\'re making a choice to buy something, that is a choice to spend more time working
24:00 The mindset plays a significant role in finding joy and value in any job
25:16 Job satisfaction, financial security, and the role of money in addressing challenges and enhancing safety are crucial in deciding on work
27:26 Money doesn’t guarantee safety
30:11 Undervalued care work, predominantly performed by women, is crucial for the capitalist system.
31:47 Building communities that meet each other\'s needs can provide more choices and reduce reliance on financial resources.
32:59 We can talk to our children about capitalism, explaining that work allows us to meet our needs and wants, while addressing the inequalities and challenges that some people face. 
35:14 Teaching children about capitalism and its objections fosters critical thinking about fairness, inequality, and alternative economic perspectives.
37:40 Teaching financial literacy to children should involve a critical examination of capitalist-focused programs
42:24 Wrapping up]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/078b187d98f349dc8d4de14869d8c005.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='42530000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2787</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030387/why-do-you-have-to-go-to-work.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030387/why-do-you-have-to-go-to-work.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to meet your needs with Mara Glatzel</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-meet-your-needs-with-mara-glatzel-1788573898/33030388</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280401</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sat, 10 Jun 2023 22:00:02 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[We talk a lot about meeting needs on the show. And mostly we focus on meeting your child\'s needs, because when those are met then your needs for peace and ease and collaboration with your child get met as well. 

But of course those are not your only needs. You also have needs independent of your relationship with your children, and you deserve to have these met. Mara Glatzel\'s new book focuses squarely on your needs. Why is it so hard to understand what our needs are? How can we figure out what our needs are...before they explode out of us in a meltdown? And how can we get these met on a regular basis?

This episode will show you how to do that.
Mara\'s book: Needy: How to advocate for your needs and claim your sovereignty - https://amzn.to/422uiVI (affiliate link)

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to
https://yourparentingmojo.com/Needy

Jump to highlights:
00:00 Introduction of the guest - Mara Glatzel
02:20 Mara shares the story at the beginning of her book where she tells her personal reflection when she felt learned the importance of asserting one\'s needs and the impact it has had on her life and relationship
06:13 Mara differentiates needs from wants
09:47 The societal pressure to maintain a perfect and productive facade may just lead to burnout and a denial of our own humanity
13:31 It is important to recognize and identify physical sensations, symptoms, and circumstances associated with burnout to prevent and reverse it
20:20 Setting boundaries with children allows parents to prioritize their own needs so they meet their children’s needs as well
24:49 Consistently pushing ourselves beyond our limits and striving for perfection sets us up for burnout.
29:31 Prioritizing our own needs and well-being - even if it means doing things differently from others - is essential for sustainable productivity and a fulfilling life.
34:37 It can be challenging to find the right balance between meeting our children\'s needs and taking care of our own, but by modeling self-care, setting boundaries, and teaching them how to communicate their needs effectively, we can find ways to support each other.
41:36 Balancing our commitment to creating positive change with prioritizing our own well-being is crucial, as our ability to make an impact is compromised if we neglect self-care.
47:34 If we\'re unable to deal with our own needs, we make our needs other people\'s problems - and this impacts our relationships.
50:55 Mara shares about finding joy in trying new activities and embracing the freedom of being a beginner while following personal interests.
54:46 Wrapping up]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[We talk a lot about meeting needs on the show. And mostly we focus on meeting your child\'s needs, because when those are met then your needs for peace and ease and collaboration with your child get met as well. 

But of course those are not your only needs. You also have needs independent of your relationship with your children, and you deserve to have these met. Mara Glatzel\'s new book focuses squarely on your needs. Why is it so hard to understand what our needs are? How can we figure out what our needs are...before they explode out of us in a meltdown? And how can we get these met on a regular basis?

This episode will show you how to do that.
Mara\'s book: Needy: How to advocate for your needs and claim your sovereignty - https://amzn.to/422uiVI (affiliate link)

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to
https://yourparentingmojo.com/Needy

Jump to highlights:
00:00 Introduction of the guest - Mara Glatzel
02:20 Mara shares the story at the beginning of her book where she tells her personal reflection when she felt learned the importance of asserting one\'s needs and the impact it has had on her life and relationship
06:13 Mara differentiates needs from wants
09:47 The societal pressure to maintain a perfect and productive facade may just lead to burnout and a denial of our own humanity
13:31 It is important to recognize and identify physical sensations, symptoms, and circumstances associated with burnout to prevent and reverse it
20:20 Setting boundaries with children allows parents to prioritize their own needs so they meet their children’s needs as well
24:49 Consistently pushing ourselves beyond our limits and striving for perfection sets us up for burnout.
29:31 Prioritizing our own needs and well-being - even if it means doing things differently from others - is essential for sustainable productivity and a fulfilling life.
34:37 It can be challenging to find the right balance between meeting our children\'s needs and taking care of our own, but by modeling self-care, setting boundaries, and teaching them how to communicate their needs effectively, we can find ways to support each other.
41:36 Balancing our commitment to creating positive change with prioritizing our own well-being is crucial, as our ability to make an impact is compromised if we neglect self-care.
47:34 If we\'re unable to deal with our own needs, we make our needs other people\'s problems - and this impacts our relationships.
50:55 Mara shares about finding joy in trying new activities and embracing the freedom of being a beginner while following personal interests.
54:46 Wrapping up]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/fdb98a474b583090102cb12782e5cdbb.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='53320000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3494</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030388/how-to-meet-your-needs-with-mara-glatzel.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030388/how-to-meet-your-needs-with-mara-glatzel.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to get on the same page as your co-parent</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-get-on-the-same-page-as-your-co-parent-1788573898/33030389</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280443</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 07 May 2023 22:00:10 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Do you sometimes wish your co-parent would join you on the respectful parenting journey you’re on?

Would things be easier if you were on the same page?

Does it seem like you try to convince them using all the research you’ve done respectful parenting…only to have them throw up the “I don’t think we have to make a big deal out of this” card?

Sarah and Declan had this dynamic in their relationship too.

Knowing each other well isn’t always enough
They met when they were 10 and have been together for 15 years, so they know each other pretty well. They had even talked about their values before they got married, and found alignment on many of them.

But Declan is a psychologist working with children and families, so he got the Big Veto. (It turns out that psychology training focuses on evidence-based strategies to change behavior…which isn’t that hard to do with rewards and punishments. I think a lot of psychologists show up in my programs because they realize that “evidence-based” doesn’t necessarily mean “good for us” or “aligned with my values”).

Sarah was struggling with the transition from two to three children, along with Declan’s full-time work, her own part-time work, and a major home renovation - they haven’t had a functional kitchen in two years.

Sarah knew she needed more support…but Declan wasn’t sure. Until he realized that when you’re on a team, you don’t tell an injured player to suck it up. You can’t tell the parent who is struggling to figure it out by themselves. We all have a role to play in a family that meets everyone’s needs.

A way to repair ruptures that meets both of their needs
This was most apparent when Sarah would say something critical, causing a temporary rupture…and then would desperately try to repair, wanting to talk it out then and there so she could reestablish connection with him, in a reenactment of her anxious attachment relationship with her mother.

Declan didn’t find that connecting at all…he saw that she was trying to make herself feel better, not to reconnect with him, and he would retreat - the exact opposite of what she was looking for from him.

On a group coaching call a few months ago we worked through an example of this dynamic - and found a way to help them reestablish connection that worked for both of them that has made a profound difference in their ability to navigate conflict. They discuss how it has worked for them in this new episode.

The Parenting Membership is now open for enrollment!
This isn\'t a course that you take once and forget, and things go back to the way they always were.

Whenever you get off-track, or when a new challenge pops up, we\'re here to support and guide you for as long as you\'re a member.

The membership information page has all the details on what you’ll get when you join - monthly modules of content, the not-on-Facebook community, monthly group coaching calls, weekly ACTion groups with five other members and a peer coach, occasional 1:1 coaching sessions with Jen. 

Learn more about the Parenting Membership. https://yourparentingmojo.com/parentingmembership/ Enrollment is open until Wednesday May 17!

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to
https://yourparentingmojo.com/SamePage

0:00 Introduction of this episode’s guests 
1:44 Basic information about Sarah and Declan’s family
2:27 Sarah’s childhood experiences and the intergenerational trauma that affected her family
7:25 Declan’s family dynamic which was not emotionally open or supportive
9:20 Declan talks about his experiences with his authoritarian father
10:30 What it was like being together for a long time and then becoming parents
11:21 What Sarah and Declan consider as the most important values they had as a family, as well as the effective parenting strategy that worked during their early years of parenthood
12:44 The challenges of transitioning to having older babies
15:19 Some challenging interactions with the kids
18:41 How Declan responds to Sarah’s emotional stress
21:20 How they approach certain situations and have learned from each other\'s feedback
22:06 Finding a balance between having a structured decision-making process and ensuring that each one is heard
23:14 How patriarchy shows up in their decision making
23:53 How their shared values allowed them to work together despite their differences
26:44 How Sarah managed to convince Declan to join the Parenting Membership
28:52 Declan appreciates the flexibility of Parenting Membership that allows members to choose their level of engagement with the content
31:12 How being part of the Parenting Membership differs from just listening to podcasts
32:47 How the community aspect of the Parenting Membership helps
38:58 How relationship patterns can impact difficult conversations between partners
40:38 How the Parenting Membership has made a huge difference in their parenting dynamics
50:31 How Sarah has changed to becoming less triggered]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Do you sometimes wish your co-parent would join you on the respectful parenting journey you’re on?

Would things be easier if you were on the same page?

Does it seem like you try to convince them using all the research you’ve done respectful parenting…only to have them throw up the “I don’t think we have to make a big deal out of this” card?

Sarah and Declan had this dynamic in their relationship too.

Knowing each other well isn’t always enough
They met when they were 10 and have been together for 15 years, so they know each other pretty well. They had even talked about their values before they got married, and found alignment on many of them.

But Declan is a psychologist working with children and families, so he got the Big Veto. (It turns out that psychology training focuses on evidence-based strategies to change behavior…which isn’t that hard to do with rewards and punishments. I think a lot of psychologists show up in my programs because they realize that “evidence-based” doesn’t necessarily mean “good for us” or “aligned with my values”).

Sarah was struggling with the transition from two to three children, along with Declan’s full-time work, her own part-time work, and a major home renovation - they haven’t had a functional kitchen in two years.

Sarah knew she needed more support…but Declan wasn’t sure. Until he realized that when you’re on a team, you don’t tell an injured player to suck it up. You can’t tell the parent who is struggling to figure it out by themselves. We all have a role to play in a family that meets everyone’s needs.

A way to repair ruptures that meets both of their needs
This was most apparent when Sarah would say something critical, causing a temporary rupture…and then would desperately try to repair, wanting to talk it out then and there so she could reestablish connection with him, in a reenactment of her anxious attachment relationship with her mother.

Declan didn’t find that connecting at all…he saw that she was trying to make herself feel better, not to reconnect with him, and he would retreat - the exact opposite of what she was looking for from him.

On a group coaching call a few months ago we worked through an example of this dynamic - and found a way to help them reestablish connection that worked for both of them that has made a profound difference in their ability to navigate conflict. They discuss how it has worked for them in this new episode.

The Parenting Membership is now open for enrollment!
This isn\'t a course that you take once and forget, and things go back to the way they always were.

Whenever you get off-track, or when a new challenge pops up, we\'re here to support and guide you for as long as you\'re a member.

The membership information page has all the details on what you’ll get when you join - monthly modules of content, the not-on-Facebook community, monthly group coaching calls, weekly ACTion groups with five other members and a peer coach, occasional 1:1 coaching sessions with Jen. 

Learn more about the Parenting Membership. https://yourparentingmojo.com/parentingmembership/ Enrollment is open until Wednesday May 17!

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to
https://yourparentingmojo.com/SamePage

0:00 Introduction of this episode’s guests 
1:44 Basic information about Sarah and Declan’s family
2:27 Sarah’s childhood experiences and the intergenerational trauma that affected her family
7:25 Declan’s family dynamic which was not emotionally open or supportive
9:20 Declan talks about his experiences with his authoritarian father
10:30 What it was like being together for a long time and then becoming parents
11:21 What Sarah and Declan consider as the most important values they had as a family, as well as the effective parenting strategy that worked during their early years of parenthood
12:44 The challenges of transitioning to having older babies
15:19 Some challenging interactions with the kids
18:41 How Declan responds to Sarah’s emotional stress
21:20 How they approach certain situations and have learned from each other\'s feedback
22:06 Finding a balance between having a structured decision-making process and ensuring that each one is heard
23:14 How patriarchy shows up in their decision making
23:53 How their shared values allowed them to work together despite their differences
26:44 How Sarah managed to convince Declan to join the Parenting Membership
28:52 Declan appreciates the flexibility of Parenting Membership that allows members to choose their level of engagement with the content
31:12 How being part of the Parenting Membership differs from just listening to podcasts
32:47 How the community aspect of the Parenting Membership helps
38:58 How relationship patterns can impact difficult conversations between partners
40:38 How the Parenting Membership has made a huge difference in their parenting dynamics
50:31 How Sarah has changed to becoming less triggered]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/6587f5725b3eff597a3d55a8ec17e2e9.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='57620000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3776</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030389/how-to-get-on-the-same-page-as-your-co-parent.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030389/how-to-get-on-the-same-page-as-your-co-parent.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >What I wish I\&apos;d known about parenting featuring YPM parents</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/what-i-wish-id-known-about-parenting-featuring-ypm-parents-1788573898/33030390</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280446</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 30 Apr 2023 22:00:11 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Recently, a number of parents in the Parenting Membership have posted in our community about challenges they\'ve faced that they\'ve navigated with grace that would have seemed insurmountable a couple of years ago. 

Many of these are parents of children who are already through the toddler stage, and the parents are starting to see the tools they\'ve been using come alive in their interactions with their children.

I thought: There\'s a podcast episode in that!

I asked parents to submit short videos to me responding to the question: What do you wish you had known about parenting when your children were young?

The resulting videos are collected, along with my commentary, in this week\'s episode.

The insights that these parents offer are profound. I don\'t want to give too much away, but let\'s just say that you\'re not going to hear advice about a must-have crib or wipe warmer or toy. 

This is advice about:
How we see ourselves
What is our role as parents to guide our children without shaping them
How we can be whole, fulfilled people ourselves when there\'s so much pressure on us to be a \'good parent\'

If you want to hear from parents who share your values and who have been in it for a while to know what\'s worth worrying about and what isn\'t, this episode is for you.

Catch the FREE 90 minute Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits masterclass on May 6!
Did you miss the full Setting Limits workshop that\'s underway now? No problem - I\'ve got you covered!

Join me for a FREE 90-minute masterclass on Saturday May 6, from 10-11:30am Pacific.

We\'ll give you all of the key tools you\'ll need to:
Set limits your child will respect
Set way fewer limits than you ever thought possible
Learn how to meet your needs AND your child\'s needs to create the warm, joyful, collaborative relationship you want to have with your children

We\'ll have a presentation, Q&A, live coaching of one lucky participant, and a valuable giveaway as well. The session will be recorded, but we\'ll only send the recording to people who register so do sign up even if you know you can\'t attend.

Click here to sign up - https://yourparentingmojo.com/settinglimitsmasterclass/

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/WhatIWishIdKnown

Jump to highlights:
0:00 Introduction of this episode’s topic
1:37 Jen admits that she didn\'t give much consideration to parenting before her daughter, Carys, was born
2:50 Jen shares how her journey into respectful parenting started through RIE
3:54 Parent Elizabeth reflects on her experience and shares what she wished she had known about parenting
5:49 The impact of unhealed trauma is reflected in the way we parent our children
6:41 How the arrival of a child can shift the balance in a relationship leading to conflict, even if both partners entered into the partnership as equals
8:19 The dynamics of patriarchal relationships
9:22 Parent Jenny reflects on her experience and shares what she wished she had known about parenting during the time she wasn\'t prioritizing her own need for sleep
11:40 How patriarchal power structures can play out within the context of parenting 
13:44 Our child expresses their unmet need by hitting
14:46 Parent Anne reflects on her visions about parenting and shares what she wished she had known about parenting
18:25 What is “Opportunity hoarding” among White parents
20:00 Parent Iris reflects on her parenting experience
23:03 Parent Iris realizes that buying things to solve parenting problems is not always the answer
25:24 Parent Anne shares what she wished she had known about her interactions with her mom, her husband, and her child
29:28 How the Taming Your Triggers workshop helped Anne on setting boundaries 
33:11 Parent Laura shares her son\'s potty problems and what she wished she had known about learning
37:36 Respectful and gentle parenting as a tool to build a good relationship with our child
38:22 Parent Lucinda reflects on her experience and shares what she wished she had known about parenting
41:09 How understanding one\'s own needs is crucial for being able to have authentic relationships with family and community
42:37 Parent Melissa reflects on her experience and shares what she wished she had known about parenting, especially on self-compassion and self-care
45:04 The benefits of being in an ACTion group in the Parenting Membership
46:27 Parent Benson reflects on his experience and shares what he wished he had known about parenting
48:03 Parent Amanda reflects on her experience and shares what she wished she had known about parenting
49:48 The importance of having a plan in parenting
51:16 Parent Elizabeth shares her realization that parenting is a continuous learning process
52:32 The importance of learning new skills to do things differently 
55:19 Invitation to join the Parenting Membership]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Recently, a number of parents in the Parenting Membership have posted in our community about challenges they\'ve faced that they\'ve navigated with grace that would have seemed insurmountable a couple of years ago. 

Many of these are parents of children who are already through the toddler stage, and the parents are starting to see the tools they\'ve been using come alive in their interactions with their children.

I thought: There\'s a podcast episode in that!

I asked parents to submit short videos to me responding to the question: What do you wish you had known about parenting when your children were young?

The resulting videos are collected, along with my commentary, in this week\'s episode.

The insights that these parents offer are profound. I don\'t want to give too much away, but let\'s just say that you\'re not going to hear advice about a must-have crib or wipe warmer or toy. 

This is advice about:
How we see ourselves
What is our role as parents to guide our children without shaping them
How we can be whole, fulfilled people ourselves when there\'s so much pressure on us to be a \'good parent\'

If you want to hear from parents who share your values and who have been in it for a while to know what\'s worth worrying about and what isn\'t, this episode is for you.

Catch the FREE 90 minute Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits masterclass on May 6!
Did you miss the full Setting Limits workshop that\'s underway now? No problem - I\'ve got you covered!

Join me for a FREE 90-minute masterclass on Saturday May 6, from 10-11:30am Pacific.

We\'ll give you all of the key tools you\'ll need to:
Set limits your child will respect
Set way fewer limits than you ever thought possible
Learn how to meet your needs AND your child\'s needs to create the warm, joyful, collaborative relationship you want to have with your children

We\'ll have a presentation, Q&A, live coaching of one lucky participant, and a valuable giveaway as well. The session will be recorded, but we\'ll only send the recording to people who register so do sign up even if you know you can\'t attend.

Click here to sign up - https://yourparentingmojo.com/settinglimitsmasterclass/

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/WhatIWishIdKnown

Jump to highlights:
0:00 Introduction of this episode’s topic
1:37 Jen admits that she didn\'t give much consideration to parenting before her daughter, Carys, was born
2:50 Jen shares how her journey into respectful parenting started through RIE
3:54 Parent Elizabeth reflects on her experience and shares what she wished she had known about parenting
5:49 The impact of unhealed trauma is reflected in the way we parent our children
6:41 How the arrival of a child can shift the balance in a relationship leading to conflict, even if both partners entered into the partnership as equals
8:19 The dynamics of patriarchal relationships
9:22 Parent Jenny reflects on her experience and shares what she wished she had known about parenting during the time she wasn\'t prioritizing her own need for sleep
11:40 How patriarchal power structures can play out within the context of parenting 
13:44 Our child expresses their unmet need by hitting
14:46 Parent Anne reflects on her visions about parenting and shares what she wished she had known about parenting
18:25 What is “Opportunity hoarding” among White parents
20:00 Parent Iris reflects on her parenting experience
23:03 Parent Iris realizes that buying things to solve parenting problems is not always the answer
25:24 Parent Anne shares what she wished she had known about her interactions with her mom, her husband, and her child
29:28 How the Taming Your Triggers workshop helped Anne on setting boundaries 
33:11 Parent Laura shares her son\'s potty problems and what she wished she had known about learning
37:36 Respectful and gentle parenting as a tool to build a good relationship with our child
38:22 Parent Lucinda reflects on her experience and shares what she wished she had known about parenting
41:09 How understanding one\'s own needs is crucial for being able to have authentic relationships with family and community
42:37 Parent Melissa reflects on her experience and shares what she wished she had known about parenting, especially on self-compassion and self-care
45:04 The benefits of being in an ACTion group in the Parenting Membership
46:27 Parent Benson reflects on his experience and shares what he wished he had known about parenting
48:03 Parent Amanda reflects on her experience and shares what she wished she had known about parenting
49:48 The importance of having a plan in parenting
51:16 Parent Elizabeth shares her realization that parenting is a continuous learning process
52:32 The importance of learning new skills to do things differently 
55:19 Invitation to join the Parenting Membership]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/b9cf6b9d4c3705e82c38ca213f8788ae.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='51030000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3344</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030390/what-i-wish-id-known-about-parenting-featuring-ypm-parents.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030390/what-i-wish-id-known-about-parenting-featuring-ypm-parents.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to get frustrating behavior to stop</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-get-frustrating-behavior-to-stop-1788573898/33030391</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280495</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 23 Apr 2023 22:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[All of our children go through phases when they do things we wish they wouldn’t do. 

Sometimes those things are relatively harmless but are pretty annoying, because they take extra time for us to clean up - things like eating (and making crumbs) in areas where we don’t want them to eat, shaving up a bar of soap, or piling up all the toys and refusing to help clean them up.

Other times it’s not so harmless. 

They might hit us.

Or hit a (smaller) sibling, for what seems like no reason.

We want to get that behavior to stop…but how?

In this episode we’ll meet a parent who’s struggling with the annoying behaviors…and we’ll hear directly from two parents who have found ways to navigate resistance and hitting, and these are no longer the problem they once were.

There is hope. 

We don’t have to keep walking on eggshells waiting for the next explosion, or worried about what our child is doing as soon as our back is turned.

FREE Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits masterclass: Saturday May 5, 10am Pacific
Did you miss the full 8-day Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop? Want to get all the good info…in just 90 minutes?

Come and join me for a FREE 90 minute masterclass on Saturday May 5 at 10am Pacific. I’ll walk you through the strategies you need to set limits effectively…but also to set way fewer of them than you ever thought possible (without your children ruling the roost!). 

We’ll have a presentation, Q&A, coaching of one lucky participant, and a valuable giveaway!

Click here to sign up - https://yourparentingmojo.com/settinglimitsmasterclass/

We’ll send out a recording to everyone who registers, so please register even if you know you can’t make it live (although you will have to attend live to get your questions answered, be coached, and potentially win the giveaway…).

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/Frustratingbehavior

Jump to highlights:
0:00 Introduction for today’s episode
0:55 A member of Jen\'s community is seeking advice on how to manage her child’s frustrating behavior
02:20 Jen shares her own experience with her husband\'s constant screen use during the pandemic lockdown
04:48 How Jen resolved her issues with her husband\'s frustrating behavior
05:54 Our child\'s irritating behavior is a fun and satisfying activity for them
07:00 One of the reasons why children engage in activities that they know are forbidden: Lack of Impulse control
08:42 Our children get stressed when we always tell them what they should and shouldn\'t do
10:00 Children can\'t stop doing their impulse behavior when they are in a dysregulated moment 
10:38 How setting fewer limits can help address our children\'s behavior
12:05 Parent Peju shares how she sets a limit on her child
14:46 Understanding the underlying issues of a child\'s behavior is critical for effective parenting
15:54 The importance of recognizing the need for autonomy in children 
17:50 Parent Fiona shares her struggles and how the community and the membership helped her resolve her problems
26:44 Parent Fiona’s non-cognitive shift as a result of seeing the issue from her son\'s perspective
28:19 Parent Stephanie, expresses how her connection with the ACTion group has been incredibly fulfilling for her. 
30:01 The importance of curiosity when we feel triggered 
33:39 The second reason why children engage in activities that they know are forbidden: They\'re doing it deliberately to get our attention
34:36 How our culture and capitalist system affect families and the way we parent
35:45 Why does our culture makes it difficult to ask for help in parenting
36:43 Invitation to Setting Limits Masterclass]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[All of our children go through phases when they do things we wish they wouldn’t do. 

Sometimes those things are relatively harmless but are pretty annoying, because they take extra time for us to clean up - things like eating (and making crumbs) in areas where we don’t want them to eat, shaving up a bar of soap, or piling up all the toys and refusing to help clean them up.

Other times it’s not so harmless. 

They might hit us.

Or hit a (smaller) sibling, for what seems like no reason.

We want to get that behavior to stop…but how?

In this episode we’ll meet a parent who’s struggling with the annoying behaviors…and we’ll hear directly from two parents who have found ways to navigate resistance and hitting, and these are no longer the problem they once were.

There is hope. 

We don’t have to keep walking on eggshells waiting for the next explosion, or worried about what our child is doing as soon as our back is turned.

FREE Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits masterclass: Saturday May 5, 10am Pacific
Did you miss the full 8-day Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop? Want to get all the good info…in just 90 minutes?

Come and join me for a FREE 90 minute masterclass on Saturday May 5 at 10am Pacific. I’ll walk you through the strategies you need to set limits effectively…but also to set way fewer of them than you ever thought possible (without your children ruling the roost!). 

We’ll have a presentation, Q&A, coaching of one lucky participant, and a valuable giveaway!

Click here to sign up - https://yourparentingmojo.com/settinglimitsmasterclass/

We’ll send out a recording to everyone who registers, so please register even if you know you can’t make it live (although you will have to attend live to get your questions answered, be coached, and potentially win the giveaway…).

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/Frustratingbehavior

Jump to highlights:
0:00 Introduction for today’s episode
0:55 A member of Jen\'s community is seeking advice on how to manage her child’s frustrating behavior
02:20 Jen shares her own experience with her husband\'s constant screen use during the pandemic lockdown
04:48 How Jen resolved her issues with her husband\'s frustrating behavior
05:54 Our child\'s irritating behavior is a fun and satisfying activity for them
07:00 One of the reasons why children engage in activities that they know are forbidden: Lack of Impulse control
08:42 Our children get stressed when we always tell them what they should and shouldn\'t do
10:00 Children can\'t stop doing their impulse behavior when they are in a dysregulated moment 
10:38 How setting fewer limits can help address our children\'s behavior
12:05 Parent Peju shares how she sets a limit on her child
14:46 Understanding the underlying issues of a child\'s behavior is critical for effective parenting
15:54 The importance of recognizing the need for autonomy in children 
17:50 Parent Fiona shares her struggles and how the community and the membership helped her resolve her problems
26:44 Parent Fiona’s non-cognitive shift as a result of seeing the issue from her son\'s perspective
28:19 Parent Stephanie, expresses how her connection with the ACTion group has been incredibly fulfilling for her. 
30:01 The importance of curiosity when we feel triggered 
33:39 The second reason why children engage in activities that they know are forbidden: They\'re doing it deliberately to get our attention
34:36 How our culture and capitalist system affect families and the way we parent
35:45 Why does our culture makes it difficult to ask for help in parenting
36:43 Invitation to Setting Limits Masterclass]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/d035f8289bc7671ac5092de59c509ba9.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='37550000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2460</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030391/how-to-get-frustrating-behavior-to-stop.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030391/how-to-get-frustrating-behavior-to-stop.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Why \&apos;giving choices\&apos; doesn\&apos;t work - and what to do instead</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/why-giving-choices-doesnt-work-and-what-to-do-instead-1788573898/33030392</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280425</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 09 Apr 2023 22:00:11 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[‘Giving choices’ is a hot tool in the respectful parenting world. In the scripts, it usually goes like this:

Child: “I want a snack!”
Parent: “OK! Would you like an apple or a banana?”
Child: “A banana, please!”
And the parent hands over the banana.
 
But when you actually try it in your own home, it usually looks more like this:
 
Your child:: “I want a snack!”
You: “OK! Would you like an apple or a banana?”
Your child: “I want cookies!”

WHY IS THAT?! Why does it never ‘work’ the way it’s supposed to? Why doesn’t our child follow the script?

There’s a simple and easy reason, and in this episode I break it down - and teach you the effective tool to use instead of giving choices.

Join us for the FREE Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop
Don’t forget - the FREE Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop is here! If you choose our self-directed FlexPath option, you can start right NOW, and get a new module as soon as you finish the previous one. 

Or if you want me to hold your hand every step of the way, the Guided Path option starts on Wednesday April 26.

There’s even an option to sign up for suuuuper cheap group coaching calls with me if you’d like to do that after you enroll.

Sign up: https://yourparentingmojo.com/settinglimits

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/GivingChoices

Jump to highlights:
0:00 Why parenting coaches recommend giving children choices as a way to get them to
cooperate
02:43 The effectiveness of using choices for our children
05:47 Reasons why giving choices makes us lose the possibility of meeting both of our needs
08:01 How using choices motivates children to do the things they wouldn’t want to do
09:00 Why choices teach children consequences
09:40 Benefits of using true empathy
10:26 Giving choices to negotiate how children will do a chore/task
11:55 The use of rewards to motivate children
13:28 Giving choices is a win-win situation
14:05 The choices parents give often do not meet the child’s needs
17:08 Distinguishing between needs and strategies
19:01 The importance of meeting both our and our children’s needs
20:34 Ben shares his struggles before joining the Setting Limits workshop
22:55 Ben shares how effective the tools he learned in the Setting Limits workshop
26:29 Deon shares her experience after joining the Setting Limits workshop
27:01 An open invitation to join the Setting Loving (&Effective!) Limits workshop]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[‘Giving choices’ is a hot tool in the respectful parenting world. In the scripts, it usually goes like this:

Child: “I want a snack!”
Parent: “OK! Would you like an apple or a banana?”
Child: “A banana, please!”
And the parent hands over the banana.
 
But when you actually try it in your own home, it usually looks more like this:
 
Your child:: “I want a snack!”
You: “OK! Would you like an apple or a banana?”
Your child: “I want cookies!”

WHY IS THAT?! Why does it never ‘work’ the way it’s supposed to? Why doesn’t our child follow the script?

There’s a simple and easy reason, and in this episode I break it down - and teach you the effective tool to use instead of giving choices.

Join us for the FREE Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop
Don’t forget - the FREE Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop is here! If you choose our self-directed FlexPath option, you can start right NOW, and get a new module as soon as you finish the previous one. 

Or if you want me to hold your hand every step of the way, the Guided Path option starts on Wednesday April 26.

There’s even an option to sign up for suuuuper cheap group coaching calls with me if you’d like to do that after you enroll.

Sign up: https://yourparentingmojo.com/settinglimits

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/GivingChoices

Jump to highlights:
0:00 Why parenting coaches recommend giving children choices as a way to get them to
cooperate
02:43 The effectiveness of using choices for our children
05:47 Reasons why giving choices makes us lose the possibility of meeting both of our needs
08:01 How using choices motivates children to do the things they wouldn’t want to do
09:00 Why choices teach children consequences
09:40 Benefits of using true empathy
10:26 Giving choices to negotiate how children will do a chore/task
11:55 The use of rewards to motivate children
13:28 Giving choices is a win-win situation
14:05 The choices parents give often do not meet the child’s needs
17:08 Distinguishing between needs and strategies
19:01 The importance of meeting both our and our children’s needs
20:34 Ben shares his struggles before joining the Setting Limits workshop
22:55 Ben shares how effective the tools he learned in the Setting Limits workshop
26:29 Deon shares her experience after joining the Setting Limits workshop
27:01 An open invitation to join the Setting Loving (&Effective!) Limits workshop]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/2ea059f101d6d091980c02703fa36e2b.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='25490000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >1670</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030392/why-giving-choices-doesnt-work-and-what-to-do-instead.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030392/why-giving-choices-doesnt-work-and-what-to-do-instead.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to get your children to stop fighting</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-get-your-children-to-stop-fighting-1788573898/33030393</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280440</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 26 Mar 2023 22:00:18 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[If there’s one topic that never fails to rile parents up, it’s sibling fighting.

Why does it affect us so much? (There are two main reasons.)

Why is this happening, and what can we do about it? There are two main reasons, and one strategy to use with each reason. 

That’s it!

There are NOT an infinite number of reasons why this is happening, or an infinite number of things to try to get it to stop.

This episode will help you to identify the cause of the fighting, and how to make it stop.

FREE Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop starts as soon as Monday April 3rd!
Sometimes our children do things we find really difficult, like:

Taking FOREVER to get out of the house, even when you’re on your way to something they WANT to do
Scream or run away when we ask them to do something reasonable like take a nap, get in the car, or take a bath
Provoke each other and then scream, so it’s hard to know who did what to whom

Can’t they just stop it? 

Well, yes, they can!

In the FREE Setting Loving (& Effective!) limits workshop, you’ll learn why your child is doing these things you find so annoying, and how to get them to stop doing it. For real! In just eight days (or less)!

Sound too good to be true? It isn’t. Check out what parents have said about the workshop and sign up: https://yourparentingmojo.com/setting...

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/stopfighting]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[If there’s one topic that never fails to rile parents up, it’s sibling fighting.

Why does it affect us so much? (There are two main reasons.)

Why is this happening, and what can we do about it? There are two main reasons, and one strategy to use with each reason. 

That’s it!

There are NOT an infinite number of reasons why this is happening, or an infinite number of things to try to get it to stop.

This episode will help you to identify the cause of the fighting, and how to make it stop.

FREE Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop starts as soon as Monday April 3rd!
Sometimes our children do things we find really difficult, like:

Taking FOREVER to get out of the house, even when you’re on your way to something they WANT to do
Scream or run away when we ask them to do something reasonable like take a nap, get in the car, or take a bath
Provoke each other and then scream, so it’s hard to know who did what to whom

Can’t they just stop it? 

Well, yes, they can!

In the FREE Setting Loving (& Effective!) limits workshop, you’ll learn why your child is doing these things you find so annoying, and how to get them to stop doing it. For real! In just eight days (or less)!

Sound too good to be true? It isn’t. Check out what parents have said about the workshop and sign up: https://yourparentingmojo.com/setting...

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/stopfighting]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/a73a2d398c32b9a93659ebf7b88f68c9.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='37110000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2578</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030393/how-to-get-your-children-to-stop-fighting.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030393/how-to-get-your-children-to-stop-fighting.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Q&amp;A #2 How to help children who are \&apos;falling behind\&apos; - without using milestones</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/qa-2-how-to-help-children-who-are-falling-behind-without-using-milestones-1788573898/33030394</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280460</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 19 Mar 2023 22:00:05 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[This Q&A episode comes from a special education preschool teacher had listened to the Why We Shouldn’t Read The Your X-Year-Old Child books anymore, and wondered: 

If we don’t use these kinds of ‘milestones’ as guidelines for our children’s behavior, how will we identify children who need extra help? And what kind of help will we give them?

My first thought was: There’s no way I’m touching that question, because I don’t have the relevant qualifications and I’ll get torn apart.

I’ve been in some groups for Autistic parents for several months now, and one thing that’s abundantly clear is that qualified professionals use ‘treatments’ for Autistic children that these now-grown up people describe as abuse (and believe me; I don’t use that word lightly. It’s a direct quote from many different people).

So if the qualified professionals are using methods that the people who have experienced them call abusive, I think I have a responsibility to at least offer thoughts for parents to consider as they’re navigating the process of diagnosis and treatment.

Too often, parents are pushed to take their child directly from diagnosis to treatment, as if we’re missing some critical window of opportunity. But what if no treatment was sometimes the best option?

I don’t consider this episode to be The Final Word on What Parents Should Do. It’s more of a conversation starter…a way to raise some ideas that parents might not hear from the doctors who are pushing them toward treatment as fast as possible.

Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop is coming soon!
Are there times when your child doesn’t listen?

Do they stall, ignore you, refuse to do the things you ask…and then look you right in the eye while doing the thing you asked them NOT to do?

Do you feel disrespected when your child does these things - but have no idea what to do about it because the one thing you KNOW is that you don’t want to treat your child the same way your parents treated you?

If so, the free Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop will help.

It’s newly expanded to eight days, to give you more time and support in using the new tools.

In the workshop, you’ll learn:

Why you’re setting too many limits right now (and the effect that has on your child)
How to set effective limits that your child will respect
The #1 strategy get on the same team as your child, so you’re working together instead of against each other
How to decide when a limit is needed, then set and hold it with complete confidence
The three best tools to get you out of those “I really don’t want to die on this hill” situations where it seems like you can’t back down
How to have a great relationship with your child - without being a permissive parent
The repeatable four-step process that will help you to meet both of your needs in ANY difficult situation that comes up

After just eight days, you’ll be on a path to:
Dramatically reducing your child’s most challenging behaviors to make life infinitely easier
Having a peaceful, collaborative relationship with your child, which creates time for the fun parts of parenting
Helping your child to develop skills they’ll use to solve problems with siblings and peers - so you don’t have to be the referee anymore!

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/fallingbehind]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[This Q&A episode comes from a special education preschool teacher had listened to the Why We Shouldn’t Read The Your X-Year-Old Child books anymore, and wondered: 

If we don’t use these kinds of ‘milestones’ as guidelines for our children’s behavior, how will we identify children who need extra help? And what kind of help will we give them?

My first thought was: There’s no way I’m touching that question, because I don’t have the relevant qualifications and I’ll get torn apart.

I’ve been in some groups for Autistic parents for several months now, and one thing that’s abundantly clear is that qualified professionals use ‘treatments’ for Autistic children that these now-grown up people describe as abuse (and believe me; I don’t use that word lightly. It’s a direct quote from many different people).

So if the qualified professionals are using methods that the people who have experienced them call abusive, I think I have a responsibility to at least offer thoughts for parents to consider as they’re navigating the process of diagnosis and treatment.

Too often, parents are pushed to take their child directly from diagnosis to treatment, as if we’re missing some critical window of opportunity. But what if no treatment was sometimes the best option?

I don’t consider this episode to be The Final Word on What Parents Should Do. It’s more of a conversation starter…a way to raise some ideas that parents might not hear from the doctors who are pushing them toward treatment as fast as possible.

Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop is coming soon!
Are there times when your child doesn’t listen?

Do they stall, ignore you, refuse to do the things you ask…and then look you right in the eye while doing the thing you asked them NOT to do?

Do you feel disrespected when your child does these things - but have no idea what to do about it because the one thing you KNOW is that you don’t want to treat your child the same way your parents treated you?

If so, the free Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop will help.

It’s newly expanded to eight days, to give you more time and support in using the new tools.

In the workshop, you’ll learn:

Why you’re setting too many limits right now (and the effect that has on your child)
How to set effective limits that your child will respect
The #1 strategy get on the same team as your child, so you’re working together instead of against each other
How to decide when a limit is needed, then set and hold it with complete confidence
The three best tools to get you out of those “I really don’t want to die on this hill” situations where it seems like you can’t back down
How to have a great relationship with your child - without being a permissive parent
The repeatable four-step process that will help you to meet both of your needs in ANY difficult situation that comes up

After just eight days, you’ll be on a path to:
Dramatically reducing your child’s most challenging behaviors to make life infinitely easier
Having a peaceful, collaborative relationship with your child, which creates time for the fun parts of parenting
Helping your child to develop skills they’ll use to solve problems with siblings and peers - so you don’t have to be the referee anymore!

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/fallingbehind]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/81858728d32219c182b540c6833b65e7.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='30080000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >1971</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030394/qa-2-how-to-help-children-who-are-falling-behind-without-using-milestones.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030394/qa-2-how-to-help-children-who-are-falling-behind-without-using-milestones.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >I Never Thought of It That Way with Monica Guzman and Lulu</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/i-never-thought-of-it-that-way-with-monica-guzman-and-lulu-1788573898/33030395</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280456</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 05 Mar 2023 22:00:08 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[If you\'re anything like me, navigating conflict comes pretty easily to you. You always know what to say to make your point in a tone that\'s firm but still inviting, right? You listen for the purpose of understanding the other person and don\'t just use the time while the other person is speaking to form your own rebuttal? You never get overwhelmed, and maintain your own sense of boundaries even when the discussion argument gets really heated?

(Yeah, me either, really...)

A few months ago I put out a request for folks who disagree with me on a social issue to let me know if they would be willing to come and discuss the topic with me on a podcast episode. 

I had just read Mónica Guzmán\'s book I Never Thought Of It That way, which concludes with an invitation to practice the tools she teaches about navigating conflict more effectively, and I thought: \"Well, let\'s do it!\" Mónica agreed to moderate a conversation and I put out a call for folks to participate...

...and let\'s just say that the silence was deafening.

(And I was kind of disappointed. I mean, you all are a pretty opinionated bunch, right? And I KNOW some of you disagree with me about some things...)

The one person who responded was parent Lulu, who wrote: 

\"I do admit that I disagree with your recent focus on white privilege and how it seems to make its way into almost every episode. Yes, it’s something to be aware of, but I don’t want that awareness to drive many of my and my kids\' decisions and conversations.\"

Of course my first thought was \"Well, you\'re wrong,\" but when I responded: \"Tell me more!\" she added that she sees topics like school, behavior, nutrition, empathy, and other factors as all more important than discussing White privilege on a regular basis.

\"Super,\" I said. \"Let\'s talk.\" 

So we each prepared for the conversation using a framework described in Mónica\'s book, and as we were talking Mónica pointed out what we were doing well (and shockingly few things we weren\'t doing well) to build our mutual understanding.

I think it\'s safe to say we both got more out of it than we had anticipated. We recorded it several weeks ago and I also recorded a postscript with some thoughts on the conversation as well as how we might apply the ideas we used in less structured situations we find ourselves in on a regular basis.

This episode will help you to understand people who are important to you even when they have ideas that are very different from yours, and find common ground so you can work, play, and be together.

Mónica Guzmán\'s book I Never Thought Of It That Way - https://amzn.to/3Sn5wMV (Affiliate link)

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/INeverThoughtOfItThatWay]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[If you\'re anything like me, navigating conflict comes pretty easily to you. You always know what to say to make your point in a tone that\'s firm but still inviting, right? You listen for the purpose of understanding the other person and don\'t just use the time while the other person is speaking to form your own rebuttal? You never get overwhelmed, and maintain your own sense of boundaries even when the discussion argument gets really heated?

(Yeah, me either, really...)

A few months ago I put out a request for folks who disagree with me on a social issue to let me know if they would be willing to come and discuss the topic with me on a podcast episode. 

I had just read Mónica Guzmán\'s book I Never Thought Of It That way, which concludes with an invitation to practice the tools she teaches about navigating conflict more effectively, and I thought: \"Well, let\'s do it!\" Mónica agreed to moderate a conversation and I put out a call for folks to participate...

...and let\'s just say that the silence was deafening.

(And I was kind of disappointed. I mean, you all are a pretty opinionated bunch, right? And I KNOW some of you disagree with me about some things...)

The one person who responded was parent Lulu, who wrote: 

\"I do admit that I disagree with your recent focus on white privilege and how it seems to make its way into almost every episode. Yes, it’s something to be aware of, but I don’t want that awareness to drive many of my and my kids\' decisions and conversations.\"

Of course my first thought was \"Well, you\'re wrong,\" but when I responded: \"Tell me more!\" she added that she sees topics like school, behavior, nutrition, empathy, and other factors as all more important than discussing White privilege on a regular basis.

\"Super,\" I said. \"Let\'s talk.\" 

So we each prepared for the conversation using a framework described in Mónica\'s book, and as we were talking Mónica pointed out what we were doing well (and shockingly few things we weren\'t doing well) to build our mutual understanding.

I think it\'s safe to say we both got more out of it than we had anticipated. We recorded it several weeks ago and I also recorded a postscript with some thoughts on the conversation as well as how we might apply the ideas we used in less structured situations we find ourselves in on a regular basis.

This episode will help you to understand people who are important to you even when they have ideas that are very different from yours, and find common ground so you can work, play, and be together.

Mónica Guzmán\'s book I Never Thought Of It That Way - https://amzn.to/3Sn5wMV (Affiliate link)

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/INeverThoughtOfItThatWay]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/ca19c680a2a7d09492a2e0d501f5adc8.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='64660000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >4237</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030395/i-never-thought-of-it-that-way-with-monica-guzman-and-lulu.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030395/i-never-thought-of-it-that-way-with-monica-guzman-and-lulu.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to heal your inner critic</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-heal-your-inner-critic-1788573898/33030396</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280470</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 19 Feb 2023 22:00:26 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Do you ever have that voice in your head that tells you things like: \"You shouldn\'t have laid in bed for so long; you should have got up earlier to get ready for the day\"?

Or how about: \"You shouldn\'t let your kids watch TV; good mothers don\'t let their kids watch TV\"?

Or: \"If I was any good at this parenting thing, my kids wouldn\'t fight with each other\"?

If you do, have you noticed that sometimes that voice comes out when you talk to your children, in that exasperated, shaming voice: \"Why would you do that?\"

If you have, you\'re not alone.

My guest for this episode is parent Katie, who is a therapist with a Master\'s in Counseling.
She\'s specifically trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which is a method of changing people\'s behavior - essentially by teaching them to ignore their body\'s signals of fear and anxiety.

Despite knowing everything there is to know about how to change a person\'s behavior, Katie still struggled as she transitioned from two to three children, and was suddenly dealing with massive sleep deprivation, the oldest child biting the middle child, and a whole lot of yelling (both from the children and from her). 

 
She got to the point where she realized: \"I can\'t keep doing this. We can\'t keep functioning in this way. And I wish I didn\'t react so strongly but I don\'t know what else to do.\"

Katie shares some massive transitions she\'s made over the last year, including:
-Realizing her body\'s surprising signal that she\'s feeling overwhelmed in a situation
-Her transition from constantly snapping at her children to being patient and THEN snapping to being able to change course even in the middle of a difficult interaction
-Ways that she gets frustration out before it erupts over her children (which models healthy coping habits for them, too!)
-A non-cognitive shift (based in her body, not just in her brain)around seeing the systems we live in as an important reason why things are so hard for parents, which means it isn\'t her fault things are hard
-How seeing her needs in a new way helped her to heal her inner critic - which is still there, but has much less power over her now than it used to

Our inner critics don\'t appear out of nowhere; they\'re formed out of the voices of our parents and other people who are important to us. Katie told me after we turned off the recording that her parents - who were good, loving parents - wanted to make Katie\'s life as easy as possible - which often meant presenting a sanitized view of her hair, her clothing, and her sexuality to the outside world.

If you do what\'s expected, other people won\'t make your life harder - but those \'criticisms\' have now become her own internalized voice, making it harder for her to show up as her real, authentic self.

Her oldest son has food allergies but Katie feels guilty asking for accommodations for him that other people might think are \'too much.\' Standing up for her son\'s needs has taught her how to stand up for her own needs - now she knows she wants to be part of creating a society that sees and meets everyone\'s needs, rather than forcing the outliers to fit into a traditional mold.

This episode is a must-listen for parents who are having a hard time and who think it\'s their fault.

It isn\'t your fault.

Taming Your Triggers is now open for enrollment
If you need help with your own big feelings about your child\'s behavior, Taming Your Triggers enrollment is open right now until Wednesday March 1. 

We\'ll help you to:
-Understand the real causes of your triggered feelings, and begin to heal the hurts that cause them
-Use new tools like the ones Katie describes to find ways to meet both her and her children\'s needs
-Effectively repair with your children on the fewer instances when you are still triggered
-It\'s a 10-week workshop with one module delivered every week, an amazing community of like-minded parents, a match with an AccountaBuddy to help you complete the workshop, and (brand new!) mini-mindfulness practices to re-ground yourself repeatedly during your days, so you\'re less reactive and more able to collaborate with your children.

L earn more about Taming Your Triggers and sign up:
 https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/InnerCritic]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Do you ever have that voice in your head that tells you things like: \"You shouldn\'t have laid in bed for so long; you should have got up earlier to get ready for the day\"?

Or how about: \"You shouldn\'t let your kids watch TV; good mothers don\'t let their kids watch TV\"?

Or: \"If I was any good at this parenting thing, my kids wouldn\'t fight with each other\"?

If you do, have you noticed that sometimes that voice comes out when you talk to your children, in that exasperated, shaming voice: \"Why would you do that?\"

If you have, you\'re not alone.

My guest for this episode is parent Katie, who is a therapist with a Master\'s in Counseling.
She\'s specifically trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which is a method of changing people\'s behavior - essentially by teaching them to ignore their body\'s signals of fear and anxiety.

Despite knowing everything there is to know about how to change a person\'s behavior, Katie still struggled as she transitioned from two to three children, and was suddenly dealing with massive sleep deprivation, the oldest child biting the middle child, and a whole lot of yelling (both from the children and from her). 

 
She got to the point where she realized: \"I can\'t keep doing this. We can\'t keep functioning in this way. And I wish I didn\'t react so strongly but I don\'t know what else to do.\"

Katie shares some massive transitions she\'s made over the last year, including:
-Realizing her body\'s surprising signal that she\'s feeling overwhelmed in a situation
-Her transition from constantly snapping at her children to being patient and THEN snapping to being able to change course even in the middle of a difficult interaction
-Ways that she gets frustration out before it erupts over her children (which models healthy coping habits for them, too!)
-A non-cognitive shift (based in her body, not just in her brain)around seeing the systems we live in as an important reason why things are so hard for parents, which means it isn\'t her fault things are hard
-How seeing her needs in a new way helped her to heal her inner critic - which is still there, but has much less power over her now than it used to

Our inner critics don\'t appear out of nowhere; they\'re formed out of the voices of our parents and other people who are important to us. Katie told me after we turned off the recording that her parents - who were good, loving parents - wanted to make Katie\'s life as easy as possible - which often meant presenting a sanitized view of her hair, her clothing, and her sexuality to the outside world.

If you do what\'s expected, other people won\'t make your life harder - but those \'criticisms\' have now become her own internalized voice, making it harder for her to show up as her real, authentic self.

Her oldest son has food allergies but Katie feels guilty asking for accommodations for him that other people might think are \'too much.\' Standing up for her son\'s needs has taught her how to stand up for her own needs - now she knows she wants to be part of creating a society that sees and meets everyone\'s needs, rather than forcing the outliers to fit into a traditional mold.

This episode is a must-listen for parents who are having a hard time and who think it\'s their fault.

It isn\'t your fault.

Taming Your Triggers is now open for enrollment
If you need help with your own big feelings about your child\'s behavior, Taming Your Triggers enrollment is open right now until Wednesday March 1. 

We\'ll help you to:
-Understand the real causes of your triggered feelings, and begin to heal the hurts that cause them
-Use new tools like the ones Katie describes to find ways to meet both her and her children\'s needs
-Effectively repair with your children on the fewer instances when you are still triggered
-It\'s a 10-week workshop with one module delivered every week, an amazing community of like-minded parents, a match with an AccountaBuddy to help you complete the workshop, and (brand new!) mini-mindfulness practices to re-ground yourself repeatedly during your days, so you\'re less reactive and more able to collaborate with your children.

L earn more about Taming Your Triggers and sign up:
 https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/InnerCritic]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/19921a76802d89207ad755413b4cf400.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='51880000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3399</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030396/how-to-heal-your-inner-critic.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030396/how-to-heal-your-inner-critic.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Three ways to be a good parent, even on bad days</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/three-ways-to-be-a-good-parent-even-on-bad-days-1788573898/33030397</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280448</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 05 Feb 2023 22:00:11 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[\"I\'m doing the best I can with my child but some days are just really hard - and at the end of them I feel like a terrible parent. I\'m getting really good at apologizing to my child but I\'m worried that I\'m doing some damage by going through so many of these cycles where I explode and then say sorry. How can I get through these days?\"

In this episode I take a look at the main reasons why we have these hard days - from our child\'s temperament to our temperament to attachment relationships, trauma, and neurodivergences - all of these intersect especially tightly on the hard days.

Then we look at three ways to get through these days with a little more grace - and maybe even without having to apologize to your child at the end of it.

Taming Your Triggers will be back very soon
We\'re getting everything ready to welcome a new cohort of parents into the Taming Your Triggers workshop - in just a few days we\'ll email out a coupon code to everyone who is already on the waitlist! If you\'d like to make sure to get yours, just click the button below to sign up, and we\'ll send it over soon. Enrollment begins on Sunday February 19 and runs until Wednesday March 1. We\'ll all start together on Monday March 6.

This time around, in addition to the core content, we\'ll have the option for you to match with one or two AccountaBuddies to hold you (gently!) accountable to finish the workshop, a roadmap and flow chart so you can see how the pieces all fit together, and some brand new, super short audio recordings to help you \'come back to center\' throughout the day. 

The entire experience is designed to help you not just learn new ideas, but to really take them on and use them in your everyday life.

If you already know you want in for this, just click the image below and sign up for the waitlist. We\'ll email you as soon as enrollment is open, with a coupon code as well. 
Learn more here  https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/BadDays]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[\"I\'m doing the best I can with my child but some days are just really hard - and at the end of them I feel like a terrible parent. I\'m getting really good at apologizing to my child but I\'m worried that I\'m doing some damage by going through so many of these cycles where I explode and then say sorry. How can I get through these days?\"

In this episode I take a look at the main reasons why we have these hard days - from our child\'s temperament to our temperament to attachment relationships, trauma, and neurodivergences - all of these intersect especially tightly on the hard days.

Then we look at three ways to get through these days with a little more grace - and maybe even without having to apologize to your child at the end of it.

Taming Your Triggers will be back very soon
We\'re getting everything ready to welcome a new cohort of parents into the Taming Your Triggers workshop - in just a few days we\'ll email out a coupon code to everyone who is already on the waitlist! If you\'d like to make sure to get yours, just click the button below to sign up, and we\'ll send it over soon. Enrollment begins on Sunday February 19 and runs until Wednesday March 1. We\'ll all start together on Monday March 6.

This time around, in addition to the core content, we\'ll have the option for you to match with one or two AccountaBuddies to hold you (gently!) accountable to finish the workshop, a roadmap and flow chart so you can see how the pieces all fit together, and some brand new, super short audio recordings to help you \'come back to center\' throughout the day. 

The entire experience is designed to help you not just learn new ideas, but to really take them on and use them in your everyday life.

If you already know you want in for this, just click the image below and sign up for the waitlist. We\'ll email you as soon as enrollment is open, with a coupon code as well. 
Learn more here  https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/BadDays]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/f2d15b077c6d2c0c5779317aa260d38c.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='34950000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2290</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030397/three-ways-to-be-a-good-parent-even-on-bad-days.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030397/three-ways-to-be-a-good-parent-even-on-bad-days.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to begin healing shame with A.J. Bond</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-begin-healing-shame-with-aj-bond-1788573898/33030398</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280397</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 29 Jan 2023 22:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Do you ever feel ashamed? Many people find it among their most physical emotions, resulting in a big knot of tension or a hot flush that washes over their whole body. But what is shame, and where does it come from?

I recently read a LOT of academic papers and books, and also popular books about shame, and the most helpful resource I found among all of the ones I read was written by my guest today, A.J. Bond. A.J. is a wrier and a filmmaker who experienced a shame-related breakthrough in his own therapy several years ago, and who subsequently became certified as a Healing Shame Practitioner through the Center for Healing Shame in Berkeley. 

We discuss, among other things:
The origins of shame all the way back in our childhoods
What kinds of shame really are helpful in our lives
How to heal from toxic shame so we don\'t pass it on to our own children

AJ\'s book: Discomfortable: What is shame and how can we break its hold? https://amzn.to/3V9PSV5 (Affiliate link)

Taming Your Triggers is back soon!
As you\'re listening to this episode you may well hear the connections between the things you feel ashamed of and your triggered responses to your child\'s behavior. That\'s not a coincidence! When we were little we used to advocate for our needs as well (which is what our child is doing), and we were shamed by our parents or caregivers for doing it. And now when our child does that same thing, all those old shame reactions - which had seemed like they were under control! - come raging right back up to the surface.

Want to go beyond keeping a lid on your triggers to actually healing, and learning new tools to parent in line with your values even in the difficult moments? Taming Your Triggers will help! Learn more here  https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/Discomfortable]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Do you ever feel ashamed? Many people find it among their most physical emotions, resulting in a big knot of tension or a hot flush that washes over their whole body. But what is shame, and where does it come from?

I recently read a LOT of academic papers and books, and also popular books about shame, and the most helpful resource I found among all of the ones I read was written by my guest today, A.J. Bond. A.J. is a wrier and a filmmaker who experienced a shame-related breakthrough in his own therapy several years ago, and who subsequently became certified as a Healing Shame Practitioner through the Center for Healing Shame in Berkeley. 

We discuss, among other things:
The origins of shame all the way back in our childhoods
What kinds of shame really are helpful in our lives
How to heal from toxic shame so we don\'t pass it on to our own children

AJ\'s book: Discomfortable: What is shame and how can we break its hold? https://amzn.to/3V9PSV5 (Affiliate link)

Taming Your Triggers is back soon!
As you\'re listening to this episode you may well hear the connections between the things you feel ashamed of and your triggered responses to your child\'s behavior. That\'s not a coincidence! When we were little we used to advocate for our needs as well (which is what our child is doing), and we were shamed by our parents or caregivers for doing it. And now when our child does that same thing, all those old shame reactions - which had seemed like they were under control! - come raging right back up to the surface.

Want to go beyond keeping a lid on your triggers to actually healing, and learning new tools to parent in line with your values even in the difficult moments? Taming Your Triggers will help! Learn more here  https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/Discomfortable]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/a7b5f670cb30a7978eb0ff69c83ad724.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='58310000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3821</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030398/how-to-begin-healing-shame-with-aj-bond.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030398/how-to-begin-healing-shame-with-aj-bond.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Q&amp;A #1: Should I let my child hit me, or a pillow? (&amp; Anti-Racist Panel Recruitment)</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/qa-1-should-i-let-my-child-hit-me-or-a-pillow-anti-racist-panel-recruitment-1788573898/33030399</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280518</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 22 Jan 2023 22:00:06 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[This episode kicks off a series of new episodes that I\'m very excited about, which is based on listeners\' questions. My goal is to produce shorter episodes that cut across the research base to help you answer the questions that are on your mind about your child\'s behavior and development.

Our first question comes from Dee in New Zealand, who wants to know: should she should do what her preschooler is asking and buy a pair of inflatable boxing gloves so he can hit her when he\'s feeling angry. Or would hitting a pillow be a better option?

If you\'d like to submit your own question, you can record a video of yourself asking it in two minutes or less, upload it to a platform like Drive or Dropbox, and send a link to it at support@yourparentingmojo.com. Alternatively you can go to the homepage and click the button to record your question for an audio-only option.

Other episodes referenced in this episode:
Episode 159, Supporting girls\' relationships with Dr. Marnina Gonick

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/Hitting]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[This episode kicks off a series of new episodes that I\'m very excited about, which is based on listeners\' questions. My goal is to produce shorter episodes that cut across the research base to help you answer the questions that are on your mind about your child\'s behavior and development.

Our first question comes from Dee in New Zealand, who wants to know: should she should do what her preschooler is asking and buy a pair of inflatable boxing gloves so he can hit her when he\'s feeling angry. Or would hitting a pillow be a better option?

If you\'d like to submit your own question, you can record a video of yourself asking it in two minutes or less, upload it to a platform like Drive or Dropbox, and send a link to it at support@yourparentingmojo.com. Alternatively you can go to the homepage and click the button to record your question for an audio-only option.

Other episodes referenced in this episode:
Episode 159, Supporting girls\' relationships with Dr. Marnina Gonick

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/Hitting]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/b17abaff228b042c2a42d2477bc10774.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='23190000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >1519</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030399/qa-1-should-i-let-my-child-hit-me-or-a-pillow-anti-racist-panel-recruitment.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030399/qa-1-should-i-let-my-child-hit-me-or-a-pillow-anti-racist-panel-recruitment.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >I\&apos;ll be me; can you be you?</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/ill-be-me-can-you-be-you-1788573898/33030400</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280513</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 08 Jan 2023 22:00:18 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[In this most personal episode I\'ve ever created, I\'ll share with you how my autism self-diagnosis has helped me to understand the experiences I\'ve had in ways that bring a great deal more clarity and insight than I\'ve had up to now. 

In addition to hearing from me, you\'ll hear the actual voicemail the therapist who has been helping me left to explain the results of my autism screeners, as well as conversations with friends about things that are hard in our friendships.

You\'ll hear from listeners who find things I do on podcast episodes to be hurtful and judgmental and also relatable and approachable, and sometimes it\'s the same things I do that prompts both the \'positive\' and \'negative\' reactions. 

And you\'ll hear from a listener in my membership community who has been on a similar journey to understand how her ADHD diagnosis wasn\'t really about her as much as it was about her reactions to the ways her family interacted with her - they encouraged creativity and expression in her artwork, but never never never ever related to emotional expression.

My goal with this episode is to help you draw together threads in your own life in a way that maybe you haven\'t been able to do until now so you can understand yourself better, and make requests to help you meet your needs, and maybe change the situations you\'re in so you can be in them with more ease and authenticity.

And I also hope it helps you to see how your child\'s struggles are a reflection of their needs, and of whether those needs are being met. Just as you didn\'t need fixing when you were a child (and neither did I, despite all the people who tried to fix me), your child doesn\'t need fixing either. Instead, we can use the struggles to better understand our needs and our child\'s needs, and work toward meeting them both. 

To investigate screeners that Dr. A. has available for free on her website, visit https://spectrumservicesnyc.com/resources/

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/Me]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[In this most personal episode I\'ve ever created, I\'ll share with you how my autism self-diagnosis has helped me to understand the experiences I\'ve had in ways that bring a great deal more clarity and insight than I\'ve had up to now. 

In addition to hearing from me, you\'ll hear the actual voicemail the therapist who has been helping me left to explain the results of my autism screeners, as well as conversations with friends about things that are hard in our friendships.

You\'ll hear from listeners who find things I do on podcast episodes to be hurtful and judgmental and also relatable and approachable, and sometimes it\'s the same things I do that prompts both the \'positive\' and \'negative\' reactions. 

And you\'ll hear from a listener in my membership community who has been on a similar journey to understand how her ADHD diagnosis wasn\'t really about her as much as it was about her reactions to the ways her family interacted with her - they encouraged creativity and expression in her artwork, but never never never ever related to emotional expression.

My goal with this episode is to help you draw together threads in your own life in a way that maybe you haven\'t been able to do until now so you can understand yourself better, and make requests to help you meet your needs, and maybe change the situations you\'re in so you can be in them with more ease and authenticity.

And I also hope it helps you to see how your child\'s struggles are a reflection of their needs, and of whether those needs are being met. Just as you didn\'t need fixing when you were a child (and neither did I, despite all the people who tried to fix me), your child doesn\'t need fixing either. Instead, we can use the struggles to better understand our needs and our child\'s needs, and work toward meeting them both. 

To investigate screeners that Dr. A. has available for free on her website, visit https://spectrumservicesnyc.com/resources/

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/Me]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/4153e728ecd6242fbf2c92717db91837.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='47980000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3144</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030400/ill-be-me-can-you-be-you.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030400/ill-be-me-can-you-be-you.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Support for Neurodivergent Parents</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/support-for-neurodivergent-parents-1788573898/33030401</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280528</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 18 Dec 2022 22:00:02 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Most of the resources related to parenting and neurodiversity are geared toward helping neurodivergent children, not neurodivergent parents, so this episode aims to help close that gap.

Whether you (or your partner, if you have one) have a diagnosis or you see yourself (or them) struggling but can\'t quite figure out why, this episode may help. Autism and ADHD are diagnosed at wildly differing rates in girls and boys (in large part because boys\' symptoms often turn outward while girls\' symptoms turn inward), which means that girls are very often undiagnosed and unsupported well into adulthood.

Dr. A. may help you to identify neurodivergence in yourself or your partner, and then connect you to resources to support you on your journey.

Find more about Dr. A\'s practice at SpectrumServicesNYC.com

I also very much appreciated Dr. A\'s memoir The Rose Hotel - https://amzn.to/3h112NR (affiliate link) about her experiences in Iran during the revolution, and later in the U.K. and the U.S.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/ParentsNeurodivergence]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Most of the resources related to parenting and neurodiversity are geared toward helping neurodivergent children, not neurodivergent parents, so this episode aims to help close that gap.

Whether you (or your partner, if you have one) have a diagnosis or you see yourself (or them) struggling but can\'t quite figure out why, this episode may help. Autism and ADHD are diagnosed at wildly differing rates in girls and boys (in large part because boys\' symptoms often turn outward while girls\' symptoms turn inward), which means that girls are very often undiagnosed and unsupported well into adulthood.

Dr. A. may help you to identify neurodivergence in yourself or your partner, and then connect you to resources to support you on your journey.

Find more about Dr. A\'s practice at SpectrumServicesNYC.com

I also very much appreciated Dr. A\'s memoir The Rose Hotel - https://amzn.to/3h112NR (affiliate link) about her experiences in Iran during the revolution, and later in the U.K. and the U.S.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/ParentsNeurodivergence]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/c80fde025667814ed38a2b46b8431055.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='62620000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >4103</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030401/support-for-neurodivergent-parents.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030401/support-for-neurodivergent-parents.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Why we shouldn\&apos;t read the \&quot;Your X-Year-Old Child\&quot; books any more</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/why-we-shouldnt-read-the-your-x-year-old-child-books-any-more-1788573898/33030402</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280497</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 04 Dec 2022 22:00:01 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Have you ever seen recommendations for the books called Your One Year Old, Your Two Year Old, and so on, by Louise Bates Ames? Every few weeks I see parents posting in online communities asking about some aspect of their child’s behavior that is confusing or annoying to them, and somebody responds: “You should read the Louise Bates Ames books!”

This usually comes with the caveat that the reader will have to disregard all the \'outdated gender stuff,\' but that the information on child development is still highly relevant.

In this episode I dig deep into the research on which these books are based. While the books were mostly published in the 1980s, they\'re based on research done in the 1930s to 1950s. 

I argue that far from just \'stripping out the outdated gender stuff,\' we need to look much deeper at the cultural context that the information in these books fits within - because it turns out that not only were the researchers not measuring \'normal,\' \'average\' child development, but that they were training children to respond to situations in a certain way, based on ideas about a person\'s role in society that may not fit with our views at all. And if this is the case, why should we use these books as a guide to our children\'s development?

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/yourxyearoldchild]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Have you ever seen recommendations for the books called Your One Year Old, Your Two Year Old, and so on, by Louise Bates Ames? Every few weeks I see parents posting in online communities asking about some aspect of their child’s behavior that is confusing or annoying to them, and somebody responds: “You should read the Louise Bates Ames books!”

This usually comes with the caveat that the reader will have to disregard all the \'outdated gender stuff,\' but that the information on child development is still highly relevant.

In this episode I dig deep into the research on which these books are based. While the books were mostly published in the 1980s, they\'re based on research done in the 1930s to 1950s. 

I argue that far from just \'stripping out the outdated gender stuff,\' we need to look much deeper at the cultural context that the information in these books fits within - because it turns out that not only were the researchers not measuring \'normal,\' \'average\' child development, but that they were training children to respond to situations in a certain way, based on ideas about a person\'s role in society that may not fit with our views at all. And if this is the case, why should we use these books as a guide to our children\'s development?

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/yourxyearoldchild]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/c6410e39b27b7fe18af41d18940958d7.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='62680000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >4271</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030402/why-we-shouldnt-read-the-your-x-year-old-child-books-any-more.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030402/why-we-shouldnt-read-the-your-x-year-old-child-books-any-more.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >You Are Not A Sh*tty Parent with Carla Naumburg</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/you-are-not-a-shtty-parent-with-carla-naumburg-1788573898/33030403</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280499</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 20 Nov 2022 22:00:17 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Are you a shitty parent? 

Or do you ever think you might be?

Parenting today is so hard, and there are so many models of \'perfect parenting\' available on social media that we can compare ourselves against that provide \'evidence\' that we\'re not doing it right. 

Things can get even more difficult when we believe in respectful parenting, because we have a model for what we know we want parenting to be like - and every time we fall short of that ideal, the voice is there:

\"You don\'t know what you\'re doing.\"
\"You\'ll never be able to do it right.\"
\"You\'re a shitty parent.\"

My guest today, Carla Naumburg, is the author of the bestselling book How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids, which was conveniently released just before a global pandemic started when we suddenly all started losing our shit with our kids. 

Now she\'s back with a new book: You Are Not A Sh*tty Parent which helps us to understand:
Where these stories about ourselves come from
How we can stop believing these stories
Ways to treat both ourselves and our children with more compassion

Carla was kind enough to send an advance copy of the book to a member of my community who said that she would read a sentence in it and think: 

“But you don’t know me; I actually AM a shitty parent!” [inset this quote]

...and then in the next sentence it was almost like Carla had read her mind and was prepared to address the member\'s precise concern. So if you ever feel anxious about your ability to parent in a way that\'s aligned with your values and think it\'s all about your failures, Carla has ideas to help.

Please note that some swearing is inevitable when you\'re talking about Carla\'s books but apart from that the conversation was remarkably restrained on the language front!

Affiliate link to You Are Not A Sh*tty Parent: https://amzn.to/3EXib4q
Affiliate link to How to Stop Losing Your Shit With Your Kids: https://amzn.to/3yYDWgC

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/YouAreNotAShittyParent]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Are you a shitty parent? 

Or do you ever think you might be?

Parenting today is so hard, and there are so many models of \'perfect parenting\' available on social media that we can compare ourselves against that provide \'evidence\' that we\'re not doing it right. 

Things can get even more difficult when we believe in respectful parenting, because we have a model for what we know we want parenting to be like - and every time we fall short of that ideal, the voice is there:

\"You don\'t know what you\'re doing.\"
\"You\'ll never be able to do it right.\"
\"You\'re a shitty parent.\"

My guest today, Carla Naumburg, is the author of the bestselling book How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids, which was conveniently released just before a global pandemic started when we suddenly all started losing our shit with our kids. 

Now she\'s back with a new book: You Are Not A Sh*tty Parent which helps us to understand:
Where these stories about ourselves come from
How we can stop believing these stories
Ways to treat both ourselves and our children with more compassion

Carla was kind enough to send an advance copy of the book to a member of my community who said that she would read a sentence in it and think: 

“But you don’t know me; I actually AM a shitty parent!” [inset this quote]

...and then in the next sentence it was almost like Carla had read her mind and was prepared to address the member\'s precise concern. So if you ever feel anxious about your ability to parent in a way that\'s aligned with your values and think it\'s all about your failures, Carla has ideas to help.

Please note that some swearing is inevitable when you\'re talking about Carla\'s books but apart from that the conversation was remarkably restrained on the language front!

Affiliate link to You Are Not A Sh*tty Parent: https://amzn.to/3EXib4q
Affiliate link to How to Stop Losing Your Shit With Your Kids: https://amzn.to/3yYDWgC

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/YouAreNotAShittyParent]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/e1816bf78a55c88071c73a9aaa37ce3c.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='55200000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3617</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030403/you-are-not-a-shtty-parent-with-carla-naumburg.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030403/you-are-not-a-shtty-parent-with-carla-naumburg.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How Good People Can Create A More Just Future with Dr. Dolly Chugh</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-good-people-can-create-a-more-just-future-with-dr-dolly-chugh-1788573898/33030404</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280390</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 06 Nov 2022 22:00:19 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Did you read Little House on the Prairie when you were a child? I didn\'t, but I know it\'s a common American rite of passage. My guest in this new episode, Dr. Dolly Chugh, got entirely immersed in the story with her two young daughters - so much so that they took a vacation to the places depicted in the story, and her daughters danced around in prairie dresses.

Dr. Chugh didn\'t realized until afterward that there was something missing from both Little House on the Prairie and from her family\'s exploration of the Midwest: settlers didn\'t arrive to find unoccupied land ready for farming; the government actively removed Native Americans from the land so it could be occupied by \'settlers.\' Dr. Chugh studies issues related to race as a professor, and yet she completely missed this aspect of our country\'s history.

In her new book, A More Just Future, Dr. Chugh asks why so-called Good People act in ways that are counter to their beliefs because we don\'t have all the information we need, or we prioritize some information over others. In our conversation we discussed this research, and what we can all do to take actions that are aligned with our values - even when we\'re new to working on social justice issues.

Affiliate link to A more just future: Reckoning with our past and driving social change by Dr. Dolly Chugh: https://amzn.to/3D8adV7

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/AmoreJustFuture]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Did you read Little House on the Prairie when you were a child? I didn\'t, but I know it\'s a common American rite of passage. My guest in this new episode, Dr. Dolly Chugh, got entirely immersed in the story with her two young daughters - so much so that they took a vacation to the places depicted in the story, and her daughters danced around in prairie dresses.

Dr. Chugh didn\'t realized until afterward that there was something missing from both Little House on the Prairie and from her family\'s exploration of the Midwest: settlers didn\'t arrive to find unoccupied land ready for farming; the government actively removed Native Americans from the land so it could be occupied by \'settlers.\' Dr. Chugh studies issues related to race as a professor, and yet she completely missed this aspect of our country\'s history.

In her new book, A More Just Future, Dr. Chugh asks why so-called Good People act in ways that are counter to their beliefs because we don\'t have all the information we need, or we prioritize some information over others. In our conversation we discussed this research, and what we can all do to take actions that are aligned with our values - even when we\'re new to working on social justice issues.

Affiliate link to A more just future: Reckoning with our past and driving social change by Dr. Dolly Chugh: https://amzn.to/3D8adV7

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/AmoreJustFuture]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/ef08e48a84db0ee470478a9da2a56e6d.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='57260000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3902</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030404/how-good-people-can-create-a-more-just-future-with-dr-dolly-chugh.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030404/how-good-people-can-create-a-more-just-future-with-dr-dolly-chugh.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to stop procrastinating with Dr. Fuschia Sirois</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-stop-procrastinating-with-dr-fuschia-sirois-1788573898/33030405</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280519</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 23 Oct 2022 22:00:16 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Our culture says that people procrastinate because they\'re disorganized and lazy. After all, how hard can it really be to do a task you\'ve committed to doing, and one that you even know will benefit you?!

But I learned through this episode that procrastination isn\'t about disorganization or laziness at all - it\'s much more about managing how we feel about tasks - and we can learn how to do this more effectively.

Those of us who don\'t struggle with procrastination can also do quite a bit to support the folks who do, to make it easier for them to get stuck in and be successful at the task.

Learn more about navigating your own procrastination and supporting your child in doing this as they get old enough for it to become relevant to them in this episode.

Amazon affiliate link to Procrastination: What it is, why it\'s a problem, and what you can do about it by Fuschia Sirois: https://amzn.to/3Tl9WTH

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/procastination

Jump to highlights:
0:00 Introduction
2:04 Definition of procrastination
3:19 The 2 kinds of procrastination and the difference between the two
4:07 How common is procrastination?
8:03 The interconnections between procrastination and people’s health
11:04 How can procrastination be linked to stress?
18:01 Bedtime Procrastination and its implication to people’s health
21:25 Link then between people’s emotional states and procrastination
25:42 The connections between perfectionism and procrastination
29:45 What is active procrastination and is it a good thing?
33:20 Interaction between procrastination and shame
40:42 What can we do to manage our emotions and take on tasks that are important and valuable to us
42:34 How can forgiveness and self-compassion affect procrastination
45:36 What is a paper doll diagram?
48:48 Can children procrastinate and at what age does procrastination start to show up?
50:42 Healthy ways of managing negative emotions

#procatination #procastinate #parenting #sleepprocrastination #Dr.FuschiaSirois #Howtostopprocrastinating #delayingatask #disorganizedandlazy]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Our culture says that people procrastinate because they\'re disorganized and lazy. After all, how hard can it really be to do a task you\'ve committed to doing, and one that you even know will benefit you?!

But I learned through this episode that procrastination isn\'t about disorganization or laziness at all - it\'s much more about managing how we feel about tasks - and we can learn how to do this more effectively.

Those of us who don\'t struggle with procrastination can also do quite a bit to support the folks who do, to make it easier for them to get stuck in and be successful at the task.

Learn more about navigating your own procrastination and supporting your child in doing this as they get old enough for it to become relevant to them in this episode.

Amazon affiliate link to Procrastination: What it is, why it\'s a problem, and what you can do about it by Fuschia Sirois: https://amzn.to/3Tl9WTH

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/procastination

Jump to highlights:
0:00 Introduction
2:04 Definition of procrastination
3:19 The 2 kinds of procrastination and the difference between the two
4:07 How common is procrastination?
8:03 The interconnections between procrastination and people’s health
11:04 How can procrastination be linked to stress?
18:01 Bedtime Procrastination and its implication to people’s health
21:25 Link then between people’s emotional states and procrastination
25:42 The connections between perfectionism and procrastination
29:45 What is active procrastination and is it a good thing?
33:20 Interaction between procrastination and shame
40:42 What can we do to manage our emotions and take on tasks that are important and valuable to us
42:34 How can forgiveness and self-compassion affect procrastination
45:36 What is a paper doll diagram?
48:48 Can children procrastinate and at what age does procrastination start to show up?
50:42 Healthy ways of managing negative emotions

#procatination #procastinate #parenting #sleepprocrastination #Dr.FuschiaSirois #Howtostopprocrastinating #delayingatask #disorganizedandlazy]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/43423698b1dd0e3afceb979e5bd9b512.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='55770000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3654</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030405/how-to-stop-procrastinating-with-dr-fuschia-sirois.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030405/how-to-stop-procrastinating-with-dr-fuschia-sirois.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to take care of yourself first with Liann Jensen</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-take-care-of-yourself-first-with-liann-jensen-1788573898/33030406</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280434</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 09 Oct 2022 22:00:11 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Liann did not have an easy entry into motherhood. Her first child’s birth was pretty traumatic; it was followed by a miscarriage and then very quickly by another pregnancy.

And then by COVID.

She was already overwhelmed and then everyone was isolated…and suddenly Liann had a whole lot of anger that she hadn’t seen before. She didn’t think things could be more difficult than they were in the immediate postpartum period…and then they were.

Her toddler, Hewitt, resented the new baby: Liann would be sitting on the couch nursing the baby and Hewitt is rolling on the floor shouting “NO BABY! NO BABY!”

Transitions weren’t a problem before, but now they couldn’t make it out the door to go anywhere.

Liann doesn’t deny that she was looking for a quick fix. She wanted Hewitt’s difficult behavior to stop, so she could stop feeling so freaking angry.

She listened to a few of my podcast episodes and realized that she had no self-compassion. She saw that she could be compassionate toward other people in her life, but she was unable to extend that compassion to herself (and I know she’s not alone here: this is incredibly common among the parents I work with). Every time one of her children had a meltdown it felt like a personal attack on her worth as a person.

It wasn’t a linear path for Liann to see things differently; she initially doubted that the new tools she was learning would be useful. She was out on a hike with them when they started whining and she realized they were tired and hungry…and so was she…but how did that help? 

Then she started to believe that things could be different; that there could be another way. She stopped taking everything so personally, which created space for her to be able to see what her children were asking for, instead of seeing their expression of needs as an attack on her for not having anticipated and met them already.

And she also started to understand her own needs, and how she could meet these in ways that might seem unconventional, and that wouldn’t work for everyone, but they worked for her. And that’s the important thing: it doesn’t matter whether the solution they came up with would work for anyone else, just like the solutions that will work for you and your child might not work for anyone else. What matters is that they work for the two of you.

Hear what the solution was that worked for Liann and her son after he’d been demanding that she put him to bed and nobody else - as well as how she’s learned to ask for and accept help from friends, and how she’s no longer fazed by a baby who has covered every inch of themselves and their crib with poop.

Liann experienced a number of non-cognitive shifts as she went through the Taming Your Triggers workshop, which is where you don’t just believe something different to be true in your head, but that you take it on in your entire body as well. At that point you no longer have to constantly remind yourself about what you’re supposed to do in difficult moments, because the knowledge isn’t just in your head - it’s in your body as well. Then it becomes part of the fabric of how you live your life with your child.

We can’t know when and how these will happen, but I will say that almost everyone I’ve seen really apply themselves in the workshop does experience a non-cognitive shift of some kind, and it isn’t always what they were expecting it to be about, but it does help them to see things in a different way, which opens up space for them to meet their child’s needs and their own needs as well.

Taming Your Triggers is open for enrollment for just a few more days, until midnight Pacific on Wednesday October 12. You’ll get:

One module of content each week for 10 weeks: all the detail you need, and none you don’t
Access to a private community of parents who will process this new knowledge alongside you, and even for you, as they explain what’s going on for them and you realize that you’re experiencing the same thing
The opportunity to be matched with an AccountaBuddy to hold you gently accountable to complete the workshop, and deepen your understanding of the content
Optional small group coaching with me if you know you need more support (for an additional fee)

As with everything I do, sliding scale pricing is available and so is a money-back guarantee.

And if you’d like to work directly with Liann, she’s actually coming back this time around as a peer coach! She (and our two other amazing peer coaches) will be in the workshop every few days, offering support and guidance from their perspective as parents who are a few months further along their journeys to Tame their Triggers. We’re both excited to meet you!
 
Register here: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/liann]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Liann did not have an easy entry into motherhood. Her first child’s birth was pretty traumatic; it was followed by a miscarriage and then very quickly by another pregnancy.

And then by COVID.

She was already overwhelmed and then everyone was isolated…and suddenly Liann had a whole lot of anger that she hadn’t seen before. She didn’t think things could be more difficult than they were in the immediate postpartum period…and then they were.

Her toddler, Hewitt, resented the new baby: Liann would be sitting on the couch nursing the baby and Hewitt is rolling on the floor shouting “NO BABY! NO BABY!”

Transitions weren’t a problem before, but now they couldn’t make it out the door to go anywhere.

Liann doesn’t deny that she was looking for a quick fix. She wanted Hewitt’s difficult behavior to stop, so she could stop feeling so freaking angry.

She listened to a few of my podcast episodes and realized that she had no self-compassion. She saw that she could be compassionate toward other people in her life, but she was unable to extend that compassion to herself (and I know she’s not alone here: this is incredibly common among the parents I work with). Every time one of her children had a meltdown it felt like a personal attack on her worth as a person.

It wasn’t a linear path for Liann to see things differently; she initially doubted that the new tools she was learning would be useful. She was out on a hike with them when they started whining and she realized they were tired and hungry…and so was she…but how did that help? 

Then she started to believe that things could be different; that there could be another way. She stopped taking everything so personally, which created space for her to be able to see what her children were asking for, instead of seeing their expression of needs as an attack on her for not having anticipated and met them already.

And she also started to understand her own needs, and how she could meet these in ways that might seem unconventional, and that wouldn’t work for everyone, but they worked for her. And that’s the important thing: it doesn’t matter whether the solution they came up with would work for anyone else, just like the solutions that will work for you and your child might not work for anyone else. What matters is that they work for the two of you.

Hear what the solution was that worked for Liann and her son after he’d been demanding that she put him to bed and nobody else - as well as how she’s learned to ask for and accept help from friends, and how she’s no longer fazed by a baby who has covered every inch of themselves and their crib with poop.

Liann experienced a number of non-cognitive shifts as she went through the Taming Your Triggers workshop, which is where you don’t just believe something different to be true in your head, but that you take it on in your entire body as well. At that point you no longer have to constantly remind yourself about what you’re supposed to do in difficult moments, because the knowledge isn’t just in your head - it’s in your body as well. Then it becomes part of the fabric of how you live your life with your child.

We can’t know when and how these will happen, but I will say that almost everyone I’ve seen really apply themselves in the workshop does experience a non-cognitive shift of some kind, and it isn’t always what they were expecting it to be about, but it does help them to see things in a different way, which opens up space for them to meet their child’s needs and their own needs as well.

Taming Your Triggers is open for enrollment for just a few more days, until midnight Pacific on Wednesday October 12. You’ll get:

One module of content each week for 10 weeks: all the detail you need, and none you don’t
Access to a private community of parents who will process this new knowledge alongside you, and even for you, as they explain what’s going on for them and you realize that you’re experiencing the same thing
The opportunity to be matched with an AccountaBuddy to hold you gently accountable to complete the workshop, and deepen your understanding of the content
Optional small group coaching with me if you know you need more support (for an additional fee)

As with everything I do, sliding scale pricing is available and so is a money-back guarantee.

And if you’d like to work directly with Liann, she’s actually coming back this time around as a peer coach! She (and our two other amazing peer coaches) will be in the workshop every few days, offering support and guidance from their perspective as parents who are a few months further along their journeys to Tame their Triggers. We’re both excited to meet you!
 
Register here: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/liann]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/cd7beb9fbabd15bda6e913a8b9c64004.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='55430000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3798</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030406/how-to-take-care-of-yourself-first-with-liann-jensen.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030406/how-to-take-care-of-yourself-first-with-liann-jensen.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Feeling Triggered by Current Events</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/feeling-triggered-by-current-events-1788573898/33030407</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280436</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 03 Oct 2022 22:00:16 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[I know it can be really difficult to navigate all the events happening in the world today. It seems like things are falling apart, with wars, climate change-caused drought and wildfires in some areas and flooding in others, with hunger not following far behind. And things aren’t any better on the political front either.

When difficult things happen out there in the world, they spill over into our relationships with our children. We suddenly find ourselves snapping at them far more easily than usual. The things they do that are normally mildly irritating now push us to the limit, and we end up reacting to them in ways that we don’t like. 

In this episode we discuss the reasons why you feel emotionally yanked around by things that are happening out there in the wider world, as well as by the ways these things are discussed online and in our families as well. 

We look at the tools you can use to regulate your emotions when this happens…but also that regulating your emotions and then voting to express your feelings about how the world should be isn’t going to make a meaningful difference. We learn tools you can use instead to create a sense of autonomy, which reduces stress and also change the circumstances themselves so they are less triggering in the future.

If you know you need support with your triggered feelings, whether these are related to:

Events that are going on in the wider world
Seeing discussion of those events online or hearing about them from family members or friends
Traumatic events that you experienced in your childhood
Events in your childhood that you don’t think of as traumatic, and yet left marks on you
Difficulties you’re having now

…the Taming Your Triggers workshop will help. In the workshop you’ll learn what are the real causes of your triggered feelings (which really aren’t about your child’s behavior), and you’ll get support in taking on these ideas deeply so they aren’t just things you have to remember, but that you actually believe and live.

The difficult things that happened to us happened in relationships with other people, and so we heal most effectively through relationships with other people as well. We’ll support you in an amazing community of parents who are all on this journey alongside you, and you’ll also get the opportunity to pair up with one of them so you can hold each other (gently!) accountable to keep going through the workshop even when things get hard, and to deepen your learning as you go. Registration is open right now until Wednesday October 11th, and sliding scale pricing is available. Sign up here https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/triggeredbycurrentevents]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[I know it can be really difficult to navigate all the events happening in the world today. It seems like things are falling apart, with wars, climate change-caused drought and wildfires in some areas and flooding in others, with hunger not following far behind. And things aren’t any better on the political front either.

When difficult things happen out there in the world, they spill over into our relationships with our children. We suddenly find ourselves snapping at them far more easily than usual. The things they do that are normally mildly irritating now push us to the limit, and we end up reacting to them in ways that we don’t like. 

In this episode we discuss the reasons why you feel emotionally yanked around by things that are happening out there in the wider world, as well as by the ways these things are discussed online and in our families as well. 

We look at the tools you can use to regulate your emotions when this happens…but also that regulating your emotions and then voting to express your feelings about how the world should be isn’t going to make a meaningful difference. We learn tools you can use instead to create a sense of autonomy, which reduces stress and also change the circumstances themselves so they are less triggering in the future.

If you know you need support with your triggered feelings, whether these are related to:

Events that are going on in the wider world
Seeing discussion of those events online or hearing about them from family members or friends
Traumatic events that you experienced in your childhood
Events in your childhood that you don’t think of as traumatic, and yet left marks on you
Difficulties you’re having now

…the Taming Your Triggers workshop will help. In the workshop you’ll learn what are the real causes of your triggered feelings (which really aren’t about your child’s behavior), and you’ll get support in taking on these ideas deeply so they aren’t just things you have to remember, but that you actually believe and live.

The difficult things that happened to us happened in relationships with other people, and so we heal most effectively through relationships with other people as well. We’ll support you in an amazing community of parents who are all on this journey alongside you, and you’ll also get the opportunity to pair up with one of them so you can hold each other (gently!) accountable to keep going through the workshop even when things get hard, and to deepen your learning as you go. Registration is open right now until Wednesday October 11th, and sliding scale pricing is available. Sign up here https://yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/triggeredbycurrentevents]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/958def3ee2e08264e6320d69b7b4ae54.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='36800000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2411</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030407/feeling-triggered-by-current-events.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030407/feeling-triggered-by-current-events.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Healing and Helping with Mutual Aid with Dean Spade</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/healing-and-helping-with-mutual-aid-with-dean-spade-1788573898/33030408</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280469</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sat, 24 Sep 2022 20:42:59 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[In this conversation with Dean Spade we resolve a long-running challenge in my understanding: when we talked with Dr. john powell on the topic of Othering and Belonging a couple of years ago we discussed how volunteering promotes othering, because it perpetuates the idea that the volunteer is a person with resources to give, and the recipient has little in the way of useful knowledge or resources of their own. Dr. powell agreed, but we didn’t have time to discuss what to do instead.

In this episode we finally punch out that lingering hanging chad of knowledge and talk with Dean Spade about the concept of mutual aid, which is the topic of his book: Mutual Aid: Building Solidarity in This Crisis (And The Next). In this conversation we discuss:

What is mutual aid, and how it’s more effective than volunteering
How we heal in community with others from the effects that benign-seeming systems like capitalism have on us
Ways to find and get involved in mutual aid projects

As Dean and I talked, I also realized how applicable these ideas are to the work I do with parents in the Taming Your Triggers workshop. 

It’s not surprising that parents feel triggered by their child’s behavior when you consider the trauma that we’ve experienced. Even if you had ‘good parents,’ they still raised you to succeed within a system that told you to hide unacceptable parts of yourself so you could be ‘successful’ - which means getting good grades, going to college, getting a good job, buying a house, and raising a family. And we’re supposed to do all of this by ourselves, without relying on others - because then we’ll need to buy more stuff along the journey.

Our culture uses shame to enforce these rules and keep us in line - that’s why we feel a sense of wrong-ness when we do something that isn’t socially acceptable - like asking for help, for example.

Because these traumas happened in community, they’re most effectively healed in community as well.

If you want to jump-start your ability to actually apply that knowledge in your interactions with your children by learning in community with others, then Taming Your Triggers will help you]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[In this conversation with Dean Spade we resolve a long-running challenge in my understanding: when we talked with Dr. john powell on the topic of Othering and Belonging a couple of years ago we discussed how volunteering promotes othering, because it perpetuates the idea that the volunteer is a person with resources to give, and the recipient has little in the way of useful knowledge or resources of their own. Dr. powell agreed, but we didn’t have time to discuss what to do instead.

In this episode we finally punch out that lingering hanging chad of knowledge and talk with Dean Spade about the concept of mutual aid, which is the topic of his book: Mutual Aid: Building Solidarity in This Crisis (And The Next). In this conversation we discuss:

What is mutual aid, and how it’s more effective than volunteering
How we heal in community with others from the effects that benign-seeming systems like capitalism have on us
Ways to find and get involved in mutual aid projects

As Dean and I talked, I also realized how applicable these ideas are to the work I do with parents in the Taming Your Triggers workshop. 

It’s not surprising that parents feel triggered by their child’s behavior when you consider the trauma that we’ve experienced. Even if you had ‘good parents,’ they still raised you to succeed within a system that told you to hide unacceptable parts of yourself so you could be ‘successful’ - which means getting good grades, going to college, getting a good job, buying a house, and raising a family. And we’re supposed to do all of this by ourselves, without relying on others - because then we’ll need to buy more stuff along the journey.

Our culture uses shame to enforce these rules and keep us in line - that’s why we feel a sense of wrong-ness when we do something that isn’t socially acceptable - like asking for help, for example.

Because these traumas happened in community, they’re most effectively healed in community as well.

If you want to jump-start your ability to actually apply that knowledge in your interactions with your children by learning in community with others, then Taming Your Triggers will help you]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/041845265d86469fa9ecbbf33a4cfd31.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='62550000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >4099</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030408/healing-and-helping-with-mutual-aid-with-dean-spade.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030408/healing-and-helping-with-mutual-aid-with-dean-spade.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Learning to trust your child - and yourself</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/learning-to-trust-your-child-and-yourself-1788573898/33030409</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280489</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 11 Sep 2022 22:00:04 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Claire had used respectful parenting methods since her children were babies, so child-led learning seemed like a natural fit for her. She protected her toddler’s free play time and involved her in household chores and nature walks.

Claire attended school as a child (just like I did!); she even enjoyed elementary school. By high school she didn’t see the relevance between what she was being taught and the things she was interested in - by that time her biggest lessons came from extracurricular art classes with mostly retired classmates at an art school, and from a theater production which she and other students put on entirely by themselves - getting advice from teachers, but messing up and fixing their mistakes by themselves.

It was the art classes and theater experiences that shaped the kind of learning that Claire wanted for her child, so she got herself pretty worked up over the idea of her oldest daughter attending public school. It was actually joining my Learning Membership that helped her see that if she did need to put her daughter in school someday, they would still be able to find ways to support her at home. Whichever way that turned out, she and her daughter would be OK.

And in the meantime, her daughter had transitioned from the simpler questions of two to the more complex, involved questions of three. Her new sibling was born, and her writing explorations proceeded in parallel with figuring out her place in the newly expanded family: suddenly she’s highly motivated to write a sign saying:

NO BABIES ALLOWED.

Not only has Claire seen her child’s learning develop, but she’s also seeing her own growth as a person and as a parent. Having arrived at the decision to homeschool from a place of fear and defensiveness, which she would have to justify to her extended family who are teachers, she now feels confident that homeschooling is the right fit for her family right now - even though that may change in the future.

And - more importantly - she has reimagined her role in the homeschooling relationship. She now knows she doesn’t need to high-tail it for the library the moment her daughter expresses an interest in a new subject - she can sit back and observe and see what her daughter is really learning…and then go to the library if that’s the most appropriate thing to do. Claire is becoming her daughter’s guide on the side who takes cues from her learner, rather than the sage on the stage who takes advantage of every Teachable Moment to impart a lesson.

Now Claire feels much more relaxed about her daughter’s learning, because she trusts her daughter - and she trusts herself. Claire had spent a lot of her own early years feeling uncomfortable, and searching for belonging. She figured that if she just pushed herself harder, and beat herself up when things went wrong, that eventually she would be good enough. 

That she would finally stop feeling ashamed of herself, and fit in.

Now she sees that you can’t teach a child to be compassionate. The way our children learn compassion is by seeing us being compassionate with them - and with ourselves. 

So Claire is reparenting herself at the same time as she’s supporting her child’s learning.

Claire is in the Supporting Your Child’s Learning Membership, which doesn’t offer a curriculum.

It doesn’t tell you what activities to do when, or give a checklist of learning goals for you to fill out.

Instead, it helps you to:
See learning where it’s already happening
Provide just the right amount and type of support to help your child direct their own learning (and ALL children are capable of doing this; even the ones with diagnoses, and even the ones who can’t focus at school)
Bolster skills like critical thinking, full-bodied learning, and metacognition, that they can use to learn ANY new idea or skill they like.

If you need this help so you can support your own child’s learning, I’d love to meet you in the Learning Membership. Enrollment is open NOW until Thursday September 22nd, and we’ll get started as a group on October 1. Just click the link below to learn more:
https://yourparentingmojo.com/learningmembership/

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/claire]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Claire had used respectful parenting methods since her children were babies, so child-led learning seemed like a natural fit for her. She protected her toddler’s free play time and involved her in household chores and nature walks.

Claire attended school as a child (just like I did!); she even enjoyed elementary school. By high school she didn’t see the relevance between what she was being taught and the things she was interested in - by that time her biggest lessons came from extracurricular art classes with mostly retired classmates at an art school, and from a theater production which she and other students put on entirely by themselves - getting advice from teachers, but messing up and fixing their mistakes by themselves.

It was the art classes and theater experiences that shaped the kind of learning that Claire wanted for her child, so she got herself pretty worked up over the idea of her oldest daughter attending public school. It was actually joining my Learning Membership that helped her see that if she did need to put her daughter in school someday, they would still be able to find ways to support her at home. Whichever way that turned out, she and her daughter would be OK.

And in the meantime, her daughter had transitioned from the simpler questions of two to the more complex, involved questions of three. Her new sibling was born, and her writing explorations proceeded in parallel with figuring out her place in the newly expanded family: suddenly she’s highly motivated to write a sign saying:

NO BABIES ALLOWED.

Not only has Claire seen her child’s learning develop, but she’s also seeing her own growth as a person and as a parent. Having arrived at the decision to homeschool from a place of fear and defensiveness, which she would have to justify to her extended family who are teachers, she now feels confident that homeschooling is the right fit for her family right now - even though that may change in the future.

And - more importantly - she has reimagined her role in the homeschooling relationship. She now knows she doesn’t need to high-tail it for the library the moment her daughter expresses an interest in a new subject - she can sit back and observe and see what her daughter is really learning…and then go to the library if that’s the most appropriate thing to do. Claire is becoming her daughter’s guide on the side who takes cues from her learner, rather than the sage on the stage who takes advantage of every Teachable Moment to impart a lesson.

Now Claire feels much more relaxed about her daughter’s learning, because she trusts her daughter - and she trusts herself. Claire had spent a lot of her own early years feeling uncomfortable, and searching for belonging. She figured that if she just pushed herself harder, and beat herself up when things went wrong, that eventually she would be good enough. 

That she would finally stop feeling ashamed of herself, and fit in.

Now she sees that you can’t teach a child to be compassionate. The way our children learn compassion is by seeing us being compassionate with them - and with ourselves. 

So Claire is reparenting herself at the same time as she’s supporting her child’s learning.

Claire is in the Supporting Your Child’s Learning Membership, which doesn’t offer a curriculum.

It doesn’t tell you what activities to do when, or give a checklist of learning goals for you to fill out.

Instead, it helps you to:
See learning where it’s already happening
Provide just the right amount and type of support to help your child direct their own learning (and ALL children are capable of doing this; even the ones with diagnoses, and even the ones who can’t focus at school)
Bolster skills like critical thinking, full-bodied learning, and metacognition, that they can use to learn ANY new idea or skill they like.

If you need this help so you can support your own child’s learning, I’d love to meet you in the Learning Membership. Enrollment is open NOW until Thursday September 22nd, and we’ll get started as a group on October 1. Just click the link below to learn more:
https://yourparentingmojo.com/learningmembership/

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/claire]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/e32577fd588f0cca609a4b4a238bcabe.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='51730000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3390</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030409/learning-to-trust-your-child-and-yourself.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030409/learning-to-trust-your-child-and-yourself.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Supporting Neurodivergent Children</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/supporting-neurodivergent-children-1788573898/33030410</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280516</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 21 Aug 2022 22:00:10 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Parents have been asking me for episodes on neurodivergence for a while now so I’m hoping this episode will become the start of a mini-series. In this first conversation I talk with Dr. Hanna Bertilsdotter-Rosqvist, co-author of the new book Neurodiveristy Studies: A New Critical Paradigm. We look at this topic through the lens of autism, and I share some information I found to be pretty surprising when, out of curiosity, I took the Autism Spectrum Quotient screening online.

We discuss ways that schools, workplaces, and the wider world could better accommodate neurodivergent people, both so neurodivergent people can live the fullest expression of themselves, and also so everyone can benefit from their ideas, experience, and expertise.

While this episode uses autism as a lens through which to discuss neurodiversity, the ideas in it can be applied to other types of neurodiversity including Asperger’s syndrome, dyslexia, dyscalculia, ADHD, synesthesia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and Tourette syndrome.

I also see neurodiversity as much more broad than the typical way this term is used, which tends to be used to mean “a person with a disorder that makes them not as good as a normal person.” I see us all as neurodiverse, each with our own unique combination of talents and struggles, so we should support children in learning in the way that’s uniquely suited to them.

If you’d like to learn how to do this, come and join my FREE You Are Your Child’s Best Teacher workshop, which is coming up between August 29 and September 9. Enrollment is open right now - just click the banner below!


For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/neurodivergent]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Parents have been asking me for episodes on neurodivergence for a while now so I’m hoping this episode will become the start of a mini-series. In this first conversation I talk with Dr. Hanna Bertilsdotter-Rosqvist, co-author of the new book Neurodiveristy Studies: A New Critical Paradigm. We look at this topic through the lens of autism, and I share some information I found to be pretty surprising when, out of curiosity, I took the Autism Spectrum Quotient screening online.

We discuss ways that schools, workplaces, and the wider world could better accommodate neurodivergent people, both so neurodivergent people can live the fullest expression of themselves, and also so everyone can benefit from their ideas, experience, and expertise.

While this episode uses autism as a lens through which to discuss neurodiversity, the ideas in it can be applied to other types of neurodiversity including Asperger’s syndrome, dyslexia, dyscalculia, ADHD, synesthesia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and Tourette syndrome.

I also see neurodiversity as much more broad than the typical way this term is used, which tends to be used to mean “a person with a disorder that makes them not as good as a normal person.” I see us all as neurodiverse, each with our own unique combination of talents and struggles, so we should support children in learning in the way that’s uniquely suited to them.

If you’d like to learn how to do this, come and join my FREE You Are Your Child’s Best Teacher workshop, which is coming up between August 29 and September 9. Enrollment is open right now - just click the banner below!


For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/neurodivergent]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/20cd1d46015d3b3dd5462e11ac074aa6.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='54110000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3546</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030410/supporting-neurodivergent-children.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030410/supporting-neurodivergent-children.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Should children vote?</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/should-children-vote-1788573898/33030411</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280415</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 14 Aug 2022 22:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Every once in a while a blog post about ‘childism’ makes the rounds on social media, which is described as being a “prejudice against young people” that’s on par with sexism, racism, and homophobia. But the Director of the Childism Institute, Dr. John Wall, argues that that definition implies children are simply victims of whatever adults throw at them - when actually they are active agents who create meaning for themselves.

Dr. Wall’s most recent book is called Give Children The Vote - when I picked it up, I have to admit that I rolled my eyes. I was prepared to remain skeptical…and was surprised to find that by the end of the book, the idea of children’s suffrage actually made a whole lot of sense. 

Changing our minds…changing the world
A big part of what happened to me as I researched this episode was that I changed my ideas about two things I’d long assumed to be true: that we need to protect children from adults who look down at them, and that children shouldn’t be able to vote. As you’ll hear in the episode, my daughter was actually part of this process on the voting topic - we talked about whether she thought she should be able to vote, and she demonstrated the major capabilities that Dr. Wall said children need to be able to vote responsibly.

So often we get stuck in a rut of imagining that the way we see the world is The Right Way, and if our child doesn’t see it that way then it’s because they aren’t yet mature enough to know how the world really works. But what if we could see that the ways children view the world - in fact, the ways we used to view the world before we were taught that rational arguments supersede all other kinds of knowledge - as something that actually has value? 

Not only does it have value, but it might create insights into the challenges we face - from the small ones in our daily lives to the really big ones like what we’ll do about climate change and how we’ll address really big social problems. 

Our children need us to see and value their creativity, because there are so many other places in the world that don’t value it - and that will squash it out of them pretty quickly.

If you’d like to learn how to support your own child’s intrinsic creativity and love of learning, I invite you to join me in the FREE You Are Your Child’s Best Teacher workshop that starts Monday August 29th. You’ll get:

A set of five emails over two weeks (including a holiday weekend in the U.S., allowing you extra time with your children to see the methods in action!);
All your questions answered in a private pop-up Facebook group;
The new ideas, tools, and mindset hacks you’ll need to transform the way you see your child’s learning, and how you support it.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/childrenvote]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Every once in a while a blog post about ‘childism’ makes the rounds on social media, which is described as being a “prejudice against young people” that’s on par with sexism, racism, and homophobia. But the Director of the Childism Institute, Dr. John Wall, argues that that definition implies children are simply victims of whatever adults throw at them - when actually they are active agents who create meaning for themselves.

Dr. Wall’s most recent book is called Give Children The Vote - when I picked it up, I have to admit that I rolled my eyes. I was prepared to remain skeptical…and was surprised to find that by the end of the book, the idea of children’s suffrage actually made a whole lot of sense. 

Changing our minds…changing the world
A big part of what happened to me as I researched this episode was that I changed my ideas about two things I’d long assumed to be true: that we need to protect children from adults who look down at them, and that children shouldn’t be able to vote. As you’ll hear in the episode, my daughter was actually part of this process on the voting topic - we talked about whether she thought she should be able to vote, and she demonstrated the major capabilities that Dr. Wall said children need to be able to vote responsibly.

So often we get stuck in a rut of imagining that the way we see the world is The Right Way, and if our child doesn’t see it that way then it’s because they aren’t yet mature enough to know how the world really works. But what if we could see that the ways children view the world - in fact, the ways we used to view the world before we were taught that rational arguments supersede all other kinds of knowledge - as something that actually has value? 

Not only does it have value, but it might create insights into the challenges we face - from the small ones in our daily lives to the really big ones like what we’ll do about climate change and how we’ll address really big social problems. 

Our children need us to see and value their creativity, because there are so many other places in the world that don’t value it - and that will squash it out of them pretty quickly.

If you’d like to learn how to support your own child’s intrinsic creativity and love of learning, I invite you to join me in the FREE You Are Your Child’s Best Teacher workshop that starts Monday August 29th. You’ll get:

A set of five emails over two weeks (including a holiday weekend in the U.S., allowing you extra time with your children to see the methods in action!);
All your questions answered in a private pop-up Facebook group;
The new ideas, tools, and mindset hacks you’ll need to transform the way you see your child’s learning, and how you support it.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/childrenvote]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/10e7020568b941fc1482d8b4793fa19c.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='59430000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >4061</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030411/should-children-vote.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030411/should-children-vote.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >New masculinities for older boys</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/new-masculinities-for-older-boys-1788573898/33030412</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280416</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 17 Jul 2022 22:00:13 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[We\'ve covered a number of episodes in the past that feed into this one, including Raising Emotionally Healthy Boys with Dr. Judy Chu (which focused on boys\' understanding of masculinity in the preschool years), and Playing to Win with Dr. Hilary Levy Friedman (which looked at the lessons children learn from sports...which aren\'t really related to the sports themselves...). 

And of course there are the two episodes on patriarchy; the interview with Dr. Carol Gilligan, as well as my conversation with listener Brian Stout about what we learned during the interview.

A few weeks ago listener Caroline and I interviewed Dr. Marnina Gonick on the topic of girls\' relationships, which stemmed from the question \'why are middle/high school-aged girls so mean to each other?\' but became much broader in scope as we looked at the cultural factors shaping girls\' relationships. At the end of that conversation I asked Dr. Gonick if she knew anyone who was doing work similar to hers but looking at boys\' relationships, and she did! 

In today\'s conversation Caroline returns to co-interview Dr. Michael Kehler, who is Research Professor in Masculinities Studies at the Weklund School of Education at the University of Calgary. We discuss how masculinity isn\'t something that boys are; it\'s something they do, how the traditional interpretation of masculinity hurts our boys and girls, and what parents can do to support boys in engaging in alternative masculinities that allow them to feel more whole as people.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/masculinities]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[We\'ve covered a number of episodes in the past that feed into this one, including Raising Emotionally Healthy Boys with Dr. Judy Chu (which focused on boys\' understanding of masculinity in the preschool years), and Playing to Win with Dr. Hilary Levy Friedman (which looked at the lessons children learn from sports...which aren\'t really related to the sports themselves...). 

And of course there are the two episodes on patriarchy; the interview with Dr. Carol Gilligan, as well as my conversation with listener Brian Stout about what we learned during the interview.

A few weeks ago listener Caroline and I interviewed Dr. Marnina Gonick on the topic of girls\' relationships, which stemmed from the question \'why are middle/high school-aged girls so mean to each other?\' but became much broader in scope as we looked at the cultural factors shaping girls\' relationships. At the end of that conversation I asked Dr. Gonick if she knew anyone who was doing work similar to hers but looking at boys\' relationships, and she did! 

In today\'s conversation Caroline returns to co-interview Dr. Michael Kehler, who is Research Professor in Masculinities Studies at the Weklund School of Education at the University of Calgary. We discuss how masculinity isn\'t something that boys are; it\'s something they do, how the traditional interpretation of masculinity hurts our boys and girls, and what parents can do to support boys in engaging in alternative masculinities that allow them to feel more whole as people.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/masculinities]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/7515949f3e1990c2b970ffe6a6797d34.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='53520000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3507</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030412/new-masculinities-for-older-boys.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030412/new-masculinities-for-older-boys.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Wanting What\&apos;s Best</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/wanting-whats-best-1788573898/33030413</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280399</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 03 Jul 2022 22:00:12 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[There are lots of books available now on how to talk with children about issues related to race, but Sarah W. Jaffe noticed a gap: there weren\'t any books geared toward non-academic audiences talking about how the choices that predominantly well-off, predominantly White parents make impact other people. From childcare choices to school to college, at every step of the way we make decisions that reflect Wanting What\'s Best for our own child, but very often these decisions are rooted in the fear of our child falling behind in some way, and when we try to elevate our own child we often do it at the expense of others.

Sarah\'s book uncovers the ideas that underlie the seemingly innocuous decisions we make so we can ensure that our choices are really aligned with our values. It also provides a great counterpoint to the book that I\'m in the process of writing, which will be on the ways we either pass on or disrupt the tools of White supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism to our own children through the daily interactions we have with them that don\'t seem to be about anything related to these topics. Publication date September 2023: stay tuned!

Click here http://tinyurl.com/4e9z5y5z to order Sarah W. Jaffe\'s book Wanting What\'s Best: Parenting, Privilege, and Building a Just World. 

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/wantingwhatsbest]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[There are lots of books available now on how to talk with children about issues related to race, but Sarah W. Jaffe noticed a gap: there weren\'t any books geared toward non-academic audiences talking about how the choices that predominantly well-off, predominantly White parents make impact other people. From childcare choices to school to college, at every step of the way we make decisions that reflect Wanting What\'s Best for our own child, but very often these decisions are rooted in the fear of our child falling behind in some way, and when we try to elevate our own child we often do it at the expense of others.

Sarah\'s book uncovers the ideas that underlie the seemingly innocuous decisions we make so we can ensure that our choices are really aligned with our values. It also provides a great counterpoint to the book that I\'m in the process of writing, which will be on the ways we either pass on or disrupt the tools of White supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism to our own children through the daily interactions we have with them that don\'t seem to be about anything related to these topics. Publication date September 2023: stay tuned!

Click here http://tinyurl.com/4e9z5y5z to order Sarah W. Jaffe\'s book Wanting What\'s Best: Parenting, Privilege, and Building a Just World. 

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/wantingwhatsbest]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/6c1106ce793bc61e8c2a90f968fca86e.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='53220000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3657</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030413/wanting-whats-best.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030413/wanting-whats-best.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Girls\&apos; Relationships</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/girls-relationships-1788573898/33030414</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280478</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 19 Jun 2022 22:00:18 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[I\'ve been wanting to do this episode for a loooong time. We covered episodes a long time ago on how children form social groups, and what happens when they exclude each other from play, but I wanted to do an episode exploring this issue related to slightly older girls, and from a cultural perspective. There are a lot of books and articles out there on the concept of mean girls and I wanted to understand more about that. Why are girls \'mean\' to each other? Is it really a choice they\'re making...or is it a choice in response to a complex set of demands that we put on them about what it means to be female in our culture?

I had a really hard time finding anyone who was doing current research on the topic, and I mentioned this on a group coaching call in the Parenting Membership. A member, Caroline, said: \"I know someone who can speak to this!\"

Caroline had explored girls\' relationships in young adult literature for her master\'s thesis, and knew Dr. Marnina Gonick\'s work. Caroline introduced us, Dr. Gonick agreed to talk, and we all had a great conversation about girls\' role in our culture, how they are affected by it, and how they are agents of change as well. Dr. Gonick is Canada Research Chair in Gender and also holds a joint appointment in Education and Women\'s Studies at Mount St. Vincent University in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. She has written two books on the topic of girls\' relationships as well as a whole host of peer-reviewed articles.

Dr. Gonick also introduced me to an expert on boys\' relationships and we\'re currently working to schedule an interview in a few weeks so there should be more to come on that soon!

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/youngfemininity]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[I\'ve been wanting to do this episode for a loooong time. We covered episodes a long time ago on how children form social groups, and what happens when they exclude each other from play, but I wanted to do an episode exploring this issue related to slightly older girls, and from a cultural perspective. There are a lot of books and articles out there on the concept of mean girls and I wanted to understand more about that. Why are girls \'mean\' to each other? Is it really a choice they\'re making...or is it a choice in response to a complex set of demands that we put on them about what it means to be female in our culture?

I had a really hard time finding anyone who was doing current research on the topic, and I mentioned this on a group coaching call in the Parenting Membership. A member, Caroline, said: \"I know someone who can speak to this!\"

Caroline had explored girls\' relationships in young adult literature for her master\'s thesis, and knew Dr. Marnina Gonick\'s work. Caroline introduced us, Dr. Gonick agreed to talk, and we all had a great conversation about girls\' role in our culture, how they are affected by it, and how they are agents of change as well. Dr. Gonick is Canada Research Chair in Gender and also holds a joint appointment in Education and Women\'s Studies at Mount St. Vincent University in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. She has written two books on the topic of girls\' relationships as well as a whole host of peer-reviewed articles.

Dr. Gonick also introduced me to an expert on boys\' relationships and we\'re currently working to schedule an interview in a few weeks so there should be more to come on that soon!

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/youngfemininity]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/82b1d922cf7e1d1896f7a2b136fcc9b5.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='58190000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3813</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030414/girls-relationships.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030414/girls-relationships.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Authoritative isn’t the best Parenting \&quot;Style\&quot;</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/authoritative-isnt-the-best-parenting-style-1788573898/33030415</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280430</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 24 Apr 2022 22:00:03 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[On average, authoritative parents spanked just as much as the average of all other parents. Undoubtedly, some parents can be authoritative without using spanking but we have no evidence that all or even most parents can achieve authoritative parenting without an occasional spank.” 

I was fascinated by this statement, since authoritative parenting is the best style. 

We know it’s the best, right?

I mean, everyone says it is. Including me.

And who was the co-author on this paper this statement comes from? 

None other than Dr. Diana Baumrind, creator of the Parenting Styles (although they weren’t called that then; they were originally called the Models of Parental Control. 

Just to make sure we’re on the same page here, I’m going to say that again: Dr. Diana Baumrind, who created the parenting styles/model of parental control, says you can’t achieve the parenting style that has the ‘best’ outcomes for children without an occasional spank.

So in this episode we dig pretty deeply into what makes up the parenting styles, and what Dr. Baumrind and others found about the effectiveness of these styles, and what impacts they had on children. (And I have to warn you now, the samples sizes we’re looking at to ‘prove’ that authoritative is the best parenting style are going to make your stomach churn.)

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/parentingstyles/

#ParentingStyles #AuthoritativeParenting #GentleParenting #ConsciousParenting #PositiveDiscipline #RespectfulParenting #ParentingPodcast #ParentingTips #RaisingKids #EffectiveParenting #ParentingMyths #ParentingAdvice #MindfulParenting #PeacefulParenting #ParentingMistakes #ModernParenting]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[On average, authoritative parents spanked just as much as the average of all other parents. Undoubtedly, some parents can be authoritative without using spanking but we have no evidence that all or even most parents can achieve authoritative parenting without an occasional spank.” 

I was fascinated by this statement, since authoritative parenting is the best style. 

We know it’s the best, right?

I mean, everyone says it is. Including me.

And who was the co-author on this paper this statement comes from? 

None other than Dr. Diana Baumrind, creator of the Parenting Styles (although they weren’t called that then; they were originally called the Models of Parental Control. 

Just to make sure we’re on the same page here, I’m going to say that again: Dr. Diana Baumrind, who created the parenting styles/model of parental control, says you can’t achieve the parenting style that has the ‘best’ outcomes for children without an occasional spank.

So in this episode we dig pretty deeply into what makes up the parenting styles, and what Dr. Baumrind and others found about the effectiveness of these styles, and what impacts they had on children. (And I have to warn you now, the samples sizes we’re looking at to ‘prove’ that authoritative is the best parenting style are going to make your stomach churn.)

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/parentingstyles/

#ParentingStyles #AuthoritativeParenting #GentleParenting #ConsciousParenting #PositiveDiscipline #RespectfulParenting #ParentingPodcast #ParentingTips #RaisingKids #EffectiveParenting #ParentingMyths #ParentingAdvice #MindfulParenting #PeacefulParenting #ParentingMistakes #ModernParenting]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/62ba5842bb9f05c8dc13523e0bdbc776.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='49810000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3264</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030415/authoritative-isnt-the-best-parenting-style.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030415/authoritative-isnt-the-best-parenting-style.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home with Toko-pa Turner</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/belonging-remembering-ourselves-home-with-toko-pa-turner-1788573898/33030416</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280492</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 17 Apr 2022 22:00:20 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[With her book Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home, Toko-pa Turner talks about the disconnection we feel from others, as well as from our own selves, because of the experiences we’ve had in our childhood. While Toko-pa’s childhood was traumatic by any definition, even those of us who didn’t experience severe trauma were told - either verbally or non-verbally: 

You’re not enough. 
You’re not good enough. 

Or even: You’re too much.

And we shut off that part of us, whatever it was. Our sense of joy, our creativity, our need for autonomy. We set aside those needs so we could be accepted by our family, whose love we craved more than anything in the world.

But that doesn’t mean we need to always live our lives in this way. We can accept the pain and suffering we’ve experienced, and incorporate that into new, more whole ways of being in the world. 

A big part of this is finding a new relationship with our needs - seeing them, understanding them, being willing to articulate them. Being willing to ask for help in meeting our needs - from our children, our partners, and our communities. 

Toko-pa points out that our culture teaches us that the giver is in the position of strength; they are rich and secure and don’t need anyone’s help. The receiver is the weak, poor, needy one (the whole thing smacks of femininity, doesn’t it?). So to be in the position of strength we give and give and give until we don’t have anything left.

But we have needs too, and we deserve to have these met, and to invite others to help us meet them - and this episode helps us to get started.

I want to remind you of a couple of upcoming opportunities if you see that your own needs are not being met right now.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/belonging/]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[With her book Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home, Toko-pa Turner talks about the disconnection we feel from others, as well as from our own selves, because of the experiences we’ve had in our childhood. While Toko-pa’s childhood was traumatic by any definition, even those of us who didn’t experience severe trauma were told - either verbally or non-verbally: 

You’re not enough. 
You’re not good enough. 

Or even: You’re too much.

And we shut off that part of us, whatever it was. Our sense of joy, our creativity, our need for autonomy. We set aside those needs so we could be accepted by our family, whose love we craved more than anything in the world.

But that doesn’t mean we need to always live our lives in this way. We can accept the pain and suffering we’ve experienced, and incorporate that into new, more whole ways of being in the world. 

A big part of this is finding a new relationship with our needs - seeing them, understanding them, being willing to articulate them. Being willing to ask for help in meeting our needs - from our children, our partners, and our communities. 

Toko-pa points out that our culture teaches us that the giver is in the position of strength; they are rich and secure and don’t need anyone’s help. The receiver is the weak, poor, needy one (the whole thing smacks of femininity, doesn’t it?). So to be in the position of strength we give and give and give until we don’t have anything left.

But we have needs too, and we deserve to have these met, and to invite others to help us meet them - and this episode helps us to get started.

I want to remind you of a couple of upcoming opportunities if you see that your own needs are not being met right now.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/belonging/]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/05abea6fd3c295c1c7c6eb135e45d76e.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='62750000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >4112</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030416/belonging-remembering-ourselves-home-with-toko-pa-turner.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030416/belonging-remembering-ourselves-home-with-toko-pa-turner.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Preparing for the afterbirth with Renee Reina</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/preparing-for-the-afterbirth-with-renee-reina-1788573898/33030417</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280388</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Tue, 05 Apr 2022 06:00:06 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[I don’t know about you, but I spent a LOT of time thinking about my birth plan before Carys was born. I mean, that thing went through multiple iterations as I read new books about the birth process and thought about what I wanted mine to be like.

And I got lucky; we didn’t stray too far from the plan (except that that whole ‘urge to push’ thing? Well I never felt that. It seemed like she was quite happy where she was. Perhaps that explains why she enjoys being wrapped in fluffy blankets so much?)

So I put all this effort into what the Big Day would be like, and practically zero into what life would be like afterward. 

I mean, we got the nursery ready without realizing that she wasn’t going to spend any time in it at all for the first three months.

And the whole visitors thing - well that didn’t even cross my mind.

I guess I just assumed that people would come and visit, because that’s what people do after you have a baby.

But most of the time I didn’t want visitors! 

I spent a good chunk of the first 10 days in tears. 

(In fact my husband and I had a mini-celebration at bedtime on the 10th day because it was the first time I hadn’t cried since she was born.)

Sometimes I was able to get dressed and greet people…other times I was curled up in bed crying while my husband did the entertaining.

The idea of saying “no visitors yet please” simply didn’t cross my mind.

That’s what we discuss in today’s episode with Renee Reina of The Mom Room. She was lucky enough to have her Mom living close by when she had her baby, who became her gatekeeper - friends and family would check in with Renee’s Mom before coming over.

Renee was able to create the calm, peaceful environment at home that she wanted to bring baby into - and re-engage with the world on her own terms, when she was ready.

In this episode we talk about how to make those early days of motherhood work for you and your family - no matter what social conventions say are the right things to do.

Those first weeks at home may be the hardest you’ll ever experience
If you’re expecting a baby or have one under the age of one, the Right From The Start course is here to help. I run it with the amazing Hannah and Kelty of Upbringing, who bring a whole lot of expertise and training on respectful parenting, along with expertise on raising siblings and ‘spirited’ children, in addition to the scientific research on these topics that you expect from me.

In the course we’ll give you concrete strategies to:
Get the essential sleep you (all) need
Create a secure attachment & navigate big feelings
Support gross motor development & independent play (freeing up time for you!)
Prepare for and thrive with siblings
And so much more!

Parents who have taken the course tell us that there’s nothing else like it available: this is the only course that helps you support baby’s development, while holding your needs as equally important, and helping you to meet these as well.

You can find all the references mentioned in this interview at https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/momroom/]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[I don’t know about you, but I spent a LOT of time thinking about my birth plan before Carys was born. I mean, that thing went through multiple iterations as I read new books about the birth process and thought about what I wanted mine to be like.

And I got lucky; we didn’t stray too far from the plan (except that that whole ‘urge to push’ thing? Well I never felt that. It seemed like she was quite happy where she was. Perhaps that explains why she enjoys being wrapped in fluffy blankets so much?)

So I put all this effort into what the Big Day would be like, and practically zero into what life would be like afterward. 

I mean, we got the nursery ready without realizing that she wasn’t going to spend any time in it at all for the first three months.

And the whole visitors thing - well that didn’t even cross my mind.

I guess I just assumed that people would come and visit, because that’s what people do after you have a baby.

But most of the time I didn’t want visitors! 

I spent a good chunk of the first 10 days in tears. 

(In fact my husband and I had a mini-celebration at bedtime on the 10th day because it was the first time I hadn’t cried since she was born.)

Sometimes I was able to get dressed and greet people…other times I was curled up in bed crying while my husband did the entertaining.

The idea of saying “no visitors yet please” simply didn’t cross my mind.

That’s what we discuss in today’s episode with Renee Reina of The Mom Room. She was lucky enough to have her Mom living close by when she had her baby, who became her gatekeeper - friends and family would check in with Renee’s Mom before coming over.

Renee was able to create the calm, peaceful environment at home that she wanted to bring baby into - and re-engage with the world on her own terms, when she was ready.

In this episode we talk about how to make those early days of motherhood work for you and your family - no matter what social conventions say are the right things to do.

Those first weeks at home may be the hardest you’ll ever experience
If you’re expecting a baby or have one under the age of one, the Right From The Start course is here to help. I run it with the amazing Hannah and Kelty of Upbringing, who bring a whole lot of expertise and training on respectful parenting, along with expertise on raising siblings and ‘spirited’ children, in addition to the scientific research on these topics that you expect from me.

In the course we’ll give you concrete strategies to:
Get the essential sleep you (all) need
Create a secure attachment & navigate big feelings
Support gross motor development & independent play (freeing up time for you!)
Prepare for and thrive with siblings
And so much more!

Parents who have taken the course tell us that there’s nothing else like it available: this is the only course that helps you support baby’s development, while holding your needs as equally important, and helping you to meet these as well.

You can find all the references mentioned in this interview at https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/momroom/]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/cf06bed0c7eccea359fd8218fea1ea7c.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='44360000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2907</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030417/preparing-for-the-afterbirth-with-renee-reina.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030417/preparing-for-the-afterbirth-with-renee-reina.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Everything you need to know about sleep training</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/everything-you-need-to-know-about-sleep-training-1788573898/33030418</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280441</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 27 Mar 2022 22:00:14 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[We\'ve already covered a couple of episodes on sleep, including the cultural issues associated with sleep, then more recently we talked with Dr. Chris Winter about his book The Rested Child where we looked at sleep issues in older children.

But if you have a young child who isn\'t sleeping well, from the baby stage all the way up to about preschool, this episode is for you! My guest is Macall Gordon, senior lecturer in the Department of Psychology at Antioch University Seattle, and who has studied young children\'s sleep for 20 years. She\'s particularly interested in the intersection between children\'s temperament and their sleep, and how parents of the children she calls \'little livewires\' can support these children so everyone gets more sleep.

If you have questions about sleep training - particularly when and how to do it - this episode is for you!

And if you\'re expecting a baby or have one under the age of one (whether this is your first or not!) you might be interested in the Right From The Start course, which is designed to help you get things right for you from the start. We go in-depth on understanding topics like sleep, feeding, physical, mental, and emotional development, and more - both for baby and for you! 

Get all the (research-backed, of course) information you need, plus a supportive community and four group coaching calls during the 8-week course. Enrollment is open from April 3-13, and we start together on Monday April 18. Click the picture below to learn more!]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[We\'ve already covered a couple of episodes on sleep, including the cultural issues associated with sleep, then more recently we talked with Dr. Chris Winter about his book The Rested Child where we looked at sleep issues in older children.

But if you have a young child who isn\'t sleeping well, from the baby stage all the way up to about preschool, this episode is for you! My guest is Macall Gordon, senior lecturer in the Department of Psychology at Antioch University Seattle, and who has studied young children\'s sleep for 20 years. She\'s particularly interested in the intersection between children\'s temperament and their sleep, and how parents of the children she calls \'little livewires\' can support these children so everyone gets more sleep.

If you have questions about sleep training - particularly when and how to do it - this episode is for you!

And if you\'re expecting a baby or have one under the age of one (whether this is your first or not!) you might be interested in the Right From The Start course, which is designed to help you get things right for you from the start. We go in-depth on understanding topics like sleep, feeding, physical, mental, and emotional development, and more - both for baby and for you! 

Get all the (research-backed, of course) information you need, plus a supportive community and four group coaching calls during the 8-week course. Enrollment is open from April 3-13, and we start together on Monday April 18. Click the picture below to learn more!]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/b54a48e664da544f6bc09bda9f629f80.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='56530000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3759</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030418/everything-you-need-to-know-about-sleep-training.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030418/everything-you-need-to-know-about-sleep-training.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >The Alphabet Rockers with Kaitlin McGaw and Tommy Shepherd</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/the-alphabet-rockers-with-kaitlin-mcgaw-and-tommy-shepherd-1788573898/33030419</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280420</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 21 Mar 2022 08:00:11 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[The band The Alphabet Rockers consists of lead members Kaitlin McGaw and Tommy Shepherd, and a multi-racial group of children who are also involved in writing and performing. They write about their real lived experiences and their desire to live in a world where everyone belongs.

Kaitlin and Tommy are actually fellows at the Othering and Belonging Institute, run by Dr. jon powell, whose work I really respect and whom we interviewed in the episode on othering. 

They also do work in schools - in an hour-long program they work with a class to compose a song, which gives children the experience not just of songwriting, but of truly being heard and having their ideas respected.

Kaitlin and Tommy have now written a children\'s book called You Are Not Alone, which we discussed in the episode - along with a host of other juicy topics related to parenting...and racism...and White supremacy...]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[The band The Alphabet Rockers consists of lead members Kaitlin McGaw and Tommy Shepherd, and a multi-racial group of children who are also involved in writing and performing. They write about their real lived experiences and their desire to live in a world where everyone belongs.

Kaitlin and Tommy are actually fellows at the Othering and Belonging Institute, run by Dr. jon powell, whose work I really respect and whom we interviewed in the episode on othering. 

They also do work in schools - in an hour-long program they work with a class to compose a song, which gives children the experience not just of songwriting, but of truly being heard and having their ideas respected.

Kaitlin and Tommy have now written a children\'s book called You Are Not Alone, which we discussed in the episode - along with a host of other juicy topics related to parenting...and racism...and White supremacy...]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/a55e4812d503382795db113ccc797bf0.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='41610000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2726</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030419/the-alphabet-rockers-with-kaitlin-mcgaw-and-tommy-shepherd.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030419/the-alphabet-rockers-with-kaitlin-mcgaw-and-tommy-shepherd.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to avoid passing on an eating disorder to our child with Dr. Shiri Sadeh-Sharvit</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-avoid-passing-on-an-eating-disorder-to-our-child-with-dr-shiri-sadeh-sharvit-1788573898/33030420</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280524</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 06 Mar 2022 23:00:06 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[This episode is a continuation of the series on the intersection of children and food. We\'ve also heard from Dr. Lindo Bacon on busting myths about fat, Dr. Michael Goran on how sugar affects our children, Dr. Karen Throsby with a more high-level view on the sugar topic, and Ellyn Satter on her Division of Responsibility approach. 
 
My guest in this episode, Dr. Shiri Sadeh-Sharvit, co-author with Dr. James Lock of Parents with Eating Disorders: An Intervention Guide. The book is written for professionals but it\'s short and very approachable and may be beneficial for parents who are navigating disordered eating as well.
 
In the episode we discuss:
• The impacts of disordered eating on children\'s health and wellbeing (which were more extensive than even I had realized)
• The ways that disordered eating impact our parenting
• How parents can begin to heal so these patterns don\'t get passed down to the next generation

For links to resources mentioned in this interview, go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/eatingdisorders/]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[This episode is a continuation of the series on the intersection of children and food. We\'ve also heard from Dr. Lindo Bacon on busting myths about fat, Dr. Michael Goran on how sugar affects our children, Dr. Karen Throsby with a more high-level view on the sugar topic, and Ellyn Satter on her Division of Responsibility approach. 
 
My guest in this episode, Dr. Shiri Sadeh-Sharvit, co-author with Dr. James Lock of Parents with Eating Disorders: An Intervention Guide. The book is written for professionals but it\'s short and very approachable and may be beneficial for parents who are navigating disordered eating as well.
 
In the episode we discuss:
• The impacts of disordered eating on children\'s health and wellbeing (which were more extensive than even I had realized)
• The ways that disordered eating impact our parenting
• How parents can begin to heal so these patterns don\'t get passed down to the next generation

For links to resources mentioned in this interview, go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/eatingdisorders/]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/a1e0afb947272e18e510d9748c031bcc.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='56900000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3728</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030420/how-to-avoid-passing-on-an-eating-disorder-to-our-child-with-dr-shiri-sadeh-sharvit.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030420/how-to-avoid-passing-on-an-eating-disorder-to-our-child-with-dr-shiri-sadeh-sharvit.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Why are you always so angry?</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/why-are-you-always-so-angry-1788573898/33030421</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280445</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 20 Feb 2022 23:00:31 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[One day Iris took her daughter to the park, with enough snacks with for both of them. When Iris got hungry, she asked her daughter to share some of the food - but her daughter refused. Iris knows that hunger is a factor that dramatically narrows her Window of Tolerance and makes it more likely that she’ll snap at her child’s behavior, so she asked again for food and again her daughter refused.

Then out of nowhere a crow swooped down and tried to steal some of the food, causing the whole lot to fall on the ground - and Iris exploded. She was so angry that she felt a hot energy coming from her gut, and her daughter is standing in the park with tears flooding down her face, because Iris yelled at her.

And then, of course, the guilt and shame spiral begins: “What am I doing? Why am I so angry? And why can’t I stop?”

Now, Iris is in a very different place. She’s not perfect, of course - none of us are. But even Iris, the raised-Catholic-and-prone-to-unworthiness-and-guilt-tripping specialist, has found a different path. 

She no longer has to convince herself that she’s worthy of having her needs met - she knows she is, and she holds her own needs with equal care as her daughter’s needs.

Because her needs are met on a regular basis, she’s able to respond to her daughter’s age-appropriate difficult behavior with compassion and empathy.

And because she’s able to do this most of the time, she doesn’t need to get into the guilt and shame spiral nearly as often. (And on the few occasions when it does still happen, she knows how to treat herself with compassion as well, instead of beating herself up for screwing up.)

Do you want to make this kind of shift in your own life? Do you often feel triggered by your child’s behavior? My Taming Your Triggers workshop, which has helped thousands of parents to not just remember a new script for the difficult moments, but to truly take on a new way of being in their relationships with their children - just like Iris has done.]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[One day Iris took her daughter to the park, with enough snacks with for both of them. When Iris got hungry, she asked her daughter to share some of the food - but her daughter refused. Iris knows that hunger is a factor that dramatically narrows her Window of Tolerance and makes it more likely that she’ll snap at her child’s behavior, so she asked again for food and again her daughter refused.

Then out of nowhere a crow swooped down and tried to steal some of the food, causing the whole lot to fall on the ground - and Iris exploded. She was so angry that she felt a hot energy coming from her gut, and her daughter is standing in the park with tears flooding down her face, because Iris yelled at her.

And then, of course, the guilt and shame spiral begins: “What am I doing? Why am I so angry? And why can’t I stop?”

Now, Iris is in a very different place. She’s not perfect, of course - none of us are. But even Iris, the raised-Catholic-and-prone-to-unworthiness-and-guilt-tripping specialist, has found a different path. 

She no longer has to convince herself that she’s worthy of having her needs met - she knows she is, and she holds her own needs with equal care as her daughter’s needs.

Because her needs are met on a regular basis, she’s able to respond to her daughter’s age-appropriate difficult behavior with compassion and empathy.

And because she’s able to do this most of the time, she doesn’t need to get into the guilt and shame spiral nearly as often. (And on the few occasions when it does still happen, she knows how to treat herself with compassion as well, instead of beating herself up for screwing up.)

Do you want to make this kind of shift in your own life? Do you often feel triggered by your child’s behavior? My Taming Your Triggers workshop, which has helped thousands of parents to not just remember a new script for the difficult moments, but to truly take on a new way of being in their relationships with their children - just like Iris has done.]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/d95d30c5cb39eb44ca770a1c5a5ddb51.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='59260000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3883</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030421/why-are-you-always-so-angry.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030421/why-are-you-always-so-angry.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Is spanking a child really so bad?</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/is-spanking-a-child-really-so-bad-1788573898/33030422</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280452</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 06 Feb 2022 23:00:04 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[I’ve been thinking about producing this episode for several years now, and I always wished I wouldn’t need to do it. Then every few months I’d see a post in an online community saying something like “Is spanking really that bad? I was spanked and I turned out fine” and I knew that one day I’d have to do an episode on it - so here it is.

My guest, Professor Andrew Grogan-Kaylor, has studied and written extensively about physical punishment of children, and believes spanking should be considered an Adverse Childhood Experience (which is a marker of severe trauma). I mean, if you think about it, we are actually talking about physical abuse here: hitting another human being. We only call it spanking because it’s supposed to be controlled and as punishment for an infraction. But if my husband were to hit me in a controlled way as punishment for something I’d done wrong, would we still call it spanking? (And as Dr. Grogan-Kaylor notes, if we’re spanking our child we’re almost by definition not doing it in a completely controlled way, since we’re doing it because we’re frustrated and/or angry.)

In the episode we also discuss how, due to the way that a quirk in one researcher’s agenda aligned with changes in ethical rules governing experiments, that there’s actually scientific evidence from randomized controlled trials to support the efficacy of spanking at changing children’s behavior to make it acceptable to their parents! Now the rules have changed and wouldn’t permit spanking during an experiment, it isn’t possible to generate evidence against spanking. So advocates of spanking (and yes, there are some!) can honestly say that there is evidence of the highest quality in favor of spanking, and no evidence of that quality against it.

And of course we have to ask ourselves: is compliance what we really want? Our instinctive response to that question might be “Yes! I do want flipping compliance - and I want it now!” But I know many parents listening to the show have a goal to raise children who speak up when they see injustice, and who are internally motivated to do the right thing…and unfortunately focusing on making children’s behavior comply with our wishes works against that.

But that doesn’t mean the alternative is letting our child rule the roost. There are ways to get your needs met and also meet your child’s needs, without spanking, threatening to spank, punishing, giving Time Outs, withholding privileges, or any other tools like this. 

If you’re reacting in big ways (spanking, yelling, frustration, etc….) to your child’s difficult behavior right now, I invite you to join my Taming Your Triggers workshop. We’ll help you learn the real reasons why you’re feeling triggered (which aren’t really about your child’s behavior!), and what you can do to meet your needs - and your child’s needs as well. Enrollment will open on Wednesday February 23rd 2022, and sliding scale pricing is available. Follow the link below to learn more about the 10-week Taming Your Triggers workshop. (Shhhhh…if you sign up for the waitlist, I’ll send you a coupon when we open enrollment next week.)

If you’d like to learn more in the meantime, I’ll host a FREE masterclass: How to tame your triggers around your child’s difficult behavior (without stuffing down your feelings and pretending you aren’t angry!) on Saturday February 12th 2022 from 10-11:30am Pacific (if you register, we’ll send a replay in case you can’t join live but you will miss the in-person Q&A, coaching of one lucky parent, and a giveaway…).

We’ll look at the real reasons why you feel triggered by your child’s behavior, how to navigate these situations more effectively, and how to repair your relationship with your child on the fewer occasions when you are still triggered.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/spanking]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[I’ve been thinking about producing this episode for several years now, and I always wished I wouldn’t need to do it. Then every few months I’d see a post in an online community saying something like “Is spanking really that bad? I was spanked and I turned out fine” and I knew that one day I’d have to do an episode on it - so here it is.

My guest, Professor Andrew Grogan-Kaylor, has studied and written extensively about physical punishment of children, and believes spanking should be considered an Adverse Childhood Experience (which is a marker of severe trauma). I mean, if you think about it, we are actually talking about physical abuse here: hitting another human being. We only call it spanking because it’s supposed to be controlled and as punishment for an infraction. But if my husband were to hit me in a controlled way as punishment for something I’d done wrong, would we still call it spanking? (And as Dr. Grogan-Kaylor notes, if we’re spanking our child we’re almost by definition not doing it in a completely controlled way, since we’re doing it because we’re frustrated and/or angry.)

In the episode we also discuss how, due to the way that a quirk in one researcher’s agenda aligned with changes in ethical rules governing experiments, that there’s actually scientific evidence from randomized controlled trials to support the efficacy of spanking at changing children’s behavior to make it acceptable to their parents! Now the rules have changed and wouldn’t permit spanking during an experiment, it isn’t possible to generate evidence against spanking. So advocates of spanking (and yes, there are some!) can honestly say that there is evidence of the highest quality in favor of spanking, and no evidence of that quality against it.

And of course we have to ask ourselves: is compliance what we really want? Our instinctive response to that question might be “Yes! I do want flipping compliance - and I want it now!” But I know many parents listening to the show have a goal to raise children who speak up when they see injustice, and who are internally motivated to do the right thing…and unfortunately focusing on making children’s behavior comply with our wishes works against that.

But that doesn’t mean the alternative is letting our child rule the roost. There are ways to get your needs met and also meet your child’s needs, without spanking, threatening to spank, punishing, giving Time Outs, withholding privileges, or any other tools like this. 

If you’re reacting in big ways (spanking, yelling, frustration, etc….) to your child’s difficult behavior right now, I invite you to join my Taming Your Triggers workshop. We’ll help you learn the real reasons why you’re feeling triggered (which aren’t really about your child’s behavior!), and what you can do to meet your needs - and your child’s needs as well. Enrollment will open on Wednesday February 23rd 2022, and sliding scale pricing is available. Follow the link below to learn more about the 10-week Taming Your Triggers workshop. (Shhhhh…if you sign up for the waitlist, I’ll send you a coupon when we open enrollment next week.)

If you’d like to learn more in the meantime, I’ll host a FREE masterclass: How to tame your triggers around your child’s difficult behavior (without stuffing down your feelings and pretending you aren’t angry!) on Saturday February 12th 2022 from 10-11:30am Pacific (if you register, we’ll send a replay in case you can’t join live but you will miss the in-person Q&A, coaching of one lucky parent, and a giveaway…).

We’ll look at the real reasons why you feel triggered by your child’s behavior, how to navigate these situations more effectively, and how to repair your relationship with your child on the fewer occasions when you are still triggered.

For links to references mentioned in this episode, go to 
https://yourparentingmojo.com/spanking]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/e4a166365453acafe66ab95be64b3955.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='54480000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3570</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030422/is-spanking-a-child-really-so-bad.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030422/is-spanking-a-child-really-so-bad.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >No Set Bedtime with Gila and Katherine</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/no-set-bedtime-with-gila-and-katherine-1788573898/33030423</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280455</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 30 Jan 2022 23:00:22 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[When I interviewed Dr. Chris Winters last year, I described how we’ve been using a No Set Bedtime method with our daughter Carys. He used it with his children starting in the Elementary years, and his eyes nearly fell out of his head when I told him we’d been using it since Carys was about three.

 In the email about the Dr. Winters interview I asked any listeners who w
anted to learn more about this method to be in touch, so in this episode we’ll meet listeners Katherine and Gila. Katherine’s daughter is three and Gila’s son is seven, and in this episode I explain the No Set Bedtime approach and then they pepper me with questions about how to make it work in their families. 

We recorded our conversation back in November 2021, and in January I followed up with them to see how it’s going. I share their feedback and my ideas on what’s going well and what they might adjust.

https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/nosetbedtime/]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[When I interviewed Dr. Chris Winters last year, I described how we’ve been using a No Set Bedtime method with our daughter Carys. He used it with his children starting in the Elementary years, and his eyes nearly fell out of his head when I told him we’d been using it since Carys was about three.

 In the email about the Dr. Winters interview I asked any listeners who w
anted to learn more about this method to be in touch, so in this episode we’ll meet listeners Katherine and Gila. Katherine’s daughter is three and Gila’s son is seven, and in this episode I explain the No Set Bedtime approach and then they pepper me with questions about how to make it work in their families. 

We recorded our conversation back in November 2021, and in January I followed up with them to see how it’s going. I share their feedback and my ideas on what’s going well and what they might adjust.

https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/nosetbedtime/]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/2c3ed8538c68781bf4b39736c95f319d.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='61110000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >4004</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030423/no-set-bedtime-with-gila-and-katherine.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030423/no-set-bedtime-with-gila-and-katherine.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Reparenting Ourselves to create Empathy in the World</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/reparenting-ourselves-to-create-empathy-in-the-world-1788573898/33030424</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280535</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Tue, 25 Jan 2022 16:24:44 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[In this episode we hear from parent Amy, who is a White parent married to a Black man raising four biracial children in Colorado. Amy has been on quite a journey to explore her role as a descendant of Puritans who came to the United States looking for religious freedom on her father’s side, and of Irish Catholics on her mother’s side. She sees how her parents were able to get advanced education and a loan to buy a house and start a business, and that from the outside they looked like a pretty happy family.

But behind closed doors, things were not so pretty - they were actually chaotic and volatile. Amy was an intense, spirited child and her parents didn’t have the tools they needed to meet her needs. She learned to use her intellect to protect herself, and projected an image of having her stuff together - a habit that she then continued as a parent, as she projected a Supermom-type image. Our culture rewards us for looking like we’re keeping it together, even when everything’s falling apart inside.

So Amy is a deep believer in dismantling patriarchy (she actually wanted to do this on Wall Street!) and in treating people with respect, but in a sleep-deprived moment after her fourth baby was born she broke up a squabble between two of her older children by pulling them roughly apart and yelled at the older one: “Why did you do that?” (a question for which of course there’s no answer). 

She saw the terrified look on her daughter’s face which brought back the visceral fear she felt at her own parents’ explosive feelings and felt so much pain that she, Amy - the believer in breaking down traditional power structures and treating people with respect - had caused this kind of fear in her own child.

And of course it seemed like the things that really needed to change were her partner, who should stop doing obnoxious things, and her children, who were pushing each other’s buttons and fighting and leaving disgusting blobs of oatmeal on the floor for her to step in with bare feet when she came downstairs in the morning with a baby in her arms that would make her lose her shit before the day even got started.

Over the last few months Amy and her children have been learning new tools to be in right relationship with each other. It started with learning that Amy did herself, but she shared each idea with her children so they could practice them together. 

Amy is now reparenting herself, in a way, so she can be a different sort of parent to her own children - who now empathize with each other’s struggles, and actively try to support each other in difficult moments rather than throwing more fuel on the fire. Of course all of this is intimately linked to the reconciliation and healing that Amy wants to see in her relationships with Black and Indigenous people in her life and on the land where she lives.

For links mentioned in this episode, go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/amy/]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[In this episode we hear from parent Amy, who is a White parent married to a Black man raising four biracial children in Colorado. Amy has been on quite a journey to explore her role as a descendant of Puritans who came to the United States looking for religious freedom on her father’s side, and of Irish Catholics on her mother’s side. She sees how her parents were able to get advanced education and a loan to buy a house and start a business, and that from the outside they looked like a pretty happy family.

But behind closed doors, things were not so pretty - they were actually chaotic and volatile. Amy was an intense, spirited child and her parents didn’t have the tools they needed to meet her needs. She learned to use her intellect to protect herself, and projected an image of having her stuff together - a habit that she then continued as a parent, as she projected a Supermom-type image. Our culture rewards us for looking like we’re keeping it together, even when everything’s falling apart inside.

So Amy is a deep believer in dismantling patriarchy (she actually wanted to do this on Wall Street!) and in treating people with respect, but in a sleep-deprived moment after her fourth baby was born she broke up a squabble between two of her older children by pulling them roughly apart and yelled at the older one: “Why did you do that?” (a question for which of course there’s no answer). 

She saw the terrified look on her daughter’s face which brought back the visceral fear she felt at her own parents’ explosive feelings and felt so much pain that she, Amy - the believer in breaking down traditional power structures and treating people with respect - had caused this kind of fear in her own child.

And of course it seemed like the things that really needed to change were her partner, who should stop doing obnoxious things, and her children, who were pushing each other’s buttons and fighting and leaving disgusting blobs of oatmeal on the floor for her to step in with bare feet when she came downstairs in the morning with a baby in her arms that would make her lose her shit before the day even got started.

Over the last few months Amy and her children have been learning new tools to be in right relationship with each other. It started with learning that Amy did herself, but she shared each idea with her children so they could practice them together. 

Amy is now reparenting herself, in a way, so she can be a different sort of parent to her own children - who now empathize with each other’s struggles, and actively try to support each other in difficult moments rather than throwing more fuel on the fire. Of course all of this is intimately linked to the reconciliation and healing that Amy wants to see in her relationships with Black and Indigenous people in her life and on the land where she lives.

For links mentioned in this episode, go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/amy/]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/53c560205dc6eb0af830dc51435529f2.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='69700000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >4567</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030424/reparenting-ourselves-to-create-empathy-in-the-world.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030424/reparenting-ourselves-to-create-empathy-in-the-world.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Sugar Rush with Dr. Karen Throsby</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/sugar-rush-with-dr-karen-throsby-1788573898/33030425</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280421</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 10 Jan 2022 16:00:07 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[This episode continues our conversation on the topic of children and food. A few months ago we heard from Dr. Lindo Bacon about how the things we’ve learned about obesity might not actually be the whole story . Then we talked with Ellyn Satter about the approach she devised called Division of Responsibility , which holds the parent/caregiver responsible for the what, when, and where of eating and the child responsible for whether and how much.

We followed that with a conversation with Dr. Michael Goran, a world-renowned expert on the impact of sugar on our bodies , and specifically on children’s bodies – and co-author of the book SugarProof. While the research seems to indicate that consuming large amounts of sugar isn’t necessarily the best thing for us, when I dug into the original papers that form the backbone of SugarProof I found that the results didn’t always seem to be quite as large as the book indicated.

In this episode we take another look at sugar – this time from the perspective of sociologist Dr. Karen Throsby. Dr. Thorsby received her BA in English Language and Literature from Lincoln College, Oxford, and a MSc in Gender and later a Ph.D from the London School of Economics. She is currently an Associate Professor in Gender Studies at the University of Leeds, and is writing a book entitled Sugar Rush: Science, Obesity, and the Social Life of Sugar. For the book, she is analyzing over 500 UK newspaper articles about sugar, as well as policy documents, scientific publications, popular science articles, self-help literature, and documentaries. She wants to understand what happens when we demonize sugar as ‘public enemy number one,’ and along with it the fat body. She doesn’t aim to determine the ‘truth’ about sugar or offer prescriptions about what people should eat, but instead think about how this debate relates to how scientific knowledge is produced, validated, and appropriated, panics about health and body size, the role of generation, gender, race, and class, and the lived inequalities associated with food.

For the full transcript of this episode, you can go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/sugarrush/]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[This episode continues our conversation on the topic of children and food. A few months ago we heard from Dr. Lindo Bacon about how the things we’ve learned about obesity might not actually be the whole story . Then we talked with Ellyn Satter about the approach she devised called Division of Responsibility , which holds the parent/caregiver responsible for the what, when, and where of eating and the child responsible for whether and how much.

We followed that with a conversation with Dr. Michael Goran, a world-renowned expert on the impact of sugar on our bodies , and specifically on children’s bodies – and co-author of the book SugarProof. While the research seems to indicate that consuming large amounts of sugar isn’t necessarily the best thing for us, when I dug into the original papers that form the backbone of SugarProof I found that the results didn’t always seem to be quite as large as the book indicated.

In this episode we take another look at sugar – this time from the perspective of sociologist Dr. Karen Throsby. Dr. Thorsby received her BA in English Language and Literature from Lincoln College, Oxford, and a MSc in Gender and later a Ph.D from the London School of Economics. She is currently an Associate Professor in Gender Studies at the University of Leeds, and is writing a book entitled Sugar Rush: Science, Obesity, and the Social Life of Sugar. For the book, she is analyzing over 500 UK newspaper articles about sugar, as well as policy documents, scientific publications, popular science articles, self-help literature, and documentaries. She wants to understand what happens when we demonize sugar as ‘public enemy number one,’ and along with it the fat body. She doesn’t aim to determine the ‘truth’ about sugar or offer prescriptions about what people should eat, but instead think about how this debate relates to how scientific knowledge is produced, validated, and appropriated, panics about health and body size, the role of generation, gender, race, and class, and the lived inequalities associated with food.

For the full transcript of this episode, you can go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/sugarrush/]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/975058c47e78394317c5513e6bf3127c.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='56790000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3721</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030425/sugar-rush-with-dr-karen-throsby.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030425/sugar-rush-with-dr-karen-throsby.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Getting It Right From the Start With a New Baby</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/getting-it-right-from-the-start-with-a-new-baby-1788573898/33030426</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280503</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 25 Oct 2021 06:30:11 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[In this episode we do something we haven’t done before - talk with podcast listeners who aren’t parents yet! 

Kellie and Jon are an amazing couple living in Tennessee. Kellie is a bit of a planner (by which I mean that during her Ph.D program Jon noticed Kellie was getting stressed about when they were going to have a baby, so she led them through a four-hour planning session factoring in the baby’s birth and ages at likely dates for her to enter post-doctoral programs and fellowships and landed on February 2021 as the optimal time to conceive - so they started trying in February and she got pregnant in February!).

Jon, by contrast, is a go-with-the-flow kind of guy. He’s the kind of person who just knows everything is probably going to turn out OK without needing to worry about the details too much. He already knew Kellie was going to be a great parent, while she was much less convinced - although now she knows that babies drink milk rather than water, she’s off to a running start!

Kellie devoured all the pregnancy podcasts she could find (my favorite is the Pregnancy Podcast - host Vanessa basically does the same thing I do here at YPM for the pregnancy stage) and then moved onto the child development podcasts, which is how she found YPM - and she was drawn to the research-based information she found here.

Jon describes the whole experience as an “uncertainty sandwich” - there was a lot of uncertainty in the beginning about whether and when they’d be able to have a baby: “and then it really certain really fast!” And after that it became uncertain again as they looked to figure out what life with a baby would be like.

If you’re expecting a baby or have a child under the age of one, the Right From The Start course can help you to find the right path forward for you. We’ll help you navigate sleep, feeding, play and development, what we communicate to our babies through the ways we interact during routine activities like diapering and dressing - and so much more. 

But beyond the knowledge, you’ll also find an amazing community of like-minded parents who are on this journey with you - so you’ll feel less alone, and more able to cope with the challenges you face.

For links to resources mentioned in this interview and the full transcript, please go to: https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/kelliejon]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[In this episode we do something we haven’t done before - talk with podcast listeners who aren’t parents yet! 

Kellie and Jon are an amazing couple living in Tennessee. Kellie is a bit of a planner (by which I mean that during her Ph.D program Jon noticed Kellie was getting stressed about when they were going to have a baby, so she led them through a four-hour planning session factoring in the baby’s birth and ages at likely dates for her to enter post-doctoral programs and fellowships and landed on February 2021 as the optimal time to conceive - so they started trying in February and she got pregnant in February!).

Jon, by contrast, is a go-with-the-flow kind of guy. He’s the kind of person who just knows everything is probably going to turn out OK without needing to worry about the details too much. He already knew Kellie was going to be a great parent, while she was much less convinced - although now she knows that babies drink milk rather than water, she’s off to a running start!

Kellie devoured all the pregnancy podcasts she could find (my favorite is the Pregnancy Podcast - host Vanessa basically does the same thing I do here at YPM for the pregnancy stage) and then moved onto the child development podcasts, which is how she found YPM - and she was drawn to the research-based information she found here.

Jon describes the whole experience as an “uncertainty sandwich” - there was a lot of uncertainty in the beginning about whether and when they’d be able to have a baby: “and then it really certain really fast!” And after that it became uncertain again as they looked to figure out what life with a baby would be like.

If you’re expecting a baby or have a child under the age of one, the Right From The Start course can help you to find the right path forward for you. We’ll help you navigate sleep, feeding, play and development, what we communicate to our babies through the ways we interact during routine activities like diapering and dressing - and so much more. 

But beyond the knowledge, you’ll also find an amazing community of like-minded parents who are on this journey with you - so you’ll feel less alone, and more able to cope with the challenges you face.

For links to resources mentioned in this interview and the full transcript, please go to: https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/kelliejon]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/79ec64848a2ef9ff316a9c4845d2f1fb.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='37820000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2478</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030426/getting-it-right-from-the-start-with-a-new-baby.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030426/getting-it-right-from-the-start-with-a-new-baby.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to Support Each Unique Child\&apos;s Learning Journey</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-support-each-unique-childs-learning-journey-1788573898/33030427</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280531</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 20 Sep 2021 05:00:30 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[I hear from a lot of parents who are worried about their children’s learning. They tell me things like:

 “I want to encourage my child’s learning and creativity and confidence as a learner without solely focusing on literacy and numeracy.”

 “We’ve been in lockdown here in Melbourne for a very long time, with my older kids learning remotely, and I feel that a lot of the tasks they are given by their school are a bit … uninspiring. It’s so cool when there is something that really engages them and I’m trying to find more things like that.”

 “I am wary about the school system squashing the natural instinct to learn, as I feel it did with me. But I’m hoping we can provide the attitude and environment at home to mitigate this.”

 “What we have read about traditional schooling is a bit disheartening but something we have to embrace for now. So it is important that with the time we have outside of school we do the best we can to encourage his spark for exploration and learning.”

“My children are already in school. Even though they (and I) are happy with their school and learning so far, I would love to learn how I can support them better and help them being more motivated and stay curious. The challenges of distant-learning that we experienced during the lockdowns have highlighted that I find it difficult to be a good teacher for them and I would like to change that.”

If you could have said (or have already said!) one or more of these things yourself, then I want to introduce you to Madeline.

She describes all three of her children as ‘spirited’ (you can kind of see it in their eyes, right?!)

 When I first met her, she wanted to know that she was doing everything she could to support their intrinsic love of learning in the preschool years – and she wasn’t sure whether or not they would go to school. 

In this episode we discuss some of the Learning Explorations she’s done with them, how she became confident that she really was meeting each child’s learning needs, and what decision she ultimately made about school!

I also wanted to let you know that the Supporting Your Child’s Learning membership is now open for enrollment. We have sliding scale pricing available, and a TWO WEEK FREE TRIAL so you can experience all the amazingness of the membership before you pay a penny.

https://yourparentingmojo.com/learningmembership/]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[I hear from a lot of parents who are worried about their children’s learning. They tell me things like:

 “I want to encourage my child’s learning and creativity and confidence as a learner without solely focusing on literacy and numeracy.”

 “We’ve been in lockdown here in Melbourne for a very long time, with my older kids learning remotely, and I feel that a lot of the tasks they are given by their school are a bit … uninspiring. It’s so cool when there is something that really engages them and I’m trying to find more things like that.”

 “I am wary about the school system squashing the natural instinct to learn, as I feel it did with me. But I’m hoping we can provide the attitude and environment at home to mitigate this.”

 “What we have read about traditional schooling is a bit disheartening but something we have to embrace for now. So it is important that with the time we have outside of school we do the best we can to encourage his spark for exploration and learning.”

“My children are already in school. Even though they (and I) are happy with their school and learning so far, I would love to learn how I can support them better and help them being more motivated and stay curious. The challenges of distant-learning that we experienced during the lockdowns have highlighted that I find it difficult to be a good teacher for them and I would like to change that.”

If you could have said (or have already said!) one or more of these things yourself, then I want to introduce you to Madeline.

She describes all three of her children as ‘spirited’ (you can kind of see it in their eyes, right?!)

 When I first met her, she wanted to know that she was doing everything she could to support their intrinsic love of learning in the preschool years – and she wasn’t sure whether or not they would go to school. 

In this episode we discuss some of the Learning Explorations she’s done with them, how she became confident that she really was meeting each child’s learning needs, and what decision she ultimately made about school!

I also wanted to let you know that the Supporting Your Child’s Learning membership is now open for enrollment. We have sliding scale pricing available, and a TWO WEEK FREE TRIAL so you can experience all the amazingness of the membership before you pay a penny.

https://yourparentingmojo.com/learningmembership/]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/b27d6f2d5e537a401e6906fd76fa8948.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='46330000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3036</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030427/how-to-support-each-unique-childs-learning-journey.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030427/how-to-support-each-unique-childs-learning-journey.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >The Extended Mind with Annie Murphy Paul</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/the-extended-mind-with-annie-murphy-paul-1788573898/33030428</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280407</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 06 Sep 2021 04:00:06 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[We don’t just think with our brains.

What?!

How can that possibly be true?

I struggled to understand it myself for quite a while, until I read the fabulous English philosopher Andy Clark’s description of what happens when someone writes, which essentially involves ideas flowing down the arm and hand, through the pen and ink, across the paper, up to your eyes, and back to your brain.

The ideas don’t literally flow, of course, but the process of writing alters the process of thinking – which is why research has shown that processing traumatic memories through journaling about them is more useful just thinking about them – the act of writing about them changes our interpretation of them in a way that just thinking about them doesn’t.

The challenge with school-based learning, of course, is that it’s primarily concerned with the brain. Our task is to remember facts and ideas so we can recount them when asked about them at a later time. Children who fidget are told to sit still, when the research that Annie Murphy Paul cites in her new book The Extended Mind indicates that this instruction is entirely misplaced – fidgeting can be a way of managing excess energy, and movement can actually help us to remember things more effectively than we otherwise would.

In this episode we learn many of the different ways that we our brains interact with the outside world to learn in ways that we might never have considered up to now.

I think of this kind of learning as Full-Bodied Learning, and long before I’d read Annie’s book I had actually developed an entire module of content for the Supporting Your Child’s Learning membership on exactly this topic. In the module we extend the ideas in today’s episode to support our children in using their full bodies to learn both in school and outside of school as well.

You do have to be a member to access that specific content, but you can get a taste for similar kinds of tools that you can use with your child in the free You Are Your Child’s Best Teacher workshop which starts on Monday September 13. In the workshop you’ll:

 -Learn how to use your child’s interests as a jumping off point for deep, self-driven learning
-Show (to yourself and others!) that your child is engaged in complex, multi-faceted learning
-Reimagine what learning looks like (it can be exciting and fun, and not something you have to bribe your child to do!)
-Understand your values about learning so you can do activities that are aligned with those values
-Feel confident that you can effectively support your child’s intrinsic love of learning – whether or not your child is in school.
 

So whether you’re homeschooling or not; whether you work outside the home or not, YOU really are the person who can best support your child’s learning – mostly because you know them better than anyone else so you can help them much more effectively once you gain the skills to do that.

The workshop consists of one short email each day for five days, access to a supportive community of parents who are on the same learning journey as you, and a wrap-up masterclass at the end to bring it all together where we can chat live about your questions.

If you want to raise a child who has an intrinsic, life-long love of learning, I do hope you’ll join me in the workshop – it’s completely FREE!

Just follow this link: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/bestteacher?utm_campaign=Learning-Membership-Fall-2021&utm_medium=email&utm_content=Extended-Mind

For the full transcript and links to resources mentioned in this episode, please go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/extendedmind/]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[We don’t just think with our brains.

What?!

How can that possibly be true?

I struggled to understand it myself for quite a while, until I read the fabulous English philosopher Andy Clark’s description of what happens when someone writes, which essentially involves ideas flowing down the arm and hand, through the pen and ink, across the paper, up to your eyes, and back to your brain.

The ideas don’t literally flow, of course, but the process of writing alters the process of thinking – which is why research has shown that processing traumatic memories through journaling about them is more useful just thinking about them – the act of writing about them changes our interpretation of them in a way that just thinking about them doesn’t.

The challenge with school-based learning, of course, is that it’s primarily concerned with the brain. Our task is to remember facts and ideas so we can recount them when asked about them at a later time. Children who fidget are told to sit still, when the research that Annie Murphy Paul cites in her new book The Extended Mind indicates that this instruction is entirely misplaced – fidgeting can be a way of managing excess energy, and movement can actually help us to remember things more effectively than we otherwise would.

In this episode we learn many of the different ways that we our brains interact with the outside world to learn in ways that we might never have considered up to now.

I think of this kind of learning as Full-Bodied Learning, and long before I’d read Annie’s book I had actually developed an entire module of content for the Supporting Your Child’s Learning membership on exactly this topic. In the module we extend the ideas in today’s episode to support our children in using their full bodies to learn both in school and outside of school as well.

You do have to be a member to access that specific content, but you can get a taste for similar kinds of tools that you can use with your child in the free You Are Your Child’s Best Teacher workshop which starts on Monday September 13. In the workshop you’ll:

 -Learn how to use your child’s interests as a jumping off point for deep, self-driven learning
-Show (to yourself and others!) that your child is engaged in complex, multi-faceted learning
-Reimagine what learning looks like (it can be exciting and fun, and not something you have to bribe your child to do!)
-Understand your values about learning so you can do activities that are aligned with those values
-Feel confident that you can effectively support your child’s intrinsic love of learning – whether or not your child is in school.
 

So whether you’re homeschooling or not; whether you work outside the home or not, YOU really are the person who can best support your child’s learning – mostly because you know them better than anyone else so you can help them much more effectively once you gain the skills to do that.

The workshop consists of one short email each day for five days, access to a supportive community of parents who are on the same learning journey as you, and a wrap-up masterclass at the end to bring it all together where we can chat live about your questions.

If you want to raise a child who has an intrinsic, life-long love of learning, I do hope you’ll join me in the workshop – it’s completely FREE!

Just follow this link: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/bestteacher?utm_campaign=Learning-Membership-Fall-2021&utm_medium=email&utm_content=Extended-Mind

For the full transcript and links to resources mentioned in this episode, please go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/extendedmind/]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/0e3778ea1075b7b1ea1dc217fc25e131.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='56270000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3687</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030428/the-extended-mind-with-annie-murphy-paul.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030428/the-extended-mind-with-annie-murphy-paul.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Division of Responsibility with Ellyn Satter</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/division-of-responsibility-with-ellyn-satter-1788573898/33030429</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280462</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 15 Aug 2021 22:00:14 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Do you worry that your child isn\'t eating enough...or is eating too much?

Do you wish they would eat a more balanced diet...but don\'t want to be the Vegetable Police?

Do you find yourself in constant negotiations over your child\'s favorite snacks?

You\'re not alone!

Join me for a conversation with Ellyn Satter MS, MSSW, author of many books including Child of Mine: Feeding With Love and Good Sense. Ms. Satter developed the approach to feeding children that\'s known as Division of Responsibility, which means that the parent is responsible for the what, when, and where of eating, and the child is responsible for whether and how much.

It all sounds pretty simple, but when you\'re actually navigating eating with your child it can seem a whole lot more complicated:
- Should we worry about our child\'s eating in the long term if they won\'t eat vegetables now?
- Should we restrict access to children\'s food?
- What should we do about picky eating?

Ms. Satter helps us to understand her ideas on these important questions and much more.

For the full transcript and links to resources mentioned in this interview, visit https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/dor]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Do you worry that your child isn\'t eating enough...or is eating too much?

Do you wish they would eat a more balanced diet...but don\'t want to be the Vegetable Police?

Do you find yourself in constant negotiations over your child\'s favorite snacks?

You\'re not alone!

Join me for a conversation with Ellyn Satter MS, MSSW, author of many books including Child of Mine: Feeding With Love and Good Sense. Ms. Satter developed the approach to feeding children that\'s known as Division of Responsibility, which means that the parent is responsible for the what, when, and where of eating, and the child is responsible for whether and how much.

It all sounds pretty simple, but when you\'re actually navigating eating with your child it can seem a whole lot more complicated:
- Should we worry about our child\'s eating in the long term if they won\'t eat vegetables now?
- Should we restrict access to children\'s food?
- What should we do about picky eating?

Ms. Satter helps us to understand her ideas on these important questions and much more.

For the full transcript and links to resources mentioned in this interview, visit https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/dor]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/a71f2424aba01af37d8bb38adfbccbd4.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='55610000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3644</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030429/division-of-responsibility-with-ellyn-satter.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030429/division-of-responsibility-with-ellyn-satter.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >The Power of Healing in Community</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/the-power-of-healing-in-community-1788573898/33030430</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293844427280412</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 01 Aug 2021 22:00:09 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[When you’re learning a new skill, information is critical. Without that, it’s very difficult to make any kind of meaningful change.

But I see a parallel between learning new skills and respectful parenting: I like to say that love between parent and child is necessary but not sufficient - and that respect is the missing ingredient. With learning a new skill, knowledge is necessary - but not sufficient. 

And support is the missing ingredient.

You might remember from our conversation with Dr. Chris Niebauer a while ago that our overactive left brains tend to make up stories about our experiences to integrate these experiences into the narratives we tell about ourselves. 

If we’re “the kind of person who triumphs through adversity,” a setback will be taken in stride. If we’re “the kind of person who has been hurt,” each new individual hurt makes much more of a mark. The new experiences have to be made to fit with the framework that’s already in place.

Especially when you’re learning a skill related to difficult experiences you’ve had, your left brain wants to keep itself safe. It might tell you: “I don’t need to do this. Things aren’t that bad. I’ll just wait until later / tomorrow / next week.”

And when that happens, you need support. That support can be from a great friend, although sometimes you don’t want even your closest friends to know that you shout at or smack your child. 

Therapy can be really helpful - but it’s also really expensive.

Sometimes the thing that’s most helpful is someone who’s learning the tools alongside you (so they aren’t trying to look back and remember what it was like to be in your situation; theirs is different, but they are struggling too…) who isn’t a regular presence in your life. 

There’s no danger you’re going to run into them at the supermarket, or a kid’s birthday party.

You can actually be really honest with them and know it won’t come and bite you in the butt.

That’s what today’s guests, Marci and Elizabeth, discovered when they started working together. Separated by cultural differences, fourteen(!) time zones, and very different lives, they found common ground in their struggles and have developed a deep and lasting friendship.

If you’d like to work on taming your triggered feelings - and get help from your own Accountabuddy in the process - the Taming Your Triggers workshop is for you. Click the image below to learn more.

For the full transcript of this interview, visit https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/healingincommunity/]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[When you’re learning a new skill, information is critical. Without that, it’s very difficult to make any kind of meaningful change.

But I see a parallel between learning new skills and respectful parenting: I like to say that love between parent and child is necessary but not sufficient - and that respect is the missing ingredient. With learning a new skill, knowledge is necessary - but not sufficient. 

And support is the missing ingredient.

You might remember from our conversation with Dr. Chris Niebauer a while ago that our overactive left brains tend to make up stories about our experiences to integrate these experiences into the narratives we tell about ourselves. 

If we’re “the kind of person who triumphs through adversity,” a setback will be taken in stride. If we’re “the kind of person who has been hurt,” each new individual hurt makes much more of a mark. The new experiences have to be made to fit with the framework that’s already in place.

Especially when you’re learning a skill related to difficult experiences you’ve had, your left brain wants to keep itself safe. It might tell you: “I don’t need to do this. Things aren’t that bad. I’ll just wait until later / tomorrow / next week.”

And when that happens, you need support. That support can be from a great friend, although sometimes you don’t want even your closest friends to know that you shout at or smack your child. 

Therapy can be really helpful - but it’s also really expensive.

Sometimes the thing that’s most helpful is someone who’s learning the tools alongside you (so they aren’t trying to look back and remember what it was like to be in your situation; theirs is different, but they are struggling too…) who isn’t a regular presence in your life. 

There’s no danger you’re going to run into them at the supermarket, or a kid’s birthday party.

You can actually be really honest with them and know it won’t come and bite you in the butt.

That’s what today’s guests, Marci and Elizabeth, discovered when they started working together. Separated by cultural differences, fourteen(!) time zones, and very different lives, they found common ground in their struggles and have developed a deep and lasting friendship.

If you’d like to work on taming your triggered feelings - and get help from your own Accountabuddy in the process - the Taming Your Triggers workshop is for you. Click the image below to learn more.

For the full transcript of this interview, visit https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/healingincommunity/]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/dfd0039ded6fc8b49e90990b740be903.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='52580000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3445</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030430/the-power-of-healing-in-community.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030430/the-power-of-healing-in-community.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >From Fear-filled Conflict to Parenting as a Team</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/from-fear-filled-conflict-to-parenting-as-a-team-1788573898/33030431</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293851268190226</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 25 Apr 2021 22:00:09 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[\"You\'re doing it wrong! You\'re not asking for consent before changing the diaper!\"


In this Sharing Your Parenting Mojo episode we meet parent Nicole, who has core values related to being empathic, constantly learning, and upholding justice in the world. These awesome values came together in a difficult way when Nicole became a parent: she had a deep fear of not getting parenting right, so she was constantly reading and trying to find that one piece of information that would close the gap between her struggles and the kind of parent she wanted to be.

The stress of parenting an infant brought out a controlling side of her where she attempted to script every aspect of her (and her husband\'s) interactions with her child, thinking they had already screwed up parenting because he hadn\'t asked their child\'s consent before changing her diaper.

Nicole was raised by a single parent who had had a traumatic upbringing, and Nicole grew up sometimes feeling scared by her mother\'s oversized reactions to normal childhood behavior. She knew she wanted more for her children - but didn\'t know what to do.


Want to get a taste of what it\'s like to work with directly with me? Join the FREE Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop - we start Monday April 26! https://yourparentingmojo.com/settinglimits/


For link and resources as well the transcript of this episode, go to: https://yourparentingmojo.com/nicole/]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[\"You\'re doing it wrong! You\'re not asking for consent before changing the diaper!\"


In this Sharing Your Parenting Mojo episode we meet parent Nicole, who has core values related to being empathic, constantly learning, and upholding justice in the world. These awesome values came together in a difficult way when Nicole became a parent: she had a deep fear of not getting parenting right, so she was constantly reading and trying to find that one piece of information that would close the gap between her struggles and the kind of parent she wanted to be.

The stress of parenting an infant brought out a controlling side of her where she attempted to script every aspect of her (and her husband\'s) interactions with her child, thinking they had already screwed up parenting because he hadn\'t asked their child\'s consent before changing her diaper.

Nicole was raised by a single parent who had had a traumatic upbringing, and Nicole grew up sometimes feeling scared by her mother\'s oversized reactions to normal childhood behavior. She knew she wanted more for her children - but didn\'t know what to do.


Want to get a taste of what it\'s like to work with directly with me? Join the FREE Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop - we start Monday April 26! https://yourparentingmojo.com/settinglimits/


For link and resources as well the transcript of this episode, go to: https://yourparentingmojo.com/nicole/]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/eb632611512fc95b79f6044d3d4646a1.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='31440000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2060</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030431/from-fear-filled-conflict-to-parenting-as-a-team.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030431/from-fear-filled-conflict-to-parenting-as-a-team.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How the Things We Learned About Sex Impact Our Children</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-the-things-we-learned-about-sex-impact-our-children-1788573898/33030432</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293851268190214</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 19 Apr 2021 09:53:24 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Today we build on episodes that we’ve done in the past on talking with children about the basics of sex (so when you listen to this episode we’re assuming you’ve got the basics covered – things like using anatomically correct names for body parts and taking basic steps to prevent sexual abuse).
 

This is the first in a mini-series of episodes that digs deeper into topics related to sex. Here we talk with Charlotte Rose, co-host of the Speaking of Sex podcast by the Pleasure Mechanics, about what and how we adults learned about sex.
We talk about the shame that pretty much all of us learned to associate with sex (and how to overcome that), and what we can do to improve the chances of having sex with our partner – even if we’re feeling so tired that this currently seems out of the question.
 

We’re setting the stage here to approach sex from a less pressured, more fun perspective – which will help us in an upcoming episode to figure out what we want to discuss with our children about sex, sexuality, and pleasure.

You can find the links to resources mentioned in this episode as well as the full transcript at https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/pleasuremechanics/.]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Today we build on episodes that we’ve done in the past on talking with children about the basics of sex (so when you listen to this episode we’re assuming you’ve got the basics covered – things like using anatomically correct names for body parts and taking basic steps to prevent sexual abuse).
 

This is the first in a mini-series of episodes that digs deeper into topics related to sex. Here we talk with Charlotte Rose, co-host of the Speaking of Sex podcast by the Pleasure Mechanics, about what and how we adults learned about sex.
We talk about the shame that pretty much all of us learned to associate with sex (and how to overcome that), and what we can do to improve the chances of having sex with our partner – even if we’re feeling so tired that this currently seems out of the question.
 

We’re setting the stage here to approach sex from a less pressured, more fun perspective – which will help us in an upcoming episode to figure out what we want to discuss with our children about sex, sexuality, and pleasure.

You can find the links to resources mentioned in this episode as well as the full transcript at https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/pleasuremechanics/.]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/2bf34a0ed4acaddb2d01b74b5dedaf4a.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='50160000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3287</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030432/how-the-things-we-learned-about-sex-impact-our-children.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030432/how-the-things-we-learned-about-sex-impact-our-children.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Beyond Sex Education with Dr. Nadine Thornhill</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/beyond-sex-education-with-dr-nadine-thornhill-1788573898/33030433</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293851268190234</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 18 Apr 2021 16:00:11 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[\"Do you know what happens to your body when you get older?\"
\"Um...you get hairy in some places?\"
\"Yeah...other things happen too. We\'ll get you some books.\"

That was what I learned about sex education when I was seven - I was always grateful that I learned it from my parents (who were pretty terrified to talk about it, I think) rather than from the other kids at school. But then the topic wasn\'t mentioned again until I was about 18, with a vague reference to \"being careful\" with my first boyfriend, whom I wasn\'t even sleeping with yet.

Friends: we have to do more than this if we want our children to be able to show up in relationships as fulfilled human beings who understand what pleasure is, how to ask for it, and how to give it.

We need our children to know that sex does not have to equal intercourse, and that there are a whole host of ways to enjoy our (and each other\'s) bodies without doing this if we don\'t want to do it (when they\'re ready for it!).

And we need to help our children understand boundaries so they can protect themselves when they need to - without getting so caught up in the shame that pervades our thinking about sex. (Since the sex = shame narrative is deeply pervasive in our culture I don\'t think we can overcome it completely, but we can make a start...).

In this episode we build on our conversation with Charlotte Rose about sex for us parents to go (far) Beyond Sex Ed with sex educator Dr. Nadine Thornhill, whose direct, fun, engaging style will help you to see that you, too, can have conversations about sex and pleasure with your own children. You can find more information on Dr. Thornhill\'s work on her YouTube channel where she addresses topics from what happens if the kid walk in on parents having sex to whether first time sex always hurts, as well as on Instagram.

And don\'t forget that the FREE Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop starts Monday April 26! Five days - WAY fewer limits than you ever thought possible (without being a dreaded Permissive Parent!) - amazing shift in the level of collaboration and cooperation in your home.
Sign up now at https://yourparentingmojo.com/settinglimits/

For links and resources mentioned in this episode as well as the full transcript, you can visit https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/beyondsexed/]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[\"Do you know what happens to your body when you get older?\"
\"Um...you get hairy in some places?\"
\"Yeah...other things happen too. We\'ll get you some books.\"

That was what I learned about sex education when I was seven - I was always grateful that I learned it from my parents (who were pretty terrified to talk about it, I think) rather than from the other kids at school. But then the topic wasn\'t mentioned again until I was about 18, with a vague reference to \"being careful\" with my first boyfriend, whom I wasn\'t even sleeping with yet.

Friends: we have to do more than this if we want our children to be able to show up in relationships as fulfilled human beings who understand what pleasure is, how to ask for it, and how to give it.

We need our children to know that sex does not have to equal intercourse, and that there are a whole host of ways to enjoy our (and each other\'s) bodies without doing this if we don\'t want to do it (when they\'re ready for it!).

And we need to help our children understand boundaries so they can protect themselves when they need to - without getting so caught up in the shame that pervades our thinking about sex. (Since the sex = shame narrative is deeply pervasive in our culture I don\'t think we can overcome it completely, but we can make a start...).

In this episode we build on our conversation with Charlotte Rose about sex for us parents to go (far) Beyond Sex Ed with sex educator Dr. Nadine Thornhill, whose direct, fun, engaging style will help you to see that you, too, can have conversations about sex and pleasure with your own children. You can find more information on Dr. Thornhill\'s work on her YouTube channel where she addresses topics from what happens if the kid walk in on parents having sex to whether first time sex always hurts, as well as on Instagram.

And don\'t forget that the FREE Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop starts Monday April 26! Five days - WAY fewer limits than you ever thought possible (without being a dreaded Permissive Parent!) - amazing shift in the level of collaboration and cooperation in your home.
Sign up now at https://yourparentingmojo.com/settinglimits/

For links and resources mentioned in this episode as well as the full transcript, you can visit https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/beyondsexed/]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/cc8fd50ba8740d058718f5e2fad252cd.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='60750000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3981</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030433/beyond-sex-education-with-dr-nadine-thornhill.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030433/beyond-sex-education-with-dr-nadine-thornhill.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >What Carys wants you to know about your children\&apos;s feelings</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/what-carys-wants-you-to-know-about-your-childrens-feelings-1788573898/33030434</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293851268190218</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 11 Apr 2021 19:00:22 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[After dinner a few days ago, Carys randomly started telling us that if we want to understand some of the things she’s feeling, we should cast our minds back to when we were children and remember how we would have felt about it at the time. The conversation continued as we explored more of her feelings when she’s having difficult moments, and at some point someone (recollections differ on exactly who it was!) suggested we record a podcast episode about it.

Carys was immediately on board and wanted to do it right away, but we came back to it the next afternoon. She thinks that parents often don’t understand how their children are feeling and she’d like suggest ways to help your children when they’re behaving in a way that may seem ‘difficult’ to you.

For the full transcript of this episode and links to resources mentioned please go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/messagefromcarys/]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[After dinner a few days ago, Carys randomly started telling us that if we want to understand some of the things she’s feeling, we should cast our minds back to when we were children and remember how we would have felt about it at the time. The conversation continued as we explored more of her feelings when she’s having difficult moments, and at some point someone (recollections differ on exactly who it was!) suggested we record a podcast episode about it.

Carys was immediately on board and wanted to do it right away, but we came back to it the next afternoon. She thinks that parents often don’t understand how their children are feeling and she’d like suggest ways to help your children when they’re behaving in a way that may seem ‘difficult’ to you.

For the full transcript of this episode and links to resources mentioned please go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/messagefromcarys/]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/2336888e5464c7272c5e90597ffa491c.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='13710000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >898</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030434/what-carys-wants-you-to-know-about-your-childrens-feelings.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030434/what-carys-wants-you-to-know-about-your-childrens-feelings.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Does My Child Have Implicit Bias (Part 1)</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/does-my-child-have-implicit-bias-part-1-1788573898/33030435</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293851268190213</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 08 Mar 2021 16:58:45 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[What is implicit bias? Do I have it (and do you?)? Does my (and your?) child have it? And if we do have implicit bias, what, if anything, can we do about it?

Join me in a conversation with Dr. Mahzarin Banaji, former Dean of the Department of Psychology at Harvard University and co-creator of the Implicit Association Test, for an overview of implicit bias and how we can know if we (and our children) have it.

This episode will be followed by a second part in this mini-series where we dig deeply into the research, where results are complex and often contradictory. Stay tuned!

For the full transcript of this interview and links to resources mentioned in please go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/implicitbias/]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[What is implicit bias? Do I have it (and do you?)? Does my (and your?) child have it? And if we do have implicit bias, what, if anything, can we do about it?

Join me in a conversation with Dr. Mahzarin Banaji, former Dean of the Department of Psychology at Harvard University and co-creator of the Implicit Association Test, for an overview of implicit bias and how we can know if we (and our children) have it.

This episode will be followed by a second part in this mini-series where we dig deeply into the research, where results are complex and often contradictory. Stay tuned!

For the full transcript of this interview and links to resources mentioned in please go to https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/implicitbias/]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/eb71e2e35e96070ab1dd72adeefc0f37.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='47220000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3094</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030435/does-my-child-have-implicit-bias-part-1.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030435/does-my-child-have-implicit-bias-part-1.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Introduction to Mindfulness and Meditation with Diana Winston</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/introduction-to-mindfulness-and-meditation-with-diana-winston-1788573898/33030436</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293851268190212</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 22 Feb 2021 12:41:55 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Meditation is touted as being a cure-all for everything from anxiety to depression to addictions. But is it possible that all this is too good to be true?

In this episode, meditation teacher – and former Buddhist nun! – Diana Winston guides us through what we know of the research on meditation that’s relevant to parents. It turns out that the quality of much of this research isn’t amazing, but this may not matter to you if you’re thinking of starting a meditation practice because the opportunity cost (a few minutes a day) is so low and the potential benefits are so high.

We walk through a basic meditation that you can do anywhere, and no – it doesn’t involve sitting cross-legged with your thumb and first finger held in a circle and saying ‘ommmmmm….’.

I was skeptical about meditation too – until I tried it. Perhaps it might help you as well?


You can find the full transcript and links to resources mentioned in this episode at https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/mindfulness/]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Meditation is touted as being a cure-all for everything from anxiety to depression to addictions. But is it possible that all this is too good to be true?

In this episode, meditation teacher – and former Buddhist nun! – Diana Winston guides us through what we know of the research on meditation that’s relevant to parents. It turns out that the quality of much of this research isn’t amazing, but this may not matter to you if you’re thinking of starting a meditation practice because the opportunity cost (a few minutes a day) is so low and the potential benefits are so high.

We walk through a basic meditation that you can do anywhere, and no – it doesn’t involve sitting cross-legged with your thumb and first finger held in a circle and saying ‘ommmmmm….’.

I was skeptical about meditation too – until I tried it. Perhaps it might help you as well?


You can find the full transcript and links to resources mentioned in this episode at https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/mindfulness/]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/9eb0e93bc83bc69697f69aaa650d0592.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='49430000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3239</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030436/introduction-to-mindfulness-and-meditation-with-diana-winston.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030436/introduction-to-mindfulness-and-meditation-with-diana-winston.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Untigering with Iris Chen</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/untigering-with-iris-chen-1788573898/33030437</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293851268190220</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 31 Jan 2021 23:20:22 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[In this new episode we talk with Iris Chen about her new book, Untigering: Peaceful Parenting for the Deconstructing Tiger Parent.

Iris admits to being a parent who engaged in \"yelling, spanking, and threatening with unreasonable consequences\" - but far from becoming a well-behaved, obedient child, her son fought back. The harder she punished, the more he resisted. Their home became a battleground of endless power struggles, uncontrollable tantrums, and constant frustration.

But Iris didn\'t know what else to do: she had learned this over-controlling style from her own parents: watching TV without permission, talking back to her father, and having a boyfriend before college were simply out of the question when she was growing up.

In her parents\' eyes, they had done all the right things: Iris got good grades, graduated from an elite university, and married another successful Chinese-American.

But through interacting with her son, Iris realized that all of these achievements had come at a great cost: a cost that her son was trying to show her through his resistance. Eventually Iris saw that her son\'s behavior wasn\'t the problem; he was simply reacting to her attempts to control him, and that it was her own approach that needed to change.

Now Iris is well along her own Untigering path: basing her relationship with her children on finding win-win solutions to problems, being flexible, and respecting each other\'s boundaries.

As I do too, Iris sees this path as a journey toward creating a society where everyone belongs.

For the full transcript of this episodes as well as episode highlights and resources mentioned, you can find all of those at https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/untigering/]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[In this new episode we talk with Iris Chen about her new book, Untigering: Peaceful Parenting for the Deconstructing Tiger Parent.

Iris admits to being a parent who engaged in \"yelling, spanking, and threatening with unreasonable consequences\" - but far from becoming a well-behaved, obedient child, her son fought back. The harder she punished, the more he resisted. Their home became a battleground of endless power struggles, uncontrollable tantrums, and constant frustration.

But Iris didn\'t know what else to do: she had learned this over-controlling style from her own parents: watching TV without permission, talking back to her father, and having a boyfriend before college were simply out of the question when she was growing up.

In her parents\' eyes, they had done all the right things: Iris got good grades, graduated from an elite university, and married another successful Chinese-American.

But through interacting with her son, Iris realized that all of these achievements had come at a great cost: a cost that her son was trying to show her through his resistance. Eventually Iris saw that her son\'s behavior wasn\'t the problem; he was simply reacting to her attempts to control him, and that it was her own approach that needed to change.

Now Iris is well along her own Untigering path: basing her relationship with her children on finding win-win solutions to problems, being flexible, and respecting each other\'s boundaries.

As I do too, Iris sees this path as a journey toward creating a society where everyone belongs.

For the full transcript of this episodes as well as episode highlights and resources mentioned, you can find all of those at https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/untigering/]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/35bb2e7a167773dd14b8493cc0839c3e.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='38830000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2544</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030437/untigering-with-iris-chen.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030437/untigering-with-iris-chen.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Responding to the U.S. Capitol Siege</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/responding-to-the-us-capitol-siege-1788573898/33030438</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293851268190239</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 10 Jan 2021 20:51:09 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[In this ad hoc episode, I outline a response to the U.S. Capitol siege. I provide some suggestions for ways to talk with your child about the events, but also ask that you take two more steps: (1) examine your own role in these events, even if you condemn them yourself (as I do); (2) take action based on your own position and role in the world to work toward equality.

Links to useful tools on how to talk about this incident with your kids at https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/capitolsiege/]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[In this ad hoc episode, I outline a response to the U.S. Capitol siege. I provide some suggestions for ways to talk with your child about the events, but also ask that you take two more steps: (1) examine your own role in these events, even if you condemn them yourself (as I do); (2) take action based on your own position and role in the world to work toward equality.

Links to useful tools on how to talk about this incident with your kids at https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/capitolsiege/]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/d54681064f5efbf74d4648d89391960c.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='25040000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >1641</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030438/responding-to-the-us-capitol-siege.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030438/responding-to-the-us-capitol-siege.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >From Anxious Overwhelm to Optimistic Calm with Anne Hamlin</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/from-anxious-overwhelm-to-optimistic-calm-with-anne-hamlin-1788573898/33030439</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293851268190230</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 14 Dec 2020 19:40:21 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[In this Sharing Your Parenting Mojo episode we hear from listener Anne, who has been in my Parenting Membership for a year now. In our conversation we discussed the anxiety she used to feel about every aspect of parenting, including the things she wanted to teach her son to do (Spanish! Coding!) and how she interacted with both him and with her husband.

She actually joined the Parenting Membership to learn how to become the perfect parent, and I\'m sorry to say that I failed as her teacher/guide in that regard. She is not a perfect parent (and neither am I), but she is now a perfectly good enough parent, and has been able to relax into her relationship with her son because of that.

I hope you enjoy this raw, vulnerable conversation where Anne reflects on the changes she has made in her life over the last year.

To read the full transcript to this interview go to http://yourparentingmojo.com/anne.]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[In this Sharing Your Parenting Mojo episode we hear from listener Anne, who has been in my Parenting Membership for a year now. In our conversation we discussed the anxiety she used to feel about every aspect of parenting, including the things she wanted to teach her son to do (Spanish! Coding!) and how she interacted with both him and with her husband.

She actually joined the Parenting Membership to learn how to become the perfect parent, and I\'m sorry to say that I failed as her teacher/guide in that regard. She is not a perfect parent (and neither am I), but she is now a perfectly good enough parent, and has been able to relax into her relationship with her son because of that.

I hope you enjoy this raw, vulnerable conversation where Anne reflects on the changes she has made in her life over the last year.

To read the full transcript to this interview go to http://yourparentingmojo.com/anne.]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/e8ce3904aada073d9098b8266df7d5a4.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='21200000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >1389</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030439/from-anxious-overwhelm-to-optimistic-calm-with-anne-hamlin.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030439/from-anxious-overwhelm-to-optimistic-calm-with-anne-hamlin.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Problem Solving with Dr. Ross Greene</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/problem-solving-with-dr-ross-greene-1788573898/33030440</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293851268190215</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 06 Dec 2020 11:00:02 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Let\'s talk problem solving! Many of us have tried it, but it\'s so common to get stuck...and to think that the method doesn\'t work, and then return in exasperation to the methods we\'d been using all along. These often involve coercion, or forcing the child to do something they don\'t want to do - but what\'s the alternative?

In this episode we talk with Dr. Ross Greene, who developed the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (formerly Collaborative Problem Solving) approach in his books The Explosive Child and Raising Human Beings. I really enjoyed digging into the research for this episode (why do all the papers describing CPS compare its effectiveness to behaviorist-based approaches?) but I ended up really taking one for the team: we didn\'t have time for all of my questions on the research because I wanted to make sure to address the challenges with problem solving that parents in the free Your Parenting Mojo Facebook group described when I asked them about this topic.

These challenges included:
- How to problem solve with very young children
- What to do when the same issue recurs over and over and the solutions we decide on together don\'t seem to help
- How to navigate a child not wanting to leave the park when it\'s time to go
- How to approach a child who doesn\'t seem to be able to or refuses to communicate their feelings

For more information, check out Dr. Green\'s books Raising Human Beings and The Explosive Child
You can find the full transcript of this episode as well as all resources referenced in this episode at https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/cps/.]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Let\'s talk problem solving! Many of us have tried it, but it\'s so common to get stuck...and to think that the method doesn\'t work, and then return in exasperation to the methods we\'d been using all along. These often involve coercion, or forcing the child to do something they don\'t want to do - but what\'s the alternative?

In this episode we talk with Dr. Ross Greene, who developed the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (formerly Collaborative Problem Solving) approach in his books The Explosive Child and Raising Human Beings. I really enjoyed digging into the research for this episode (why do all the papers describing CPS compare its effectiveness to behaviorist-based approaches?) but I ended up really taking one for the team: we didn\'t have time for all of my questions on the research because I wanted to make sure to address the challenges with problem solving that parents in the free Your Parenting Mojo Facebook group described when I asked them about this topic.

These challenges included:
- How to problem solve with very young children
- What to do when the same issue recurs over and over and the solutions we decide on together don\'t seem to help
- How to navigate a child not wanting to leave the park when it\'s time to go
- How to approach a child who doesn\'t seem to be able to or refuses to communicate their feelings

For more information, check out Dr. Green\'s books Raising Human Beings and The Explosive Child
You can find the full transcript of this episode as well as all resources referenced in this episode at https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/cps/.]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/b0c573667f1e49c40080af889ea1ebbe.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='53970000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3536</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030440/problem-solving-with-dr-ross-greene.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030440/problem-solving-with-dr-ross-greene.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to Set Boundaries in Parenting with Xavier Dagba</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-set-boundaries-in-parenting-with-xavier-dagba-1788573898/33030441</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293851268190229</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 30 Nov 2020 02:40:12 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[My guest for this episode is life coach and reparenting expert Xavier Dagba, who is here to discuss the topic of boundaries in parenting.

We don’t tend to learn much about having boundaries when we’re young, because our culture teaches that children shouldn’t really need or have them (and those of us who are using respectful parenting approaches are working against the tide here). This then translates to us not knowing how to set boundaries as adults, and feeling ‘walked all over’ – without fully understanding why, or what to do about it.

We also talk about the limit between boundaries and limits, an important distinction as we interact with our children.

If you need more support in setting limits that your child will respect (and using far fewer of them than you might ever have thought possible – while still having your boundaries respected!), I hope you’ll join my FREE Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop that runs between December 7-11. When you learn how to set limits that are grounded in your values, you’ll hold them with confidence and you’ll see MUCH less testing behavior from your child. We’ll also introduce tools to help you find ways to engage your child’s collaboration so you can really see a shift in the emotional climate of your home.

You can find the full transcript and links to the references mentioned in this episode at https://yourparentingmojo.com/boundaries]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[My guest for this episode is life coach and reparenting expert Xavier Dagba, who is here to discuss the topic of boundaries in parenting.

We don’t tend to learn much about having boundaries when we’re young, because our culture teaches that children shouldn’t really need or have them (and those of us who are using respectful parenting approaches are working against the tide here). This then translates to us not knowing how to set boundaries as adults, and feeling ‘walked all over’ – without fully understanding why, or what to do about it.

We also talk about the limit between boundaries and limits, an important distinction as we interact with our children.

If you need more support in setting limits that your child will respect (and using far fewer of them than you might ever have thought possible – while still having your boundaries respected!), I hope you’ll join my FREE Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop that runs between December 7-11. When you learn how to set limits that are grounded in your values, you’ll hold them with confidence and you’ll see MUCH less testing behavior from your child. We’ll also introduce tools to help you find ways to engage your child’s collaboration so you can really see a shift in the emotional climate of your home.

You can find the full transcript and links to the references mentioned in this episode at https://yourparentingmojo.com/boundaries]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/1e6c9bc096d4461f91b29a351c30c5a9.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='48030000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3147</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030441/how-to-set-boundaries-in-parenting-with-xavier-dagba.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030441/how-to-set-boundaries-in-parenting-with-xavier-dagba.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Technoference with Dr. Jenny Radesky</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/technoference-with-dr-jenny-radesky-1788573898/33030442</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293851268190233</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 23 Nov 2020 16:45:06 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[I often hear two related ideas about adults’ screen usage around children. Sometimes the parent asking the question guiltily confesses to using screens around their children more than they would like, and to using screens as a momentary escape from the demands of parenting.

Or the parent asking the question feels that they have found a sense of balance in their own screen usage, but worries about their partner who frequently ignores their child because they’re so focused on a screen.

In this episode we interview a luminary in the field of research related to children and screen usage: Dr. Jenny Radesky, who is a Developmental Behavioral Pediatrician and Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at the University of Michigan Medical School. Her research interests include the use of mobile technology by parents and young children, and how this relates to child self-regulation and parent-child interaction, and she was the lead author of the 2016 American Academy of Pediatrics policy statement on digital media use in early childhood.

We’ll learn whether you should be worried about Technoference, and some judgement-free steps you can take to navigate your (or your partner’s) screen usage around your child.

You can read the full episode transcript at https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/technoference/]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[I often hear two related ideas about adults’ screen usage around children. Sometimes the parent asking the question guiltily confesses to using screens around their children more than they would like, and to using screens as a momentary escape from the demands of parenting.

Or the parent asking the question feels that they have found a sense of balance in their own screen usage, but worries about their partner who frequently ignores their child because they’re so focused on a screen.

In this episode we interview a luminary in the field of research related to children and screen usage: Dr. Jenny Radesky, who is a Developmental Behavioral Pediatrician and Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at the University of Michigan Medical School. Her research interests include the use of mobile technology by parents and young children, and how this relates to child self-regulation and parent-child interaction, and she was the lead author of the 2016 American Academy of Pediatrics policy statement on digital media use in early childhood.

We’ll learn whether you should be worried about Technoference, and some judgement-free steps you can take to navigate your (or your partner’s) screen usage around your child.

You can read the full episode transcript at https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/technoference/]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/98f238971d92ae56b9f316d4a74b56ad.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='54110000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3546</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030442/technoference-with-dr-jenny-radesky.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030442/technoference-with-dr-jenny-radesky.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >The Art of Holding Space with Heather Plett</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/the-art-of-holding-space-with-heather-plett-1788573898/33030443</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293851268190238</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 16 Nov 2020 02:28:52 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[If you’ve been a parent for a while - or maybe even if you haven’t - you probably saw an article on Holding Space making the rounds of online communities a few years ago. In the article the author, Heather Plett, describes how she and her siblings were able to hold space for their dying mother in her final days because a palliative care nurse held space for them. 

The article outlined some principles of holding space, and I think it really resonated with a lot of people – possibly because so many of us wish we had been held in that way, and we find ourselves trying to hold space for others in that way without a lot of guidance or support. 

 I kept that article in the back of my mind, and last year I took Heather’s 9-month in-depth course on holding space, and she’s just released a book called The art of holding space: A practice of love, liberation, and leadership. In this episode we discuss what it means to hold space for others as parents, and how to raise our children to be able to hold space for others.

To find a full transcript for this episode, please visit https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/holdingspace]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[If you’ve been a parent for a while - or maybe even if you haven’t - you probably saw an article on Holding Space making the rounds of online communities a few years ago. In the article the author, Heather Plett, describes how she and her siblings were able to hold space for their dying mother in her final days because a palliative care nurse held space for them. 

The article outlined some principles of holding space, and I think it really resonated with a lot of people – possibly because so many of us wish we had been held in that way, and we find ourselves trying to hold space for others in that way without a lot of guidance or support. 

 I kept that article in the back of my mind, and last year I took Heather’s 9-month in-depth course on holding space, and she’s just released a book called The art of holding space: A practice of love, liberation, and leadership. In this episode we discuss what it means to hold space for others as parents, and how to raise our children to be able to hold space for others.

To find a full transcript for this episode, please visit https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/holdingspace]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/d314dc35e5e3705e444661bcda96185e.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='51440000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3371</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030443/the-art-of-holding-space-with-heather-plett.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030443/the-art-of-holding-space-with-heather-plett.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Fostering Positive Sibling Relationship with Kira Dorrian and Deana Thayer</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/fostering-positive-sibling-relationship-with-kira-dorrian-and-deana-thayer-1788573898/33030444</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293851268190240</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 09 Nov 2020 16:32:34 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Sibling relationships can be SO HARD! Sometimes it might seem that we can\'t leave them alone for even a second before they\'re at each other\'s throats, and on top of this we see their struggles and are reminded of the struggles that we had with our own siblings so many years ago. This can cause us to overreact in the moment, even when we know it\'s not helping the situation.

I discussed some of the reasons behind sibling squabbles a couple of years ago in a conversation with Dr. Susan McHale of Penn State University. You can find that episode here:
https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/siblings/
 In today\'s episode we build on this knowledge by discussing some super practical tools to help parents foster positive sibling relationships.

In this Sharing Your Parenting Mojo episode I talk with Kira Dorrian and Deana Thayer of Future Focused Parenting, who host the Raising Adults podcast. The parents of seven children between them, including a set of twins and five in a blended family, Kira and Deana know their way around sibling squabbles.

We discuss ways to stop being the person who always has to moderate every disagreement and instead equip our children with the skills they need to find solutions to their own problems.

You can read the full episode transcript here:
https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/futurefocused/]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Sibling relationships can be SO HARD! Sometimes it might seem that we can\'t leave them alone for even a second before they\'re at each other\'s throats, and on top of this we see their struggles and are reminded of the struggles that we had with our own siblings so many years ago. This can cause us to overreact in the moment, even when we know it\'s not helping the situation.

I discussed some of the reasons behind sibling squabbles a couple of years ago in a conversation with Dr. Susan McHale of Penn State University. You can find that episode here:
https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/siblings/
 In today\'s episode we build on this knowledge by discussing some super practical tools to help parents foster positive sibling relationships.

In this Sharing Your Parenting Mojo episode I talk with Kira Dorrian and Deana Thayer of Future Focused Parenting, who host the Raising Adults podcast. The parents of seven children between them, including a set of twins and five in a blended family, Kira and Deana know their way around sibling squabbles.

We discuss ways to stop being the person who always has to moderate every disagreement and instead equip our children with the skills they need to find solutions to their own problems.

You can read the full episode transcript here:
https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/futurefocused/]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/d30e2b4c5231dd430d369fcbbdce548d.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='31380000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2056</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030444/fostering-positive-sibling-relationship-with-kira-dorrian-and-deana-thayer.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030444/fostering-positive-sibling-relationship-with-kira-dorrian-and-deana-thayer.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Maternal Ambivalence with Dr Sarah LaChance Adams</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/maternal-ambivalence-with-dr-sarah-lachance-adams-1788573898/33030445</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293851268190210</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Fri, 06 Nov 2020 14:22:05 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[This episode builds on our recent conversations with Dr. Moira Mikolajczak on Parental Burnout [link] and with Dr. Susan Pollak on Self-Compassion. Today we talk with Dr. Sarah LaChance Adams, Florida Blue Distinguished Professor of Philosophy and Religious Studies and the Director of the Florida Blue Center for Ethics at the University of North Florida, on the topic of maternal ambivalence. This is the idea that we love our children dearly but we can also feel very torn between our love for them, and our role as their parents which may make us feel as though we have to constantly put our own needs on the back burner in favor of theirs. We may even feel like we lose our own sense of self and our own ability to understand and meet our needs in this process.
Why do we feel maternal ambivalence? What are the different forms that this experience can take? And what should we do about it if we feel it? We discuss societal-scale issues, as well as things we can do locally and personally to navigate this tension we feel related to our children.

For the full transcript and references for the show, please visit https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/maternalambivalence/

#ambivalence #maternal #parenting #psychoanalytic #english #feminist #pregnancy #somatic #bodies #nature #tedxtalks #postpartum #body #family #psychology #fyp #parenting #DrSarahLaChanceAdams]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[This episode builds on our recent conversations with Dr. Moira Mikolajczak on Parental Burnout [link] and with Dr. Susan Pollak on Self-Compassion. Today we talk with Dr. Sarah LaChance Adams, Florida Blue Distinguished Professor of Philosophy and Religious Studies and the Director of the Florida Blue Center for Ethics at the University of North Florida, on the topic of maternal ambivalence. This is the idea that we love our children dearly but we can also feel very torn between our love for them, and our role as their parents which may make us feel as though we have to constantly put our own needs on the back burner in favor of theirs. We may even feel like we lose our own sense of self and our own ability to understand and meet our needs in this process.
Why do we feel maternal ambivalence? What are the different forms that this experience can take? And what should we do about it if we feel it? We discuss societal-scale issues, as well as things we can do locally and personally to navigate this tension we feel related to our children.

For the full transcript and references for the show, please visit https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/maternalambivalence/

#ambivalence #maternal #parenting #psychoanalytic #english #feminist #pregnancy #somatic #bodies #nature #tedxtalks #postpartum #body #family #psychology #fyp #parenting #DrSarahLaChanceAdams]]></description>
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<itunes:duration >3418</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030445/maternal-ambivalence-with-dr-sarah-lachance-adams.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030445/maternal-ambivalence-with-dr-sarah-lachance-adams.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Self-Compassion for Parents with Dr. Susan Pollak</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/self-compassion-for-parents-with-dr-susan-pollak-1788573898/33030446</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293851268190221</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 18 Oct 2020 13:14:14 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[In this episode, Dr. Susan Pollak helps us to apply mindfulness skills to our relationships with our children so we can parent in line with our values, rather than just reacting when our children push our buttons.


You\'ll learn:
- What\'s the point of mindfulness, and does it matter if we bring our full attention and presence to diaper changes?
- Why we\'re so hard on ourselves, even when we always try to be kind to others
- Some concrete tools to use when you interact with your children TODAY in those moments when it seems like everything is falling apart.

Dr. Pollak is a psychologist in private practice in Cambridge, Massachusetts. She is a long-time student of meditation and yoga who has been integrating the practices of meditation into psychotherapy since the 1980s.

Dr. Pollack is cofounder and teacher at the Center for mindfulness and Compassion at Harvard Medical School and the Cambridge Health Alliance, and has just stepped down as President of the Institute for Meditation and Psychotherapy, a position which she held since 2010. She also writes regularly for Psychology today on the topic of integrating mindfulness into daily life.


For the full transcript and references for the show, please visit https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/selfcompassion]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[In this episode, Dr. Susan Pollak helps us to apply mindfulness skills to our relationships with our children so we can parent in line with our values, rather than just reacting when our children push our buttons.


You\'ll learn:
- What\'s the point of mindfulness, and does it matter if we bring our full attention and presence to diaper changes?
- Why we\'re so hard on ourselves, even when we always try to be kind to others
- Some concrete tools to use when you interact with your children TODAY in those moments when it seems like everything is falling apart.

Dr. Pollak is a psychologist in private practice in Cambridge, Massachusetts. She is a long-time student of meditation and yoga who has been integrating the practices of meditation into psychotherapy since the 1980s.

Dr. Pollack is cofounder and teacher at the Center for mindfulness and Compassion at Harvard Medical School and the Cambridge Health Alliance, and has just stepped down as President of the Institute for Meditation and Psychotherapy, a position which she held since 2010. She also writes regularly for Psychology today on the topic of integrating mindfulness into daily life.


For the full transcript and references for the show, please visit https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/selfcompassion]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/59e2d8dfcfcad89c712c033d6835dc5e.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='62420000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3880</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030446/self-compassion-for-parents-with-dr-susan-pollak.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030446/self-compassion-for-parents-with-dr-susan-pollak.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Aligning Your Parenting With Your Values: Hannah &amp; Kelty of the Upbringing podcast</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/aligning-your-parenting-with-your-values-hannah-kelty-of-the-upbringing-podcast-1788573898/33030447</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293851268190216</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Tue, 06 Oct 2020 06:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Ever have a vague sense that your interactions with your child aren’t quite aligned with your values…but aren’t quite sure what to do about it?

 

Have you been to a protest and shouted “Black Lives Matter! Fight the Power!”…and then gone home and forced your child to brush their teeth?

 

Have you chastised Grandma for ‘stealing’ kisses from your child because it disrespects their body autonomy…and then pinned them down for a haircut?

 

You’re not alone. We’re in this weird place where we know we want to do things differently than the way we were raised. But cultural norms are still telling us: we need to be in charge. (Because if we aren’t in charge, who is?)

 

A conversation with the hosts of Upbringing

My guests today, Hannah and Kelty of the Upbringing podcast, see this dissonance more clearly than almost anyone I’ve met. In their podcast they explore how we live one way as people (who believe in freedom! respect! consent! empathy!) and another way as parents (timeouts, shame, control, consequences), and how we’re unwittingly undermining the very skills and values we hope to promote.

 

But blaming and shaming helps nobody (not us…and certainly not our children). By instead approaching the topic with compassion and optimism, we can get out of an us vs. them relationship with our children, and take back our parenting practices from our cultural conditioning, and parent in relationship with our children in a way that’s deeply aligned with our values.

 


Hannah and Kelty describe their RESIST approach (Respect, Empathy, Sync up, Innovate, Summarize, Trust) and also have a new guide to navigating sibling conflict (use discount code MOJO at checkout for 15% off!) on their beautiful website. If our conversation strikes a chord, I’d definitely encourage you to check out their podcast and weekly Q&As on Instagram.


For a full transcript, please visit https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/upbringing]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Ever have a vague sense that your interactions with your child aren’t quite aligned with your values…but aren’t quite sure what to do about it?

 

Have you been to a protest and shouted “Black Lives Matter! Fight the Power!”…and then gone home and forced your child to brush their teeth?

 

Have you chastised Grandma for ‘stealing’ kisses from your child because it disrespects their body autonomy…and then pinned them down for a haircut?

 

You’re not alone. We’re in this weird place where we know we want to do things differently than the way we were raised. But cultural norms are still telling us: we need to be in charge. (Because if we aren’t in charge, who is?)

 

A conversation with the hosts of Upbringing

My guests today, Hannah and Kelty of the Upbringing podcast, see this dissonance more clearly than almost anyone I’ve met. In their podcast they explore how we live one way as people (who believe in freedom! respect! consent! empathy!) and another way as parents (timeouts, shame, control, consequences), and how we’re unwittingly undermining the very skills and values we hope to promote.

 

But blaming and shaming helps nobody (not us…and certainly not our children). By instead approaching the topic with compassion and optimism, we can get out of an us vs. them relationship with our children, and take back our parenting practices from our cultural conditioning, and parent in relationship with our children in a way that’s deeply aligned with our values.

 


Hannah and Kelty describe their RESIST approach (Respect, Empathy, Sync up, Innovate, Summarize, Trust) and also have a new guide to navigating sibling conflict (use discount code MOJO at checkout for 15% off!) on their beautiful website. If our conversation strikes a chord, I’d definitely encourage you to check out their podcast and weekly Q&As on Instagram.


For a full transcript, please visit https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/upbringing]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/4c2dd921e274c5236f4b86629d3fe164.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='39930000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2617</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030447/aligning-your-parenting-with-your-values-hannah-kelty-of-the-upbringing-podcast.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030447/aligning-your-parenting-with-your-values-hannah-kelty-of-the-upbringing-podcast.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to support your perfectionist child</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-support-your-perfectionist-child-1788573898/33030448</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293851268190222</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Mon, 05 Oct 2020 06:41:27 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Parents often reach out to me to ask how they can support their perfectionist children, who can\'t seem to cope with failure. I\'ve been on the lookout for someone to talk with us for a while, but just as with our episode on anxiety, it took quite some searching to find an expert who doesn\'t take a behaviorist-based approach - meaning that if the behavior is fixed, the problem is fixed too.


I was really glad to find today\'s guest, Dr. Paul Hewitt, who is a Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of British Columbia. Dr. Hewitt has spent decades researching perfectionism and recently received the Donald O. Hebb award for his distinguished contributions to psychology as a science by the Canadian Psychological Association. He is currently doing research on the treatment of perfectionism, and trains clinicians in the treatments of perfectionistic behavior. In this interview, he tells us what we know about perfectionism, what we still don\'t know, and how to help our children who have perfectionist tendencies.


For the transcript and full references, please visit https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/perfectionism]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Parents often reach out to me to ask how they can support their perfectionist children, who can\'t seem to cope with failure. I\'ve been on the lookout for someone to talk with us for a while, but just as with our episode on anxiety, it took quite some searching to find an expert who doesn\'t take a behaviorist-based approach - meaning that if the behavior is fixed, the problem is fixed too.


I was really glad to find today\'s guest, Dr. Paul Hewitt, who is a Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of British Columbia. Dr. Hewitt has spent decades researching perfectionism and recently received the Donald O. Hebb award for his distinguished contributions to psychology as a science by the Canadian Psychological Association. He is currently doing research on the treatment of perfectionism, and trains clinicians in the treatments of perfectionistic behavior. In this interview, he tells us what we know about perfectionism, what we still don\'t know, and how to help our children who have perfectionist tendencies.


For the transcript and full references, please visit https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/perfectionism]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/e143a1142b96dbb78cc9bf9d065c58ee.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='55210000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3742</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030448/how-to-support-your-perfectionist-child.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030448/how-to-support-your-perfectionist-child.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Work Family Conflict 200822</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/work-family-conflict-200822-1788573898/33030449</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293851268190223</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Fri, 11 Sep 2020 03:08:14 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[Work-family conflict can seem unavoidable – especially in the era of COVID when we’re either working from home with children underfoot all day, or we’re an essential worker who has to leave the house and can’t find childcare.

In this conversation with licensed psychologist Dr. Yael Schonbrun, Assistant Professor of Psychology at Brown University, and co-host of the Psychologists Off The Clock podcast, we acknowledge that we must enact policies that provide more of a safety net for families. But even in the absence of these policies, we can make choices that allow us to live in greater alignment with our values, and also find a sense of peace.

If you enjoyed episode 113 on Dr. Chris Niebauer’s book No Self, No Problem, then you’ll find that the tools we discuss in this episode flow directly from that one.]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[Work-family conflict can seem unavoidable – especially in the era of COVID when we’re either working from home with children underfoot all day, or we’re an essential worker who has to leave the house and can’t find childcare.

In this conversation with licensed psychologist Dr. Yael Schonbrun, Assistant Professor of Psychology at Brown University, and co-host of the Psychologists Off The Clock podcast, we acknowledge that we must enact policies that provide more of a safety net for families. But even in the absence of these policies, we can make choices that allow us to live in greater alignment with our values, and also find a sense of peace.

If you enjoyed episode 113 on Dr. Chris Niebauer’s book No Self, No Problem, then you’ll find that the tools we discuss in this episode flow directly from that one.]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/c9480346035a040c90c9295491522b89.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='49230000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3226</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030449/work-family-conflict-200822.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030449/work-family-conflict-200822.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Sharing Your Parenting Mojo: Denise Suarez</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/sharing-your-parenting-mojo-denise-suarez-1788573898/33030450</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293851268190231</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Fri, 11 Sep 2020 03:06:43 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[In this episode we hear from Denise, who claims to have listened to every Your Parenting Mojo episode…

Denise is a Filipina living in Madrid, and the intentional, respectful parenting style she’s chosen to use is somewhat out of place in both cultures. She wanted to chat about what to do when her daughter is having some big feelings out in public, and a well-meaning senior citizen approaches and says directly to her daughter: “You shouldn’t cry, because you look ugly when you cry.”

We talk through the immediate issue, as well as all the layers underneath that question, on this episode. And Denise’s children make a surprise guest appearance at the end!

You can find Denise on Facebook at facebook.com/DeniseSuarezConCarino]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[In this episode we hear from Denise, who claims to have listened to every Your Parenting Mojo episode…

Denise is a Filipina living in Madrid, and the intentional, respectful parenting style she’s chosen to use is somewhat out of place in both cultures. She wanted to chat about what to do when her daughter is having some big feelings out in public, and a well-meaning senior citizen approaches and says directly to her daughter: “You shouldn’t cry, because you look ugly when you cry.”

We talk through the immediate issue, as well as all the layers underneath that question, on this episode. And Denise’s children make a surprise guest appearance at the end!

You can find Denise on Facebook at facebook.com/DeniseSuarezConCarino]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/086e3a5ed0cc2358e9f43547d3ec3748.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='19870000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >1302</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030450/sharing-your-parenting-mojo-denise-suarez.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030450/sharing-your-parenting-mojo-denise-suarez.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Mindful Mama: Hunter Clarke-Fields</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/mindful-mama-hunter-clarke-fields-1788573898/33030451</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293851268190236</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Fri, 11 Sep 2020 02:56:48 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[We’re delving a little deeper into the topic of mindfulness with none other than the Mindful Mama, Hunter Clarke-Fields! We discuss Hunter’s journey from being triggered just as often as the rest of us, to using mindfulness techniques to center herself so she can parent more effectively. She even walks me through an impromptu mini-meditation!

You can buy Hunter’s book, Raising good humans: A mindful guide to breaking the cycle of reactive parenting and raising kind, confident kids on Amazon or at your local bookstore.]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[We’re delving a little deeper into the topic of mindfulness with none other than the Mindful Mama, Hunter Clarke-Fields! We discuss Hunter’s journey from being triggered just as often as the rest of us, to using mindfulness techniques to center herself so she can parent more effectively. She even walks me through an impromptu mini-meditation!

You can buy Hunter’s book, Raising good humans: A mindful guide to breaking the cycle of reactive parenting and raising kind, confident kids on Amazon or at your local bookstore.]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/0d6617face87a4461230208fd65889bb.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='29440000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >1929</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030451/mindful-mama-hunter-clarke-fields.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030451/mindful-mama-hunter-clarke-fields.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >Getting confident about the decision to homeschool with Dr. Laura Froyen</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/getting-confident-about-the-decision-to-homeschool-with-dr-laura-froyen-1788573898/33030452</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293851268190232</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 21 Jun 2020 17:59:19 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[School districts are starting to make plans to reopen – some with sneeze guards between desks; some on reduced schedules to accommodate the amount of space needed for social distancing, while some are going online-only for the Fall semester.

How will your child cope with this?

Did your child adapt well to online learning when schools closed? Will they find it relatively easy to see their friends but not be close to them? There are some children for whom these arrangements work well, but for others parents see big trouble ahead.

What are the options? Even if you’ve never considered homeschooling as a realistic option in the past, it might now be the tool that gets you through the next few months. But are you terrified that you don’t know everything your child needs to know? And how could it possibly work for your family?

Join me for a conversation with Dr. Laura Froyen, who is considering homeschooling her two children next semester – even though she has a Ph.D. in Human Development and Family Studies and wrote a dissertation on supporting young children in learning to read, she’s nervous that she doesn’t know everything she needs to know – so if you’re worried about this you’re certainly not alone!

We look at what we know about how long children actually spend learning in school (the answer is going to shock you!), how you can work AND homeschool, and how you can get confident that you really can support your child’s love of learning – even if you know your child will eventually go back to school.

The transcript for this episode can be found at www.yourparentingmojo.com/homeschool

To learn more about The Confident Homeschooler course, please visit www.yourparentingmojo.com/confidenthomeschooler]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[School districts are starting to make plans to reopen – some with sneeze guards between desks; some on reduced schedules to accommodate the amount of space needed for social distancing, while some are going online-only for the Fall semester.

How will your child cope with this?

Did your child adapt well to online learning when schools closed? Will they find it relatively easy to see their friends but not be close to them? There are some children for whom these arrangements work well, but for others parents see big trouble ahead.

What are the options? Even if you’ve never considered homeschooling as a realistic option in the past, it might now be the tool that gets you through the next few months. But are you terrified that you don’t know everything your child needs to know? And how could it possibly work for your family?

Join me for a conversation with Dr. Laura Froyen, who is considering homeschooling her two children next semester – even though she has a Ph.D. in Human Development and Family Studies and wrote a dissertation on supporting young children in learning to read, she’s nervous that she doesn’t know everything she needs to know – so if you’re worried about this you’re certainly not alone!

We look at what we know about how long children actually spend learning in school (the answer is going to shock you!), how you can work AND homeschool, and how you can get confident that you really can support your child’s love of learning – even if you know your child will eventually go back to school.

The transcript for this episode can be found at www.yourparentingmojo.com/homeschool

To learn more about The Confident Homeschooler course, please visit www.yourparentingmojo.com/confidenthomeschooler]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/7ad6cdc0d49daa4b0144b47036098eba.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='44720000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >2930</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030452/getting-confident-about-the-decision-to-homeschool-with-dr-laura-froyen.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030452/getting-confident-about-the-decision-to-homeschool-with-dr-laura-froyen.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >How to stop \&apos;Othering\&apos; and instead \&apos;Build Belonging\&apos; with Dr. john powell</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/how-to-stop-othering-and-instead-build-belonging-with-dr-john-powell-1788573898/33030453</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293851268190235</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 21 Jun 2020 17:38:23 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[I had originally approached today\'s topic of Othering through a financial lens, as part of the series of episodes on the intersection of parenting and money (previous episodes have been on NYT Money colunist Ron Lieberman\'s book The Opposite of Spoiled, How to Pass on Mental Wealth to your Child, The Impact of Consumerism on Parenting, and How to Set Up A Play Room. The series will conclude in the coming weeks with episodes on advertising and materialism).

I kept seeing questions in parenting groups: How can I teach my child about volunteering? How can I donate the stuff we don\'t need without making the recipient feel less than us?

And, of course, after the Black Lives Matter movement began its recent up-swing of activity, the topic took on a new life that\'s more closely related to my guest\'s work: viewing othering through the lens of race.

My guest, Dr. john a. powell, is an internationally recognized expert in the areas of civil rights and civil liberties and a wide range of issues including race, structural racism, ethnicity, housing, poverty, and democracy. He is the Director of the Othering & Belonging Institute (formerly Haas Institute for a Fair and Inclusive Society), which supports research to generate specific prescriptions for changes in policy and practice that address disparities related to race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, disability, and socioeconomics in California and nationwide. In addition, to being a Professor of Law and Professor of African American Studies and Ethnic Studies at the University of California, Berkeley, Professor powell holds the Robert D. Haas Chancellor’s Chair in Equity and Inclusion.


For a full transcript, references, and list of books we discussed in the episode, please visit www.yourparentingmojo.com/othering]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[I had originally approached today\'s topic of Othering through a financial lens, as part of the series of episodes on the intersection of parenting and money (previous episodes have been on NYT Money colunist Ron Lieberman\'s book The Opposite of Spoiled, How to Pass on Mental Wealth to your Child, The Impact of Consumerism on Parenting, and How to Set Up A Play Room. The series will conclude in the coming weeks with episodes on advertising and materialism).

I kept seeing questions in parenting groups: How can I teach my child about volunteering? How can I donate the stuff we don\'t need without making the recipient feel less than us?

And, of course, after the Black Lives Matter movement began its recent up-swing of activity, the topic took on a new life that\'s more closely related to my guest\'s work: viewing othering through the lens of race.

My guest, Dr. john a. powell, is an internationally recognized expert in the areas of civil rights and civil liberties and a wide range of issues including race, structural racism, ethnicity, housing, poverty, and democracy. He is the Director of the Othering & Belonging Institute (formerly Haas Institute for a Fair and Inclusive Society), which supports research to generate specific prescriptions for changes in policy and practice that address disparities related to race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, disability, and socioeconomics in California and nationwide. In addition, to being a Professor of Law and Professor of African American Studies and Ethnic Studies at the University of California, Berkeley, Professor powell holds the Robert D. Haas Chancellor’s Chair in Equity and Inclusion.


For a full transcript, references, and list of books we discussed in the episode, please visit www.yourparentingmojo.com/othering]]></description>
<enclosure  url='https://play.hubhopper.com/f83efe732b89d1221e9a27d0a2734ede.mp3?s=rss-feed'  length='59580000'  type='audio/mpeg' ></enclosure>
<itunes:duration >3904</itunes:duration>
<author >noquezarry@gmail.com</author>
<itunes:author >Your Parenting Mojo</itunes:author>
<itunes:image  href='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030453/how-to-stop-othering-and-instead-build-belonging-with-dr-john-powell.jpg'  url='https://files.hubhopper.com/podcast/487978/episode/33030453/how-to-stop-othering-and-instead-build-belonging-with-dr-john-powell.jpg' ></itunes:image>
<itunes:episodeType >full</itunes:episodeType>
</item>
<item>
<title >No Self, No Problem with Dr. Chris Niebauer</title>
<link >https://listen.hubhopper.com/episode/no-self-no-problem-with-dr-chris-niebauer-1788573898/33030454</link>
<guid >https://app.pigeonpod.cloud/feed/2095293759046144001/episode/2095293851268190228</guid>
<podcast:guid >https://hubhopper.com/podcast/your-parenting-mojo/487978</podcast:guid>
<pubDate >Sun, 21 Jun 2020 17:30:48 +0000</pubDate>
<itunes:summary ><![CDATA[If you heard the recent episode on Parental Burnout (available on audio-only at https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/burnout/), you’ll know that our identities can become really confusing when we become parents, especially for women. On one hand, society tells us that we have to work hard and do well so we can Achieve The Dream. And on the other hand, we’re told that a Good Mother sacrifices everything for her child – including her career. So what is a parent to do?

This episode brings together a couple of strands of my life that have been existing in parallel for a few months now. A friend of mine introduced me to meditation as a tool that I might find useful to explore when I was struggling with some personal issues. Not only did I find it interesting, but I also found elements of it that helped me to make sense of the situation I was in in a way that I had not been able to do until that point.

Like a lot of people, I had the common perception that meditation consists of sitting quietly on the floor cross-legged with thumb and pointing finger touching, saying ‘ommmm’ but when I looked into the research on mindfulness stress reduction that perception went away pretty fast. It had been shown in the scientific literature to be enormously helpful to people not just in reducing stress but also in reducing the severity of physical symptoms in the body that accompany stress.

But I was still having a hard time reconciling the thousands of scientific research papers I’ve read over the years on how children’s brains develop and some of these new ideas I was learning related mindfulness. And so that is kind of how I discovered Dr. Chris Niebauer and his book No Self, No Problem. After reading it I was able to reconcile those two strands – the psychological research and mindfulness – and I want to share that with you. Along the way, we’ll gain an understanding of the mind that may help us to overcome some of the challenges associated with Parental Burnout – so even if you’re not officially (clinically) suffering from burnout, this episode could still help you to better reconcile the different aspects of your life and identity.

For more information on the Your Parenting Mojo podcast (and to subscribe for updates when I release blog posts in addition to episodes), please go to https://www.yourparentingmojo.com]]></itunes:summary>
<description ><![CDATA[If you heard the recent episode on Parental Burnout (available on audio-only at https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/burnout/), you’ll know that our identities can become really confusing when we become parents, especially for women. On one hand, society tells us that we have to work hard and do well so we can Achieve The Dream. And on the other hand, we’re told that a Good Mother sacrifices everything for her child – including her career. So what is a parent to do?

This episode brings together a couple of strands of my life that have been existing in parallel for a few months now. A friend of mine introduced me to meditation as a tool that I might find useful to explore when I was struggling with some personal issues. Not only did I find it interesting, but I also found elements of it that helped me to make sense of the situation I was in in a way that I had not been able to do until that point.

Like a lot of people, I had the common perception that meditation consists of sitting quietly on the floor cross-legged with thumb and pointing finger touching, saying ‘ommmm’ but when I looked into the research on mindfulness stress reduction that perception went away pretty fast. It had been shown in the scientific literature to be enormously helpful to people not just in reducing stress but also in reducing the severity of physical symptoms in the body that accompany stress.

But I was still having a hard time reconciling the thousands of scientific research papers I’ve read over the years on how children’s brains develop and some of these new ideas I was learning related mindfulness. And so that is kind of how I discovered Dr. Chris Niebauer and his book No Self, No Problem. After reading it I was able to reconcile those two strands – the psychological research and mindfulness – and I want to share that with you. Along the way, we’ll gain an understanding of the mind that may help us to overcome some of the challenges associated with Parental Burnout – so even if you’re not officially (clinically) suffering from burnout, this episode could still help you to better reconcile the different aspects of your life and identity.

For more information on the Your Parenting Mojo podcast (and to subscribe for updates when I release blog posts in addition to episodes), please go to https://www.yourparentingmojo.com]]></description>
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